“I’m Paul Barlow, and this is my daughter Jo.”

“Malone.”

“You got a first name?”

“Yeah.”

Captain Marvel

Marvel has been on a roll for a while now. I guess it’s inevitable that when you release extra colorful and ambitious movies like GUARDIANS OF THE GALAXY VOL. 2, SPIDER-MAN: HOMECOMING, THOR: RAGNAROK, BLACK PANTHER, and AVENGERS: INFINITY WAR all within two or three years then some of the other stuff you put out is gonna seem less impressive. Like, DOCTOR STRANGE was pretty good fun and ANT-MAN AND THE WASP has plenty of laughs and now we have CAPTAIN MARVEL, a perfectly fine movie I enjoyed watching similar to how I enjoyed watching the first THOR. Like that one it’s a pretty cool, well-cast new character who comes to our world from sort of an iffy fantastical one, has some pretty cool, sometimes funny fish-out-of-water interactions with humans, and fights some bad guys from her world in a small town without many people around.

Not bad, but how are you gonna get ’em back on THOR once they’ve seen RAGNAROK? We take the cool characters for granted now and we expect better style, better jokes, better spectacle. At least that’s how I feel. It’s worth mentioning that most of the women I’ve talked to about it liked CAPTAIN MARVEL better than most of the men I’ve talked to, so there may be things we’re not appreciating.

Brie Larson (GREENBERG) plays Vers, a glowing-super-fisted soldier of the alien Kree civilization, at war with the green-faced Skrulls, who crash lands on Earth and starts to remember a life here as Carol Danvers, hotshot Air Force flying ace/top gun/iron eagle. The story takes place in 1995, a detail cleverly introduced by having her land in a Blockbuster Video decorated with TRUE LIES and BABE standees. Quickly on the scene are S.H.I.E.L.D. agents Nick Fury (Samuel L. Jackson, THE RETURN OF SUPERFLY) and Phil Coulson (Clark Gregg, TYSON), both digitally de-aged. At this point apparently they know about super powers, but not aliens until Fury trails along with Danvers and witnesses Skrulls shapeshifting into and out of humans.

Ben Mendelsohn (ANIMAL KINGDOM) plays the main Skrull character, but luckily he gets to be a little goofy and break out of that arrogant lead villain slot I worried he was stuck in after ROGUE ONE and ROBIN HOOD. Their conflict turns out to be more interesting than just good guys and bad guys, sending Danvers on a journey of questioning what she’s been taught and what side she should be on. It’s an anti-war movie and a protect-refugees movie, but of course all the hype is about it being a girl power movie. Note that Marvel released BLACK PANTHER in Black History Month and this on International Women’s Day. In a legitimate step forward they have their first female co-director (Anna Boden and Ryan Fleck are the team that wrote HALF NELSON and directed SUGAR and MISSISSIPPI GRIND) and composer (Pinar Toprak, Krypton), and the screenplay is credited to the directors plus Geneva Robertson-Dworet (TOMB RAIDER), Nicole Perlman (GUARDIANS OF THE GALAXY) and Meg LeFauve (INSIDE OUT).

I don’t understand the silly-pantses that you hear about on the internet who oppose the small strides in diversity we’ve been starting to see in recent movies. We should be happy for people of all backgrounds to have more chances to see themselves represented on screen, but also who the fuck can’t watch a movie and identify with a hero who’s different from them? I mean I got news for you buddy, you’re no Arnold Schwarzenegger either, I don’t know how you can live vicariously through Dutch covering himself in mud to fight the Predator but it’s too hard to imagine yourself having something in common with a lady. Anyway, you’re depriving yourself.

Of course that’s not to say there aren’t things specific to a female experience that I’m not gonna pick up on. I believe this is the first Marvel movie to center on friendships between females, including best friend Maria Rambeau (Lashana Lynch) and boss Brilliant Scientist Lady (Annette Bening, “Vicky” on the Miami Vice season 3 episode “Red Tape”), as well as Maria’s daughter Monica (Akira Akbar), who idolizes Carol. That last part verged on the too-saccharine for me at times, but I later read that Monica is a future super hero character, so I guess it’s setting things up. The other sweet non-threatening feminism I see is that Captain Marvel (FEMINISM SPOILER) realizes she has to reject the teachings of her male mentor and find her own solutions not based in the militaristic ways of both of her peoples. (Admittedly this is something she vows to do in the future. We have yet to see how she stops a war.)

I also like the symbolism of changing her costume and using her powers as expressions of her true self and fulfilling her potential instead of letting a dude hold her back. And I like that when she shoots at the TRUE LIES standee she hits Arnold but not Jamie Lee Curtis, which I think is a fair judgment of their characters.

There’s arguably more going on beneath the surface than in most Marvels – unfortunately I’d say there’s less going on on the surface. The Skrulls kept reminding me of demons on that TV show Angel, and most of the big scenes take place in generic locations like Rocky Desert Area or Space Station Equivalent of Warehouse. It seems to hark back to the earlier Marvel movies that didn’t distinguish themselves much visually. One exception is the cool part where she flies around in a mohawk helmet with some kind of laser grid face-covering.


I assumed the FX involved in smoothing out Samuel L. Jackson meant he’d be a smaller part than the trailers implied. In fact this might be the most Fury-heavy one so far. Though the artificial youth is a little odd, the only time I found it distracting was a scene where he runs down a hall and I thought “They couldn’t get a double for this one scene to make him run better?” But maybe I should respect that he wanted to do it. Or maybe it’s a character choice. Maybe Fury never could run very good.

Since this is supposed to be the year of DIE HARD WITH A VENGEANCE, I wish there was one shot where they clearly just pasted Larson’s face over Bruce Willis. At one point when they were in a car chase I heard a little LETHAL WEAPONish guitar noodling on the score and I hoped it would go full-on buddy action movie, but that doesn’t quite happen. You know I’d forgive the low levels of crazy comic book shit if all the normal urban stuff looked and felt like a legit action movie. It could be twenty-first-century big budget I COME IN PEACE!

Though she’s super-powered, the Captain also receives fight training from her mentor Alien Jude Law. The moves look pretty good and shot clearly but it keeps cutting too fast. I read that they tried to get Keanu for the Law role, and that would’ve been a huge waste of his talents, but he could’ve had a talk with them about longer takes. Anyway the fight coordinator is Walter Garcia (SPY, X-MEN: APOCALYPSE). Second unit director is Jeff Habberstad (WALKING TALL, JARHEAD, AvP:R, THE LAST AIRBENDER). Stunt coordinators are Hank Amos (THE PURGE sequels) and James M. Churchman (X-MEN: DAYS OF FUTURE PAST, FIRST MAN). Larson’s stunt double is Joanna Bennett, who has also doubled Amber Heard, Nicole Kidman and Gal Gadot in the DC Universe.

You know what people seem to really get a kick out of? Old technology. They have a joke about our heroine from an advanced civilization not understanding why you have to sit and wait for a 1995 computer to load a program. But the crowd was laughing before they got to the joke. Ha, old computers. Stupid.

See, the other star besides Larson and Jackson is the ’90s. If you’re around my age you might share my feelings of “Oh shit, we’re old now, huh?” This movie fills me with a swirl of conflicting “This is for my people!” and “They think we’re gonna fall for this bullshit?” instincts instilled in my generation from birth. The soundtrack is packed with ’90s songs we all heard a million times back then whether or not we paid attention. Not one of them will make you say, “Ooh, that’s an interesting choice.” None are my favorite songs and none are objectionable. One of them (“Waterfalls” by TLC) was not really my thing at the time, but eventually over the years you just realize certain pop songs are undeniably good, and those are gonna make you smile if they come on the radio either in your car or in Captain Marvel’s. You can’t help that.

I turned to my special lady afterwards and asked “Is that our generation’s version of the FORREST GUMP soundtrack? Or our THE BIG CHILL?” But she pointed out that they at least emphasize female singers to fit with the material. There’s at least that level of curation. There’s some R.E.M. and a prominent placement of Nirvana’s “Come As You Are” that felt a little blasphemous to me, but otherwise it’s Hole, Garbage, Elastica, Salt-N-Pepa, Heart, Lita Ford and that song “You Gotta Be” by Des’ree. The one I thought worked best was No Doubt’s “Just a Girl” during a fight scene, but I seem to be alone in that.

In the movie’s defense, “You Gotta Be” was the only one I could find on a Now That’s What I Call the 1990s compilation CD. For TLC they had “No Scrubs.”

You know, I somehow missed the joke in the Stan Lee cameo, that he was practicing his lines for MALLRATS. Now that I get it I like it. I’ve heard that it doesn’t make sense because how could MALLRATS exist in the Marvel Universe when they discuss Marvel Comics in MALLRATS, but I think it’s an homage to the kids watching SCREAM 2 in HALLOWEEN: H20 even though in SCREAM they watched HALLOWEEN.

I didn’t think CAPTAIN MARVEL was as dependent on its links to the other Marvel movies as I’d heard. There are lots of little connections, but you mostly don’t need to know them to understand what’s going on. In fact, having seen the other movies is what made me confused about the timeline of the Tesseract. Not a big deal, though.

There are other parts that felt a little clunky to me. At the beginning when Vers first starts fighting and being funny it feels like the pay off to some introduction and build up that we didn’t really get. And there’s a sequence with Skrull voices talking as they sift through her memories that seemed like a rough cut to me, something that will be cool once they get it figured out. I wish it was slicker. To me it doesn’t feel as effortless and confident as other Marvel movies. But the things I really like, that seem like small pleasures to me, might be bigger from other angles and overpower that.

An advantage the Marvel movies have is that the ones we consider to be lesser are still part of a larger work. Thor, Black Widow and the recast Bruce Banner have become beloved characters far beyond what you could’ve guessed from their so-so first movies. If this isn’t the best possible introduction to Captain Marvel that won’t’ necessarily matter. In the mid-credits scene (MID-CREDITS SCENE SPOILER) when she suddenly appears behind the Avengers, answering the call from the end of INFINITY WAR (from the pager that Fury luckily had in the back seat of his car after 24 years!), my instinctive response was “YES!” And then when I thought about it more I thought, “Wait, what is she supposed to do? Punch Thanos with her super fists?” The movie doesn’t really tell us why she’d have any better chance than the rest of them to deal with half of the human race having been turned into piles of ashes. But as long as ENDGAME does tell us, nobody will be the wiser.

This entry was posted on Wednesday, March 13th, 2019 at 10:57 am and is filed under Comic strips/Super heroes, Reviews, Science Fiction and Space Shit. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can skip to the end and leave a response. Pinging is currently not allowed.

81 Responses to “Captain Marvel”

  1. I think her role in Endgame will be using her powers to enable to core team to beat Thanos, like helping them hop dimensions or time travel or something. I don’t think she will beat him herself – that would be kind of hacky and “deus ex machina.” Also, since her powers come from the Tesseract, maybe she can’t affect him as long as he holds the Space Gem?

    P.S. I liked the movie a lot but agree that it feels “Phase 1-y.” I think it is maybe the best Marvel movie for little kids that I’ve seen in a while though – very little that wouldn’t be appropriate for 7-8 year olds

  2. I’m glad this exists and I’m happy for all the young women (or just people!) this is going to inspire, but it’s a lower-tier MCU entry to me. I think maybe the directors just weren’t ready for a jump into the big leagues yet? I dunno, but it seemed like every few minutes-right up to the very end where she’s floating in space without her helmet all of a sudden-there’s some plot hole or contrivance or a leap or lapse in logic or just some clunky exposition or dialogue that just took me right out of the movie.

    I still had fun with it, of course, but I wanted to like it way more than I actually did. And hoo boy, ‘Just a Girl’ did NOT work for me as musical accompaniment to a fight scene and I remember cruising around listening to it in high school.

    Finally, there have always been Marvel Comics IN Marvel Comics, so MALLRATS can totally exist in the MCU. The nerds complaining about that are fake nerds and should be ignored. Besides, that was such a funny and deep cut of a cameo that it kept me from considering real-world circumstances, which was what it needed to do.

  3. 1. The credit Vern gives to Bening is my favorite “you may know this actor from” in a long long time, if not forever.

    2. Special lady? Is this a revelation, or have I been away?

  4. U liked this quite a bit, and I do feel overall people are being too hard on it. It’s no RAGNAROK or ENDGAME…but very few movies are.

    It is a victim of coming after a string of really good ones however…I will agree on that.

    Loved the cat and even liked the I’m Just A Girl scene. I’m well aware it was corny…but I’m fine with corny.

  5. “who the fuck can’t watch a movie and identify with a hero who’s different from them? I mean I got news for you buddy, you’re no Arnold Schwarzenegger either, I don’t know how you can live vicariously through Dutch covering himself in mud to fight the Predator but it’s too hard to imagine yourself having something in common with a lady. Anyway, you’re depriving yourself.”

    This may be the most relevant takedown of MRAs I’ve ever seen.

  6. I don’t know, F. Fred. I, for one, HAVE covered myself in mud to take down a Predator. You guys should be careful about what you speak.

    On a seemingly related note (that note being idiocy), I had a MAGA person telling me today — with absolutely no sense of irony whatsoever, mind you — that she couldn’t stand it when Martin Sheen showed up in political commercials. She said, “It’s not like playing a president on television qualified him to speak knowledgeably about politics.”

  7. People have no sense of history, despite all this information being readily available. It’s frustrating.

    When that Spielberg doc last year had him saying Temple of Doom was his least favorite Indy, a lot of grown ups acted like this was new information (he’s been saying it since Last Crusade. It’s on the DVD’s.)

    On a serious note, I realize a lot of people watching Leaving Neverland were hearing about Michael jackson’s abuse for the first time. I recognize that Someone could have just missed that ‘90s scandal but you’d think for such a big star and widely publicized case, some inkling of it would remain in the public consciousness.

  8. I would put this in the upper bottom of the middle level of the Marvel filmography, probably somewhere just above THOR 2 and just below SPIDER-MAN HOMECOMING, but don’t quote me on that one because Captain Marvel choice of Lita Ford’s “Kiss Me Deadly”—inarguably the greatest rock song ever sung by a person of the female persuasion—makes me far more likely to want to hang out with her than with Peter Parker, who would probably choose that one fucking Bare Naked Ladies song and call it a golden oldie or something. The film is fun, light, and colorful, and it has some beloved characters doing something different for a chance, a timely message, and a kind heart. It’d probably be at ANT-MAN or DR. STRANGE levels if the visuals were a little more interesting (admittedly, that’s partially the fault of the material’s inherent imagery; it’s hard to do much new with blue aliens, hand lasers, and spaceship hallways that hasn’t been done a million times before). But a B-list Marvel movie is still better than just about any other franchise’s A-list so I felt satisfied.

    Personally, I think it would have worked better if they switched the No Doubt and Hole songs. “Celebrity Skin” has all the piss and vinegar you’d want for a fight scene, while “Just A Girl” is the kind of too-clever-by-half musical choice that’s best used to sum up a film after it’s over, not to comment on the action while it’s happening.

    I’m not sure why Nirvana is in there at all, especially in a scene that plays out in CM’s head. She disappeared in ’89 before grunge was even invented and was shown to still be rocking out to cock-rock anthems. A totally inscrutable musical choice. If they just wanted a dope bass line that Breeders song is RIGHT THERE.

    I like Hole better than Nirvana anyway. Catchier choruses and the anger feels more earned, more lived in, more righteous. Fight me.

  9. *Captain Marvel’s choice of “Kiss Me Deadly” AS A KARAOKE SONG” is what I meant to say, in my opinion, but I can’t be sure, since I’ve spent more time in the last 24 hours in the DMV than in bed and I’m not sure my brain is functioning properly.

  10. I think this is a pretty ok movie, it wasn’t a character I was familiar with but I like Brie Larson, fair enough. Messy structure – big time – but it resolved itself on a second viewing and it stacks up ok. I wish they’d done more with the setting, it doesn’t feel distinct enough from the wider serious – it seems more like they referenced the 90s rather than portrayed them, if you get me.

    Weird to think a ton of the audience weren’t born when this film was set. Sorry for making you feel old.

    I had a big problem though, one I’m really surprised ain’t getting talked about a lot. The lighting in this thing is beyond terrible. I don’t think I’ve ever seen a blockbuster like it. So many scenes – including ones that take place in broad daylight – aren’t lit from the front so you end up just not being able to make out both eyes. Sam Jackson meeting Larson in the car park is an example of this. You can’t make out his face properly when they’re shooting him front on. He’s standing outside in the blazing son, there’s nothing shading his face. But you just can’t see it. It takes a lot away from Ben Mendelsohn’s (excellent) performance too – in that scene where he’s drinking soda out of a cup – you can’t see both his eyes. Quite a few of Jude Law’s little team you literally never get a clear look at.

    It isn’t just a matter of being too dim either. There’s a few scenes that aren’t composed very sensibly – so there’ll be a bright light somewhere were you’re eye isn’t meant to be drawn to and you’ll end up not looking where you’re supposed to. A few examples of this would be the scene with Jude Law and the skrull in the barn/outhouse/shed thing. The window is absolutely blazing in the middle of the frame. Same when Ben Mendelsohn’s drinking that drink with the door window behind Brie Larson. And obviously the strip lighting on the spaceship at the end is a nightmare for this. Not the worst composition but perhaps most egregious is the scene where she picks out her new colours. The living room behind her through the door, while only lit warmly, is brighter than she is. You cannot make out the colours at one of the film’s big ass moments. Compared to Aquaman’s similar beat – when he gets his gold outfit – it is really night and day.

    It absolutely astonished me – in a bad way – right from the start. The (SPOILERS, pals) twist with Jude Law’s team, while obviously heavily telegraphed, doesn’t have the emotional impact it should have cos you basically never see their faces cos they spend the second act sat in a dark room somewhere, and in the scenes they are in they’re not lit properly. Made worse cos they’re painted blue. I felt gutted from a few minutes in because of this and it stopped me from enjoying an otherwise solid film. I dunno. So much of the action had me totally confused cos I couldn’t see how was getting hit. Usually that’d be cos of the shaky camera and quick edits – but this time it was just cos the frame wasn’t bright enough to effectively convey its contents. How the fuck does that happen?

    I think they were trying to keep the indie vibe by having a more naturalistic lighting set-up. But it didn’t work and the film looks like actual hot trash because of it. I’ve seen people compare it to Civil War – in that they picked some boring locations. I think CW drops the ball in places (the car park battle shot is infamous now) but a little flat and unimaginative isn’t the same as outright incompetent, which this film really is.

    I paid to go back and see it a second time, in 2D, because I assumed the bulb was too dim or something. Nope, it just has a genuinely catastrophic lighting set-up. The lack of discussion about this on the general internet has *really* surprised me, and worried me a little because they need to to fix this shit. I hope the directors are not brought back for CM2.

  11. steven: I also knew almost nothing about the character ahead of time. Wasn’t it nice to sit down and not have any idea what was about to happen? I knew she was super powerful and Samuel Jackson was in it and there was a cat. That’s it. I don’t know how I managed it but it was a rare treat to go in that cold on a movie this big.

  12. Majestyk – You sold me on switching the two songs. That would work better.

    I wonder if there will ever be a re-evaluation of Courtney Love? Obviously she’s burned a ton of bridges, but I feel like she’s been disrespected horribly since the beginning. People give Kurt credit for her music, blame her for his death (sometimes accusing her of murder!), act like it’s okay to hate her while worshiping the guy who loved, married and had a kid with her. Also, he was unfortunately a drug addict too, who is to say he wouldn’t be as much or more of a mess than her if he’d stayed around? Or if he was the one who very publicy lost his spouse and had to raise his daughter alone? I feel like people are crueler about her addiction than about male rock stars with the same issues. Same thing with Amy Winehouse.

    Steven – I honestly didn’t notice anything unusual about the cinematography. Thought it was kind of bland. Your 2D screening wasn’t on the same screen as the 3D one, was it? I’m wondering if there was a lens problem, but maybe you’re just more attuned to this stuff than me.

  13. I thought it was pretty good. It’s not my favorite MCU, but I enjoyed it pretty well.

    I did feel a little embarrassed for the filmmakers when they put “Just a Girl” behind that fight scene. It felt like a big nudge and wink: Do you believe that we have a female hero?!? But that isn’t so rare, really. Women are still less represented than men in these movies, so keep bringing more women in please. But they aren’t exactly rare unicorns in action movies anymore, either. I kind of feel like Marvel is giving itself too much credit for finally doing something that many others did a long time ago.

  14. Ben – To be fair this is the 20th Marvel Cinematic Universe movie, and none of the other 19 center on a woman. WONDER WOMAN obviously beat them to the punch, but there’s not exactly a surplus of solo-female-super-hero movies. It is a pretty big deal.

  15. Having read it back and spotted so many typos I actually am touched anyone responded to my comment – I am sorry for putting you all through that and I promise to proofread this one before hitting send!

    – I went to a completely different cinema for the second viewing. Really had hoped it was a bad bulb or something. In the UK hydraulic masking has died a death so both showings were letterboxed. I find that bleeds the colour out at the best of times in dimmer pictures so I’m sure that didn’t help. The last time I struggled nearly as much with a film’s lighting was ‘The Nun’ – and that was a time the cinema had left too many of the house lights on.

    – In the interest of balance there’s some lovely shots in it – most of all the one where she’s holding a map right before getting the bike.

    Majestyk: Agree about going in cold – it’ll be interesting to see how the MCU gets as they put more of their B and C list heroes on screen. It feels weird to say CM might’ve been B-list given she’s make 500mil already, but she’s not someone I’d come across before following one of the new era’s artists on twitter a few years back. GOTG1&2 are very strong IMO, so they benefit from having a freer hand with a less sacred canon to work from, I think. Certainly when they hire the right person.

    – It’s a shame it left me so down on the film overall because there’s plenty good in it, Ben Mendelsohn most of all. Like you said in your review as well, the Endgame stinger had me hyped, so in the MCU’s own terms that shows it still worked overall.

    – It’s interesting to think that we probably all take in visual informations and physically take in the image in different ways. I gravitate towards the eyes I think so I notice when they’re not lit properly (or at least, the way I take to be proper). Some people probably absorb the whole frame a little differently. It’s interesting really, something about this one really short-circuits my brain and makes me work harder to process the information.

    – While I’m here, they should get Rosa Salazar for the surely now inevitable Firebird movie.

  16. Annette Bening was in a Miami Vice episode?

  17. Steven, you’re right about the lighting, the film looked flat and murky. This reduces the impact of many moments, along with the choppy editing of the action scenes. I was gonna call this the least memorable Marvel picture, but then I remembered THOR: THE DARK WORLD exists. Which is unfortunately the only thing I remember about that one.

  18. The new Endgame Trailer is up. I like Carol’s little smile when Thor does his thing.

  19. Eh, still can’t get excited for AVENGERS: PAY TWICE TO SEE THE FULL MOVIE PART 2: THE INEVITABLE RESET BUTTON, even if they had replaced the Russos with competent directors.

  20. Vern: I was never comfortable with the way Courtney Love was treated. I wasn’t a huge fan or anything but I liked her singles and even thought she was attractive and interesting, but I used to be afraid to admit it because the whole world collectively decided to treat her like the town skank. They fuckin’ Yokoed her at best, Lizzie Bordened her at worst. I have no thoughts on her innate musical talent or who was or wasn’t the driving force behind her songs, but even if her music was largely manufactured in the studio, how is that any different than all these pop starlets who nowadays get treated like they’re actual artists and not just the pitchman for a multi-platform marketing campaign? How is her blowsy bite-my-tongue-for-no-one rock star space cadet persona any different from those cultivated by Ozzy Osbourne or Keith Richards? She got singled out because she was a famous woman who dared to be just as much of a trainwreck as her male peers, only instead of being romanticized for it, she was demonized. And the amazing thing is, all this stuff is all over her first album, which came out before she got famous and had to deal with any of this shit. Just being a woman trying to make it in the music industry gave her a highly focused fire and insight that her navel-gazing husband, with his nebulous, unfocused ennui and angsty nonsense poetry, could never begin to approach.

  21. Online film criticism 1984
    Eh, still can’t get excited for STAR WARS: PAY TWICE TO SEE THE FULL MOVIE PART 2: THE INEVITABLE RESET BUTTON,

  22. Hey, don’t put me on a level with such people, because Marvel suddenly decided to think I’m dumb enough to believe that they joined the GOT game of pissing fans off by killing all their favourite characters (including historically significant cash cows), and that I’m too big of a fan to not get mad at a movie that feels extremely rushed, but still randomly ends in the middle of the story.

    Also I never got the love for EMPIRE STRIKES BACK. It’s not as infuriating as INFINITY WAR or MATRIX RELOADED, but it still is a movie, that feels more like the first two acts of another movie, than its own thing.

  23. “THE TWO TOWERS? Maybe if you only had one you could have fit them both in one book, jerk. You got too many parts in your trilogy like you got too many R’s in your name.”

    “HENRY THE IV PART 1? Nice try, William HACKspeare! Get back to me when you’ve condensed history more to my liking!”

    “The Old Testament? Yeah right! I can see where this is going! You should have finished the story the first time!”

  24. CJ, fans are pissed about Game of Thrones killing off characters? I thought they loved that.

    Maj, I’ll not have you besmirch the greatest franchise of all time… The Bible. Still waiting for part 3. :)

  25. Hey, THE TWO TOWERS had at least the decency to be about a bunch of sidequests, that were finished by the end of movie. It’s not like the movie ended when the battle of Helm’s Deep started.

    And GOT fans are weird in that regard.

  26. I can see everyone’s point about this not being the strongest movie in the MCU, but I was quite delighted by it. No, I didn’t feel a deep, spiritual connection, but I liked a lot of it.

    I don’t really have anything insightful to say about it, but I’ll mention 2 things I liked *SPOILERS*:

    I liked the montage of standing up after getting knocked down at all stages of her life. It really spoke to me that what made her heroic wasn’t her glowing fists or her fighting skills or her alien technology. It was something that is innate to being a woman – shit keeps knocking you down and you have to keep getting up. That montage actually gave me a little shiver of chills.

    I also liked when Jude Law was trying to egg her on to put away her powers and just fight him one on one. I know it’s a beloved action movie trope and that Vern, especially, loves it, but I loved being able to read her face, which said loud and clear, “Nah, that’s a dude thing,” before she blasted him.

  27. I never had a lot of use for Courtney Love as an artist, but she definitely deserves some retroactive credit for being possibly the only person in Hollywood to publicly and explicitly warn other women about Harvey Weinstein (a really bold move at the time which ended up costing her dearly).

  28. I really think people need to stop giving Marvel shit because they just made a female led Superhero movie. Can you blame them for starting with their more famous heroes and used actors that are the same color as the more recognizable alter egoes on the comics? Could they have used a black actor as Tony Stark? Sure, obviously, but there is nothing wrong with hiring Robert Downey Jr either.

  29. Franchise Fred–If you’re interested in learning about the continuing adventures of Jesus Christ, may I interest you in this incredible text discovered over a hundred and fifty years ago by a man named Joseph Smith?

    Because I was taught that Courtney Love was some sort of evil succubus trying to take down her husband, I mostly avoided Hole back in the day. A couple of years ago, I decided to actually sit down and listen to their albums all the way through, and they’re actually really fantastic. Go ahead and put Hole against any of that post-grunge crap that was on the radio back in the day, and it’s really no contest. And the music is so clearly from a female perspective that to claim that Kurt Cobain or Billy Corgan or whoever wrote all their music is just plain stupid. (I know that Corgan’s credited on as one of several songwriters on several tracks on Celebrity Skin, but in high school I was lead to believe that he was responsible for the entire album).

  30. Maggie, that montage may be specifically poignant to women, but I find it representative of general heroism too. It’s not the super powers that make you heroic. It’s your character. And that final moment is the answer to every bully baiting the hero to fight. Why would you do that to prove something to an asshole? They’re just trying to distract you for accomplishing what you want to accomplish.

    RBATTY, dum dum dum dum dum.

  31. I do think it’s somewhat ridiculous that a female marvel superhero is being pitched as ideologically, politically, and culturally necessary, when really it’s just commerce for Marvel/Disney. There have been plenty of female action heroes and female led movies before this one, and if you look at the movie…okay, Carol constantly fights back and gets back to her feet (though they don’t do a lot to define her as a character besides somebody in opposition to hotshot, sexist dickheads)…she doesn’t exactly “earn” her power. She just happens to have a bond with this alien and is riding co-pilot when the ship gets shot down and is the person closest to the engine that is destroyed and she absorbs the energy from, all of which she had no foresight about.

    Lump me in with the group that considers this a below average, bridge marvel movie around the level of one of the first two Thors. It has some charms, but also significant drawbacks. Lots of the comedy didn’t work for me, and I hope Brie Larson does better going forward (hard to tell how much was her and how much was the direction) because otherwise this series might suffer.

    I suspect because Captain Marvel absorbed the energy from whatever that engine was that powered the tesseract that she is capable of destroying infinity stones, and thus being able to weaken Thanos’ gauntlet. Scarlet Witch was the only person clearly able to destroy a stone from the prior movies. Though arguably Vision (gone) and Thor would also be capable.

  32. Brian: I struggle with the idea of giant corporations engaging in performative wokeness, but if a four-quadrant-blockbuster-behemoth like Disney sees leaning into racial and gender equality as a commercially viable position to take, I think that says a good thing about mainstream society.

    Keeping in mind I haven’t seen CAPTAIN MARVEL yet, I’d say that superheroes rarely “earn” their powers; they usually stumble on them. It’s what they do afterwards that matters.

  33. I think there’s a considerable gap between BLACK PANTHER and CAPTAIN MARVEL. Both in terms of quality as well as what they each have to say about what the general public presumes they’re about–race and gender respectively. In fact, I think BLACK PANTHER might be superior on both fronts, which is a big credit to all the actresses and Ryan Coogler.

  34. Sternshein – But people aren’t really trashing Marvel for it, right? It seems like it’s more of a “I wish they made this movie sooner, but I’m sure excited now that it’s here!”

    So Destin Daniel Cretton has been hired for the Shang Chi movie, which falls in line with other director choices, including Captain Marvel’s. This seems like one entry where they really need to get the action right, though. Wu Jing would be one obvious, smart casting choice. Let him handle the action, too.

  35. As I said to a friend, I found this to be the Dry White Toast of the MCU. Totally outplayed by The Winter Soldier creatively when you looked at the relatively comparable scenes. I thought it committed the movie sin of being remarkably lacking in notable standout highs or setpieces (once sgain, see TWS just for starters).

  36. My biggest takeaway from this was how good they are getting at the CGI youth process. I kept wondering if someone from a desert island who didn’t know Samuel L Jackson saw this movie would ever be able to tell that Samuel L is actually 70 years old. I also kept thinking that maybe we could get a Pulp Fiction Prequel…..

  37. Fred – you’re right, it is common for the hero to be heroic for their tenacity and ingrained character, rather than their muscles, etc. I guess what moved me here was that women are often knocked down (usually metaphorically) for simply being a woman.

    JeffG – afterward I honestly thought they may have not even used CGI to make Jackson appear younger. Either it was deftly used or I got used to it. Unlike Colson, who looked airbrushed into invisibility.

  38. MaggieMay

    I felt the same way, and I was actually shocked when I looked it up and saw SLJ is 70. He looks pretty damn young for 70.

  39. Maggie, women definitely are and I admire them all the more for getting back up against unfair, arbitrary biases.

  40. Also sort of reminded me of the Buffy the Vampire Slayer series finale where [SPOILERS] all the potential slayers got activated and realized their power. Did you get that vibe, Maggie?

  41. I did not think that at the time, but now that you mention it, I can totally see it.

  42. The thing about Phil Coulson and Clark Gregg is that Clark Gregg more or less looks now like he did in 1995.

    What they did with this film (and why I found it distracting) especially his hair … well, that not so much ever in his life on screen.

  43. Couple points.

    1) JRR did write one novel, and his publisher forced him to divide it into three!

    2) Hole is fuckin great, the only grunge band I would say is better is Mudhoney

    3) James Gunn has been rehired for GOTG3! Woohoo!

    4) “Inarguably” the best female sung rock song… holy shit what a claim. I guess I can’t really argue with it though. Opinions!

  44. “Celebrity Skin” is awesome, and “Malibu” also from Hole is nearly as awesome and played about 1/1000 as much. I concur. Though of course these songs are basically Billy Corgan and barely Courtney Love, except for the voice and the “yeah I killed Kurt, whatcha gonna do about it” swagger.

  45. @steven, THANK YOU.

    I too was bewildered with the at times inept lighting and framing decisions in this film. Especially evident in the costume re-colouring scene. It’s not “naturalistic”, it’s incompetent.

    I’ll wait for a second viewing before diving into the creative discussion, but I will touch on one thing that I think has really negatively affected this film, and the MCU overall as a result.

    Before I do, I’ll preface by saying that I am a fan of the Carol Danvers character, and have been eagerly awaiting her entry into the MCU.

    This is all Ike Perlmutter’s fault. Allow me to explain…

    So, one month before Endgame, we have Carol crammed into the MCU just barely in time to be included. People are complaining about agendas, and social this, political that, but this isn’t about societal reactionism, it’s retconning Marvel Studios’ unfortunate past.

    Infamously, the head of Marvel (overall), Ike Perlmutter used to lord over Marvel Studios with supreme veto power. He is a noted racist (no Black Panther under his watch), and sexist (Iron Man 3’s female villain was written out at his demand, and no female led franchises), so once Kevin Fiege was able to side-step him under the Disney regime just before Civil War, it meant that all options for franchises of any and all types of people were now on the table. Time to diversify as quickly as possible, to course correct. It was no coincidence that Civil War was announced with a reveal of Black Panther as the sole related visual.

    So now Captain Marvel is on the table, and she’s going to debut late, her name is synonymous with the brand, and her origin is tied to an alien race that was already diminished by now in the MCU, so it makes sense to have her origin set in the past, to establish her as a founding figure of the MCU. I get that.

    But the problem with how they have executed it is that Carol’s character development wasn’t fleshed out in this film, it is only hinted at. She’s going to get a sequel set in the 90’s later in Phase 4 (and maybe another pre-Iron Man sequel as well, who knows?), and have a great deal of her character growth at a future point, but next month in Endgame, we will see this character without having seen ANY of who she really is, or has become over the past 24 years. This is a really odd misstep for Marvel Studios. Sure, after CM2 comes out, we can then go back and (probably) connect more with her presence in Endgame, but that will not help in theatres in April.

    I’m not hating on any of this, but I can’t not see the difficulty and unfortunate position established by the restrictions placed on the first 7 years of the MCU.

  46. Y’all watch these Marvel movies multiple times even when they suck? Nerds!

    ;)

  47. Just saw this, and I agree with what seems to be the consensus that it’s not one of the top-tier Marvel movies, but still very enjoyable.

    I wish they did more of the Hot Tub Time Machine joke with Nick Fury’s eye, though. I think they left a lot of laughs on the table by only faking us out the one time. I think the ultimate reveal would have been funnier if there were a few more close calls.

  48. I mostly liked it as I said in an earlier post, but the thing that disappointed me the most was the stupid, random way she got her powers. Why would an ordinary human absorb energy from an explosion instead of die? And you can’t tell me that that’s just the way light speed engines are. I mean, it’s an engine; in the ordinary course of business it’s going to throw off exhaust and radiation. So, if it had been put into use was it going to be handing out powers to anyone working the engine room? To anyone near the exhaust port?

    That part of the movie was surprisingly lazy and unimaginative for an MCU movie this far along. I wish that this very powerful character (and first female MCU character at quite this level) was given a more interesting power source.

  49. I don’t think it’s any more ridiculous or stupid than getting bit by a radioactive spider, exposed to gamma rays or having a planet/god for a father.

  50. Light speed engines are magic though. It’s physically impossible to travel at the speed of light because of physics. Therefore, it’s just as logical to assume they WOULD give her powers upon exploding than that they wouldn’t.

  51. I think Captain Marvel getting her powers was also connected to the Tesseract and the Space Stone without which it wouldn’t have been possible (maybe also not the engine either) in the same way Ultron and Vision (and possibly the Maximoffs) weren’t actually going to happen before the Mind Stone entered the picture.

  52. The thing I was most confused by was why anybody gave a shit about the light speed drive in the first place. These space people already routinely travel from planet to planet in minutes using wormholes and such. Nobody ever complains about how long it takes to get anywhere. Tony made it to Thanosworld from Earth in like a half hour. Ronan the Accuser gets the go-ahead to nuke Earth and he’s there lickety-split. They’d have to be moving far, far FASTER than light to cover these distances so quickly. Light speed wouldn’t help you in combat, because you’d be going way too fast to engage an enemy, so what is the tactical advantage of this particular form of fast travel over the seemingly reliable form they already use? It kind of felt like they were battling over a prototype VCR the year after Blu-ray was invented.

  53. Explanations I’ve heard (and I agree if it’s not sufficiently apparent from the story, you’re already failing) is that there’s an existing wormhole network (think subway stations) but the drive can take them to areas which aren’t close to the wormholes and I guess safer.

    I agree, they did a terrible job of explaining this (as in not even trying to answer exactly the point you are raising).

  54. I thought that they weren’t really after the light speed drive. That they were after the tesseract and also to wipe out the Skrulls she was protecting.

  55. I thought it was just plain old garden-variety bad. Poor action, obvious ‘mystery’, holey plot, a lead performance that’s stilted and stiff (and don’t say it’s because she’s an alien mind control victim, because they immediately walk that back to have her quipping every other line), and just something stupid going on every couple minutes. The scene where Carol quizzes Fury on his backstory, err, personal history to make sure he isn’t a Skrull, only she has no way of knowing whether he’s telling the truth or not–ughh. I know all these Marvel movies have a formula, but this time it was like they were doing a cover song and not doing anything to individualize their take on it, just playing the chords and saying the lyrics–not even particularly in-tune.

  56. “We should be happy for people of all backgrounds to have more chances to *see themselves represented on screen*…”

    “…who the fuck can’t watch a movie and identify with a hero who’s different from them?”

    Uhhhm, which is it?

  57. Jesus Christ, Rogue4. Don’t waste my life on dumb shit like this. Of course it is cool for young girls to be able to have opportunities to see SOME movies that aren’t just about dudes. And also, at the same time, you understand that just because you are a male doesn’t mean you can’t watch a movie about a woman and relate to her experiences and root for her. Although your politics are maddening to me I’m 100% positive that you are a smart person who understands that both of these things are true and not contradictory. I wish you could be true to your Conservative Intellectual Guy Speaking Truth to the Liberals code without just making that be Asshole Philosophically Opposed To Empathy.

  58. Sometimes I really wish we could upvote comments on this websight.

  59. I certainly take you for a smart person Main Man, which is why it’s doubletake worthy to see those two statements smashed into the same sentence. But I suppose it’s the type of inexplicable’ness that naturally flows from peddling bogus conflations about how negative reactions to a female superhero movie = opposition to “small strides in diversity.” Funny we haven’t heared a peep from those same presumed “silly pantses” about ScarJo’s Black Widow (a mainstay and fan favorite in the MCU, virtually since its inception), or Alita the Battle Angel, or Wonder Woman, or Katniss Everdeen, or Kill Bill’s Bride, or Buffy the Vampire Slayer, or Brienne of Tarth, or Arya Stark, or The Walking Dead’s Michonne or Carol or Maggie, or Sarah Connor, or Ripley. The math seems to be pretty obvious. Give people a compelling, well acted heroine and they’ll eat it up with a spoon. Give em a shallow Mary Sue, portrayed by an actress who projects all the charisma of a paper weight and insults half the fanbase to boot, and they’re gonna non to politely call it out. So maybe you could dial back the Lefty Virtue Signaling Against Misogyny Straw-Man knob a few clicks.

  60. Misogyny straw man?

    When you have folks enraged by simple and harmless calls for diversity, it doesn’t really seem to be a straw man.

    There seems to be some sort of anger out there. Misogyny isn’t all of it, but it sure feels like a lot of the source of the anger. I really don’t think it’s an anger grounded in anything positive, I am sure of that. A lot of it feels contrived and manufactured as well.

    Sidestepping manufactured outrage should be a Boy Scout Merit Badge I think that everyone needs in today’s world.

    I enjoyed the movie. I agree with you her character was a little flat. It still worked.

    The online sabotage by trolls as it was opening… nothing respectable about any of that. I’m glad all of that nonsense failed badly enough it became a farce.

    You’re not going to get any traction with your complaints because everyone is angry at that crap.

    We can’t remove politics from the cinema and we shouldn’t even try. It informs the why of movies and it has a lot to do with how we digest them. It’s part of everything, for better or worse. But the stakes can become very low very quick, and the sell-by date for this manufactured crappy outrage is already weeks old.

    Say you don’t like the actress. Say you don’t like the movie. Have whatever reasons you want. Whatever. Move on.

    It wasn’t “On the Waterfront.” It was an MCU movie. Christ on pogo stick.

    Anyway, looking forward to Benicio Del Toro as Swiper and Danny Trejo as Boots the Monkey in the live action Dora the Explorer movie. LOL!

    Trejo: “Swiper no swiping.”

    Del Toro: “Oh man.”

    This… is this a fever dream? This is going to be real?

  61. “Although your politics are maddening to me I’m 100% positive that you are a smart person who understands that both of these things are true and not contradictory.”

    Vern, if you are “100% positive” that he’s smart enough to see that those two sentences are not contradictions, then why do you think he wrote that they were?

  62. Riiiiight. Now reconcile that narrative with the non-“trolling” of every one of the aforementioned heroines, BR. Somethings not adding up.

  63. I guess that percentage was too optimistic.

  64. Rogue4 it’s about Brie Larson specifically, non-anger at anyone else or another movie is without meaning.

    Brie Larson called for more diversity.

    Ok.

    That’s a pretty anodyne, harmless, and unremarkable call. It’s pretty average. It’s just not that controversial nor out there.

    It’s practically a platitude.

    But for whatever mysterious reason her words released the 4chan crackhead kraken.

    Outside of that subculture there’s just not that much resonance.

    Dude, you are entitled to be angry about whatever you want, and I am not trying to belittle your concerns. Oh who am I kidding, I’m totally belittling THIS concern. But I’m not belittling your right to be angry. Be angry about whatever you want, that is your right and I respect that and I’m sure there are plenty of topics both you and I would be angry about together. And you have every right to be angry about this topic still no matter what I say or what anyone else says.

    But c’mon dude, on this topic: really? I’m not feeling it.

    Human Sacrifice, dogs and cats living together, mass hysteria!

  65. @BR Right, cause saying you don’t care about what a bunch of hispanic dudes have to say about A Wrinkle in Time, cause it wasn’t for them, is a totally harmless statement that Miss Larson would’ve unblinkingly made in mixed company… that you and no one else would’ve batted an eyelash about… sure. In any case you can attempt to dodge the point of the non-trolling/embrace of the cited heroines, and the hole it blows thru the misogyny narrative around Miss Larson’s film, but a dodge is all it is.

    @JTS & Vern Friendos, you can assert that the face value contradiction of the two given statements (in the same sentence no less) isn’t what it is, all you want. I’m not buying it. Your self serving assessment of my intellect, notwithstanding, I see it as the nonsensical flubbery that necessarily results from propogating a nonsensical *not liking a given heroine adventure movie/its star equates to opposing diversity* premise.

  66. You’re all showing the stubborn perseverence of Captain Marvel in your attempts to engage Rogue4. I can’t even understand the point he is trying to make.

  67. I am a white male film critic and I truly don’t care if Brie Larson thinks I shouldn’t review A Wrinkle in Time. I’ll still review it if I want and I also hope she’s successful in installing more black female critics.

    This whole idea of “well, Brie, your comment about reviewing films that weren’t aimed at you isn’t 100% sound so now we don’t have to listen to any of your suggestions” is so strict. What white male ever has to measure up to that scrutiny?

    Give her the benefit of the doubt.

  68. Your lack of care doesn’t change the nature of the given statement, Fred… which would be called out as racist drivel on its face… if directed at anyone but white males.

  69. I’m not engaging Rogue4, and the point I was driving at was that neither should Vern. Rogue4 is just a troll that is getting exactly what he wants with all these rebukes. And Vern, you must know that too, because if you truly believed he was smart enough to know that what he wrote was “dumb shit,” as you called it, and he wrote it anyway, then why do you think he did that? The answer is: to rile you (and other commenters here). To provoke this kind of argument, so that he could try to rile you and others further. I.e. trolling.

    For a while there, Rogue4’s sporadic comments were mostly ignored. But Majestyk and others slipped and hit back in an earlier thread, and now this thread has happened, so of course he’s more active again. I can only hope others go back to not feeding him, and then if a review mentions diversity, the comment section doesn’t have to devolve into this.

  70. Considering their penchant for roping otherwise intelligent people into defending (and personally identifying with) nakedly rotten funnybook/Star Wars spectacle products as if they were avatars for oppressed and exploited peoples themselves and not exciting investment opportunities for overwhelmingly white and male corporate shareholders to suck Literally Billions Of Dollars out of the wallet of neoliberalism’s collective unconscious, I’m starting to suspect that Rogue4 and his ilk are probably on the Disney payroll.

  71. @JTS Your not engaging because having to contend with an expressed worldview that differs from/challenges your own is apparently to much for you to cope with. That’s it, and that’s all. Your shallow little *protecting the integrity of the thread* con, perpetuation of the tired ridiculous “this guy opposes diversity” nonsense, and ad-him label slinging isn’t smokescreening anything.

    @zero-mentality And why then would I be leveling any level of detraction at a Disney blockbuster?

  72. The way I look at it is that, yes, there are people out there that are racist towards white people. However, it’s so small compared to the racism black people have experienced, it’s not really that big of a fucking deal.

    When I’m bored I’ll go to news.google.com and they have a feature where they give me stuff that they think I’ll like. They keep sending me this place called Cosmic Book News and almost every article is about how women are ruining comic book movies. They also send me articles that are mostly from Fox News. You know, maybe the theory that conservative voices are often blocked, or whatever, on the internet is a false fucking narrative.

    I”m also not even sure I understand what Rogue4’s opinion is other than to just be an asshole to other people on this site.

  73. Bullshit. I like seeing movies from women’s perspective sometimes and also I’m glad I get to see plenty that are not. If you’re gonna pretend those things are contradictory this is not a discussion about our opinions on movies, it’s just you trying to be a pain in the ass to support your asshole worldview. I don’t want that kinda shit here or in my life. And don’t call me Friendo again.

  74. @Vern As opposed to who, as per the embrace of the cited heroines from the very same fan base? So call me whatever you want. Your righteous indignation isn’t smokescreening the bullshit of the fantasy “diversity haters” narrative you’re peddling.

  75. I think Rogue is being childishly combative, and he is baiting Vern and others for attention, but I don’t think it’s fair to dismiss everything he says or every perspective he represents, just b/c he’s being an asshole, and just because the American conservative movement is an intellectually, pragmatically, and morally bankrupt social cancer.

    Here are a few things animating some of Rogue’s hissyfit that carry some validity:
    1. Brier Larson has come across as self-serious and patronizing in a couple of different interviews, and she came off as a real goof in that interview about diversity in journalism. Not because she’s a woman, and not because she encouraged diversity in journalism, but because of the intellectual laziness, the tone, the dismissive talk of “white dudes,” and the implication that some big bad societal wolf is working to keep diversity out of journalism and she’s taking a stand against it, by gum. The conservative white male reaction to her was 60% typical conservative white male fragile ego shit and 40% her actually conforming to a lot of the most obnoxious conservative white male bitching about “SJWs” and what not.

    2. There is this whole bullshit narrative that Marvel has been trying to exploit that this film is a watershed feminist moment, and it’s clearly not. Or, if it is, it’s a minor. It’s an extremely cynical marketing ploy, all around.

    3. There is a double-standard where it is perfectly acceptable in young, progressive media discourse to engage in naked generalizations and stereotypes about white heterosexual males, and if you switched out “white dudes” for any other social group, there’d be swift opprobrium or economic/professional consequences.

  76. I guess it’s a double standard but it’s completely the single least harmful double standard that ever existed. White people are not descriminated against.

  77. I mostly agree with your statements, Skani.

    I mean yeah, I notice dismissive statements about white people that I don’t appreciate. For example, the college student who confronted Chelsea Clinton and then tweeted about her “caucacity” and called her a “white politician.” My feeling on this kind of stuff is

    1. recognize that a statement like that against the group in power is not equal to the other way around
    2. take the person less seriously because of their prejudice

    And then forgive or ignore.

    As one of the white dudes whose opinion Larson said she didn’t want to hear, I have trouble taking offense. I think she misunderstands the point of film criticism, but she’s coming from the truth that non-white voices have historically not been given as much of a platform in film criticism. Since it’s very common for movie stars to say stupid things about film critics it’s easy to forgive one that comes from good intentions instead of not liking to hear negative things about their work.

    Personally, I thought A WRINKLE IN TIME sucked, and decided that I was far enough outside of the target audience that there wasn’t much value to writing about that. And I do think that’s a good choice to make sometimes, just like a critic that hates horror movies reviewing horror movies can be a waste of everybody’s time. In a case like this movie I think it’s enough to note that it seems to appeal more to women than men and then present my thoughts.

    I am very aware that I like many movies with Mexican or Native American characters that have been deemed horribly racist by some of the people from those communities. Without efforts to promote more of those reviews and essays I honestly wouldn’t have heard some of those viewpoints, and I think they’re important to consider even though they’re often uncomfortable for me to face because, like, THE LONE RANGER is a great movie.

    And as I believe Fred (sorry if it was someone else) pointed out, most movies have a star who says dumb shit sometimes, usually dumber than this, almost never getting this kind of sustained campaign of aggression. Even Liam Neeson got away with one round of Twitter outrage when he said he almost murdered a random black guy. Nobody tried to sabotage the Rotten Tomatoes score. So, as a white male critic, I ask all to stop defending my honor from Brie Larson.

  78. Well the Brie Larson thing versus Liam Neeson thing is that these fucking nerds hate women.

  79. By what stretch of the imagination are we pretending there’s an equivalence between Liam Neeson confessing a dumb racist attitude he held in the past, and acknowledging it as such in said confession, and Brie Larson just smugly making a dumb racist statement?

    But sure, nerds hate women… except for Leia, and Ripley, and Vasquez, and Sarah Connor, and Wonder Women, and Lara Croft, and Alita, and Starbuck, and Beatrix Kiddo, and Jean Grey/Phoenix…

  80. Get your head out of the fucking sand Nazi.

  81. Also, Brie Larson has made no racist remarks.

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