Archive for the ‘Family’ Category
Wednesday, September 30th, 2026
FLY AWAY HOME is one of the great PG-rated movies of 1996, and a true family film as opposed to one for kids. It’s for all ages, because it’s about cute animals, but also a 13-year-old girl trying to find herself after life-shattering loss, but also an eccentric adult trying to get his shit together as a parent while staying true to his ideals, and how they do those things together by both caring about the goslings orphaned by developers intruding on their land.
It begins unusually heavy for any rating, with a musical montage in which a mother and daughter are joking around in the car and then are blindsided by a truck. There’s no diegetic sound, just Mary Chapin Carpenter singing “Fare Thee Well,” the ladies laughing, then the P.O.V. from inside the spinning and rolling car, blacking out, seeing lights shining and emergency workers breaking through the already cracked windshield. When Amy (Academy Award winner Anna Paquin in her third movie) wakes up in the hospital and her dad Thomas (Jeff Daniels following SPEED and DUMB AND DUMBER) is by her side she says, “Why are you here? Where’s Mom?” Devastating.
She moves from New Zealand to his farm in Ontario. He says don’t worry, I’ll get all the junk moved out of your bedroom so it looks just like you remember it. She says I don’t remember it. The house is big and cluttered, full of tools and trinkets, his metal sculptures and award-winning inventions, evidence of an adventurous life she wasn’t ever a part of. When he’s trying to explain why the fuck he has a life-sized replica of the lunar lander he starts saying how he built it around the time she and her mom left, and seems to become self-conscious mid-sentence of the obvious fact that him building a fucking space ship was part of what precipitated that. (But he continues to explain why it’s great.) (read the rest of this shit…)
Tags: Anna Paquin, Caleb Deschanel, Carroll Ballard, Dana Delany, Holter Graham, Jeff Daniels, Jeremy Ratchford, Ken James, Robert Rodat, Terry Kinney, Vince McKewin
Posted in Reviews, Drama, Family | 5 Comments »
Wednesday, September 2nd, 2026
August 2, 1996
Roald Dahl was my favorite author when I was a little kid, but I didn’t know his book Matilda because it didn’t come out until ’88. Watching the movie version again the story seems kinda sweet and wholesome by his standards, even though it envisions the world as a place full of cruel, crude idiots. Its warmth lies in its heroine, a smart girl who finds an angelically supportive teacher to help her through her difficulties. Similar idea, but a little more pure than a poor boy winning a chocolate factory. (I wasn’t that surprised when I read that an editor had to talk Dahl out of his initial version where Matilda uses her psychokinetic powers to torment innocent parents and help her teacher gamble.)
Director Danny DeVito (THROW MOMMA FROM THE TRAIN) must’ve still been concerned about MATILDA (adapted by Nicholas Kazan [MOBSTERS, DREAM LOVER] and Robin Swicord [SHAG]) being a little mean, because he cast himself as the kind-sounding narrator to balance out playing the asshole dad, Harry Wormwood. Harry and his wife Zinnia (Rhea Perlman, CLASS ACT) somehow raised their daughter Matilda (the precocious Mara Wilson, MRS. DOUBTFIRE) to the age of six without noticing – or at least not approving of – her brilliance. She loves to read, but has to sneak out to go to the library. Harry, an unethical used car salesman, forces her to watch TV junk and refuses to let her go to school, because “Who would sign for the packages?”
She’s delighted when he finally enrolls her at Crunchem Hall Elementary, but unfortunately it was just to help sell a car to principal Agatha Trunchbull (Pam Ferris, MEANTIME), an abusive monster who has a dartboard with pictures of students in her office and frequently locks kids in an iron maiden closet she calls “the Chokey.” A former shot putter, hammer and javelin thrower who competed in the 1972 Summer Olympics, she uses those skills to throw children long distances. Somebody should do something about this, but nobody’s up to it. (read the rest of this shit…)
Tags: Andrew Davis, Brian Cox, Danny DeVito, Embeth Davidtz, Fred Ward, J.F. Lawton, Josh Friedman, Keanu Reeves, Mara Wilson, Michael Shannon, Morgan Freeman, Nicholas Kazan, Pam Ferris, Paul Reubens, Rachel Weisz, Rhea Perlman, Roald Dahl, Robin Swicord, Tracey Walter, Tzi Ma
Posted in Action, Family | 11 Comments »
Thursday, August 20th, 2026
July 26, 1996
Today in Slam Evil Summer catch-up I have a double feature of films released on the same day, both about wayward youth traveling around having adventures, getting into trouble, and finding parental figures. The first of these youths is a wooden puppet voiced by Jonathan Taylor Thomas (THE LION KING).
I did see THE ADVENTURES OF PINOCCHIO at the time, and vaguely remembered it having a good puppet (by Jim Henson Creature Shop), an animated cricket, Udo Kier as the bad guy, and especially (since I was still cleaning theaters) two original Stevie Wonder songs on the end credits (“Kiss Lonely Good-Bye” and “Hold On To Your Dream,” and he also provided an instrumental called “Pinocchio’s Evolution”). I think I found it watchable enough. I always like animatronics and seeing different takes on Pinocchio, so I was down to watch it again.
It’s the fourth film from “Billie Jean” video director Steve Barron, following ELECTRIC DREAMS, TEENAGE MUTANT NINJA TURTLES and CONEHEADS – a master of movies with elaborate special effects that make them seem sort of good without being very actually good. In my opinion. It makes sense that this is from New Line Cinema. It’s a pretty New Line Cinema movie. (read the rest of this shit…)
Tags: Barry Berman, Bebe Neuwirth, Genevieve Bujold, Jim Henson Creature Workshop, Jonathan Taylor Thomas, Lisa Krueger, Martin Landau, Mary Kay Place, Rob Schneider, Scarlett Johansson, Steve Barron, Stevie Wonder, Tom Benedek, Udo Kier
Posted in Reviews, Drama, Family, Fantasy/Swords | 5 Comments »
Wednesday, July 29th, 2026
KAZAAM is one of those movies we all know as a punchline because “Shaquille O’Neal as a rapping genie” sounds more like a fake movie inside another movie than an actual thing that exists. The only one that’s guaranteed less existent is the other genie movie starring Sinbad that somehow became a shared delusion of millennials? I don’t even want to think about that shit.
But until now I hadn’t actually seen KAZAAM. It’s as ridiculous as I imagined and no higher in quality, but I suppose kind of different in some ways, so I found that mildly interesting. What I didn’t know from the reputation and the poster is that it follows in the tradition of some of the ‘80s comedies where it’s ostensibly a kids movie about baby shit but also it has crime and violence treated seriously, like an action movie of the time. Or at least the criminals are treated seriously. There’s a fight scene with genie Shaq throwing people through walls and it’s obviously pretty cartoony, but I noticed the stunt coordinator was Jeff Imada (RAPID FIRE, THE CROW) and stunt performers in the movie include Billy Blanks, James Lew and Jeannie Epper (seen earlier in the summer in the re-release of SWITCHBLADE SISTERS). (read the rest of this shit…)
Tags: Ally Walker, Da Brat, Fawn Reed, Francis Capra, James Acheson, Jeff Imada, John Costelloe, Marshall Manesh, Paul Michael Glaser, Shaquille O'Neal, Spinderella
Posted in Reviews, Comedy/Laffs, Family, Fantasy/Swords | 15 Comments »
Thursday, July 16th, 2026
“You’re an individual, and you know something? That makes people nervous. And it’s gonna keep makin’ people nervous your whole life.”
July 10, 1996
HARRIET THE SPY is a theatrical motion picture offering from Nickelodeon, television’s foremost purveyors of double dares and super-sloppiness. It does in fact include green slime splashing on the face of an outraged mother, plus its heroine being covered in blue paint. But what you may not guess about this movie is that it’s extremely artful. The slime is a brief instance, not a set piece, and the paint is striking imagery in a heartbreaking sequence when the titular Harriet M. Welsch (Michelle Trachtenberg, The Adventures of Pete & Pete) tries to hold her head high while the entire sixth grade turns against her. 
This is a really special movie that balances on overall feeling of quirkiness with an impressively naturalistic performance from the young lead. It paints a beautiful portrait of a city inhabited by different cultures and eccentrics and artists, while treating messy childhood emotions seriously. It’s about kids (and people in general) being curious about the world, following their passions, being their authentic selves, but trying not to mess up their friendships. I think it’s one of the great children’s movies of the era, though nobody else seemed to think so at the time. (read the rest of this shit…)
Tags: based on a classic children's book, Bronwen Hughes, Charlotte Sullivan, Don Francks, Douglas Petrie, Earth Kitt, Greg Taylor, Gregory Smith, J. Smith-Cameron, Jamshied Sharifi, Julie Talen, Louise Fitzhugh, Michelle Trachtenberg, Nickelodeon Movies, Robert Joy, Rosie O'Donnell, Theresa Rebeck, Vanessa Lee Chester
Posted in Reviews, Family | 24 Comments »
Wednesday, July 8th, 2026
July 2, 1996 (in video stores)
Until now I had never seen THEODORE REX. Obviously I always intended to see it – I’m not a heathen. But I took my time, and also I always got it confused with TAMMY AND THE T-REX. Thankfully this Slam Evil Summer series gave me motivation to finally see it, so now I know what it’s all about, at least to the extent that one can know that just from watching it.
I need to come up with a name for this type of movie. It’s most similar to SUPER MARIO BROS., which also has dinosaurs and cyperpunky stuff, so I’m kinda thinking DinoPunk, Dino Noir, something like that. But they’re fantasy world-building movies, usually set in a dystopian future or alternate world, they’re usually sold as kids movies and have some aggressively juvenile humor (often perpetrated by buffoonish henchmen with wacky voices) but otherwise don’t really seem like they’re made that much for kids (like, this one has a murder investigation complete with dinosaur autopsy). Also for some reason they tend to feature souped-up garbage trucks. But the most distinguishing feature is that they’re a big mess that seems full of the sort of colorful gimmicks and special effects I love (matte paintings and huge soundstage sets depicting stylized cities, animatronic creatures) but none of it really coheres and the whole thing is a slog. (read the rest of this shit…)
Tags: Armin Mueller-Stahl, Bud Cort, Carol Kane, DinoPunk, George Newbern, Joe Dallesandro, Jonathan R. Betuel, Juliet Landau, Peter Kwong, Richard Roundtree, Robert Folk, Stephen McHattie, Whoopi Goldberg
Posted in Reviews, Family, Science Fiction and Space Shit | 12 Comments »
Tuesday, May 19th, 2026
FLIPPER is a nice PG-rated movie about a teen named Sandy Ricks (Elijah Wood, NORTH) sent to spend the summer in the Florida Keys with his wildman uncle Porter (Paul Hogan a decade after CROCODILE DUNDEE, half a decade before CROCODILE DUNDEE IN LOS ANGELES). It’s a picturesque little island with nature and beauty and shit but this kid’s not into it. He shows up with round sunglassses, baggy jeans and a flannel tied around his waist, and his focus is on trying to arrange a boat to get him to a Red Hot Chili Peppers concert in Orlando that he somehow has two all access passes for.
Porter is an eccentric goof who has his a beat i[ p;dfishing trawler, feeds beer to a pelican, makes his toast with the aid of two nails and a welding torch, and mostly lives off of Spaghetti-Os because he bought a pallet of them for cheap from enterprising cruise ship employees. In his house we see bongos, a framed ENDLESS SUMMER poster, and a bunch of surfing trophies, and we first see him waterskiing with two babes while smoking a cigar. He is maybe dating a neighbor named Cathy (Chelsea Field, flight attendant from COMMANDO, Teela from the original MASTERS OF THE UNIVERSE), whose son Marvin (Jason Fuchs, who grew up to become the screenwriter of PAN and ARGYLLE) seems to be neuro-divergent, and thankfully Sandy is nice to him. (read the rest of this shit…)
Tags: Chelsea Field, dolphins, Elijah Wood, Isaac Hayes, Jessica Wesson, Jonathan Banks, Paul Hogan, Red Hot Chili Peppers
Posted in Reviews, Family | 13 Comments »
Monday, August 4th, 2025
The last super hero movie of summer 2005, and maybe the last kids movie too, is Disney’s SKY HIGH. It’s directed by Mike Mitchell (DEUCE BIGALOW: MALE GIGOLO), with a script originated in the ‘90s by Paul Hernandez, later rewritten by Bob Schooley & Mark McCorkle (creators of the cartoon Kim Possible, plus they wrote 7 episodes of the New Kids on the Block cartoon).
It’s a play on comic book super heroes, but not based on any existing ones, so it’s your basic dollar store super heroes with standard abilities, generic names and no real origins, they just genetically inherited powers. It’s the kind of comic book movie where the opening credits have to be in comic book font and there are drawings that do not look worthy of a comic book that dissolve into the live action shots. You know – like a comic book! Have you seen these? A bunch of little squares with stuff drawn in them.
Michael Angarano (last seen in LORDS OF DOGTOWN) stars as Will Stronghold, a kid whose parents are the world’s most famous super heroes, The Commander (Kurt Russell, last seen [briefly] in JIMINY GLICK IN LALAWOOD) and Jetstream (Kelly Preston, FOR LOVE OF THE GAME). He’s about to start attending Sky High, a secret school floating in the sky for the children of super heroes. But he’s kinda terrified because he hasn’t developed super powers, which seem to be related to and/or a symbol for puberty. So he’s very self conscious. (read the rest of this shit…)
Tags: Bob Schooley, Bruce Campbell, Danielle Panabaker, Dave Foley, Dee Jay Daniels, Jill Talley, Jim Rash, Kelly Preston, Kelly Vitz, Kevin Heffernan, Kevin McDonald, Kurt Russell, Mark McCorkle, Mary Elizabeth Winstead, Michael Angarano, Mike Mitchell, Nicholas Braun, Steven Strait, Tom Kenny
Posted in Reviews, Comedy/Laffs, Comic strips/Super heroes, Family | 16 Comments »
Monday, July 21st, 2025
July 22, 2005
I have a confession to make: I don’t think I’ve ever seen the original BAD NEWS BEARS movies in full. Parts, maybe. I know people love the first one. I don’t remember it. So this review comes from the rare perspective of a person who saw Richard Linklater’s remake in theaters and is returning to it after 20 years of still not seeing the original to find out why nobody seemed to think this stacked up to it. Ignorance is bliss!
For me the main movie to compare it to is BAD SANTA, which came from the same screenwriters, Glenn Ficarra & John Requa (CATS & DOGS). Obviously it’s not as good, but it’s the second best movie at presenting Billy Bob Thornton as an alcoholic asshole in a way that is somehow really funny and ultimately sweet in a way that doesn’t seem too phony because the guy is still an asshole, he just made a small gesture that shows he’s trying. This is a PG-13 family-friendly-ish sports movie, so the change is a little bigger than just wanting to give a stuffed elephant to a child after getting shot by the police, but it still maintains his acerbicness to pretty uncomfortable levels until the last couple innings of the big game. (read the rest of this shit…)
Tags: baseball, Billy Bob Thornton, Glenn Ficarra, Greg Kinnear, John Requa, Marcia Gay Harden, remakes, Richard Linklater
Posted in Reviews, Comedy/Laffs, Family, Sport | 26 Comments »
Friday, July 18th, 2025
July 15, 2005
I’d like to say Tim Burton’s CHARLIE AND THE CHOCOLATE FACTORY plays better now than it did then, but for me it’s the reverse. I can guess based on some costumes I saw when I went to see the 2023 movie WONKA that there are people who grew up on this one and still like it, but for people my age I felt alone in believing it even had some good qualities. It was disappointing because I had faith that Depp would have an interesting take on Wonka, and that faith was not rewarded. But I could point to many things I liked about it, so I felt a little protective when people said it was worthless.
I’m partial to both the 1964 book by Roald Dahl (or at least the version of it that existed in the ‘80s) and the 1971 film by Mel Stuart starring Gene Wilder. After a teacher read the book to us in class I decided Dahl was my favorite author – I read James and the Giant Peach, Fantastic Mr. Fox, Charlie and the Great Glass Elevator, Danny the Champion of the World, The Twits, George’s Marvelous Medicine, The BFG, The Story of Henry Sugar and Six More, Roald Dahl’s Revolting Rhymes, I’m not sure what else. I remember waiting what seemed like forever for The Witches on inter-library loan, and it was worth it. His dark sense of humor really appealed to me. His descriptions of awful people next to those scratchy Quentin Blake drawings. When I found out he wrote “Lamb to the Slaughter” (the short story turned into the Alfred Hitchcock episode about the woman who killed her husband with a frozen leg of lamb) I was amazed. When I found out he had a book for adults called Switch Bitch I giggled. (But I never read that one.) (read the rest of this shit…)
Tags: Alex McDowell, Christopher Lee, Deep Roy, Freddie Highmore, John August, Johnny Depp, Missi Pyle, Noah Taylor, Roald Dahl, Tim Burton
Posted in Reviews, Family, Fantasy/Swords | 16 Comments »
