"I'll just get my gear."

Vern has read Stallone’s The Expendables


Usually I don’t write much about a movie before it’s made, because I prefer movies that exist. Every once in a while somebody sends me a script like LIVE FREE OR DIE HARD or RAMBO, but I usually ignore them. I would rather watch the finished movie and not know what the original plan was. And to be honest I’m not sure how qualified I am to tell you about the meal based on the recipe. But THE EXPENDABLES – a Sylvester Stallone action ensemble picture where he will write, direct and then star alongside Jet Li, Jason Statham, Dolph Lundgren, Forest Whitaker and Randy Couture – is a big fuckin deal among those of us who love the action cinema of the ’80s and ’90s. We can’t help but dream about this one like nerds once dreamed of Star Wars prequels or new outfits for their limited edition Serenity dolls so they can act out what would’ve happened in the second season. So when Stallone’s script fell into my lap this time I couldn’t resist.

By the way I would like to take a moment to welcome A.B. King to the talkback. Welcome, A.B.

The ragtag team of the title are a group of elite mercenary badasses – at one point described as “totally prepared to die in a blaze of glory” – hired to take out a dictator in the South American country of Corza. I do not have an opinion on what’s going on in Corza because I believe it is a fictional country, but if in fact they’re real I’m against them. They got all kinds of human rights violations and shit. No good.

Of course, the mission is not necessarily what it seems, there may or may not be some doublecrosses and deceits, etc.

The Expendables never come out and refer to themselves as The Expendables, but they do sport tattoos with an Expendables logo. Their lifestyle is rough but they have a dark sense of humor about it. The leader of the Expendables, Barney (played by Stallone I assume) has a good way of describing their purpose: “We remove those hard to get at stains.” They try to do the right thing, but the movie itself seems sort of uncomfortable with the idea of soldiers of fortune and with puppet dictators and CIA tampering in other countries. It’s a fun action movie but not some jingoistic imperialist deal like I think some people assume.

While I’m sure Stallone did some research about how these things work in the War On Terror era, happily this is not one of these Greengrassian modern action movies that tries to seem completely reality based. This is a movie where a team of 5 can take on an army of 100, where armed men still sometimes engage in martial arts and fisticuffs, where many, many things blow up, where occasionally a character might have something sarcastic to say during combat. In other words, a good old fashioned action movie. An endangered species.

Barney is a very different character from Rambo. For one thing, his name is Barney. For another he talks in more than one sentence sometimes. He’s almost a father figure to the team and finds himself always listening to other people’s problems and trying to be supportive. The other character who gets the most screen time is the lovelorn Lee Christmas. He’s supposed to be American but calls a guy “mate” at one point, which means he’s played by Jason Statham. There’s also Kong Kao, who will be played by Jet Li. He does alot of kicking, but is much more of a supporting character than Li usually plays. I do think it’s a pretty good character for Li, though, because he gets some funny lines. He’s an unhappy smartass, not the usual Li type of character.

(Of course for all I know Stallone is playing the Chinese martial arts expert Kong Kao and Li is playing the weathered veteran mercenary Barney Ross. I don’t want to make any assumptions here.)

Those are the marquee names, but the actor I was happiest to see cast was Dolph Lundgren. Obviously it’s cool to see the Balboa/Drago rematch (or reteam), but I’m excited more because I think Lundgren deserves to be on the big screen again. The DTV pictures he’s been directing and starring in are surprisingly watchable, and physically he’s held up better than almost any of the ’80s and ’90s action stars. He still has a super hero physique with his towering height and square jaw, but looks more interesting with some wrinkles on his face.

Unfortunately, if Dolph is playing who I think he is then he’s only in a couple scenes. It’s a small but crucial role as an Expendable named Gunnar who comes into conflict with Kong. Harry has already reported that Lundgren will be fighting Li in the movie, so I will reveal that they get to fight twice. Let’s be honest, Li has alot to prove after being defeated onscreen by god damn Brendan Fraser in THE MUMMY TOMB OF THE DRAGON EMPEROR A FILM BY ROB COHEN. I mean, how the fuck does that work? That is unacceptable. So for him to face a guy who’s actually a martial arts champion and nearly a foot taller than he is will be good for Li’s rep. Also Dolph has a degree in chemical engineering, not sure if that is relevant.

We also know that Forest Ghost Dog Whitaker is in the movie. He plays Sands, a CIA agent tracking the Expendables. The Hollywood Reporter described the character as “devious” but in this draft at least he seems well-meaning. The same can’t be said for the CIA character they’re allegedly trying to get Sandra Bullock to play – she would be more like the bitch she plays at the beginning of CRASH and less like at the end when she’s cured of racism because she fell down and broke her ass. Harry also reported that UFC fighter Randy Couture (seen in SCORPION KING 2 and more importantly REDBELT) would be in the movie – I’m guessing he’s Paine, an American operative working for the dictator. If so it’s a generic henchman role that will require little acting ability, but at least he’ll get to fight Stallone.

There are also Expendables whose casting has not been revealed as far as I know. There’s Richard, who is the gay Expendable. It’s a plot point that he’s gay, but they don’t make any dumb jokes about it, he’s just a member of the team. I’m proud of Stallone for that one. On the other hand, the black Expendable isn’t much more than a benign Black Dude stereotype. He doesn’t get enough characterization, but on the positive side he owns a restaurant, is zealous about tacos and has a name even more cartoonish than Lee Christmas: his name is Hale Caesar. I approve of that.

(Have you ever met anybody with the last names Christmas or Caesar? I don’t think I have yet.)

The story is pretty standard, but if the movie works it will be partly because of the odd little touches here and there. I like that Barney is kind of a goofy old dude and doesn’t try to be up to date at all. We’re used to seeing Statham drive around in fancy brand new cars in his movies, in this one he’ll be in the passenger seat of Barney’s ’56 Ford F-100 pickup truck. I don’t think it specifies if the thing is restored or not, but I like to picture it as a real junker. You can’t say Barney’s poor though, because he owns a plane. When the guy hiring them asks if he has children Barney says, “I have a seaplane.” He’s pretty proud of that thing.

I have no idea if this is the final draft, but most of the characters are pretty lightly sketched. On the page I wouldn’t say they seem like iconic action movie characters that we’re all gonna remember, but hopefully the cast can bring something more to them. Like I said, it’s a recipe. You’d hope Forest Whitaker could put a little spice on his role, for example.

Stallone does a good job of mixing up the location – they travel between the US, Mexico and Corza, which should keep it visually interesting. The action scenes, as written, are pretty good. There is variety, with action at sea, in a plane, in trucks, with guns, knives, feet, forearms, one-on-one and in a mob. My biggest hope for the movie is that the second Dolph vs. Jet fight will be much longer than what Stallone wrote down. As written it’s way too brief. Please Stallone, don’t skimp on that one. (Dolph gotta eat? I never did understand that “gotta eat” thing you guys like to write.)

Fortunately an action scene is often gonna be shot totally different than scripted. For the climactic “extraordinary battle scene” Stallone doesn’t even bother to script it, he just writes:


Maybe you can take Stallone at his word on that, or maybe he just wanted to figure it out later. In the screenplay Barney turns out to have a few tricks up his sleeve that I didn’t expect, so maybe Stallone does too. We’ll see.

I wouldn’t say THE EXPENDABLES is a great script necessarily, but it definitely has potential. He’s got a good backbone that now needs some charismatic performances and well-executed action sequences on top. We know it has a good cast and that the action in RAMBO was pretty good. So I think this has a good shot. I’m still excited.

In other words, “THE EXPENDABLES is a keeper!” –The Ain’t It Cool News

thanks fellas,


p.s. Seriously, could somebody explain that “gotta eat” joke to me? Stallone’s character says it in the script and I feel left out

p.p.s. Did you know there’s a band called Balboa who only play covers of songs from ROCKY movies? BalboaBand.Com

Originally posted at Ain’t-It-Cool-News: http://www.aintitcool.com/node/39600

View the archived Ain’t-It-Cool-News Talkback

  • Dec. 28, 2008, 6:22 p.m. CST


    by timmer33


  • Dec. 28, 2008, 6:28 p.m. CST


    by Muldoon

    sounds like itll do quite well

  • Dec. 28, 2008, 6:29 p.m. CST

    gotta eat

    by maluquiro

    it was from some review a while ago about a movie. i don’t remember, but basically actors do crap films because they ‘gotta eat’.

  • Dec. 28, 2008, 6:30 p.m. CST

    Frankly, I can’t wait.

    by palimpsest

    I’ll have to wait, though, what with the linear nature of time and all that. But even so. The idea of Stallone leading a badass band of assorted badasses to take down a comical Central American piece of all-round nastiness works wonder for my Action Gland. Let’s hope Arnie has the fine sense to do a walk-on cameo. One question, Vern, and one question crucial to the script and the potential movie thereof; what’s the baddie like, and any ideal casting ideas?

  • Dec. 28, 2008, 6:30 p.m. CST

    Why don’t they call out Stallone like they did with Ford?

    by I Dunno

    Stallone’s only a few years younger than Ford and his action is a lot more physically demanding. But you don’t see lame parody titles for Stallone movies.

  • Dec. 28, 2008, 6:30 p.m. CST

    “a Sylvester Stallone action ensemble picture

    by mode_7

    where he will write, direct and then star alongside Jet Li, Jason Statham, Dolph Lundgren, Forest Whitaker and Randy Couture” is all I need to know. Sign me the fuck up.

  • Dec. 28, 2008, 6:33 p.m. CST


    by Prossor

    Barney Rubble, Barney the Dinosaur, Barney Gumble, Barney Rambo. i hope there ar ejokes about that.

  • Dec. 28, 2008, 6:35 p.m. CST

    Barney Miller

    by palimpsest

    That’s all I got.

  • Dec. 28, 2008, 6:41 p.m. CST

    Call an A.P.B. on A.B.!! Where you at, Reyes?

    by YackBacker

    Vern, you glorious inexpendable bastard, good work. There are certain decisions you don’t need to fret over in life (“Do I continue to eat cookies?”, “Is Rita Hayworth arousing, depsite her being dead?”). Luckily the decision to see THE EXPENDABLES is one of those choices that I have an answer to already. I can’t wait to see this show.

  • Dec. 28, 2008, 6:46 p.m. CST


    by mr teaspoon


  • Dec. 28, 2008, 6:47 p.m. CST

    Maybe Stallone should cast Seagal

    by palimpsest

    And get him to slap Big Steve into his OUT FOR JUSTICE peak condition.

  • Dec. 28, 2008, 6:51 p.m. CST

    I’m suprised Stallone even bothered to write a script

    by mode_7

    All he needed to do was write the names of those actors on a piece of cardboard with a message saying “seriously guys, just hand over $50 million. It’ll be cool I swear” and he’d have got an instant greenlight. Even movie execs ain’t dumb enough to refuse.

  • Dec. 28, 2008, 6:53 p.m. CST

    (Have you ever met anybody—

    by seppukudkurosawa

    with the last names Christmas or Caesar? I don’t think I have yet.)

    I once knew this guy, I think he was a mobster or something, who went by the name Black Caesar. Then again, my memory ain’t what it used to be, he could very well have been a character in a movie.

  • Dec. 28, 2008, 6:55 p.m. CST

    I know someone who has a cool name

    by Sam_Keith_Wannabe

    Christian Storm. Sounds more like a weatherman but he’s a huge dude.

  • Dec. 28, 2008, 6:55 p.m. CST

    when is MUSA DAGH?

    by hyeguy

    I thought Stallone was working on an adaptation of “Forty Days of Musa Dagh” by Franz Werfel.

  • Dec. 28, 2008, 6:56 p.m. CST

    Apollo Creed as Hale Caesar

    by hyeguy


  • Dec. 28, 2008, 6:57 p.m. CST

    Dolph for THOR!

    by TheNorthlander


  • Dec. 28, 2008, 6:59 p.m. CST

    One of my best friends is called Garry Barlow

    by mode_7

    That’s pretty funny if you live in the UK. Feel free to disregard this comment if you live elsewhere.

  • Dec. 28, 2008, 6:59 p.m. CST

    Also, what’s with the creaming over A.B. King?

    by seppukudkurosawa

    He’s mentioned in every Sly-related article, but he blew his question in the 10 Questions a Day column, and he’s not gotten into any huge barnies in the talkback lately… This is your last chance, AB. If you don’t knock our socks off with some epic Stallone fawning for the ages, we’ll have to coronate a new A.B. King.

  • Dec. 28, 2008, 7:01 p.m. CST

    Actors who should be involved…

    by palimpsest

    Powers Boothe, James Woods, Brian ‘The Boz’ Bosworth, Lance Henriksen, William Forsythe, Paddy Considine, Robert Patrick, Jeanette Goldstein, Sho Kosugi, Jackie Fucking Chan, Kurt Russell for starters.

  • Dec. 28, 2008, 7:02 p.m. CST

    The black expendable, the asian, the gay,

    by I Dunno

    the aussie, the old….where’s the Indian? The Eskimo with the harpoon?

  • Dec. 28, 2008, 7:06 p.m. CST


    by mode_7

    You can’t mention Powers Boothe in a list like that without also including Ian “throatcutter” McShane, thems the rules, man.

  • Dec. 28, 2008, 7:07 p.m. CST

    Porn stars have cool names.

    by mrfan

  • Dec. 28, 2008, 7:08 p.m. CST


    by Gwai Lo

    I can’t believe you forgot Bill Duke.

  • Dec. 28, 2008, 7:09 p.m. CST

    And fuck me I hope that “gotta eat” line stays!!!

    by seppukudkurosawa

    Vindication at last! Soon Wes Anderson will have a line about Bill Murray having a beer and cheeting on his wife; Keira Knightley will be referred to as a tomboy beanpole onscreen, and Danny Glover will win an Oscar in his harrowing portrayal of a man suffering from testicular torsion, who decides to cut off his package altogether (featuring M.A.S.H.-like scenes of dickblood all over the place).

  • Dec. 28, 2008, 7:12 p.m. CST

    Danny Glover offered role in Teeth 2

    by Gwai Lo

  • Dec. 28, 2008, 7:13 p.m. CST

    Someone remind me

    by Gwai Lo

    What the “has a beer and cheets on his wife” is from again. A review if I recall? I always laugh when I see it but I can’t remember the original context of the line.

  • Dec. 28, 2008, 7:15 p.m. CST

    Gotta Eat Joke GOTTA EAT!

    by Kizeesh

    is that a meta-comment?

  • Dec. 28, 2008, 7:15 p.m. CST

    I always thought…

    by mode_7

    the “has a beer and cheats on his wife” thing was something to do with Jim Gorden from batman, I’ve no idea why though.

  • Dec. 28, 2008, 7:19 p.m. CST

    Oh right

    by Gwai Lo

    Wasn’t it some outraged script review of Aronofsky’s Batman?

  • Dec. 28, 2008, 7:23 p.m. CST

    Gwai Lo

    by palimpsest

    I stand humble before you.

  • Dec. 28, 2008, 7:32 p.m. CST

    There’s a Gotta Eat Joke??????

    by Turd Furgeson

    Fuck I love Stallone!!!! Has any other movie star been more openly supportive of this website and the people who freequent it than him?? Fuck that guy is cool..

  • Dec. 28, 2008, 7:40 p.m. CST

    Vern, you should be IN The Expendables!

    by IAmMrMonkey!

    You’re a hardened man. You’ve done time and shit. I have no idea what you look like but it’s something like Danny Treejo in my eyes. Get your ass in the casting room!

  • Dec. 28, 2008, 7:49 p.m. CST


    by YackBacker


  • Dec. 28, 2008, 7:51 p.m. CST

    Beer, cheats on his wife, brother

    by krullboyisback

    Where did the guy go that always included Hulk Hoganisms on every talkback?

  • Dec. 28, 2008, 7:52 p.m. CST


    by ABking

    I believe heaven is on earth…first we got ROCKY BALBOA back in 2006…then we got one of the best action movies ever with RAMBO in 2008…and NOW!!!!!!!!!!! Stallone has written an action epic with an all action star cast. It wasn’t Jerry Bruckheimer or Joel Silver who thought of this idea…it was STALLONE! KUDOS! Sly is on a roll and after reading VERNS script review…this movie is gonna own. Maybe this will be Sly’s new franchise after he wraps up RAMBO with the fifth RAMBO MOVIE!

  • Dec. 28, 2008, 7:52 p.m. CST

    If “gotta eat” stays, then “flames on optimus prime”

    by krullboyisback

    must be added to Transformers 2, but in this case, Shia really is envisioning the tits of Megan Fox with fire-like power pasties glued to her magnificent boobage

  • Dec. 28, 2008, 7:54 p.m. CST

    Expendables also MUST have Van Damme, Billy Drago

    by krullboyisback

    Tonya Roberts, and Fred Willard reprising his ground breaking “Remo Williams” role

  • Dec. 28, 2008, 7:54 p.m. CST

    How about TBer “jesuschrist” who kept saying “will own your ass!

    by YackBacker

    I remember when George Takei came out of the closet, jesuschrist posted something like “George Takei is your ass landlord! Rent’s due, bitches!” Hehehe, still cracks me up.

  • Dec. 28, 2008, 7:59 p.m. CST

    Yackbacker the George Takei Line

    by Xiphos_2

    is, I believe, “George Takei owns your ass and the rent’s due bitch!”

  • Dec. 28, 2008, 8 p.m. CST

    Yackbacker, was her the guys that said

    by krullboyisback

    Episode III will own your ass two years after it was released? Or how about Chicken George VII?

  • Dec. 28, 2008, 8 p.m. CST

    We all know what must be done.

    by mode_7

    Stallone must damn Michael Bay. Some way, somehow… There’s just gotta be a way to work it in there.

  • Dec. 28, 2008, 8:01 p.m. CST

    Stallone must also include “sitting next to Kurt Russell”

    by krullboyisback

    at the Death Proof premier; that “AICN”ism didn’t die for a long, long time

  • Dec. 28, 2008, 8:03 p.m. CST

    Stallone must also comment on “chocolate covered pussy juice”

    by krullboyisback

  • Dec. 28, 2008, 8:06 p.m. CST

    Thanks, Xiphos_2

    by YackBacker

    These characters are pretty memorable. And krullbouisback, the rumor on Chicken George VII is that he’s really HEADGEEK incognito. Not sure if its true, but he does write rambling obits in the TBs.

  • Dec. 28, 2008, 8:06 p.m. CST

    Dolph Lundgren = Scientist

    by Crow3711

    That’s amazing. Scientists are totally badass. Chemical Engineering? He must crush you. With poison. In a lab coat and army boots.

  • Dec. 28, 2008, 8:07 p.m. CST

    There should be a scene…

    by mode_7

    …with Stallone reading Harry’s Blade 2 review, in it’s entirety. Without puking.

  • Dec. 28, 2008, 8:11 p.m. CST

    Xiphos_2, if you are the original Xiphos, glad you are safe

    by krullboyisback

    thanks for your service

  • Dec. 28, 2008, 8:11 p.m. CST

    Will Stallone include a line about Cupping the Balls and Working

    by timmer33

  • Dec. 28, 2008, 8:11 p.m. CST

    Think they’ll fit in a role for HULK HOGAN brother!?

    by Guy Who Got A Headache And Accidentally Saves The World

    Whatchu gonna do Sylvester?

  • Dec. 28, 2008, 8:11 p.m. CST

    Or “Sexiest Beanpole” something or other …

    by timmer33

  • Dec. 28, 2008, 8:11 p.m. CST

    by timmer33

  • Dec. 28, 2008, 8:12 p.m. CST

    Thanks Yackbacker, do you remember Cocoa Lopez?

    by krullboyisback

    With his links to his “spoken word” music he said would revolutionize rap?

  • Dec. 28, 2008, 8:13 p.m. CST

    Or “There’s a Bomb in His Ribcage!”

    by timmer33

  • Dec. 28, 2008, 8:14 p.m. CST

    Or “There’s a Bomb in His Ribcage!”

    by timmer33

    And it cut out “Working the Shaft” earlier …

  • Dec. 28, 2008, 8:16 p.m. CST

    Or “nipples on the batsuit”

    by krullboyisback

  • Dec. 28, 2008, 8:19 p.m. CST


    by Xiphos_2

    Yep, I’m the same person, just version 2.0. Thanks for the shoutout and right back at you my man.

  • Dec. 28, 2008, 8:22 p.m. CST

    Cocoa Lopez! OT: Who started the ABE VIGODA LAUGHS AT YOU

    by YackBacker

    Its posted in every obit column. I don’t recall if its the same dude or a group thing. I mean, seriously, Abe Vigoda is laughing at us all!

  • Dec. 28, 2008, 8:23 p.m. CST

    Also, “Dino De Laurentis” was hilarious. Haven’t

    by krullboyisback

    seen him in a while

  • Dec. 28, 2008, 8:26 p.m. CST

    comes from talkbacker spin on ‘spy’s gotta eat’

    by captainCAPSLOCK

    Cedric The Entertainer line in his code name: the cleaner movie. i don’t remember the talkbacker that spawned the meme though :(

  • Dec. 28, 2008, 8:30 p.m. CST

    People named Christmas and Caesar

    by Arch_Stanton


    Searching for just Christmas or just Caesar last names comes up with more hits that they will display (with no location specified). Hey, Vern, you asked!

  • Dec. 28, 2008, 8:33 p.m. CST

    VERN you probably just helped the financing of this film

    by Stormwatcher

    To all studio plants and Rothmany’ Fox type suits, VERN is our leader when it comes to cornball action movies and he has single handedly provided Segal with an audience for the past 4 years. If he says its good, then I am buying my ticket sight and trailer unseen.

    VERN PLEASE GET OFF GEOCITIES and get a real website that have more pepper to it, maybe work with Moriarty on his new site. VERN YOU NEED A BIGGER AUDIENCE. You are hands down the reason I check this site daily. I ain’t gay even for plot points but dude, from one West Coast Dweller to another (up in Vancouver) your golden man.

  • Dec. 28, 2008, 8:37 p.m. CST

    Also VERN why don’t you cover the Vancouver Film Fest?

    by Stormwatcher

    Come up, I can hook you up with sweet, cheap digs, I manage a 4 star property. Segal sightings happen there.

  • Dec. 28, 2008, 8:39 p.m. CST

    AICN news pimping this movie = Something frrom Sly in return

    by SomaShine


  • Dec. 28, 2008, 8:44 p.m. CST

    Dino DeLaurentiis

    by seppukudkurosawa

    Dino ultimately became an admin on the Zone. He’s also responsible for the funniest thread on the Zone: Ask a the Dino, an Agony Aunt column where he ends up advising everyone who Asks a the Dino for help to kill themselves. http://tinyurl.com/7gp457 (‘fraid you have to log in to view it).

  • Dec. 28, 2008, 8:46 p.m. CST

    He was left out, but I looked over and saw

    by Grammaton Cleric Binks

    Kurt Russell laughing so I guess HELL YEAH I AM GOING TO SEE THIS MOVIE.

  • Dec. 28, 2008, 8:47 p.m. CST


    by mode_7

    Vern’s site perfectly reflects the essence of his writings AND MUST NEVER CHANGE. I want to be able to go there in 20 fucking years and see it completely untouched be the passage of time. Furthermore, Vern doesn’t need to find a larger audience, for only the true aficionados of badass cinema are deserving of such a bookmark.

  • Dec. 28, 2008, 8:48 p.m. CST

    SomaShine, table scraps nothing. While the

    by Grammaton Cleric Binks

    Rambo Q&A with Sly was not as good as the Rocky one, the Rocky Balboa Q&A is one of the most memorable talkbacks of all time.

  • Dec. 28, 2008, 8:49 p.m. CST

    Re: “Stallone came up with this idea”

    by havocSchultz

    ABking – technically, according to the copy of The Expendables script I have on my hard drive, Stallone did not originally come up with this idea…but he is doing some re-writing on it…not sure if he is actually cutting out the subplot of his character having a child in University (possible from Vern’s little mention of the “do you have a child question and the I have a plane answer). But there is/was a cool Heat-esque scene where Whitaker’s character of Sands runs into Stallone’s Barney at the University. They both have children there. Stallone originally thinks he was followed and they have a little confrontation/talk. It’s a nice little back and forth that could work well if left in…

    So yeah, as much as I admire your enthusiasm and pimpage of all things Stallone, from my recollection the original script/idea came from somewhere else…

    But I am ecstatic that Stallone decided to sign on and hire one of the best cast of muthafuckas in years…

  • Dec. 28, 2008, 9:04 p.m. CST


    by Phimseto

    Like I said in another talkbalk, Stallone should get Steven deSouza and/or Shane Black to touch up the script. Get the damn thing as tight as possible and run with it. And if you are going to have a CIA agent named Sands, then at least pitch the damn thing to Johnny Depp. He says yes to the strangest things, so he might take to “reprising” the role in a different film. Forrest can be the black dude on the team, and you know his involvement will spruce up that character as much as it needs to be. And, yeah, I’d love to see Van Damme or Russell in this, too.

  • Dec. 28, 2008, 9:06 p.m. CST

    “damn thing”

    by Phimseto

    not sure i’ve ever managed to fit that term twice into one paragraph. Sorry ’bout that. It’s been a long vacation.

  • Dec. 28, 2008, 9:07 p.m. CST

    Vern, Your Seagalogy book kicks ass, dude

    by Cruel_Kingdom

    Got it for Christmas and love the hell out of it. I keep finding myself actually laughing out loud. Well played, sir. Many kudos for penning a terrific book, my friend.

  • Dec. 28, 2008, 9:24 p.m. CST

    Black guy should be Wesley Snipes

    by Volstaff

    In a perfect world this would be so.Or if he’s in jail, maybe Billy Blanks of “Tai Bo” fame and fortune.And what, no Jessie Ventura?Cinthia Rothrock as the ass kickin MILF hooker with the heart of gold?

    And bring in Ralph Machio as “The Kid”. They can kill him off in the first battle when he tries the “paint the house” move against a guy with a machete ( Danny Trejo!).

    You’re welcome, bitches.

  • Dec. 28, 2008, 9:33 p.m. CST

    I think…

    by Lord John Whorfin

    if you say or type the word “kudos,” you’re an automatic schmuck. Learn a new word. This movies sounds so much more awesome than Inglorious Bastards. That script sucked a bologna pony.

  • Dec. 28, 2008, 9:57 p.m. CST

    gotta eat

    by maluquiro

    gotta eat was a catchprase before cedric said it…

  • Dec. 28, 2008, 10 p.m. CST

    Snipes is a genius call

    by palimpsest

    And I punish myself for the omission.

  • Dec. 28, 2008, 10:02 p.m. CST

    AICN, please get over AB King already

    by BilboFett

    The guy hasn’t really made a presence in about 5 years, and yet all of you keep referencing him. He’s NEVER in the talkbacks. All it does is make you look very lame.

  • Dec. 28, 2008, 10:04 p.m. CST

    gotta eat line and some hard trivia for the TBers

    by BilboFett

    was from the Cedric the entertainer film, wasn’t it? Here’s a bit of trivia for you guys, 2 questions: what movie reviews here spawned the “BOMB IN HIS RIBCAGE!!” talkback jokes, as well as the “PENCHANT FOR DEAD, RAPED DEER” talkbackisms?

  • Dec. 28, 2008, 10:06 p.m. CST

    this movie is incomplete without

    by BilboFett

    Lorenzo Lamas, Jeff Fahey (get rid of that damned beard), Shannon Tweed, Eric Roberts, and Stephen Baldwin.

  • Dec. 28, 2008, 10:26 p.m. CST

    I had chili for lunch.

    by Godovhellfire

  • Dec. 28, 2008, 10:27 p.m. CST

    Sho Kosugi and Kurt Russell sure

    by TheNorthlander

    But Come on, the one icon that REALLY needs to come back is BOLO YEUNG. Anyone else miss Bolo?

  • Dec. 28, 2008, 10:33 p.m. CST


    by eXcommunicated

    This movie definitely needs Jean-Claude Van Damme, Michael Biehn, and Carl Weathers.

  • Dec. 28, 2008, 10:35 p.m. CST

    Why is Forest Whitaker’s fat ass in this?

    by Leafar the Lost

    Sylvester Stallone will kick ass alongside Jet Li, Jason Statham, Dolph Lundgren, Randy Couture, and Forest Whitaker? Why is his fat ass in this kick ass movie? Is he the bad guy whose ass will be kicked? If Stallone wanted a token black guy, just to show that he isn’t a racist, then get someone who is in halfway decent shape. Maybe Eddie Murphy.

  • Dec. 28, 2008, 10:39 p.m. CST

    Well…there’s BLACK Ceasar. And Mary CHRISTMAS.

    by tHeGRinGoGenTiLE

    Not to mention Hale Mary. But I’m not a football fan, so…

  • Dec. 28, 2008, 10:41 p.m. CST


    by Vern

    There’s no kid or university mentioned in the draft I read. Sounds interesting. They definitely are trying for a relationship between hunter and hunted here but it does feel like a little something is missing.

  • Dec. 28, 2008, 10:50 p.m. CST

    Barney Fife

    by DoogieHowitzer

    ‘Nuff Said…..except this movie has zero artistic potential…which is why I WILL FUCKING LOVE IT

  • Dec. 28, 2008, 10:51 p.m. CST

    Leafar the Lost

    by TheNorthlander

    Because a) Forrest Whitaker is an amazing actor while Eddie Murphy is not, and b) You know as well as I do that if Sylvester Stallone cast Eddie Murphy in one role he’d soon take over EVERY role in the script.

  • Dec. 28, 2008, 10:53 p.m. CST

    Eddie Murphy

    by TheNorthlander

    is a role hogger.

  • Dec. 28, 2008, 10:54 p.m. CST

    that sounds like a lot of fun

    by CherryValance

    Hale Caesar and gotta eat. Awesome.

  • Dec. 28, 2008, 11:02 p.m. CST

    BilboFett…STOP acting like a TURD!

    by ABking

    ABKing is always watching:)

  • Dec. 28, 2008, 11:12 p.m. CST

    Bolo! Bolo! Bring back Sheriff Bolo! BOLO!

    by Acne Scarface


  • Dec. 28, 2008, 11:13 p.m. CST

    also among the best of the AICN memes

    by Dollar Bird

    Two fat kids belly-bumping.

  • Dec. 28, 2008, 11:31 p.m. CST

    Black guy should be Jae Lee

    by kungfuhustler84

    that’s his name right?
    The dude who play’s Damoe in the deleted Kill Bill 2 scene? Does anybody know what I’m talking about?

  • Dec. 28, 2008, 11:33 p.m. CST

    No Sam Elliot?

    by EyeofPolyphemus

    You gota have Sam Elliot.

  • Dec. 28, 2008, 11:33 p.m. CST

    I’m in. I stopped reading after “starring… Dolph”

    by JoeSixPack

    That’s enough for me. Here’s my $8. Stallone rocks.

  • Dec. 28, 2008, 11:34 p.m. CST


    by kungfuhustler84

    Michael Jai White
    Got that all wrong. Boy that’s inspiring. That guy kicks ass though.
    Undisputed 2 anybody?
    Throw Scott Adkins in there too!

  • Dec. 28, 2008, 11:34 p.m. CST

    kungfu – that’s Michael Jai White

    by JoeSixPack

  • Dec. 28, 2008, 11:38 p.m. CST


    by Bloo

    comes from a Gary Sinese movie, I don’t remember the name, but I remember it had Sinese
    Sly,Sly, Sly…two words…ERIC…ROBERTS…dictator, need proof watch his f’d up totally amazing performance in DOA: DEAD OR ALIVE…where in a film full of half naked chicks he steals the movie

  • Dec. 28, 2008, 11:55 p.m. CST

    Should Call it “The Dependables”

    by Akira Cowabunga

    Because they’re all so old they have to wear Depends undergarments.

  • Dec. 29, 2008, 12:01 a.m. CST

    Random Names

    by Tar Heel

    Jeff Speakman, Adam Baldwin (My Bodyguard!), Shannon Tweed, Ken Wahl, Patrick Swayze, Carl Weathers, Donald Sutherland (need a creepy financier and an original Dirty Dozen cast member), Eddie Murphy, Lee Horsley, Reb Brown… And as for AICN cliches, vampires and werevolves.

  • Dec. 29, 2008, 12:08 a.m. CST

    Count me in

    by Xiphos_2

    It will be nice to see an action movie based on the concept that the movie justs has, you know, action for action sake.
    Man the 80’s were great for fun movies, I wonder what happened? Oh yeah, I remember why, people decided that movies were way more important then they are and having fun at the movies was not cool.

  • Dec. 29, 2008, 12:14 a.m. CST

    Should have Bolo Yeung and Van Damme in it

    by DarthBakpao

  • Dec. 29, 2008, 12:18 a.m. CST

    Oh, sniddyap! JIM KELLY!

    by Acne Scarface

    btw, that gary sinise movie is called impostor (2003). *props*

  • Dec. 29, 2008, 12:34 a.m. CST


    by havocSchultz

    Hmmm…interesting…I got my hands on it a few months before I heard the news about Stallone making it…I only read a good chunk of it, up to the point where things “get personal” between Li and Dolph…

    Did your version have Jet Li’s family in it as well…?

    I’ll have to go back and read the entire thing to see how it plays out…most of the other stuff you mentioned seemed to make sense from what I read, but some of the “one liners” that were in it weren’t that glorious…more like they were trying to be cool and some fell flat…lemme know, I’d be happy to let you take a gander at the version I have and you can compare…It’s a shame the university/children thing seems to be gone, it might’ve not been the greatest scene on the page, but when I heard that it would be Stallone and Whitaker’s parts, I got a little excited at the possibilites…and I think the black expendable dude with the funny name was a latino dude or something in the original, if I’m not mistaken…it’s been a few months now…and I think he had a different name too…

  • Dec. 29, 2008, 12:36 a.m. CST

    Oh, and Whitaker’s character name…

    by havocSchultz

    was originally Hands, not Sands I think…Izzy Hands possibly…you’d think I could just pull it up and check it out…but I’m much happier assuming that my memory and brain cells haven’t been completely fried from some sort of substance…

  • Dec. 29, 2008, 12:37 a.m. CST

    Gay Expendable gotta eat!

    by otm shank

    A cockmeat sammich. I wonder who Sly will get to play him. Sean Penn perhaps?

  • Dec. 29, 2008, 12:38 a.m. CST

    Michael Dudikoff, Ti Lung, Yasuaki Kurata, Sonny Chiba

    by DarthBakpao

    Chow Yun Fat, Fan Siu Wong, Lo Mang

  • Dec. 29, 2008, 12:54 a.m. CST

    What about Chris Kattan?

    by Fat and Curious

    Why hasn’t his name been mentioned? I’m guessing he’s the dictator?

  • Dec. 29, 2008, 12:55 a.m. CST

    Which studio is producing this?

    by joe90025

    Cannon Films or Carolco?

  • Dec. 29, 2008, 1:17 a.m. CST

    Actually it’s Millennium Films

    by Vern

    which is the closest thing to a 21st century Cannon Films. If you don’t believe me check out their resume: http://www.imdb.com/company/co0002572/

  • Dec. 29, 2008, 1:26 a.m. CST

    I want to see Chuck Norris as the death dealer

    by Groothewarrior

    and Bruce Campbell too!

  • Dec. 29, 2008, 1:33 a.m. CST

    This is action movie porn

    by caruso_stalker217

    This is our LORDING THE RINGS movie, guys. This is our TWILITE. This is our STAR WARDS.

    That last one was a genuine typo.

  • Dec. 29, 2008, 1:35 a.m. CST

    And Bloo is right

    by caruso_stalker217

    This needs Eric motherfuckin’ Roberts.

  • Dec. 29, 2008, 1:51 a.m. CST

    Sounds Like Sly Was Listening to Us Gripe

    by ThePilgrim

    about the monumental fucking lose that Inglorious Bastards became. We all wanted a new era ditry dozen, and the plot is mainly centered on Shosanna. Enter Sly Stalone. I bet he read it saw what we were bitching about and said ok then. I’ll do it. I’ll gibve you guys the Merc’s you want! Thanks Sly.

  • Dec. 29, 2008, 1:59 a.m. CST

    Chuck Norris as the Gay Expendable

    by Akira Cowabunga

    Because we all know how much Chuck likes his tube steak.

  • Dec. 29, 2008, 2:12 a.m. CST

    TV’s Hunter?

    by Chicken Grease

    How bout a role for TV’s “Hunter”, Mr. Fred Dryer? Also you got have Ernest Borgnine there somewhere.

  • Dec. 29, 2008, 2:25 a.m. CST

    Son of a Bitch Master!

    by tombseye

    Okay, so I may check this out. If it gets the same reviews as Rambo did (surprisingly good), then I’ll give it a chance. And yeah, Akira you’re right, Chuck Norris would make a great Gay Expendable since he’s so damn homophobic and still a neocon true believer (must have gotten kicked by Bruce Lee and others too many times). Good cast looks like. I would think that Jason Statham or Jet Li should lead since they could, at this and most other points, kick Stallone’s ass from here to Mars, but hey it’s his baby so I guess that’s how it goes.

  • Dec. 29, 2008, 2:37 a.m. CST


    by PTSDPete

    We need more of that shit in our lifetime !

  • Dec. 29, 2008, 2:44 a.m. CST

    Is this the movie ‘ Inglorious Basters ‘ was suppose to be ?!?

    by PTSDPete

    Marquee names all around.

  • Dec. 29, 2008, 2:49 a.m. CST

    Sly needs to work in Avatar fucking our eyeballs

    by rhcp2sweet

    or possibly about how he’s going to bring TOTAL FUCKING DESTRUCTION to this dictator

  • Dec. 29, 2008, 2:57 a.m. CST


    by DanboJohnJ

    Sound soo cool,it about time we had another of these flicks.i do hope Stallone keeps the violence from RAMBO,then it would blow the comp outa the water….oh and Stallones character should have a big moustatch like he did in the First Blood FLASHBACKS when the VC’s are dunking him in the sewer pit…old school.

  • Dec. 29, 2008, 3:04 a.m. CST

    Chuck Norris as the gay expendable!!!!

    by Mike_D

    do it!!

  • Dec. 29, 2008, 3:11 a.m. CST

    Norris and Van Damme as Gay Expendables!

    by Akira Cowabunga

    There can be a touching scene where Chuck and Jean Claude are pumping each other when a bomb hidden in Norris’ asshole goes off, killing them both.

  • Dec. 29, 2008, 3:18 a.m. CST

    There has to be a part for…

    by MrNotHere

    Gene Hackman. Don’t know what, but he has to be in it. And can we dig up Reb Brown to play Blaster from Uncommon Valor??

  • Dec. 29, 2008, 3:57 a.m. CST

    Hearing the word Goofy

    by hallmitchell

    Worries me alot.

    Everyone who has worked with Stallone says what a funny guy he is.

    Yet every Stallone comedy has flopped big time. Schwarzenegger could do it. Stallone can’t.

  • Dec. 29, 2008, 4:04 a.m. CST

    Never fear, Hallmitchell

    by Vern

    I meant “goofy old man” in the ROCKY BALBOA sense. It’s not a comedy.

  • Dec. 29, 2008, 4:15 a.m. CST

    I cannot wait for this movie!!!

    by Brody77

    Seriously – this sounds like the best thing since sliced bread!

    It should have Van Damme though – I’ll hold off mentioning Arnie or Willis..oops!

  • Dec. 29, 2008, 4:15 a.m. CST

    Sounds like TOTAL FUCKING DESTRUCTION to me!

    by Motoko Kusanagi

    Seriously, this might be the second best movie in decades – after AVATAR of course.
    I just hope and pray that Mr. Stallone keeps the fuck away from fucking shaky cam images that change every 5 frames.

  • Dec. 29, 2008, 4:45 a.m. CST

    So there are no roles for Nick Nolte and Gary Busey?

    by DerLanghaarige

  • Dec. 29, 2008, 4:46 a.m. CST


    by ironic_name


  • Dec. 29, 2008, 4:48 a.m. CST

    This movie is basically what we have going on in the Oleg thread

    by ironic_name

    Sly.. we thank you.


  • Dec. 29, 2008, 5:04 a.m. CST

    wesley as the jewish ninja pianist!

    by ironic_name


  • Dec. 29, 2008, 5:13 a.m. CST

    Millenium films are secretly funding the war on terror…

    by WhinyNegativeBitch

    …Or something. The money has to to be going somewhere, because it’s not going anywhere near the screen.

  • Dec. 29, 2008, 5:23 a.m. CST

    Stallone should do LEGEND OF THE DUELIST

    by Monkey_King

    with Lundgren. A sci-fi/martial arts/action film with furry amoeba-like aliens and scantily-clad females running around. Sign me up!!!!

  • Dec. 29, 2008, 5:57 a.m. CST

    This movie needs a completely eighties soundtrack

    by IAmMrMonkey!

    And the tagline should be:
    “They’ve come to fuck your eyeballs so hard that you’ll think it’s 1987 all over again.”

  • Dec. 29, 2008, 6:11 a.m. CST

    This Is A Rip-Off Of Inglorious Bastards!!!

    by Media Messiah

    Isn’t it obvious, this is a rip-off of Inglorious Bastards? Things didn’t work-out between Stallone and Taratino, so Stallone decides to make this rush job rip-off version of Bastards.

  • Dec. 29, 2008, 6:15 a.m. CST


    by CoolerKing72

    Van Damme turned down a role to do USOL 3. Big mistake.

    Also this films needs Olivier Gruner, Keith Vitalli, Benny ‘the jet’ Urquidez, Joe Lewis, Edward john Stazak, Sho Kosugi, cynthia Rothrock, Keith Hiribashi, Richard Norton, and to top it off get Wang jang Lee in as the bad guy.

    When is Mark Dacasos going to be in another classic. We all want Drive 2

  • Dec. 29, 2008, 6:27 a.m. CST

    M-O-O-N. That spells “Van Damme”

    by Tom Cullen

    Actually van damme had to do Universal Soldier 3 to avoid a lawsuit, as he dropped out of his contract for another film by the producers, I think to do JCVD. So he doesn’t have much choice in the matter. It’s possible that filming of Universal Soldier 3 conflicted with Expendables, so he just couldn’t do it. Or maybe he just didn’t want to play the gay guy…
    Speaking of the gay character, it needs to be a well groomed ass kicker, how about Dirk Benedict? Faceman gotta eat. Or Rutger Hauer maybe. Someone who isn’t going to stereotypically ‘mince it up’, and who can, err, handle their weapon convincingly. The black guy should be Adewale Akinnuoye-Agbaje, or, in a pinch, Mr T. And cant they fit Chuck Norris in there somewhere?

  • Dec. 29, 2008, 6:35 a.m. CST

    “Bomb in his ribcage”

    by Tin Snoman

    was from the trailer to the film Impostor. Also, seconding Bill Duke as Hale Caesar.

  • Dec. 29, 2008, 6:44 a.m. CST

    Well I guess knuckle dragging morons need films too

    by metaluna

    Mullets. Blonde bimbos. 80’s soundtrack. Slow motion explosions. Machine guns carried and fired under arm. Cocaine dealing bad guys. Cliched South American dictators. You testosterone filled, small penised, gay deniers are easily pleased. Did Stallone actually write this or just photocopy several straight to video B movie scripts from the 80s? Laughable. Please retire for New Year, Sly. Your schtick is tired and embarassing. How old are you now?

  • Dec. 29, 2008, 6:51 a.m. CST

    Media Messiah

    by DocPazuzu

    Yeah, except this movie is going to make Tarantino’s film its mewling bitch.


  • Dec. 29, 2008, 7:14 a.m. CST


    by sonnyfern

    That’s all I got to say. Thank God Stallone is back doing his thing. The movie business needs him so bad. We desperately need BIG STUPID VIOLENT action movies!

  • Dec. 29, 2008, 7:27 a.m. CST


    by Media Messiah

    I can’t say Tarantino’s movie will be any better, and since it is also a rip-off of a movie from years ago, who cares? They are all crooks!!!

  • Dec. 29, 2008, 7:29 a.m. CST

    I’m going to come

    by Abominable Snowcone

    out and see this at the show, for sure

  • Dec. 29, 2008, 7:46 a.m. CST

    Media Messiah

    by DocPazuzu

    Yes, but:

    Sly. Dolph. Jet Li. The Stath.



  • Dec. 29, 2008, 7:47 a.m. CST


    by DocPazuzu

    …that’s a TomBodetism, not a typo — “Cokey Quarantino”.

  • Dec. 29, 2008, 7:57 a.m. CST

    Can’t wait for this.

    by judge dredds fresh undies

    I agree about getting Shane Black to do some dialogue, and polish, that would be awesome.

    Also, I love you Vern.

  • Dec. 29, 2008, 8:25 a.m. CST

    I dunno if anybody’s mentioned him lately,

    by Shut the Fuck up Donny

    but how about giving Randall “Tex” Cobb a small role in this film? He always knows how to play a badass, and would be quirky enough for this kinda film.

  • Dec. 29, 2008, 8:41 a.m. CST

    three percent

    by stvnhthr

    If between 1-3% of the population describes themselves as gay why do they constantly get a token character in the movies? Doesn’t this bother the gay community that they get a disproportion amount of screen time?

  • Dec. 29, 2008, 8:45 a.m. CST


    by DocPazuzu

    Nice trolling there.

    Then again, you are the asshat who thought a good idea for Jurassic Park 4 would be if Nedry was found alive, crazy and blind on the island and a mauled Muldoon as well, agreeing to some InGen dinosaur shenanigans in exchange for medical aid and transport off the island.

  • Dec. 29, 2008, 8:59 a.m. CST

    jo shishido. sonny chiba [if hes alive] micheal biehn

    by ironic_name

  • Dec. 29, 2008, 9:01 a.m. CST


    by ironic_name

  • Dec. 29, 2008, 9:01 a.m. CST


    by ironic_name

  • Dec. 29, 2008, 9:02 a.m. CST


    by ironic_name

  • Dec. 29, 2008, 9:02 a.m. CST

    by ironic_name

    OLEG loves you.

  • Dec. 29, 2008, 9:19 a.m. CST

    Needs Creed

    by IronSkillet

    If only Carl Weathers could patch things up with Stallone, that would complete the movie. Dumb feud, really…Weathers insisted on an actual role in Rocky Balboa, even though his character died in Rocky III. Perhaps Sly could’ve found Apollo Creed still thriving alongside Captain Kirk somewhere in the Nexus…

  • Dec. 29, 2008, 9:57 a.m. CST

    Oh, I think we ALL KNOW….

    by mr_macphisto

    …what this movie needs. FRANK STALLONE.

  • Dec. 29, 2008, 10:02 a.m. CST

    Frank Stallone

    by IronSkillet

    Surely Frank is going to have a scene stealing moment singing a doo-wop song on a street corner in Corza…

  • Dec. 29, 2008, 10:08 a.m. CST

    Why Stallone is great

    by Keeper Of Chimps

    When most film makers take on mythic archetypes, they put them in a fantasy or sci-fi realm. Stallone is great at putting mythic archetypes into real world situations. Not that fantasy and sci-fi archetypes is less preferable, its just that not many people have a knack for successfully utilizing them in the real world. Stallone is one of the few.

  • Dec. 29, 2008, 10:17 a.m. CST

    I really hope that…

    by mrfan

    this comes together well. Just thinking about it I am excited.
    Also, please get Sly back here for more questions. That was the best time I had in a long time. Great stuff.

  • Dec. 29, 2008, 10:53 a.m. CST

    Iron Skillet

    by Abominable Snowcone

    Yes, just before the climactic finale battle, Frank will pop up from behind a rock, wearing a ruffled-shirt tuxedo and holding a microphone with a cord trailing off into nowhere, and he shall sing: “Push-in, getting ready for the fight! Push-in, every day and night!”

  • Dec. 29, 2008, 10:55 a.m. CST

    Iron Skillet

    by Abominable Snowcone

    Apollo died in IV. I know you meant that. Mickey died in III. And no, I don’t get why Carl was upset either. I mean, Apollo was dead. And even flashbacks wouldn’t have had much use for him in “Balboa.” The only flashbacks that had merit were the Adrian ones, because Rocky being a widower was kinda the crux of the story.

  • Dec. 29, 2008, 11:24 a.m. CST

    Actually … my highschool job boss was Bill Christmas

    by JackRabbitSlim

    And Adolph Caesar was a great character actor best known as the mean Drill Sergeant in the under-appreciated “Soldier’s Story”

  • Dec. 29, 2008, 11:34 a.m. CST


    by Earthquake WestCoast

    1. Dolph might just be there for an extended cameo. Which would suck. He needs to be there as a main character. 2. If this is the entire cast, well then it’s not that impressive. To really seal the deal with fans, Stallone NEEDS to cast at least TWO MORE icon stars! Ex. Bruce Willis, or other 80s era action star. Otherwise, this film won’t be as “special” as it could be. Plus, Stallone may not get another chance to assemble such a cast.

  • Dec. 29, 2008, 11:50 a.m. CST

    DOLF for ‘DOC SAVAGE’ Remake

    by uberman

    Someone reboot DOC SAVAGE with Dolf in the title role and do the books justice. It’s never been done the way it should be. Dolf is Perfect for the role.

  • Dec. 29, 2008, 11:59 a.m. CST


    by BringingSexyBack

    “I must break you.”

    “I blake you light back.”

  • Dec. 29, 2008, noon CST


    by BringingSexyBack

    Except for what he did in that stupid ass Mummy movie.

  • Dec. 29, 2008, 12:02 p.m. CST

    I’m sure they’re looking for one more big name…

    by Desk of Steel

    I wouldn’t be surprised to hear Nicolas Cage, Bruce Willis, or Mickey Rourke become attached to one of these “open” roles. I could see Rourke playing the gay character (even though I haven’t read the script). I don’t think they’re looking for a Jeff Speakman folks.

  • Dec. 29, 2008, 12:04 p.m. CST

    Breaking News!!! Jeff Speakman cast!!!

    by Desk of Steel

    Not happening….

  • Dec. 29, 2008, 12:04 p.m. CST


    by BringingSexyBack


  • Dec. 29, 2008, 12:16 p.m. CST

    How’s Swayze’s health?

    by Xiphos_2

    Is he doing well enough to work? If so, he would be a great addition.

  • Dec. 29, 2008, 12:22 p.m. CST

    I agree with Swayze..

    by Desk of Steel

    If he’s healthy enough, he’d be great.

  • Dec. 29, 2008, 12:29 p.m. CST

    Robert Downey Jr as the black Expendable!

    by Kubla_Khan

    And Clancy Brown as the gay Expendable! Hell YEEEAAAAAH! In closing: this flm will reign.

  • Dec. 29, 2008, 12:32 p.m. CST

    I remember hearing…

    by havocSchultz

    when this was first announced that Stallone would be making it PG-13…any more word or confirmation on that…? Maybe if Vern can chime in about the new version of the script…does it fit the pg-13 mold…? If this is true, it’s really the only bit of unfortunate news that I’ve heard…with this cast and story, the only other thing that needs t fall into place is an extremely hardcore, Hard R rating…

  • Dec. 29, 2008, 12:51 p.m. CST


    by MR. MURDOCH

    If you’re reading this: after granting or not granting everyone else’s requests here (Kurt Russell for one of the roles, Sandra Bullock if you can get her), please do TWO MORE THINGS for this movie — Do everything in your power to get ARNOLD to cameo at the very end with a CIGAR in his mouth, and please GET VERN to do a DVD AUDIO COMMENTARY (in addition to your own, of course)!! P.S., I know Carl Weathers is a sore subject, but he showed up in a recent episode of E.R. and was not bad at all…! This movie’s gonna be like ‘Tropic Thunder…for real!’ Greatly looking forward to this!

  • Dec. 29, 2008, 1 p.m. CST

    “I blake you light back.”

    by DocPazuzu

    Yes, I laughed my ass off.

  • Dec. 29, 2008, 1:13 p.m. CST

    Abominable Snowcone

    by IronSkillet

    Yep, IV–well spotted.

    Still, what would an obviously aged Apollo have added to Rocky Balboa? :D He’s still formidable, but I doubt he’d still look remotely the same in a cropped sweatshirt and John Travolta’s shorts from Perfect.

  • Dec. 29, 2008, 1:16 p.m. CST

    And another thing…

    by IronSkillet

    The whole Frank Stallone thing makes me wonder why Sly doesn’t take the bold auteurial step of making a spoof of his own movie at the same time as he makes the original…think about it. Instead of leaving it to the “[Insert genre] Movie” crew, he releases The Expandables, a spoof of the Expendables, six months later, using the same actors and spoofing action movies featuring old 80s icons. :D

  • Dec. 29, 2008, 1:20 p.m. CST

    Zabka for gay expendable…

    by dirkadirkadirka

    put him in a body bag johnny!!!!

  • Dec. 29, 2008, 1:45 p.m. CST

    Sounds great Sly!

    by onefettinthehand

    I really loved Rocky Balboa and Rambo so I think you are doing an awesome job! I encourage everyone here to get these films on Blu-ray. I did a text commentary on the Rambo Blu-ray and it was a blast. As far as AICN catchphrases, you guys forgot “Zombie Bruce Paltrow needs a sammich”.

  • Dec. 29, 2008, 1:49 p.m. CST

    Disney Dumps Narnia!

    by onefettinthehand

    AICN needs to have a space to discuss this tragedy!

  • Dec. 29, 2008, 2:24 p.m. CST

    If Stallone’s gonna add in…

    by havocSchultz

    AICN catchphrases, he needs a scene where he’s fighting with some dude, and they both struggle to get back to their guns…then Stallone beats the other guy by a split second, fires, and kills him…then Stallone and say: “FIRST!”

  • Dec. 29, 2008, 3:53 p.m. CST


    by DocPazuzu

    You wouldn’t happen to be the talkbacker formerly known as fettastic, would you?

  • Dec. 29, 2008, 3:57 p.m. CST

    This film needs Al Leong in it!

    by Raymar

    And then the universe will implode due to sheer awesomeness!

  • Dec. 29, 2008, 4:24 p.m. CST

    Arnold needs the money

    by chaddyd

    Isn’t California going bankrupt in February? Why can’t the Governator step the fuck up and gets paid? Cali gotta eat.

  • Dec. 29, 2008, 6:14 p.m. CST


    by Grammaton Cleric Binks

    That would be Thelordofhell. He invented the Abe Vigoda line, and he’s on the money.

  • Dec. 29, 2008, 6:15 p.m. CST

    Damn straight Al Leong.

    by Grammaton Cleric Binks

    Die Hard, Lethal Weapon 2, and Bill and Ted’s Excellent Adventure. Genghis Khan want a Twinkie? Hell yeah he does.

  • Dec. 29, 2008, 7:06 p.m. CST

    Sounds fucking great! But drop the politically correct gay chara

    by Lornsorrow

    Then the movie will be like the war and action movies we love watching from the 60’s, 70’s, and 80’s. Yeah, bitch all you want about this remark, but its my fucking opinion and as an advocate of free speech I enjoy rooting for my team, so fuck off. Gays are certainly free to root for their side and those of us that don’t support them are free to root for our side. That’s called freedom. Its interesting how gays are free to express themselves, but as soon as someone else expresses that they don’t agree with being gay, well, then, gays and gay supporters jump all over them labeling them “redneck homophobes”, intolerant shitheads, blah blah blah, etc. I think many gays are just turning into a bunch of militant types and are forgetting that freedom of expression works both ways. Everyone is free to do whatever they want with their dicks. If we straights are loyal and cheering for our dicks in chicks, that’s natural. If gays and gay supporters want to root for taking it up the hershey highway, or putting their dick in a light socket or other places where we don’t think it fits naturally, well, that’s their freedom. And I’d fight for anyone’s real freedom. But freedom also includes being able to cheer for your own team. And we both can disagree with each other, but I don’t see any reason why people should insult each other, name call, etc. Every time some straight person on the net roots for their team they almost always get shit, so that’s my statement in advance. And that’s all I wish to say about it.

  • Dec. 29, 2008, 7:08 p.m. CST

    “character” got cut off.

    by Lornsorrow

  • Dec. 29, 2008, 8:13 p.m. CST


    by maluquiro

    this is me shaking my head and sighing…

  • Dec. 29, 2008, 9:23 p.m. CST

    Al Leong was in LW1

    by Prossor

    reemmber he got his neck snapped by riggs during the eletrotorture.

  • Dec. 29, 2008, 9:34 p.m. CST

    Then in Die Hard he gets a sweet tooth

    by Grammaton Cleric Binks

    and swipes a candy bar while waiting to waste the cops.

  • Dec. 29, 2008, 10:26 p.m. CST

    Forrest Whitaker is an amazing actor, but there will…

    by Leafar the Lost

    …be no acting in this movie. This is a money where people are going to get their asses kicked! I expect the “actors” to say their lines, blow someone’s head off, and kick someone in their balls. In fact, the less acting the better! Whitaker would be such a pain in the ass, because he would trying to deliver a good performance and use the “method” and all of the that gay shit. Fuck that shit! If Wesley Snipes wasn’t doing time in Florida, I would cast him. Maybe Trent Howard…

  • Dec. 29, 2008, 10:32 p.m. CST

    aw man…I have high hopes for this…

    by just pillow talk

    This could be like a Predator-style group of badasses. Except Dolph will break a machete against his face cutting off the scruff. He don’t need no stinking razor blade to get rid of the six o’clock shadow!

  • Dec. 29, 2008, 11:47 p.m. CST

    my bus driver in

    by hank quinlan

    1st grade’s last name was Christmas. And the rumor was his wife’s name was Mary. But I don’t think that was true. The joke was everytime she wrote a check, the clerk would hand it back: Merry Christmas to you too. But I need your name” Thats my two cents

  • Dec. 30, 2008, 12:50 a.m. CST

    wish list for remaining expendables

    by omega_786

    Donnie Yen (instead of Jet Li)

    Olivier Gruner

    Michael Dudikoff

  • Dec. 30, 2008, 12:57 a.m. CST

    Stallone fucked u…Check this out for Donnie Yen

    by omega_786


  • Dec. 30, 2008, 12:59 a.m. CST

    who’s al leong? is he related to action superstar al ‘kabong’ le

    by ironic_name

  • Dec. 30, 2008, 1 a.m. CST


    by ironic_name

    dam yu aicn

  • Dec. 30, 2008, 1:02 a.m. CST

    my local worm store owner is named lloyd christmas

    by ironic_name

  • Dec. 30, 2008, 2:22 a.m. CST


    by Harold-Sherbort

    Abe Vigoda just passed. That’s fucked up.

  • Dec. 30, 2008, 2:43 a.m. CST


    by Vern

    You got all that from there being one gay character in a movie? Must be a stressful life.

  • Dec. 30, 2008, 2:46 a.m. CST


    by Harold-Sherbort

    the band.

  • Dec. 30, 2008, 2:53 a.m. CST

    How do you guys feel about PG-13?

    by Vern

    Somebody named “Nobody” (probaly not their real name) emailed me to suggest that we should be discussing the fact that this is planned as a PG-13 movie. He or she made a good point that it’s silly to assume the audience for a movie starring Stallone and Lundgren is gonna be teens.

    The script I would say is violent but just based on the specific descriptions is not the extremely graphic type like RAMBO. But like I said, the biggest action scene isn’t even in the script, so who knows what will happen when they shoot it?

    So I’m remaining open minded but of course I would prefer a hard-R type of action. How about you guys? Would you prefer that they hold back on the violence? Here is your chance to let them know if you are very excited about them being restrained and polite in their action or if you would prefer a different approach. As Quint would say, “What do you guys think?”

  • Dec. 30, 2008, 3:07 a.m. CST


    by Harold-Sherbort

    It’s been proven that R rated movies can make a lot of money. Rambo did pretty well I think. If the story calls for a lot violence,you may as well just make it an R rated movie. When I heard the rumors of the new Terminator movie being shot as a PG-13, it didn’t seem right.But when you go back and watch the first 2 now, they’re really not that bad. I think the moment that The Joker slammed that guys head into a pencil, the boundries of PG-13 were pushed a little bit.

  • Dec. 30, 2008, 3:57 a.m. CST

    Needs to be R

    by caruso_stalker217

    Don’t piss in my ear and tell me it’s raining.

  • Dec. 30, 2008, 6:21 a.m. CST

    PG-13 is for pussies

    by Grammaton Cleric Binks

    Was Rambo PG-13? I rest my case.

  • Dec. 30, 2008, 6:23 a.m. CST

    Ironic, you don’t know Al Leong

    by Grammaton Cleric Binks

    I’m going to have to edumacate you in the zone.

  • Dec. 30, 2008, 7:09 a.m. CST

    This definitely needs Al Leong and Bruce Willis!!!!!

    by Motoko Kusanagi

    I still LOVE that scene where Leong’s character steals a candy bar in DIE HARD. I think Willis was somewhere in that very same flick, too.

  • Dec. 30, 2008, 7:10 a.m. CST

    This doesn’t need R. It fucking needs NC-17 !!!!

    by Motoko Kusanagi

    Fuck yeah!

  • Dec. 30, 2008, 7:32 a.m. CST

    This movie needs like over 260 kills

    by Abominable Snowcone

    with guys getting their knees blown out if they are to top the death count of the optical lovemakingfestival that is Rambo.

  • Dec. 30, 2008, 7:34 a.m. CST

    I love how in Rambo: FB Part II

    by Abominable Snowcone

    Co Bao asks Rambo “What’s that?” Rambo says, “A bow…no sound.”

    Then he proceeds to shoot a bad guy with it, and the thrum of the release is louder than a tsunami, and the thwack of the arrow in the forehead is louder than thunder.

  • Dec. 30, 2008, 7:38 a.m. CST


    by Abominable Snowcone

    Die Hard was great for little moments like that. The stuffed teddy bear. Fists with yer toes. Argyle gabbing on his car phone. The candy bar. The SWAT team bitching about thorn bushes. Powell and his Twinkies. Special agents Johnson and Johnson. Nice suit. Hey, Johnboy. Shoot da glass. Bill…clay.

  • Dec. 30, 2008, 7:53 a.m. CST

    Don’t limit yourself, Sly. Make it the “R” it should be.

    by JDanielP

    That’s my vote. Anything else would be a letdown with THIS cast.

  • Dec. 30, 2008, 8 a.m. CST


    by BringingSexyBack


  • Dec. 30, 2008, 8:57 a.m. CST

    NC-17 IS FOR PUSSIES!!! MAKE IT NC-21!!!!!

    by BringingSexyBack

    And make it 2,000 kills with one in a movie theater involving a talker!!!

  • Dec. 30, 2008, 9:35 a.m. CST

    pg-13 is fine, but R would be the way to go!

    by ABking

    I agree that with this cast, a movie called THE EXPENDABLES should have an R. It doesn’t have to be the lovefest of blood that RAMBO was (Sly got away with murder on that one, GO SLY, the MPAA got duped). All it has to have is some bad ass kills. I will leave it up to Sly to do what is best.

  • Dec. 30, 2008, 9:52 a.m. CST

    James Woods and Eric Roberts would make fine cameos.

    by Stuntcock Mike

    And Nick Mancuso as the slimy CIA dude.

  • Dec. 30, 2008, 9:57 a.m. CST

    Mandatory Frank Stallone appearance

    by Abominable Snowcone

    Push-in, gettin’ ready for the fight. Push-in, every day and night. Dut-da-dat-dat… and have a “kill counter” ticking off in the lower right hand corner. I love you Sly.

  • Dec. 30, 2008, 10:14 a.m. CST


    by BringingSexyBack


  • Dec. 30, 2008, 10:20 a.m. CST

    The one person Sly needs is SCHWARZENEGGER!

    by ABking

    AICN fans are talking about the black EXPENDABLE (Ving Rhames anyone?) or the gay EXPENDABLE (James Franco anyone?)…but the one guy Sly should convince to make a brief 5-10 minute cameo is ARNOLD SCHWARZENEGGER. And give him a military shed like in COMMANDO. That way, if he doesn’t do any action scenes, we could always imagine what his character would have done if he had gone on the mission. This could become STALLONE & SCHWARZENEGGER’s first action film together and what better way than in a war type tough guy movie. If this film is the huge 100 million domestic hit it’s gonna be, Arnie just needs to set up his character to star in EXPENDABLE 2 (I know I’m jumping the gun ok guys!). I hope when this film is out and Sly is talking about VAN DUMB…I mean VAN DAMME turning down the role DOLPH got…I hope Stallone doesn’t say Arnie turned him down as well. Arnie doesn’t need to take the money, just have Sly donate it to CA or some charity. Same with Avi Lerners CONAN film. Arnie should take the cameo as King Conan and not get paid if it’s a conflict of interest. Sly, if you are reading this, get Arnie to sign up for this old school 80’s action film. Fuck all the other guys the board is throwing out there, get ARNOLD! Hell, tell Arnie to do CONAN with your pal LERNER!

  • Dec. 30, 2008, 10:29 a.m. CST


    by BringingSexyBack

    Having Arnold on as a cameo would be an insult to the other actors who have to sweat and bleed to give good performances for Sly. And it would cheapen the movie. If you’re gonna be in Sly’s movie, give it 300% effort. Otherwise, spend your time balancing California’s budget.

  • Dec. 30, 2008, 10:34 a.m. CST

    Uh, 300%???

    by ABking

    Well, Arnie can’t “star” in the movie since he IS Governor, but maybe if Sly shoots Arnie’s scene for last, he can do a 30 minute role!

  • Dec. 30, 2008, 10:48 a.m. CST

    Funny how this could become CONTRA-like

    by ABking

    Sly and Arnie were always the only two guys that should have starred in a CONTRA film back in the 80’s. It’s funny Sly wrote a great military action film called THE EXPENDABLES that teams up numerous action stars. If Arnie has to sit the first film out, maybe it would be great for Sly and Arnie to make the sequel to EXPENDABLE only about the both of them going on a mission. Make it CONTRA style. Or maybe have the second film star Stallone, Schwarzenegger, Eastwood, Willis, Gibson and Jackie Chan!

  • Dec. 30, 2008, 10:50 a.m. CST


    by ABking

    CLOONEY started the idea of an all star cast with his trilogy of caper films…now Sly can do something similar if this film hits like it should!

  • Dec. 30, 2008, 10:57 a.m. CST


    by BringingSexyBack

    I trust Sly to do the right thing. Loved Rocky Balboa and I was pleasantly surprised by Rambo (didn’t have that much faith in it but he rocked it).

    Have you seen Mamma Mia, btw? Here’s a clip:


  • Dec. 30, 2008, 11 a.m. CST


    by BringingSexyBack

    That guy was born to slice!!!!

  • Dec. 30, 2008, 11:03 a.m. CST


    by BringingSexyBack

    is kinda bullshit. I never hesitated to say that Rocky Balboa was Oscar-worthy, and it fucking was. Sly was robbed.

  • Dec. 30, 2008, 11:05 a.m. CST


    by BringingSexyBack

    with Sly, Jet, Statham, Al Leong, Dolph … with Arnie telling them to build hurtin bombs? Holy shit.

  • Dec. 30, 2008, 11:13 a.m. CST

    Why not bring back Estell Getty or Janine Turner…

    by ABking

    You guys are going overboard with telling Sly to cast old co-stars. Who’s next, Dolly Parton!

  • Dec. 30, 2008, 1 p.m. CST


    by BringingSexyBack

    But fuck Janine Turner. She’s doing infomercials with Chuck Norris (AKA the Enemy). Her presence would cheapen Sly’s movie. Michael Rooker, though? Bring him onboard.

  • Dec. 30, 2008, 1:36 p.m. CST

    Binks: al leong wasn’t in DH or LW1.. al ‘kabong’ leong was

    by ironic_name

    al ‘kabong’ leong loves us.

  • Dec. 30, 2008, 1:37 p.m. CST

    Butt fuck Janine Turner

    by ironic_name


  • Dec. 30, 2008, 1:37 p.m. CST

    dark knight = smart pg.

    by ironic_name

    tension of a weapon in the room is better than shooting.

  • Dec. 30, 2008, 1:49 p.m. CST

    this movie needs a “you SONoffaBIDTCH” handshake scene

    by ironic_name

    “whassa madduh? CIA godtju pushing toomany bensills?”

  • Dec. 30, 2008, 2:07 p.m. CST

    This film is Rambo, Predator, True Lies, Mission:Impossible 3…

    by ABking

    …all roled into one. The Expendables can join that list of GREAT action films. Oh, by the way, SANDRA BULLOCK is out of the film according to CLINT at MOVIEHOLE.NET…http://www.moviehole.net/200817141-various-news-items-301208

  • Dec. 30, 2008, 4:13 p.m. CST

    The 80’s ruled so why not…

    by alienindisguise

    bring back a fun over the top action flick that’s not doused with cgi all over it.. Bring it on Sly!! I’ll be there.

  • Dec. 30, 2008, 4:34 p.m. CST

    Gotta Eat is slang..

    by dopeness

    Kimbo Slice coined the term

  • Dec. 30, 2008, 4:57 p.m. CST

    get Kurt Russel, Mickey Rourke or Vin Diesel

    by coltrautman

    for the mercenaries…do it sly….

  • Dec. 30, 2008, 5:01 p.m. CST

    this movie needs to be R

    by coltrautman

    with a violent mercenary pic like this, it needs to be R-rated IMO…I dont want it to be “Rambo bloody” because I dont think it calls for it…but I dont want it to hold back at all…

  • Dec. 30, 2008, 5:51 p.m. CST


    by monorail77

    It worked OK for Die Hard 4 (in my opinion) and if it means Sly can make a fuckload more money and keep on making films, I am seriously ALL for it. What’s to worry about? Intense blood and swearing or not, Sly will make a fucking awesome film. I am there!

  • Dec. 30, 2008, 5:59 p.m. CST

    Michael Biehn!

    by coltrautman

    sly should get this guy….hes made for mercenary pics..

  • Dec. 30, 2008, 6:07 p.m. CST

    Vern – Re: teen audience and 80’s action stars

    by TheNorthlander

    I don’t think it would be silly to assume that teens would be the audience for this film. Sure the main attraction here is to see our generation’s heroes come together in a JLA / The Avengers sort of way and teens today need to be introduced to REAL action movies. But remember that the people who were teenagers and saw these films in the late 80’s / early 90’s have teen kids of their own now and they WILL bring them in droves to see this movie.

    While I would hate, hate, hate for this to be less violent, hardcore and actiony than what action movies of that period were – I think the studio knows fathers will take their sons to see this.

  • Dec. 30, 2008, 6:38 p.m. CST


    by Vern

    That’s the point though, if the fathers will take their sons to it should be rated R just like Rambo, Die Hard, Predator, etc. were. I guess the teens would be the ones who go see Jason Statham movies, but it seems to me it’s dudes between about 17 and 25 who are into those, not ones under 17.

  • Dec. 30, 2008, 7:03 p.m. CST


    by BringingSexyBack

    Push-in!! We’re gonna rape pillage and plunda!!! Pushin!!!

  • Dec. 30, 2008, 7:10 p.m. CST


    by BringingSexyBack

    Push-in!! After your dead we’re gonna beat you some more!!! Push-in!!!

  • Dec. 30, 2008, 7:11 p.m. CST

    “Gonna have some fun tonight”

    by Grammaton Cleric Binks

    Bill Duke, Predator.

  • Dec. 30, 2008, 7:14 p.m. CST


    by Lornsorrow

    Aside from the first sentence or two of my original post, the rest of it I wrote a ways back that I keep around for these sorts of occasions. Of course I’m not going to waste my time typing the same basic thing over and over.

  • Dec. 30, 2008, 7:16 p.m. CST


    by BringingSexyBack

    Push-in!! La La La we’re gonna rip your spleen out and feed it to ya!!! Push-in!!!

  • Dec. 30, 2008, 7:19 p.m. CST


    by BringingSexyBack

    Push-in!! Just as long as you can make our enemies die!! Push-in!!!

  • Dec. 30, 2008, 7:29 p.m. CST

    Is Stallone still doing MUSA DAGH?

    by hyeguy

    Is he still involved with Arnold in making it happen?

  • Dec. 30, 2008, 10:14 p.m. CST

    Vern, any chance of Arnie playing CHURCH like reported?

    by ABking

    MOVIEHOLE had this…

    Church – The man that hires the ‘Expendables’ to go after General Garza (who essentially runs his own island – described as a human rights graveyard). He’s an older bloke, and has a connection to the young man who Garza has apparently assassinated. This is personal, in other words. He wants Garza killed and his island burnt down. Five million dollars does the trick. (The rumour is, the role was written with Arnold Schwarzenegger in mind).

  • Dec. 30, 2008, 10:16 p.m. CST

    Is it possible

    by yubnubrocks

    to do a CGI of Charles Bronson? Sorry, but he’s the ultimate tough guy. You don’t fuck with Bronson.

  • Dec. 30, 2008, 10:24 p.m. CST

    any word on whom the other 2 Expendables might be vern?

    by coltrautman

    with guys like Stallone, statham, Jet Li, Dolph…..sly is going to have to find some relatively big-name “knowns” for this role….

    also hes supposedly shooting big for the 2 Female roles…wonder whom they might be…

  • Dec. 30, 2008, 11:10 p.m. CST


    by Vern

    That’s interesting A.B. I thought of Church as an elderly gentleman but I guess Schwarzenegger would work. But if that was the case it would be pretty much a cameo. I’d rather have him as the villain in part 2 or something.

  • Dec. 31, 2008, 2:26 a.m. CST


    by TheNorthlander

    I agree totally that it should be R for that reason. How old do you have to be in order to go with a parent to an R rated movie though?

    Over here the highest rating is 15, but you can’t go in even if you’re with a guardian unless you’ve had your 15th birthday already. which would mean all the Fathers with their 13 year old sons would half to download the thing.

  • Dec. 31, 2008, 2:27 a.m. CST

    did I just say

    by TheNorthlander

    ‘half to’ download the thing?

    aw man…

  • Dec. 31, 2008, 2:31 a.m. CST


    by TheNorthlander

    CG Bruce Lee would totally kick CG Charles Bronson’s ass.

  • Dec. 31, 2008, 6:49 a.m. CST

    Church/ARNOLD set up for part 2?

    by ABking

    Vern, is CHURCH the kind of character that could be set up to go on a mission in part 2 if the sequel happens? I would love it if Arnie just took his own team movie with THE A-TEAM! Any movement on that?

  • Dec. 31, 2008, 7:54 a.m. CST


    by coltrautman

    in the U.S. you can go to R rated movies pretty much any age if you are with a guardian.

  • Dec. 31, 2008, 8:10 a.m. CST


    by stvnhthr

    Good to see you are alive and well and I think if you read my comment you can see it is in no way trolling as it is neither derogatory nor inflammatory. Again it is cool to see you are still around and with a little name change able to post on the boards.

    Also if you remember my Jurassic Park 4 story idea I’m not sure how much I posted but Ned was not alive on the island, at least not for more than a few minutes after his screen time. Still it is cool that your remember it that well. For a Doctor you may want to work on your bedside manner just a tad- you have some keen insights but sometimes you don’t deliver them in the most loving way possible.

  • Dec. 31, 2008, 8:31 a.m. CST

    Bill Duke – Fuck Yeah

    by Crimson Dynamo

    Gonna have me some fun, gonna have me some fun

  • Dec. 31, 2008, 9:25 a.m. CST


    by Vern

    No, Church doesn’t seem like he would be in a sequel, I just mean I would rather if Schwarzenegger was gonna be in this that he play a more substantial character. But it would still be cool.

  • Dec. 31, 2008, 9:42 a.m. CST

    Unless as a cameo, Arnie would try to walk off…

    by Rocco Curioso

    with the movie. It would imbalance it to a great degree. As for the “gay squad member”, just go with Nick Chinlund, and don’t think twice. He’s got that potentially dubious “smarmy/macho” swagger that would fit the role like a glove. Plus he’s a primo actor.
    Seriously, guys… don’t overthink this.

  • Dec. 31, 2008, 9:47 a.m. CST

    Totally agreed about Bill Duke, BTW

    by Rocco Curioso

    He MUST figure into this. The man is the icing on any action movie cake.

  • Dec. 31, 2008, 10:07 a.m. CST

    I see your point Vern

    by ABking

    Arnie might not even be in this film but because there are real “rumors” out there, lets hope Arnie takes a role. It would just be as cool if Arnie played JOHN “HANNIBAL” SMITH in THE A-TEAM film. Vern, check this out…http://www.thearnoldfans.com/news/1390.htm

  • Dec. 31, 2008, 10:36 a.m. CST


    by BringingSexyBack

    or at least his brain in a robot.

  • Dec. 31, 2008, 10:37 a.m. CST

    How do we feel about PG-fucking-13?

    by Motoko Kusanagi

    How do you feel when being kicked in the nuts for 120 minutes?
    Action movies should always be hard-R.

  • Dec. 31, 2008, 11:07 a.m. CST

    Sly will listen to the fans if they want an R!

    by ABking


  • Dec. 31, 2008, 11:28 a.m. CST

    sounds like what INGLOURIOUS BASTARDS was ‘supposed to be’

    by Prague23

    Before Quentin wrote something down and instead of being crap like this movie sounds like it will be, turned out to be one hell of a nod towards film history that’ll make my head spin. Oh well, now we get the best of both worlds I guess. But I’m sad to hear that the gov of Cali won’t make an appearance in this film. Or Bruce Willis. Life goes on…

  • Dec. 31, 2008, 12:15 p.m. CST

    michael Jai white as black dude

    by colinjbooth

  • Dec. 31, 2008, 12:16 p.m. CST

    …and it’s Inglourious Basterds

    by colinjbooth

    If you’re gonna spell it wrong, spell it wrong right.

  • Dec. 31, 2008, 1:56 p.m. CST


    by BringingSexyBack

  • Dec. 31, 2008, 3:07 p.m. CST

    inglorious assturds

    by Prossor


  • Dec. 31, 2008, 3:09 p.m. CST

    Worked for a guy called Gerry Christmas once.

    by irritable

    Every witty remark, he’d say “It’s GERARD, okay!”

    Why do parents do this to kids?

    Names like Duane Pipe, Hugh Janus.

  • Jan. 1, 2009, 5 a.m. CST

    Movie needs more KRIS KRISTOFFERSON

    by Its a LION

    “Like my daddy always said, “if you can’t get out of it, get into it.” “I thought your daddy used to say, “if you can’t fix it, fuck it.” “He said that, too.”

  • Jan. 1, 2009, 12:50 p.m. CST

    Hey maybe Schwarzenegger is the gay expendable?

    by TheNorthlander

    I mean, Stallone is directing this.

    That would actually be funny.

  • Jan. 1, 2009, 12:57 p.m. CST


    by kuldan

    Nice comment about Danny Glover’s “dick blood.” I was rolling…

  • Jan. 1, 2009, 1:08 p.m. CST

    Maybe Northlander is the gay expendable…in real life

    by ABking

    …now thats funny:)

  • Jan. 2, 2009, 1:05 a.m. CST

    Dolph should play

    by Melvin_Pelvis

    Rob Liefeld’s Supreme

    Crazy, violent, delusions of godhood, the anti-superman.

    Then like in the comics, reboot it in another movie and play Alan Moore’s Supreme.

    Show the contrast and give Dolf some range to work in.

  • Jan. 2, 2009, 3:24 p.m. CST

    Lee Christmas — Lloyd’s brother?

    by WickedJester

    That’s the only other Christmas I’ve known and he came with some Harry Dunne.

    I’m sure someone else brought this up, but I’m not reading through all the hate and nonsense.

  • Jan. 2, 2009, 5:30 p.m. CST

    What, was Michael Dudikoff busy?

    by Alkeoholic77

    Still I think it’s a hilariously awesome cast.

  • Jan. 4, 2009, 3:43 a.m. CST


    by onezeroone

    Don’t both movies seem to be going for similar elements, complete with stunt casting.

    Definitely more excited about this one than INGLORIOUS BASTARDS.

  • Jan. 4, 2009, 6:50 a.m. CST

    Both can kick ass!

    by ABking

    Pitt and Sly seem to have winners on hand!

  • Jan. 5, 2009, 1:57 p.m. CST

    They’ve come to fuck your eyeballs so hard that you’ll think it’

    by Wee Willie

    That tag line is pure genius. Thanks for that, man. Very awesome.

  • Jan. 5, 2009, 2:30 p.m. CST

    Last Name: Christmas

    by Lost Boy

    Dionte Christmas plays basketball for Temple. He’s their best player.


    Caesar anyone?

  • Jan. 6, 2009, 6:47 a.m. CST

    Thomas Ian Griffith

    by YeahSureWhatever

    Make it happen.

  • Jan. 6, 2009, 11:25 a.m. CST

    Forest Whitaker?

    by Darth Busey

    The description of SANDS in this film almost sounds like Whitaker’s character in BLOODSPORT.


    p.s. Sly – yeah, you need to get Carl Weathers in this thing.

  • Jan. 6, 2009, 3:31 p.m. CST


    by Hedgehog000

    This would be perfect with Arnold in a cameo as the President. And don’t forget Van Damme (or rather JCVD) maybe as the villain.

  • Jan. 7, 2009, 11:41 a.m. CST

    Hey, here’s a great idea!

    by MyManD316

    Get JCVD to play the gay character and Segal to cut off his ponytail and play the black character!

  • Jan. 9, 2009, 6:47 p.m. CST

    This’ll be cool

    by Genre_Baby

    If there’s a lot more Dolph (I hope he’s NOT the character Vern thinks he is), but it sounds like a blast. So I’m there. I liked some of the Mercenaries in last years’ Rambo and thought a couple of them stole the show from Stallone.

  • Feb. 11, 2009, 9:51 p.m. CST

    The Expendables Versus Ingorious Basterds

    by doublepunk

    I think Sly and QT made a bet to see who could better reincarnate “The Dirty Dozen” for a 21st Century sensibility. It could get ugly out there…

  • Feb. 12, 2009, 7:51 a.m. CST

    Lotta life in this old post eh’

    by orcus

  • Feb. 17, 2009, 8:48 p.m. CST

    Coolest name of a real person I met…

    by Teddy Artery

    Hunter Jaw… I’m not kidding!

  • Feb. 15, 2010, 2:08 a.m. CST


    by TmvEqK

    FteHYJ <a href=”http://hfdaul.com/ “>bKvSTb</a>

  • Feb. 15, 2010, 2:08 a.m. CST


    by TmvEqK

    ZTQMPTy <a href=”http://pzseot.com/ “>wYSxWz</a>

This entry was posted on Sunday, December 28th, 2008 at 7:20 pm and is filed under AICN, Vern Tells It Like It Is. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.

One Response to “Vern has read Stallone’s The Expendables”

  1. Did you see the “Trailer”? http://www.joblo.com/expendables-trailer
    It doesn’t seem to be the official trailer. More a showreel for festivals or so, but it looks cool. Very old school and it seems like everybody had a good time, especially Statham and Li.

Leave a Reply

XHTML: You can use: <a href="" title=""> <img src=""> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <b> <i> <strike> <em> <strong>