Archive for the ‘Action’ Category
Wednesday, November 26th, 2025
I was a child of the 1980s, but not of HBO or Showtime. That’s probly why I never saw DEATHSTALKER (1983) until last week. Still, I knew the idea of DEATHSTALKER enough to be excited when I read that it was getting a rebootmakemagining from writer/director Steven Kostanski, the Canadian goofball who gave us PSYCHO GOREMAN, FRANKIE FREAKO, the makeup effects for IN A VIOLENT NATURE, and more. My hopes got even higher when I learned that it would star Daniel Bernhardt, one of the great henchmen of the JOHN WICK era but not usually a leading man since his days headlining the BLOODSPORT sequels. He was fun in the ‘90s but now he’s more distinguished, he has a giant sword, and there’s goblins and magic and shit everywhere. Some things do get better.
I asked around, and it does not seem to be a controversial statement that the remake is way better than the original. I kinda enjoyed catching up with that one, it has more flavor than some of the other CONAN cash-ins, and Lana Clarkson is in it pre BARBARIAN QUEEN, but I’ve already pretty much forgotten it. People seem to be fonder of DEATHSTALKER II, which is played for intentional laughs (but also a little chintzier). I’d say Kostanski’s is way better than both, and kind of pitched in the middle of them tonally. It definitely has some great jokes in it but overall seems to be sincere in its goal of having a great time with the swords and the sorcery. It’s a swordablast. (read the rest of this shit…)
Tags: Christina Orjalo, Daniel Bernhardt, good remakes, Nina Bergman, Patton Oswalt, Slash, Steven Kostanski
Posted in Reviews, Action, Fantasy/Swords | 6 Comments »
Tuesday, November 25th, 2025
If you know me you know I love those Baby Assassins, the adorable pair of professional killers from the movies BABY ASSASSINS, BABY ASSASSINS 2 and BABY ASSASSINS 3, as well as the tv series Baby Assassins Everyday, which I’m currently watching now that it’s on Home Box Office Maximum. (You could start there, if you’re curious.) The Babies are two hilarious young Japanese women who have murdered for a living their whole lives but otherwise are total sweethearts who enjoy soups, desserts, friendship, etc. It’s hard to explain, but they’re the best.
So I didn’t need convincing when I heard some film festival hype about GHOST KILLER and I looked it up and saw it was BABY-adjacent. It’s written by BABY writer/director Yugo Sakamoto, and directed by BABY action director Kensuke Sonomura. You may also know him from directing HYDRA and BAD CITY or from choreographing John Woo’s MANHUNT. He’s developed one of the most distinct and consistent action styles of the modern era. You can’t really go wrong with Sonomura, and for better or worse this has more violence than desserts. (read the rest of this shit…)
Tags: Akari Takaishi, ghosts, Kensuke Sonomura, Mario Kuroba, Masanori Mimoto, Yugo Sakamoto
Posted in Reviews, Action, Martial Arts | 1 Comment »
Monday, November 24th, 2025
SISU: ROAD TO REVENGE came out Friday. It’s a sequel to the 2022 film SISU but they didn’t put a #2 in the title, so some friends of mine saw the trailer and weren’t aware it was a sequel. I think that’s wise marketing – this is an old school standalone approach to a sequel where you wouldn’t even have to know there was another one to understand or appreciate the story. So yes, see this one first if you want to, you have my permission. But if you like either one of them I recommend watching the other.
The appeal of SISU, and now of the SISU movie series, is pretty straightforward. Aatami Korpi (Jorma Tommila, RARE EXPORTS: A CHRISTMAS TALE) is a particularly Finnish bad motherfucker, a rugged and scarred ex-commando who looks more like a farmer than an action star. Stubbornness is his super power; he’ll never give up or give in, so he goes to hell and back and then back to hell again and pretty much just gets dunked repeatedly in hell until he’s totally soaked in it but he keeps clawing his way out again and anybody who does anything to him along the way dies horribly at his hands. And one important thing is that he never says a damn word the whole time, because what is there to say other than you chose the wrong Laplander to fuck with? His deeds speak for themselves
The first movie would be a clever and well executed action/revenge movie in any era, but it happened to come out when it was particularly enjoyable to see some fascists get fucked up. It took place at the end of WWII, when a band of fleeing Nazi pillagers tried to steal the gold nuggets Aatami just found, and got elaborately, joyously slaughtered for it. In Chapter 4, “The Legend” we learned the backstory that he was a Finnish commando during the Winter War, when the murder of his family John-Wick-ed him into becoming a mythical “one-man death squad” known for killing over 300 Soviet soldiers. In SISU: ROAD TO REVENGE he will get a surprise opportunity to directly avenge his family while just trying to accomplish one task that he refuses to give up on. (read the rest of this shit…)
Tags: Finland, Jalmari Helander, Jorma Tommila, Richard Brake, Stephen Lang
Posted in Reviews, Action | 3 Comments »
Wednesday, November 19th, 2025
Okay, I’m gonna be up front about this: RED SONJA (2025) is a movie that I kinda liked, but it took some effort. It’s an underdog movie, you kinda gotta be rooting for it to work, I don’t know if it’s gonna win over anybody standing there with their arms folded. But maybe I’m wrong. It has a sincerity to it. It doesn’t seem self conscious. That can go a long way.
It’s set in the land of Hyrkania during the Hyborian Age. When Sonja (Matilda Lutz from the excellent Coralie Fargeat movie REVENGE) was a child her village was raided and she fled. (Unlike in some of the ’80s barbarian movies we don’t have to specify what horrible things the raiders did.) Since then somehow she became a hell of a fighter and lives tribeless in the forest, searching for her people. (read the rest of this shit…)
Tags: M.J. Bassett, Martyn Ford, Matilda Lutz, Michael Bisping, Rhona Mitra, Robert E. Howard, Robert Sheehan, Tasha Huo, Wallis Day
Posted in Reviews, Action, Fantasy/Swords | 6 Comments »
Thursday, November 13th, 2025
At some point on this here internet I started seeing people refer to the alien species from the PREDATOR movies as “Yautja.” I sure never noticed anybody calling them that in the movies. Looking it up now I have learned it comes from a 1994 book called Aliens Vs Predator: Prey by Steve Perry and Stephani Perry*, which is a novelization of the original Aliens Vs Predator comics. Okay, so it seems the word has been around for a while, but still – Yautja mind if you think I’m gonna call those things anything other than Predators. That has always been my stance.
So I laughed when the very first thing on screen in the new movie PREDATOR: BADLANDS was the word “Yautja.” They use the word dozens of times, conservatively. So it’s official now – they’re Yautja, from the planet Yautja Prime. But in this review they’re Predators. (read the rest of this shit…)
Tags: Benjamin Wallfisch, Cameron Brown, Dan Trachtenberg, Dimitrius Schuster-Koloamatangi, Elle Fanning, Jacob Tomuri, Mike Homik, Patrick Aison, Reuben De Jong, Sarah Schachner, Vincent Bouillon
Posted in Reviews, Action, Monster, Science Fiction and Space Shit | 15 Comments »
Tuesday, October 14th, 2025
(there will be spoilers)
I was pretty sure I’d like Paul Thomas Anderson’s ONE BATTLE AFTER ANOTHER, but I was surprised to walk out feeling it was the movie of the year. That’s not only because it speaks so deeply to our exact moment of political insanity, but because it’s such an exhilarating viewing experience – confident, masterful filmmaking, very effective as a thriller, but also extremely funny, absurd and original. It’s possibly Anderson’s most traditionally entertaining movie but it doesn’t feel in any way watered down or compromised.
I saw it in bona fide IMAX, where its Vista Vision format fills the entire screen, so the anxiety-inducing score by Johnny Greenwood rumbles in your jaw as you stare at a scraggly, sweaty, 37-foot-tall Leonardo DiCaprio face fretting and scowling. Then sometimes it switches to a taller version of a Sergio-Leone-type-shot where two tiny characters stand apart on opposite sides of the screen. That’s the full range of cinema right there.
The credits say this was inspired by (not adapted from) the book Vineland by Thomas Pynchon. I was surprised when I learned that character names like Perfidia Beverly Hills, Virgil Throckmorton and Junglepussy didn’t come from the book. These little heightened details spike a mostly naturalistic feeling world with exaggeration and draw attention to the authentic ridiculousness of our world. Sometimes that feels more real than if it was realistic. (read the rest of this shit…)
Tags: Benicio Del Toro, Chase Infiniti, Eric Schweig, Leonardo DiCaprio, Paul Thomas Anderson, Sean Penn, Teyana Taylor, Thomas Pynchon
Posted in Reviews, Action, Comedy/Laffs, Drama, Thriller | 20 Comments »
Thursday, October 2nd, 2025
Man, this new straight-to-Amazon-Prime movie PLAY DIRTY is some kind of monkey’s paw shit for me. It’s the great Shane Black (THE NICE GUYS) writing and directing for the first time in seven years, returning to crime movies for the first time in nine years, and it’s based on my favorite crime series ever, Richard Stark’s Parker books. The catch is that most of what I want from a Shane Black movie (such as the quippy dialogue) I definitely do not want in a Parker adaptation, and they originally had Robert Downey, Jr. cast in the role, which seemed like a problem. Could he really seem intimidating enough to be Parker, and more importantly would he even know how to shut the fuck up with his little smart ass comments? I didn’t think he would.
But I wish I could’ve found out, because Downey got replaced with Mark Wahlberg (PLANET OF THE APES), also a poor fit but in a less intriguing way. Downey is a totally different type than the character, while Wahlberg sorta aspires to being the right type, he just doesn’t have enough of it. I know people dislike him now due to past crimes, dumbass interviews and lowered quality standards, but I’m too old to entirely let go – I haven’t forgotten that exciting alchemy of the most uncool pop rapper of the ‘90s winning us over with a great performance in BOOGIE NIGHTS, nor have I forsaken THE BIG HIT, THREE KINGS, I HEART HUCKABEES, THE DEPARTED, THE OTHER GUYS, THE FIGHTER, etc. So it’s not Marky Markophobia when I say he doesn’t seem believably cunning enough, or intimidating enough. The other characters have to treat him as if he is, but I don’t quite buy it. I don’t feel it. I don’t feel the vibrations. (read the rest of this shit…)
Tags: Alan Silvestri, Anthony Bagarozzi, Charles Mondry, Gretchen Mol, heists, Keegan-Michael Key, LaKeith Stanfield, Parker, Richard Stark, Shane Black, Tony Shalhoub
Posted in Reviews, Action, Comedy/Laffs | 57 Comments »
Wednesday, October 1st, 2025
My recent revisit of THE BROTHERS GRIMM (2005) pushed me to finally get around to seeing HANSEL & GRETEL: WITCH HUNTERS (2013). I had wondered whether they were kind of in the same genre and yeah, turns out they’re more similar than I even guessed. Just like Gilliam’s movie this one starts out with a fairy tale inspired childhood flashback, then tells the story of a pair of traveling supernatural expert siblings hired to help a small town where the children have gone missing. Both movies even have Peter Stormare (GET THE GRINGO) as a cartoonish bad guy (this time he’s the sheriff who gets a chunk of his nose bit off by Gretel).
The major distinction is that they’re not con artists or skeptics – as the title suggests, Hansel (Jeremy Renner immediately following a run of THE TOWN, GHOST PROTOCOL, THE AVENGERS and THE BOURNE LEGACY) and Gretel (Gemma Arterton, CLASH OF THE TITANS) grew up to become witch hunters, and this being a twenty-teens studio movie that means they wear cool leather outfits, have fancy steam punk shotguns and crossbows, do lots of slo-mo spins and flips and what not. Yes, that kind of sounds like a parody movie-within-a-movie meant to satirize Hollywood excess (like something from LAST ACTION HERO, or the Max Landis action version of Huckleberry Finn from the pilot of Jean-Claude Van Johnson). Fortunately writer/director Tommy Wirkola (DEAD SNOW, VIOLENT NIGHT) takes the ABRAHAM LINCOLN: VAMPIRE HUNTER route of keeping a straight face and trying to make it cool instead of giving in to the temptation to prove to the audience that he’s in on the joke. I was worried for a second because there’s a joke at the beginning about drawings of missing children on milk bottles, but that was a one time occurrence. (read the rest of this shit…)
Tags: Alice Krige, Brothers Grimm, David Leitch, Derek Mears, Famke Janssen, Fiona O'Shaugnessy, Gemma Arterton, Ingrid Bolso Berdal, Jeremy Renner, Osgood Perkins, Peter Stormare, Robin Atkin Downes, Sam Hargrave, Samuel Leakey, Sophia Lillis, Thomas Mann, Tommy Wirkola, Zoe Bell
Posted in Reviews, Action, Fantasy/Swords, Horror | 7 Comments »
Thursday, September 25th, 2025
TORNADO (2025) is not a disaster movie, and the title isn’t even (primarily) a metaphor. It’s the name of its protagonist, played by Japanese singer and actress Kōki, (yes, according to the credits there is a comma in her name). It’s set in Scotland in 1790, and she’s the disaffected daughter/assistant to Fujin (Takehiro Hira, HARA-KIRI: DEATH OF A SAMURAI, SNAKE EYES), an ex-samurai turned traveling marionette performer.
We’ll find that out later in flashbacks. But for a while we just see her in a wind storm (not tornado), running from a mob of scary thugs led by Sugarman (Tim Roth, THE MUSKETEER), slipping into a mansion and hiding as the goons storm in, pushing the occupants out of the way to search for what they say is a girl about this high and a boy about this high. We don’t have to know who she is or what they want from her to know fuck these guys, and to be thrilled by the well-executed cat-and-mouse sequences involving rotting floorboards.
It was the samurai aspect that got me to rent this on VOD, but it largely feels like a western, and it has a slow burn revenge angle to it. Don’t worry, it’s a 91 minute slow burn, not a torturous one, and it has a real strong mood and atmosphere that made it captivating to me. Director John Maclean (SLOW WEST), cinematographer Robbie Ryan (THE FAVOURITE, MARRIAGE STORY) and production designer Elizabeth El-Kadhi (ONE SHOT) have somehow concocted endlessly pleasing imagery within a grey and barren landscape. And it has a really effective score of menacing percussion, folksy strings and eerie organ by the Australian musician Jed Kurzel, who scored all the movies directed by his brother Justin (THE ORDER) as well as THE BABADOOK, ALIEN: COVENANT, THE NIGHTINGALE, OVERLORD, THE POPE’S EXORCIST and MONKEY MAN. But I wouldn’t underestimate the power of all the quiet scenes where you can hear the wind, so shout out to sound designer Alexej Mungersdorff. (read the rest of this shit…)
Tags: arthouse badass, Jack Lowden, Jed Kurzel, John Maclean, Koki, Raphael Thiery, Robbie Ryan, Rory McCann, samurai, Scotland, Takehiro Hira, Tim Roth
Posted in Reviews, Action, Western | 3 Comments »
Wednesday, September 24th, 2025
You know how much I love those Baby Assassins, the young women in the movie series from writer/director Yugo Sakamoto. Chisato (Akari Takaishi) is an energetic, giggly anime girl come to life, Mahiro (Saori Izawa) is her dour bleach blond best friend, they were raised to murder for money, a job they’re very good at, but that they try to just get over with so they can pursue their passions such as enjoying desserts and making soup and going to restaurants.
In BABY ASSASSINS (2021) they had graduated high school so their organization made them find an apartment and day jobs. In BABY ASSASSINS 2 (2023) they had to get out of an enormous debt because they forgot they signed up for an elite assassin gym membership and ignored all the bills. There’s plenty of absurd humor about the bureaucratic operations of this underworld, but the main attraction is obviously the excellent fights, action directed by Kensuke Sonomura (MANHUNT, HYDRA, BAD CITY). Izawa is a veteran stunt pro (doubling the lead of the RUROUNI KENSHIN movies) while Takaishi is an actress, but they both acquit themselves well in long, brutal battles. I like how in this little scene where they play fight on the beach Izawa can’t help but go into a serious fight stance and reveal the muscles she usually keeps hidden under baggy clothes.
(read the rest of this shit…)
Tags: Atsuko Maeda, Mondo Otani, Saori Izawa, Sosuke Ikematsu, Yugo Sakamoto
Posted in Reviews, Action, Martial Arts | 10 Comments »
