Ghost Killer
If you know me you know I love those Baby Assassins, the adorable pair of professional killers from the movies BABY ASSASSINS, BABY ASSASSINS 2 and BABY ASSASSINS 3, as well as the tv series Baby Assassins Everyday, which I’m currently watching now that it’s on Home Box Office Maximum. (You could start there, if you’re curious.) The Babies are two hilarious young Japanese women who have murdered for a living their whole lives but otherwise are total sweethearts who enjoy soups, desserts, friendship, etc. It’s hard to explain, but they’re the best.
So I didn’t need convincing when I heard some film festival hype about GHOST KILLER and I looked it up and saw it was BABY-adjacent. It’s written by BABY writer/director Yugo Sakamoto, and directed by BABY action director Kensuke Sonomura. You may also know him from directing HYDRA and BAD CITY or from choreographing John Woo’s MANHUNT. He’s developed one of the most distinct and consistent action styles of the modern era. You can’t really go wrong with Sonomura, and for better or worse this has more violence than desserts. (read the rest of this shit…)
Sisu: Road to Revenge
SISU: ROAD TO REVENGE came out Friday. It’s a sequel to the 2022 film SISU but they didn’t put a #2 in the title, so some friends of mine saw the trailer and weren’t aware it was a sequel. I think that’s wise marketing – this is an old school standalone approach to a sequel where you wouldn’t even have to know there was another one to understand or appreciate the story. So yes, see this one first if you want to, you have my permission. But if you like either one of them I recommend watching the other.
The appeal of SISU, and now of the SISU movie series, is pretty straightforward. Aatami Korpi (Jorma Tommila, RARE EXPORTS: A CHRISTMAS TALE) is a particularly Finnish bad motherfucker, a rugged and scarred ex-commando who looks more like a farmer than an action star. Stubbornness is his super power; he’ll never give up or give in, so he goes to hell and back and then back to hell again and pretty much just gets dunked repeatedly in hell until he’s totally soaked in it but he keeps clawing his way out again and anybody who does anything to him along the way dies horribly at his hands. And one important thing is that he never says a damn word the whole time, because what is there to say other than you chose the wrong Laplander to fuck with? His deeds speak for themselves
The first movie would be a clever and well executed action/revenge movie in any era, but it happened to come out when it was particularly enjoyable to see some fascists get fucked up. It took place at the end of WWII, when a band of fleeing Nazi pillagers tried to steal the gold nuggets Aatami just found, and got elaborately, joyously slaughtered for it. In Chapter 4, “The Legend” we learned the backstory that he was a Finnish commando during the Winter War, when the murder of his family John-Wick-ed him into becoming a mythical “one-man death squad” known for killing over 300 Soviet soldiers. In SISU: ROAD TO REVENGE he will get a surprise opportunity to directly avenge his family while just trying to accomplish one task that he refuses to give up on. (read the rest of this shit…)
Christy (2025)
CHRISTY is a biopic of Christy Salters, once known as Christy Martin, a pioneer of women’s professional boxing, competing from 1989-2012. It’s a very effective movie that hits some of the pleasing notes you want out of a normal sports drama, plus the additional joys of watching a woman be tough and rowdy at a time when most of society demanded she be “ladylike.” And if you know any biographical details of Salters at all you will be able to imagine a few other ways it stands out from every other boxing movie.
It’s directed by David Michôd (ANIMAL KINGDOM, THE ROVER), written by Michôd and Mirrah Foulkes (JUDY AND PUNCH), story by Katherine Fugate (THE PRINCE & ME), but all the discussion has centered on its star, Sydney Sweeney (THE MARTIAL ARTS KID). It’s another acting achievement unlocked for her – she reportedly put on 30 pounds during 3+ months of fight training so she wouldn’t have to use a stunt double. To my ignorant eyes she looks good in the ring, first with no discipline, then an evolving style. And that doesn’t necessarily seem like the hardest part of the role. (read the rest of this shit…)
Red Sonja (2025)
Okay, I’m gonna be up front about this: RED SONJA (2025) is a movie that I kinda liked, but it took some effort. It’s an underdog movie, you kinda gotta be rooting for it to work, I don’t know if it’s gonna win over anybody standing there with their arms folded. But maybe I’m wrong. It has a sincerity to it. It doesn’t seem self conscious. That can go a long way.
It’s set in the land of Hyrkania during the Hyborian Age. When Sonja (Matilda Lutz from the excellent Coralie Fargeat movie REVENGE) was a child her village was raided and she fled. (Unlike in some of the ’80s barbarian movies we don’t have to specify what horrible things the raiders did.) Since then somehow she became a hell of a fighter and lives tribeless in the forest, searching for her people. (read the rest of this shit…)
Life of Crime / The Burnt Orange Heresy
Today I’m looking at a pair of crime movies adapted from books by two of my favorite authors. I almost said “recent crime movies” because you know how time is, but it turns out one is more than five years old and the other is more than ten. It’s just that I put them off forever because I was afraid I was going to hate them. It turns out they’re both pretty well made movies, but yeah, I don’t think they have the spark I’m looking for.
LIFE OF CRIME (2013) is the adaptation of Elmore Leonard’s The Switch, about the time Ordell Robbie (Yasiin Bey, 16 BLOCKS) and Louis Gara (John Hawkes, NIGHT OF THE SCARECROW) kidnapped a rich guy’s wife. These are of course the characters he later returned to in Rum Punch, which was turned into JACKIE BROWN, so this has the novelty/pressure of being a sort-of prequel to a crime movie classic from a modern master, which I think most of us agree is either the best or second best Leonard adaptation ever. Good luck, writer/director Daniel Schechter (SUPPORTING CHARACTERS) living up to that.
Obviously he didn’t knock it out of the park, or you would’ve heard about it. Though I’d say it’s more on point tonally and ‘70s-period-wise than the movie of FREAKY DEAKY, it’s overall less fun. But I guess I just like this kinda stuff enough that I found it somewhat interesting. (read the rest of this shit…)
Frankenstein (the 2025 Guillermo del Toro one)
I don’t say this lightly, but I think Guillermo del Toro’s FRANKENSTEIN might be up there pretty high among the top Frankensteins? Or at least it hits hard for me. It’s one of the more faithful adaptations of Mary Shelley’s 207-year-old novel Frankenstein: But If You Think About It It’s Almost Like a Modern Prometheus, but it’s reinterpreted enough to feel like pure, personal del Toro.
He uses the wraparound story of a Royal Danish Navy expedition to the North Pole that’s now stuck in the ice. The crew sees an explosion nearby and discovers injured Victor Frankenstein (Oscar Isaac, THE CARD COUNTER). Captain Anderson (Lars Mikkelsen, of the Copenhagen Mikkelsens) takes him on board to shelter him from The Creature (Jacob Elordi, THE MORTUARY COLLECTION), and this strange guest decides to be dramatic and tell his whole damn story from childhood to that very day. (read the rest of this shit…)
Predator: Badlands
At some point on this here internet I started seeing people refer to the alien species from the PREDATOR movies as “Yautja.” I sure never noticed anybody calling them that in the movies. Looking it up now I have learned it comes from a 1994 book called Aliens Vs Predator: Prey by Steve Perry and Stephani Perry*, which is a novelization of the original Aliens Vs Predator comics. Okay, so it seems the word has been around for a while, but still – Yautja mind if you think I’m gonna call those things anything other than Predators. That has always been my stance.
So I laughed when the very first thing on screen in the new movie PREDATOR: BADLANDS was the word “Yautja.” They use the word dozens of times, conservatively. So it’s official now – they’re Yautja, from the planet Yautja Prime. But in this review they’re Predators. (read the rest of this shit…)
Basket Case 3
BASKET CASE 3 (advertised with the subtitle THE PROGENY, but that’s not on the actual credits) came a year after part 2 and continues in a similar vein. Once again, they knew exactly which “previously on” footage would make an incredible opening (Belial doggystyling Eve).
We’re still at Grannie Ruth’s place. She re-separated the twins after Duane’s little self-surgery, and luckily she has a padded cell and straitjacket for him. (Where does she get the money for this stuff? Is she eligible for grants?) Duane has been spaced out for months, giving Grannie an excuse to straight up tell him/us what’s going on now: Belial has gotten Eve pregnant, and “no one’s exactly sure what will come out of her,” so they’re all getting on a school bus for a road trip to Georgia, because some guy named Uncle Hal (Dan Biggers, MIDNIGHT IN THE GARDEN OF GOOD AND EVIL) is “the only doctor I’d trust with a delicate case like this.” (read the rest of this shit…)
Basket Case 2
You know from the jump that BASKET CASE 2 (1990) is gonna have a little more money behind it than the first one, because it has both Troma and Shapiro Glickenhaus credits. That’s power right there. For those just joining it starts with footage from the end of part 1, with poor Duane and his murderous, surgically separated lump brother Belial hanging off a hotel sign, falling and splattering in front of screaming New Yorkers. We also get a news report from Times Square, describing Belial as “a small, grotesque monstrosity” and a “small, twisted deformity whose most startling feature is an unnervingly human face” and a “strange little being” that “might actually be human.”
An old lady, Grannie Ruth (Annie Ross, PUMP UP THE VOLUME), and her adult granddaughter Susan (Heather Rattray, “White House Press Conference Reporter [uncredited],” DEEP IMPACT) flip through the channels watching all the coverage, and seem to know who the Bradleys are, and they head to the hospital to free them. By that time though the boys have already escaped on their own and added to their crime spree. (Henenlotter pulls a HALLOWEEN II by having hospital staff hitting on each other before becoming victims.)
Basket Case
BASKET CASE (1982) is one of those cult movies everybody knew about in the ‘80s and ‘90s. It stayed alive by having a couple sequels and being in video stores or being mentioned often in Fangoria. Now it’s on 4K disc and on Shudder with credits saying it was restored by the Museum of Modern Art. But it was genuinely a creature of the grindhouses, a $35,000 exploitation movie conceived in Times Square by twentysomething New Yorker Frank Henenlotter, written on napkins at Nathan’s Famous, and shot in 16mm, partly in front of XXX theaters on 42nd Street. The producer was a hospital administrator whose only other films are Henenlotter’s and two yoga videos.
It opens with a mysterious murder at a house out in Glen Falls, before cutting to Times Square and a strange young man named Duane Bradley (Kevin VanHentenryck), who carries a large wicker basket. He checks into a shitty hotel, the kind where the v-neck undershirt-wearing clerk asks, “Couple of hours, couple of years, what? Give me a hint.” It’s twenty dollars a night up front and the lobby is crowded with residents gossiping about the death of somebody named “Dirty Lou.” (read the rest of this shit…)
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