Coyote vs. Acme
Itâs not that high of praise to say COYOTE VS. ACME is the best Looney Tunes movie. So how about the only Looney Tunes movie they should make?
I mean I think SPACE JAM is kind of funny, they’re not all DAFFY DUCK’S MOVIE: FANTASY ISLAND, but these characters were made for shorts. The feature length HOW THE EARTH BLEW UP: A LOONEY TUNES MOVIE really couldn’t match the energy of the brilliant show by the same people, and it’s even worse when they pretend all these characters are friends and have them standing around together like The Muppets. But this new one is different. Instead of setting out to come up with a new Bugs Bunny movie or whatever it comes from a 1990 New Yorker article by Ian Frazier about what would happen if Wile E. Coyote tried to sue the Acme Corporation over all the defective products he’s bought from them.
It’s a rock solid concept combining the joke conventions of the Road Runner cartoons with the format of a court room thriller, or an ERIN BROCKOVICH type whistleblower drama. I knew the idea going in but I still got such a good, deep laugh from the way itâs laid out: Wile E. (as everyone calls him), fresh from another day of catastrophically failing to catch the Road Runner using various contraptions, returns to his cave, where an ad on the TV catches his attention. The questionable attorney Kevin Avery (Will Forte, LIFE OF CRIME), who specializes in cartoon law, is asking if youâve ever experienced things like pushing a detonator but the detonator blows up, or pulling a ripcord and only silverware comes out – things we see in flashes of classic Wile E. Coyote shorts. If so, you could be entitled to compensation.
The trouble is Kevin isnât ready for a case like Wile E.’s. He believes he can quickly settle for $300 over faulty rocket skates, but Wile E. – who communicates through gestures and âa limited numberâ of signs – has a literal mountain of other failed Acme products. When, to Kevinâs horror, the petition goes to Acmeâs intimidating head counsel Buddy Crane (John Cena, 12 ROUNDS), he’s offered what would be his biggest settlement ever… but Wile E. literally tears it up and sets it on fire. (read the rest of this shit…)
Teenage Sex and Death at Camp Miasma
TEENAGE SEX AND DEATH AT CAMP MIASMA is the third movie from writer/director Jane Schoenbrun. I havenât seen WEâRE ALL GOING TO THE WORLDâS FAIR (2021), but I did see I SAW THE TV GLOW (2024), which was released by A24 to great acclaim and adulation.
I confess I didnât get that one. Didnât even feel qualified to review it. I love its look, and I was impressed by its creation of a â90s tv show called The Pink Opaque that its characters are obsessed with. Itâs like the show Videodrome would make in response to the popularity of Buffy the Vampire Slayer. But I struggled with watching Justice Smith, who was so charismatic on The Get Down, play such a charmless, passive lead. Iâve read thatâs because itâs a trans allegory and the character is repressed, and thatâs another thing: there is no way on earth that I would know this was a trans allegory without reading about it. Itâs interesting to read about, and itâs a movie that means so much to so many (including plenty of cis people I know), but I simply canât decode it. I can appreciate the vibes, but in that case it wasnât enough.
CAMP MIASMA is another trans allegory, but itâs more on my frequency. Maybe some of the very specialized things itâs about are also more universal, or maybe itâs just that itâs funnier. But it sure doesnât hurt that itâs about slasher movies. Up and coming young indie director Kris Williams (Hannah Einbinder, Hacks) has been hired to reboot a long-running, now moribund summer camp slasher series called CAMP MIASMA. The opening credits have a very detailed montage of franchise history, with 14 movies that mostly line up with the FRIDAY THE 13TH sequels, except thereâs a Christmas one and an ARMY OF DARKNESS one and I think a HALLOWEEN 6 thorn cult reference. The most important inspiration, though, is SLEEPAWAY CAMP, with the killerâs psychosis attributed to being raised as both a boy and a girl. Kris says they hired her, a known lesbian, in a cynical attempt to launder the problematicness out of the i.p. (read the rest of this shit…)
Tuner
TUNER is a pretty simple and well-constructed little crime movie, about a quiet, unassuming protagonist with very specific talents, vulnerabilities and needs. It feels like it couldâve come from some brilliant but under-the-radar paperback, a quick but satisfying read. One thing that makes it distinct is that itâs also a romance – more of a romance than a crime movie, arguably – and it managed to get me more invested in the relationship than the stealing. And feel okay about that.
Niki (Leo Woodall, TONY) is a young piano tuner, the apprentice of Harry Horowitz (Dustin Hoffman, MEGALOPOLIS), who was friends with his late father, and treats him like a beloved nephew. When Harryâs not talking Nikiâs ear off about the old days heâs telling everybody what a brilliant musician Niki used to be. Before he stopped, you know. Over time we learn that the devices in Nikiâs ears are not hearing aids, theyâre to protect him from loud noises, because heâs developed hyperacusis, a condition that makes him very sensitive to sounds. Years of painful exposure therapy helped him to listen to piano again, and he still has perfect pitch. But he gave up on playing, seemingly content in this humble life of being condescended to by the rich people who still own pianos, but at least hanging out with this goofy old man he loves. (read the rest of this shit…)
Kingpin
July 26, 1996
You know I love THE CABLE GUY, and thereâs another favorite coming up, but to me thereâs no doubt that KINGPIN is the comedy of 1996. In fact, I think itâs somewhere in my personal top ten comedies of all time, somewhere beneath PEE-WEEâS BIG ADVENTURE, THE BLUES BROTHERS, THE BIG LEBOWSKI and TALLADEGA NIGHTS.
Itâs the second film from Peter & Bobby Farrelly (now a team directing a script by Golden Girls writers Barry Fanaro & Mort Nathan), and definitely my favorite of theirs. I think of them as a little cheesy now, but the filmmaking in this one is strong, and thatâs part of why it works. Itâs stuffed with broad, rapid fire jokes, but it looks and feels like A Real Movie. Itâs way funnier and sillier than the average comedy, but at the end when it acts like I care about the characters mending their relationships and getting what they want, itâs not being presumptuous. I really do! Itâs a very precise tone that I rarely see pulled off this successfully.
I gotta give some credit to cinematographer Mark Irwin (SCANNERS, NIGHT SCHOOL, THE PROTECTOR, THE BLOB) and also to costume designer Mary Zophres (PCU), who did FARGO the same year and later returned to bowling wear for THE BIG LEBOWSKI. She creates such a world out of polyester and dagger collars, riding the exact line between sort of cool â70s swagger and completely out of touch loser. This is a movie where you can have a combover that almost counts as a separate character, yet feel confident putting Elvis Presley or Evel Knievel style showmanship in your outfit.
The Adventures of Pinocchio / Manny & Lo
July 26, 1996
Today in Slam Evil Summer catch-up I have a double feature of films released on the same day, both about wayward youth traveling around having adventures, getting into trouble, and finding parental figures. The first of these youths is a wooden puppet voiced by Jonathan Taylor Thomas (THE LION KING).
I did see THE ADVENTURES OF PINOCCHIO at the time, and vaguely remembered it having a good puppet (by Jim Henson Creature Shop), an animated cricket, Udo Kier as the bad guy, and especially (since I was still cleaning theaters) two original Stevie Wonder songs on the end credits (âKiss Lonely Good-Byeâ and âHold On To Your Dream,â and he also provided an instrumental called âPinocchioâs Evolutionâ). I think I found it watchable enough. I always like animatronics and seeing different takes on Pinocchio, so I was down to watch it again.
Itâs the fourth film from âBillie Jeanâ video director Steve Barron, following ELECTRIC DREAMS, TEENAGE MUTANT NINJA TURTLES and CONEHEADS – a master of movies with elaborate special effects that make them seem sort of good without being very actually good. In my opinion. It makes sense that this is from New Line Cinema. Itâs a pretty New Line Cinema movie. (read the rest of this shit…)
Joe’s Apartment
July 26, 1996
I talked earlier in this series about HARRIET THE SPY and how it was a Nickelodeon production that sort of had its roots in an interstitial-turned-special-turned show made by quirky, creative people with vision. A major cable network farm-teaming artists and giving them opportunities. Now we have JOEâS APARTMENT, the first theatrical film from Nickâs older-sister network MTV, expanded from a CableACE Award-winning 2-minute short theyâd used as filler. Writer/director John Payson had worked on the animated intros to MTV shows including Remote Control, The Big Picture and Just Say Julie, plus been a producer on Liquid Television and the Henry Selick short Slow Bob in the Lower Dimensions. Thatâs great work and an incredibly cool world to come out of, but does it translate to knowing how to write and direct a mostly live action feature film?
In this case no. Maybe yes in other cases, I donât know.
In the feature version the titular Joe is played by Jerry OâConnell (STAND BY ME) in only his fifth movie, even including âuncredited kid at beachâ in POLICE ACADEMY 5: ASSIGNMENT MIAMI BEACH. Heâs a hapless dork who takes the bus from Iowa to New York City and has kind of the âLiving For the Cityâ experience.Thereâs a joke that heâs narrating his trip as a letter to his mother but he gets interrupted by three different muggings.
The movie is premised not only on the cityâs reputation as a crime-ridden hellscape, but also as a refuge for art weirdos thanks to rent control. Joe meets a guy named Walter Shit (Randee of the Redwoods himself, Jim Turner) of the band Shit by being the only person to check on him laying on the sidewalk in a pool of blood (as an art project). Itâs Walter who finds Joe the titular apartment because they happen to be walking by when an old lady is thrown to her death out of her window and Walter pushes Joe to pretend heâs her son. (read the rest of this shit…)
A Time to Kill
July 24, 1996
A TIME TO KILL is a court room drama, but it was in the top ten of the domestic box office for 1996. It made more than some noisier movies like ERASER, THE HUNCHBACK OF NOTRE DAME, BROKEN ARROW, and EXECUTIVE DECISION. That used to be a thing that could happen. Of course, it was kind a name brand, because it came from the first book by John Grisham, and there had already been movies of THE FIRM (1993), THE PELICAN BRIEF (1993) and THE CLIENT (1994). And this one came from the same director and writer as THE CLIENT, Joel Schumacher and Akiva Goldsman. (They sandwiched this between BATMAN FOREVER and BATMAN & ROBIN.)
I remember all the hype about Schumacher choosing the virtually unknown Matthew McConaughey for the lead role of Mississippi attorney Jake Brigance. The actor had made an impression in DAZED AND CONFUSED, and had recently been in LONE STAR, but most people had never heard of him, and this was his first lead role. Schumacher was talking him up as the next big thing, and it worked! Soon after this he did CONTACT and AMISTAD. Watching it now it doesnât seem like that flashy of a role, it just seems like McConaughey, but I guess it was more exciting when it was new. He definitely stands out in the movie by being Texan and not doing an outrageous southern accent like Kevin Spacey and Donald Sutherland do. (read the rest of this shit…)
Faces of Death (2026)
I know weâre supposed to be cynical about i.p. and remakes and what not, but I am a child of Freddy, so to my mind franchising has always been one of the elements of horror. It doesnât have to be the main one, it could be low on the totem pole, like beatboxing in hip hop. But itâs always gonna have some appeal to me when they do it right.
Is FACES OF DEATH even horror, though? I guess it is now. The 2026 film of that title is one of the more inventive brand refreshes, or whatever you want to call it. Itâs not exactly a remake of the most notorious title in home video history, because the original purported to be a documentary, a sort of video essay/mondo film by pathologist Francis B. Gröss (actor Michael Carr). He narrates a collection of gruesome videos involving death: an alligator attack, a police shootout, a corpse washed up on a beach, an execution, people eating monkey brains, fun stuff like that.
Like any child in the â80s I heard legends of FACES OF DEATH and took everybodyâs word for it that it was the real deal. Then in high school I took part in this group, not a debate club, mostly a social activity, but we got together to discuss/argue different topics, for example whether or not executions should be televised. Itâs one of those insane questions people used to pretend was important to consider. Would it be a deterrent to criminals? Would it jolt society into rethinking capital punishment? And somebody said well, if weâre going to consider it then we should really understand what it means. So we watched the electric chair scene from FACES OF DEATH. (read the rest of this shit…)
Spider-Man: Brand New Day / The Punisher: One Last Kill
Thereâs a scene in SPIDER-MAN: BRAND NEW DAY where Peter Parker (Tom Holland, THE ODYSSEY) sees his high school best friend Ned (Jacob Batalon, THE WRECKING CREW) at the bodega. Ned doesnât remember him due to a spell Dr. Strange had to do to save the world from multi-dimensional doom (long story, and I donât remember it), so Peter just watches as he tells the clerk to never let him buy a certain type of energy shot that he’s addicted to. Then he asks to buy one last bottle. Then two.
Yeah, thatâs sorta like the MCU these days. We all say weâre over it, then this movie has the biggest opening weekend of all time. It sure doesn’t give me the same kick it once did, but maybe my body craves an approximation, and this will do for now.
I wouldnât go to bat for BRAND NEW DAY. Itâs definitely more of the MCU episodic dilly-dallying and not the compact, standalone cinematic storytelling that used to be the goal. Seems like a lost art in the days of late stage comic book movie – is that why they gave up on doing a new BLADE? But this one has plenty that works, particularly in Peterâs relationships with MJ (Zendaya, THE ODYSSEY) and Frank Punisher (Jon Bernthal, THE ODYSSEY). The love story with MJ has been built up over three previous movies, while his even knowing The Punisher happened (I believe) off screen between movies. But Peter will long for his lost love until they meet again, and he’ll butt heads with his street vigilantism rival until theyâre a mismatched buddy pair. One of those classic teams, the friendly neighborhood Spider-Man and the severely traumatized mass murdering gun and bomb freak who hides out in a squalid industrial barge. (read the rest of this shit…)
Skyscraper (1996)
July 24, 1996
SKYSCRAPER is a DTV movie that nobody wouldâve missed if I’d skipped it in this retrospective. But itâs DIE HARD in a building, starring Anna Nicole Smith, and I hadnât seen it, so I thought I felt I had a responsibility.
Smith had been Playboy Playmate of the Year in 1993, but most of us knew about her because in 1994 she married 89-year-old petroleum billionaire J. Howard Marshall, who died the following year. She wasnât named in his will and had to go all the way to the Supreme Court failing to get the half of the estate she said heâd promised her, but the world had opinions about what was going on there. (A deeper and truer love than most will ever know.)
Smith got into movies with bit parts in THE HUDSUCKER PROXY and NAKED GUN 33 1/3 (both 1994), which would remain the jewels of her filmography. But SKYSCRAPER wasnât her first starring role, or even her first action role – PM Entertainment and director Raymond Martino had already used her in TO THE LIMIT (1995). Maybe thatâs why she seems a little more comfortable in this role than I expected. Just a little, though. (read the rest of this shit…)
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