A while back I reviewed this sci-fi action movie called EQUILIBRIUM and I complained about the cliche of using techno music in all the action scenes. I asked why somebody didn’t try out some different styles of music on some action scenes. A while later a guy named Jonathan Lee wrote to inform me of a movie called MEAN GUNS where they did just that, they used mambo music during all the action (and other parts of the movie).

The only recognizable stars are Ice-T and Christopher Lambert, and then there’s a bunch of other people. Mario Van Peebles was not available. Anyway, “The Syndicate” has recently bought a prison somehow, and the day before the grand opening Ice-T calls a bunch of criminals there for big meeting, like THE WARRIORS.

But it’s actually a trap. Once the suckers come inside they are handed a card telling them how they betrayed the Syndicate. The punishment is that they’re all gonna be locked in here to kill each other. Once there are only 3 traitors alive, they will supposedly get $3.3 million each and get to leave.

So some guys come in and dump big garbage bins full of guns and ammo into the middle and the game begins.

This all sounds pretty cool, but there’s a pretty big catch. The director is Albert Pyun. I haven’t written about this guy much, because I try to avoid him as much as possible. Pyun is a master at making movies that are terrible and yet completely boring. He did the NEMESIS series, some KICKBOXER sequels, CAPTAIN AMERICA, DOLLMAN. He did one called URBAN MENACE which is kind of like a soap opera interspersed with clips of Snoop Dogg walking around acting spooky. (Rehearsal tapes for BONES?) The best movie I’ve ever seen by Albert Pyun is the Seagal picture TICKER, which is one of Seagal’s least interesting pictures. (It is historically important though as the first Seagal picture with a director’s commentary track, and he does seem like an okay guy on the track.) (more…)

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