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Archive for the ‘Site News’ Category

Chris would like a word with you about the forums

Saturday, June 20th, 2015

computerHey everybody,

Chris, who generously helps me run all the computer crap around here, is working on some plans to upgrade outlawvern.com, which includes doing something about the forums. So if you like to use those (Paul, spambots) or might like to in the future (others) please read about what he’s considering and let him know what sounds best to you. Thanks everybody.

Hey everyone it’s Chris, or clubside, here to talk about some site issues. Thanks to competition and ever advancing march of technological progress I’m gonna be upgrading Vern’s hosting service as early as next week. The upgrade should reduce instances of slowness on the site and allow adding some features that were previously held back due to lack of computing resources.
At the same time we’ve come to a crossroads of sort in regard to the forums. Despite the push to add the feature a few years ago they don’t get much use and nowadays are overrun with spam posts that our basic comments spam service cannot handle. Why? Simple:Press.

(read the rest of this shit…)

Hey friends, why not browse the review archive?

Thursday, December 6th, 2012

I’m trying to decide if Clubside Chris is my Q, or my Lucius Fox. I would say he’s the janitor from DIE HARD 2, but he’s too high tech for that. And it wouldn’t be nice to say he’s Kevin Smith from DIE HARD 4.

Anyway he’s been striving the shit out of the excellence and is programming in his computers and everything and honestly I got no clue what he’s doing with most of this but he keeps coming up with great features for outlawvern.com. What he’s really been sweating over for a while is this database that creates new and better ways to browse the review archive. If you look above there’s a “Reviews” button you can click on that goes to a dropdown menu with the different options. You can look at all my reviews in traditional alphabetical order, you can look at them in chronological order by release date, you can flip through the fancy timeline version…

The options I’m really excited about are the ones that are sorted by category: all my DTV reviews in chronological order, all my slasher reviews. There’s a new one called “Icons” where you can access all my Nicolas Cages, all my Dolphs, stuff like that, with all the movie posters of the reviewed titles, in release order.

I love these because I’m jumping around watching and writing about all different movies and they’re slowly forming into this history, so I can look at them in context. I can look at the DTV list and see that the earliest one I’ve reviewed is VIDEO VIOLENCE from ’87 and the next is SILENT NIGHT, DEAD NIGHT 3 in ’89, so that encourages me to look into what else came out before and around that time and see what’s up. It takes these scattershot writings and forms them together into a body of research that I’m building for the betterment of mankind or whatever.

Anyway when you feel like reading some reviews please try these features out and let Chris know what you think or any suggestions you have for how it could be even better.

thanks everybody and thanks Chris

Test out the timeline for us

Tuesday, September 4th, 2012

Our ridiculously dedicated outlawvern.com programmer, Clubside Chris, has been working on a new way to browse my old reviews: the Timeline. You can access it through that link there or you can find it by clicking Home>All Reviews>Reviews (Timeline) in the menu bar at the top there. Check it out – it lets you flip through all the reviews in order by release date, so if you’re interested in a specific time period you can see how well I’ve covered it. I’m amazed to have anything this slick on here. It’s pretty cool.

It’s still a work in progress, but he has the reviews of ’99-’01 and ’12 sewn up. There are more than 500 reviews in there and Chris would appreciate some feedback on performance. So let him know in the comments here what you think and if you have any problems using it.

Meanwhile, Chris says he’s located 16 Ain’t It Cool reviews of mine that were missing from the archive. I had no idea. If you happen to remember any others that you read on there but could never find on here, please let us know.

Also I’d like to point out that at Home>All Reviews>DTV Reviews (Years) Chris has put my reviews of DTV movies in chronological order. I love it because it’s helping me to see the bigger picture of the history of DTV.

thanks as always to Chris and thanks to anybody who helps him out with feedback

New features: questions and suggestions

Friday, August 10th, 2012

Thanks to the great Clubside Chris, outlawvern.com proudly unveils two new features which I encourage you to try out by clicking in the bar above the post, below the stunning new logo.

1. Suggestions.

This is a thing some of you guys have requested, a way to suggest movies for me to review. It has a weird voting system where you get 10 votes per month to spread between however many suggestions you want. I’m not sure I understand it yet but I think I will once you ladies and gentlemen of the internet start messing with it.

Don’t think I’m gonna be constantly reviewing all of these, ’cause I follow my whims and try to find stuff nobody’s heard of. But I promise I’ll keep an eye on it and do some of the more popular ones or ones that catch my eye.

2. Questions?

This is a thing where you ask a question and other people answer it, and… to be honest I don’t totally understand. I know it’s related to that thing I come across during Google searches where idiots with cartoon avatars ask questions and get terrible advice from other idiots with cartoon avatars. But we’re gonna do a better job, hopefully, with our badass cinema related questions. I’m not sure. But I’m trying it out because Chris’s suggestion to try Twitter seemed stupid at first but turned out to be a good one.

Please try these out if you have a minute and we’ll see if they’re worth keeping.

new look

Tuesday, August 7th, 2012

Just in time for my 13ish year on the “internet” I have decided it’s time for a new look. This is mainly because as I get older my eyes are having a hard time reading the red/grey on black, and partly because a couple years ago a friend of Drew McWeeny wrote and told me he had a seizure while reading one of my reviews. I don’t want to be responsible for any major medical events. Also, I’m trying to be more professional as Christian Bale once suggested was a good thing to do and he is a good actor.

Please thank Clubside Chris for all his work creating this look based on my pain in the ass suggestions, plus the previous fake Geocities look, which will be available in the dropdown menu at the lower right for those who want to stick with it (it might need some fixing but will be operable soon).

Anyway, I hope people and eyeballs enjoy it. We will be trying out some new features too. Suggestions welcome but don’t be an ass.

thanks for reading, everybody

You wanted it, you got it: the outlawvern.com forum

Tuesday, May 29th, 2012

If you look over on the sidebar there is now a “forum” link. It takes you here. It is a forum where you can jibber jabber to your heart’s content.

I hope people will still comment on the specific reviews, but for any of the other topics you want to bring up such as Batman, wrestling, Batman, or obviously Batman, there’s now a more organized way to do it.

I don’t really know what I’m doing so I made up some initial topics there. Please let me know if there’s a better way to do it – other topics I should add, topics I should remove to make it work better, whatever.

Please give your ENORMOUS THANKS to Clubside Chris, who set this up for me and also transported the old potpourri threads into there so we could retain those for future civilizations to look back on.

Switching servers

Thursday, March 25th, 2010

computerThe outlawvern.com technical squad (Chris – not pictured) has determined that moving to a new server will help us in our goal of bringing unparalleled filmatistic analysis to the ladies and gentlemen of the internet. The switch is planned for 11:30 pm eastern time Friday night, so there will be some downtime then while it takes place.

No big deal, I just thought I would give a heads up so all the weird automated spammers will know to get their “this is a very insightful blog, I will be visiting again! cheap acne medication!” posts finished before then.

Thanks everybody.

The big question

Tuesday, April 14th, 2009

Half the fun of writing is all the emails I get, so I think it’s a good idea to finally catch up with modern computertational technology and have comments. That means I gotta transfer over to this “blog” format here, but I don’t want it to look the way it does now. Too slick. So I’m gonna try to figure out how to make it my own (looks hard).

Anyway here’s my biggest question: should I keep the dark background in honor of the crappy-even-for-1999 look I have always been so proud of, or should I lighten it up to make it easier on the eyes? That was a request I got from somebody long ago and I think it might be time to take the plunge but I wanted to run it by everybody first.

Also, any other general comments about changing the look for the first time in like 8 or 9 years. Is everybody emotionally prepared for a change like this?


Saturday, April 11th, 2009

Complete archive of the Geocities era version still available at https://outlawvern.com/classic/