Archive for the ‘Horror’ Category
Monday, June 30th, 2025
Somehow the Australian director Sean Byrne only has three movies. There was THE LOVED ONES (2009) and THE DEVIL’S CANDY (2015) and now a whole ten years later he has DANGEROUS ANIMALS. I liked all three of these, but this is the first one I caught in a theater, which required some initiative because it only lasted here a week. If you missed it you can watch it on VOD and it will eventually be on Shudder and I assume on disc.
The title refers to 1) sharks, 2) a maniac who feeds people to sharks for kicks and 3) (arguably/poetically) the protagonist, who we hope has the killer instinct to survive numbers one and two.
This is not as mean or hopeless as WOLF CREEK, but it reminds me of that movie because it creates a very Australian slasher in a very Australian setting. Instead of the outback this is the Gold Coast, it’s all surfing and sharks, and like WOLF CREEK it has a really knock out, darkly funny performance by the actor playing the killer. Even better, that actor is the once-mocked and underappreciated Jai Courtney. Everything about this movie is good, but he’s the main reason to watch it. (read the rest of this shit…)
Tags: Australian cinema, Ella Newton, Hassie Harrison, Jai Courtney, Josh Heuston, Sean Byrne, sharks
Posted in Reviews, Horror | 2 Comments »
Thursday, June 26th, 2025
June 24, 2005
In my (mostly embarrassing) review on The Ain’t It Cool News, I jokingly called George A. Romero’s LAND OF THE DEAD “the actual, genuine most anticipated movie of the summer,” despite all the excitement over the Batman one and the Star Wars one. I don’t know if that was true even for me, but it was certainly a long-awaited event. In the review I mentioned there had been other recent zombie works including 28 DAYS LATER and Zack Snyder’s DAWN OF THE DEAD remake, but my love of zombies was really more of a love of George Romero movies. There had not been one of those since BRUISER in 2000, there had not been a good one since THE DARK HALF in 1993, he had not been involved in a zombie one since the NIGHT OF THE LIVING DEAD remake in 1990, and hadn’t directed one since DAY OF THE DEAD in 1985. Twenty years. And now it’s been twenty years since that.
I really liked LAND OF THE DEAD at the time, and for a while after. But when I last watched it in 2017, having bought the Scream Factory special edition, I wasn’t as into it. I was hoping that would change this time, but I’m sorry to report that LAND OF THE DEAD just doesn’t do as much for me these days. And that’s a shame because it has plenty of cool ideas, and its central theme of the powerful living in luxury locked safely away from most of the world (including the people who actually do all the work they got rich off of) is somehow even more relevant now than it was then. (read the rest of this shit…)
Tags: Asia Argento, Bruce McFee, Dennis Hopper, Eugene Clark, Gene Mack, George Romero, Greg Nicotero, John Leguizamo, Krista Bridges, Pedro Miguel Arce, Phil Fondacaro, Robert Joy, Shawn Roberts, Simon Baker, zombies
Posted in Reviews, Horror | 20 Comments »
Wednesday, June 18th, 2025
THE UGLY STEPSISTER (Den Stygge Stesøsteren) is a 2025 movie from Norway, available on Shudder. If I’d seen it somewhere else I don’t know if I’d think of it as a horror movie exactly – more like a dark period drama with some magic, some blood, and some puke. But I’ve seen people call it “body horror,” and it’s the rare movie I’ve seen described that way that isn’t very Cronenbergian, so I support that. I read in Fangoria that the director calls it “beauty horror.” It has also been compared quite a bit to THE SUBSTANCE, and that’s nice because the similarities are all thematic. Otherwise they’re very different movies.
Confession: it took me embarrassingly long to put together that this is literally a retelling of Cinderella and not just making an allusion to it with that title. Let me say this: this ain’t your grandpa’s Cinderella! But it’s cool that your grandpa has his own version of Cinderella that he likes, I respect that.
The story centers on Elvira (Lea Myren), oldest daughter of Rebekka (Ane Dahl Torp, DEAD SNOW), who is about to remarry to older widower Otto (Ralph Carlsson), but during the wedding celebration he suddenly drops dead. While trying to comfort Otto’s daughter Agnes (Thea Sofie Loch Næss, THE LAST KING), Elvira learns that both partners thought the other was rich and were trying to marry for the money. Since younger sister Alma (Flo Fagerli) hasn’t had her period yet it now falls upon Elvira to save the family by marrying a prince. (read the rest of this shit…)
Tags: Ane Dahl Torp, Emilie Blichfeldt, fairy tales, Flo Fagerli, Lea Myren, Malte Gardinger, Thea Sofie Loch Naess
Posted in Reviews, Fantasy/Swords, Horror | 2 Comments »
Tuesday, May 27th, 2025
Peter Andrews
is
PRESENCE
Somehow in the last several years Steven Soderbergh became mostly a streaming guy. MAGIC MIKE’S LAST DANCE played theatrically, but other than that since 2019 it’s been HIGH FLYING BIRD and THE LAUNDROMAT on Netflix, LET THEM ALL TALK, NO SUDDEN MOVE, KIMI, the great mini-series Full Circle and the… app (?) Mosaic on HBO MAX, plus a web series called Command Z. So it’s good to have him (briefly) back on the big screen. PRESENCE was the first of two Soderbergh joints released in theaters this year. I caught BLACK BAG but this one came and went too fast for me despite being released by Neon.
That’s okay, it’s not one of his crowdpleasers, it’s one of his Soderbergh-wants-to-try-something movies. Small, simple, kinda raw, built around a simple conceit: a ghost movie from the point of view of the ghost. If you’re thinking “Oh shit, Soderbergh did his first horror movie!” I’d ask you to hold on a second. Technically I think it qualifies, but he’s definitely not aiming for the cover of Fangoria.
(read the rest of this shit…)
Tags: Callina Liang, Chris Sullivan, David Koepp, Eddy Maday, Julia Fox, Lucy Liu, Steven Soderbergh, West Mullholland
Posted in Reviews, Drama, Horror | 8 Comments »
Wednesday, May 21st, 2025
May 13, 2005
I think it’s fair to say that, at least at one time, Renny Harlin’s MINDHUNTERS held a revered status around here. When I reviewed it a couple years after it came out I was thoroughly won over by what I described as “a movie that is really fuckin dumb, but in a good way.” Many readers shared my joy and when, on some other review I can’t find right now, a commenter mentioned being a stand-in the the legendary liquid nitrogen kill scene, we treated him like a superstar. I hold much of this movie in my treasured cinematic memories that I bring up from time to time, but have I ever watched it a second time before now? Not that I remember. So this retrospective was a good idea.
(Note: I didn’t re-read the old review until after writing this one, so forgive me if there’s a little overlap.) (read the rest of this shit…)
Tags: Christian Slater, Clifton Collins Jr., Ehren Kruger, Eion Bailey, Kario Salem, Kathryn Morris, Kevin Brodbin, LL Cool J, Lucas Harper, Patricia Velasquez, Renny Harlin, Val Kilmer, Wayne Kramer, Will Kemp
Posted in Reviews, Crime, Horror, Mystery | 8 Comments »
Monday, May 19th, 2025
Summer is headed our way, there’s actually a slate of incoming would-be blockbusters I’m excited for this year, and this is also the season when I like to look back thoughtfully and/or nostalgically at memorable summers of the past. As with so many things I get in the habit of doing annually, I’ve painted myself into a corner – I’ve already written about so many movies and so many specific years that it becomes harder to find fresh ground. But on the positive side I’ve been reviewing movies for so god damn long that I can look back at a summer from during my career and realize that enough time has passed that I really could look at most of those movies with new eyes.
Case in point: the summer of 2005. Doesn’t sound like that long ago when I say it. I was definitely a grown adult at the time, and I’d been a self-appointed film critic for 5+ years, even self-published a best-of collection. But I have run the numbers and though of course I’m open to corrections on this I do believe that particular year was 20 (twenty) whole years ago at this time. (read the rest of this shit…)
Tags: Brian Van Holt, Carey Hayes, Chad Hayes, Chad Michael Murray, Damon Herriman, Dark Castle, Elisha Cuthbert, Jared Padalecki, Jaume Collet-Serra, Jon Abrahams, Paris Hilton, remakes, Robert Ri'chard
Posted in Reviews, Horror | 8 Comments »
Friday, April 25th, 2025
SINNERS is the first original story from writer/director Ryan Coogler. Not that it matters. After the true story of FRUITVALE STATION he added to fictional worlds and characters created by other people – CREED, BLACK PANTHER and BLACK PANTHER: WAKANDA FOREVER – but he sure seemed like a visionary to me. Working in such worn-out modern formats as “the legacy sequel” and “the MCU” didn’t stop him from constructing crowd-pleasing but deeply personal movies that transcend those categories.
So shit yeah I was excited for him to do a vampire movie. Say no more.
It’s set in the Mississippi Delta, 1932. After some years of infamy working for Al Capone in Chicago, “the Smokestack Twins,” Elijah “Smoke” Moore and Elias “Stack” Moore have returned to their home town of Clarksdale. Both are played by Michael B. Jordan (WITHOUT REMORSE), and they’re introduced passing a cigarette back and forth. Later one tosses his knife for the other to stab a rattlesnake through the throat with. After that they’re often separated, but the illusion has been established seamlessly.
I like that it takes its time getting to the vampires, instead making me really invested in the twins’ plan to set up a new juke joint (with the generic name “The Juke”) in one day. They buy an old saw mill from a very iffy white man (David Maldonado, CAT RUN 2), then split up and go around to people with the resources and talents they need, friends from way back who seem a little bitter or suspicious and hesitate before they see how much it pays but still seem to love them. Family, basically. Cornbread (Omar Benson Miller, HOMEFRONT), for example, just wants to stay picking cotton on the field he share crops, but seems very happy once he’s there watching the door. (read the rest of this shit…)
Tags: blues, Buddy Guy, Delroy Lindo, Hailee Steinfeld, Jack O'Connell, Jayme Lawson, Ku Klux Klan, Li Jun Li, Lola Kirk, Ludwig Goransson, Michael B. Jordan, Nathaniel Arcand, Omar Benson Miller, Saul Williams, vampires, Yao
Posted in Reviews, Horror | 23 Comments »
Tuesday, April 22nd, 2025
Recently I rewatched PRIEST (2011) for a podcast – I’ll link to it when the episode goes up (here it is: Vampire Videos #109). Do you remember that movie, though? Few do, but it’s one I really like, a post-apocalyptic vampire western action movie based on a Korean comic book. The director was Scott Stewart, a visual FX veteran (MARS ATTACKS!, THE LOST WORLD: JURASSIC PARK, THE HOST, RED CLIFF, co-founder of The Orphanage) who broke into directing with the weird angel-related action-horror movie LEGION (2010). Since then he’s directed the pilot for a TV continuation of LEGION called Dominion and a segment of the anthology HOLIDAYS, but only one full length feature: the close encounter movie DARK SKIES (2013). (I almost called it a UFO movie, but that’s not accurate, because we never see a space ship.)
This is the story of a middle class suburban family, the Barretts – real estate agent mother Lacy (Keri Russell, HONEY I BLEW UP THE KID), trying-to-find-a-new-job father Daniel (Josh Hamilton, MAESTRO), teenage son Jesse (Dakota Goyo, DEFENDOR, REAL STEEL) and younger brother Sammy (Kadan Rockett, “Mini Howie Mandel,” America’s Got Talent). They all have their normal human difficulties they’re going through and then one night Lacy gets up and finds the kitchen completely trashed, like an animal got in. Then another night she finds all the objects in the kitchen perfectly stacked and balanced, like a brilliant installation artist got in. And then all the family photos disappear, like a… I don’t know. Like something weird is going on here.
Increasingly bizarre things happen and what else can they do but in the moment be horrified by the inexplicability then in the sunlight the next day try to treat it like a normal problem with a normal way to deal with it. They talk to the cops, re-up their lapsed security system, add cameras. Surely something will work. (read the rest of this shit…)
Tags: aliens, Annie Thurman, Blumhouse, Dakota Goyo, J.K. Simmons, Josh Hamilton, Kadan Rockett, Keri Russell, L.J. Benet, Myndy Crist, Scott Stewart
Posted in Reviews, Horror, Science Fiction and Space Shit | 8 Comments »
Thursday, March 27th, 2025
Today instead of one regular-sized review I have two fun-sized looks at movies I saw in theaters last week. They are not making much money and might not last long, but I support the theatrical experience (please clap).
ASH is a low budget sci-fi movie produced by Shudder and directed by Flying Lotus, who I’m a little familiar with as a musician, but I have to confess I couldn’t make it very far into his previous cinematic effort, KUSO (2017). This doesn’t happen to me often but it was just too gross with its pervy opening segment about pustules and stuff. By comparison this one is normal and tolerable, but it still makes sense coming from the same director.
Eiza González (BLOODSHOT, CUT THROAT CITY, AMBULANCE) stars as Riya, a space traveler of some kind who wakes to find her ship in emergency mode, her entire crew dead (including one with a kitchen knife in his chest), not remembering what the fuck happened, or even who she is at first. She medicates herself to calm down (a patch that lights up when she puts it on her neck – nice future tech), wanders out onto the desolate planet where they’ve landed, looks up at cosmic mandalas in the sky, has little scary blips of flashbacks and begins to slowly remember some of the events leading up to this, including bonding with crew members Clarke (Kate Elliott, 30 DAYS OF NIGHT), Kevin (Beulah Koale, DUAL), Davis (Flying Lotus himself), and the captain, Adhi (oh shit, it’s Iko motherfuckin Uwais, MERANTAU, THE RAID, HEADSHOT, BEYOND SKYLINE, THE NIGHT COMES FOR US, TRIPLE THREAT, SNAKE EYES, FISTFUL OF VENGEANCE). (read the rest of this shit…)
Tags: Aaron Paul, Beulah Koale, Eiza Gonzalez, Flying Lotus, Iko Uwais, Kate Elliott, Looney Tunes, Shudder
Posted in Reviews, Cartoons and Shit, Horror, Science Fiction and Space Shit | 14 Comments »
Wednesday, March 26th, 2025
THE WICKED CITY (1992) is the Hong Kong version of WICKED CITY. I’m honestly not sure if it’s meant to be based on the anime or on the novels that the anime is based on, because it’s pretty different. It’s written and produced by the great Tsui Hark in a prolific year; 1992 saw the release of three movies he wrote, produced and directed (TWIN DRAGONS, ONCE UPON A TIME IN CHINA II and THE MASTER) and two others that he wrote and produced (SWORDSMAN II and NEW DRAGON GATE INN). Jeez, man, slow down.
As usual, there are claims that Tsui directed some of this himself. I wouldn’t be surprised if he second unit-ed some of the crazy action shit, but let’s not POLTERGEIST the actual director, who is Mak Tai Kit, a.k.a. Peter Mak (THE LOSER, THE HERO).
It opens in Japan (city unspecified in English subtitles of the DVD I watched), with a pared down remix of the anime’s opening. It skips the hero picking up the woman in a bar, replacing that character with a demon disguised as a prostitute named Perrier (Reiko Hayama, FEMALE NINJA MAGIC CHRONICLES), who does the kissing-while-going-up-an-elevator shot. In this version the john (Leon Lai from Ronny Yu’s SHOGUN & LITTLE KITCHEN) already knows what she is, goes into the bathroom and loads a gun before she sprouts claws and long legs – it’s genuinely very cool monster FX, though they’re unable to move her around enough to be nearly as creepy as in the animated version. Also there’s no venus flytrap snatch snapping at him. The same mistake most movies make. (read the rest of this shit…)
Tags: Jacky Cheung, Leon Lai, Lisa Be, live action anime, Mak Tai Kit, Michelle Reis, Reiko Hayama, Roy Cheung, Tatsuya Nakadai, Tsui Hark, Yuen Woo-Ping
Posted in Reviews, Action, Horror | 4 Comments »
