My column which I write at least every monday, sometimes more. It is basically about my opinions, on movies and life. I usually also get into stories about dudes I knew inside or my life of crime. This is MY attempt to document my journey.

• The Films of Jean Claude Van Damme (September 4th, 1999)
• My First Column (October 11th, 1999)
• Fight Club (October 11th, 1999)
• Mambo Socks (October 18th, 1999)
• Halloween (October 29th, 1999)
• A sort of block that prevents me from having something good to write about (November 3rd, 1999)
• Princess Mononoke (November 8th, 1999)
• Vern vs. that punk ass weasel motherfucker Jailhouse Jim (November 15th, 1999)
• Toy Story 2 (November 19th, 1999)
• Sleepy Hollow (November 22nd, 1999)
• Bruce Willis in Die Hard: an action breakthrough (December 1st, 1999)
• The Comedy of Jokes (December 6th, 1999)
• My New Discovery (December 13th, 1999)
• You’re a good motherfucker Charles Shultz (December 20th, 1999)
• Kaufman 2000 (December 27th, 1999)
• VERN2K (January 3rd, 2000)
• Nothing Lasts Forever: The Birth of Die Hard (January 10th, 2000)
• Sean vs. jealousy (January 10th, 2000)
• Motherfucker in the Mainstream? (January 17th, 2000)
• And the winner is… Bruce Campbell (January 24th, 2000)
• Cool Girl (January 31st, 2000)
• Vern on Ice (February 7th, 2000)
• Just plain pathetic (February 14th, 2000)
• Vern vs. the critical establishment (February 21st, 2000)
• The Society for Critics of the Online Film Critics Society (February 28th, 2000)
• Roger Ebert & Martin Scorsese 10 best of the decade list (March 6th, 2000)
• 3 Strikes (March 13th, 2000)
• pre-Oscar thoughts (March 20th, 2000)
• Oscar Sez (March 27th, 2000)
• Ghost Dog: The Way of the Samurai (April 3rd, 2000)
• Badasses of world Cinema (April 10th, 2000)
• American Psychos (April 17th, 2000)
• The Vern has risen (April 24th, 2000)
• Jockey Slut and Slam (May 8th, 2000)
• Gladiator (May 15th, 2000)
• I have seen the future of Badass pictures (May 22nd, 2000)
• elbow grease (May 29th, 2000)
• the two Ps (June 5th, 2000)
• 11 movies I saw about Dracula (June 12th, 2000)
• Vern’s summer preview (June 19th, 2000)
• The Free Vacation (June 26th, 2000)
• Fourth of July / I Am Legend (July 3rd, 2000)
• Introducing the World Badass Committee (July 10th, 2000)
• The Return of Clint (July 17th, 2000)
• Trekkies (July 24th, 2000)
• Best fuckin movie EVER? (July 31st, 2000)
• Hollow Man (August 7th, 2000)
• Ghost Dog and Titus on DVD (August 14th, 2000)
• The Iceberg is mine, motherfuckers (August 21st, 2000)
• God damn it stop talking about Survivor (August 28th, 2000)
• Labor Day – interview with the porn man (September 4th, 2000)
• Badass Movie Ballot (September 11th, 2000)
• Man stuff (September 25th, 2000)
• Almost Famous (revenge of the Ain’t It Cool Newsies) (September 27th, 2000)
• Hammer’s Karnstein trilogy (October 2nd, 2000)
• Meet the Parents (October 9th, 2000)
• Divided (Dancer in the Dark and Bamboozled) (October 16th, 2000)
• Burn the Witch (Blair Witch Part II) (October 23rd, 2000)
• Bitch Session (Requiem For a Dream, Charlie’s Angels) (October 30th, 2000)
• Coin Toss 2000 (November 6th, 2000)
• The Return of the Vern (December 4th, 2000)
• A low down dirty fucking god damn shame in a pile of filth and evil (December 14th, 2000)
• Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon (December 21st, 2000)
• Vern returns after long hiatus, starts yelling some weird shit about John Woo doing ninja turtles movies (June 27th, 2001)
• Vern’s thoughts one week after terrorist attacks (September 18th, 2001)
• Vern’s Top Nine Movies To Watch In These Unfortunate Times (October 14th, 2001)
• Military tribunals, Bush would have lost 6 out of 9 recounts, Ethnic profiling, + Amelie, Crying Freeman, Bones & The Wash (November 16th, 2001)
• Those Delightful French: Seven Deadly Sins, Baise Moi (December 3rd, 2001)
• Vern’s America (December 22nd, 2001)
• Muhammed Ali is #1 (December 31st, 2001)
• Corruption Fun featuring Tri-State Crematory, hit and run driver, Enron, 9-11 coverup, and our hero Billy Jack (March 1st, 2002)
• Summer movie preview, Enron themed whiskey ads, Waco anniversary (April 1st, 2002)
• Whoops, that’s right, we DID know there would be terrorist attacks. Our bad. (May 1st, 2002)
• FBI takes advantage, To Afghanistan and Back by Ted Rall (June 7th, 2002)
• The Afghanistan Wedding Massacre, Yoda, Digital Projection, Samurai Jack (July 11th, 2002)
• VERSUS: Batman vs. Superman, Alien vs. Predator, Jason vs. Freddy. Plus, a note on Harry Knowles. (July 23rd, 2002)
• The Strange Case of the White Executive Jet, Iraq Attack 2, The Good News, More Bad News Though, The Nerdy Shit – Digital Projection and Video (August 11th, 2002)
• A Year Ago, Some Shit Went Down (September 11th, 2002)
• A Good Month For the DVDs of Badass Cinema (September 24th, 2002)
• Vern attends an anti-war march – a photojournalistic type adventure (October 7th, 2002)
• Black Thursday (October 10th, 2002)
• Things That Kinda Bother Me (December 17th, 2002)
• Happy Martin Luther King Day (January 22nd, 2003)
• Fuck Colin Powell, My Plan for the Pope, Return of the old Support the Troops Switcheroo, Keep Fighting (February 23rd, 2003)
• URGENT DISPATCH FROM THE UNITED STATES GOVERNMENT AND/OR MEDIA (March 13th, 2003)
• The Wrath of Abe Lincoln (May 4th, 2003)
• Vern’s Amazingly Late Summer Preview (August 31st, 2003)
• Vern found cowering in spider hole (or, a tearful Vern emerges from the perspex box) (January 13th, 2004)
• Already I have written dozens of column related program activities (January 28th, 2004)
• Gay marriage, Ralph Nader running again, Duck hunting with Dick and Anton, Janet Jackson’s booby, THE SURREAL LIFE season 2 (February 28th, 2004)
• Richard Clarke, 9-11 Commission, the HUGE FUCKING ELEPHANT in the room (April 11th, 2004)
• Ass pyramids in Abu Ghraib, “blowing off steam,” how Bush can save face by following the traditions of feudal Japan (May 19th, 2004)
• Whoopi Goldberg: This Month’s Janet Jackson (July 17th, 2004)
• The Republican National Convention, plus a special bonus column (August 31st, 2004)
• I DON’T KNOW IF YOU REMEMBER THIS, BUT THEY LET A PLANE HIT THE FUCKING PENTAGON / REPUBLICAN CONVENTION WRAPUP / VIETNAM IS BACK / THEY DODGE IT, YOU PAY IT / A LITTLE PEP TALK FROM VERN (September 10th, 2004)
• 2004 presidential debates (October 7th, 2004)
• pathetically optimistic column written just before the axe came down on the supple neck of our democracy (November 2nd, 2004)
• ANGRY DISPATCH FROM THE UPPER LEFT CORNER (November 5th, 2004)
• MARTIN LUTHER KING DAY (January 17th, 2005)
• 2004 Oscar nominations (January 25th, 2005)
• LAY OFF CHRISTO, YOU ASSHOLES (February 16th, 2005)
• THE DAY I KNEW WHO DEEP THROAT WAS (February 24th, 2005)
• VTILII potpourri (April 17th, 2005)
• Karl Rove, Steroids, Movie Slump, Snakes on a Plane!, Why Mustard? (August 11th, 2005)
• Memories of the 2005 MTV Video Music Awards haunt me as Hurricane Katrina destroys New Orleans (September 1st, 2005)
• Scooter Libby Indictment (October 30th, 2005)
• Climbing a Ladder to the Moon (November 19th, 2005)
• Richard Pryor, Rest in Peace (December 10th, 2005)
• New Year’s Resolution (January 1st, 2006)
• Vern Loses Himself In Cartoon Network’s THE BOONDOCKS!! (January 21st, 2006)
• Seattle is #2! (February 6th, 2006)
• Dick Cheney’s shoots a motherfucker in the face with a shotgun, NSA listens to your phone calls (February 26th, 2006)
• Here is my post-Oscars comments (March 6th, 2006)
• My Review of The Steven Seagal Blues Band at the Tractor Tavern in Seattle (May 27th, 2006)
• Open letter to Mel Gibson after his drunk driving/Jew hating incident (August 1st, 2006)
• Vern’s Peace Initiative (August 13th, 2006)
• Tool Time with George Bush (November 3rd, 2006)
• 2006 End of Year Spectacular (December 29th, 2006)
• Holding the Razzies Accountable: Vern on the Other Great Awards Injustice (March 5th, 2007)
• Rob Zombie’s Halloween Remake (March 9th, 2007)
• Vern Goes on John Carpenter Remake Watch (March 14th, 2007)
• Long Live Dolemite! Vern on Rudy Ray Moore (March 20th, 2007)
• Vern Gives Up on Entertainment Weekly (April 5th, 2007)
• Exploitation Filmmaker John Flynn Passes Away, And Outlaw Vern Pays Tribute (April 9th, 2007)
• Can Jane Fonda Be Outdone? The Barbarella Remake… (April 19th, 2007)
• G’House and the Secrety of the Missing Bees (April 21st, 2007)
• Book Review: Men, Women, and Chain Saws: Gender in the Modern Horror Film (April 24th, 2007)
• FOX – Vern has some words for you about the pansy-assing of the 4th DIE FLACCID movie. (May 2nd, 2007)
• Vern’s Giant NSFW Interview With Scotty JX About ACTIONGIRLS: SOLDIERS OF THE DEAD! (August 29th, 2007)
• AICN BOOKS! Wow! Vern Can Read! ACTION SPEAKS LOUDER: VIOLENCE, SPECTACLE, AND THE AMERICAN ACTION MOVIE Reviewed! (September 3rd, 2007)
• Pass the Torture Porn, Please (October 25th, 2007)
• Jigsaw Needs to Study Up on Vincent Price (October 26th, 2007)
• Is Beowulf the Beginning or Another False Start? (November 20th, 2007)
• VvAvP-R (December 28th, 2007)
• Vern interviews a guy trying to make a movie about the filming of THE TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE!! (January 28th, 2008)
• VERN VS. THE DEMOCRATIC PRIMARY / TURNS OUT OBAMA HATES WHITES AND STUFF? (April 28th, 2008)
• 2008 Political Conventions (September 11th, 2008)
• The Flurry in Missouri (October 4th, 2008)
• Yes We Motherfucking Can (November 6th, 2008)
• Vern has read Stallone’s THE EXPENDABLES!!! (December 28th, 2008)
• Vern eulogizes the great Donald E. Westlake (January 2nd, 2009)
• Obama (January 20th, 2009)
• Script review (on video): MACHETE (April 27th, 2009)
• VERN’S 2009 SUMMER MOVIE EXPLODETACULAR (May 7th, 2009)
• Michael Jackson (June 26th, 2009)
• The Mystery of Bearded Harold (January 2nd, 2010)
• Vern Tells It Like It Is for September 19th, 2010: Of Storms and Stadiums (September 20th, 2010)
• Let’s talk about this Parker movie (April 21st, 2011)
• Some random thoughts I had about the news (May 2nd, 2011)
• VERN TELLS IT LIKE IT IS for October 14, 2011 (October 14th, 2011)
• Vern Tells It Like It Is: Forgiven (September 6th, 2012)
• Vern Tells It Like It Is: please vote, Americans (November 5th, 2012)
• Vern Tells It Like It Is: Those Damn Vulgarians (June 10th, 2013)
• Vern Tell’s It Like It Is: The Confession (June 3rd, 2014)
• Vern Tells It Like It Is: Why I think MAN OF STEEL gets a bum rap (July 28th, 2014)
• Righteous Fury: In Praise of Peaceful Notions In Violent Movies (May 22nd, 2015)
• Vern Tells It Like It Is: Pretty please vote for Clinton (November 4th, 2016)
• A long road (August 15th, 2018)