"I'll just get my gear."

BREAKIN’ 2: ELECTRIC BOOGALOO

“In the second film the wardrobe people wanted to go glamorous. And they wanted to make Los Angeles look beautiful – that’s why all the colors are bright and friendly. Los Angeles is not like that – they made BREAKIN’ 2 as some kind of a WIZARD OF OZ of dance. And you know what? For a kid that never had anything, not even the money in the family to go to Disneyland – suddenly people were screaming, and cheering, dancing and being happy on the screen. That’s the fantasy. Maybe Los Angeles will never be that way, but Los Angeles was beautiful for one day when people watched BREAKIN’ 2. I think that’s nice.” -Michael “Boogaloo Shrimp” Chambers to Marco Siedelmann in the book Stories From the Trenches: Adventures in Making High Octane Hollywood Movies With Cannon Veteran Sam Firstenberg

BREAKIN’ was a huge hit for Cannon. It opened at #1 even though it was going head-to-head with Universal’s SIXTEEN CANDLES, and on almost 200 fewer screens. It ended up making $38 million, which was more than twice BEAT STREET’s total, and put it at #17 in the 1984 box office rankings, above such films as BACHELOR PARTY, RED DAWN, THE TERMINATOR and Cannon’s own MISSING IN ACTION. And if you scan down that list, way down to #102, you’ll find BREAKIN’ 2: ELECTRIC BOOGALOO.

That sounds more disastrous than it is, because only its first ten days of release were in 1984; its eventual total would’ve put it around #59. More notable than the sequel’s lower box office take is the fact that they got it into theaters less than 8 months later. But it wasn’t just a continuation – they put together a new team of filmmakers, headed by director Sam Firstenberg, who had just directed Dickey in NINJA III: THE DOMINATION (also released in ’84!), and they gave it a goofier, less reality-bound tone and style with more neon and rainbow colors in the clothes and graffiti.

Way more time seems to have passed since the events of BREAKIN’ in the movie than in reality. Turbo, Special K and Ozone’s stage show Street Jazz (“The Dance Event of the ‘80s,” according to a poster on Special K’s wall) has long since concluded (but maybe it was only performed once, also according to the poster?) and Special K hasn’t seen the other two for some time – long enough that she holds a framed photo and reminisces about old times. (I wish they tried to age her with a grey streak in her hair like Nancy in A NIGHTMARE ON ELM STREET 3.) She has a different manager (Herb Mitchell, SCORPION) who gets her an offer to star in a show in Paris, but her mom (Jo de Winter, DIRTY HARRY) and dad (John Christy Ewing, “District Attorney Owens” on two episodes of the Walking Tall tv series), who are super rich and live in a historic mansion*, try to convince her to go to Princeton instead. It’s interesting that it was never mentioned or implied in the first movie that she comes from wealth. Good for her still busting her ass at that waitressing job.

When she goes to visit Ozone and Turbo (and kisses Ozone on the lips!) she finds out that they fixed up and colorfully painted an old building in East L.A. that they’re running as a community center called Miracles. It’s kind of a utopian vision, like the Freedom School in BILLY JACK, where they teach breakdancing, art and boxing to what looks like hundreds of kids and adults. From what I can tell they operate as a non-hierarchical collective, and everyone gets along and there’s a clown/mime/balloon artist guy (Don Lewis, WARRIORS OF VIRTUE, the “Hush” episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer) who hangs out with them and nobody seems bothered by that.

I know BREAKIN’ isn’t noted for gritty realism, but the sequel doesn’t try to fool anyone. Turbo’s boombox now has a promo sticker for the first BREAKIN’ movie on it, in case you’re wondering if this takes place in real-world reality.

Instead it follows musical reality. When the reunited TKO crew lead some of the kids from Miracles in dancing down the street, random mailmen, traffic cops and other bystanders start doing flips and handsprings and popping and locking along with them. Everyone in the whole area comes outside and joins in. It’s one of many scenes in this sequel that seem like it might possibly involve more dancers than were in the entirety of the first movie.

(Everything is bigger – even Turbo and Ozone’s garage. Maybe they had it remodeled with their Street Jazz money.)

That might be the biggest dance number, but it’s far from the goofiest. It’s quickly followed by the scene where their rivals Electro-Rock throw a spraypaint can through their window like a brick, and lure them to the freeway underpass, where they play an unreleased Ice-T song called “Combat” on a boombox while the two crews simulate fighting with dance moves around and on top of some abandoned cars. They punch at each other, spin nunchakas and use garbage can lids as shields, and from the looks on their faces they consider this mortal danger, though they all choose not to make contact.

In the world of movies there’s plenty of overlap between dancers and warriors. Like the heroes of the martial arts movies I love, these dancers are naturally talented people with disciplined training in their styles. They live somewhat outside of society and adhere to a code. They are challenged by other clans, they have moves that they keep secret, they combine forces to develop new, more powerful styles. So it weirdly makes sense that they would have some movies that aren’t just about dance feuds or competitions, but using their skills to protect their community from outside threats.

So the main conflict here is not dance-related, but a snooty white developer (Peter MacLean, SQUIRM, THE FRIENDS OF EDDIE COYLE) who wants to build a shopping center or supermarket (he describes it both ways) where Miracles is. He got the zoning committee to condemn the building unless they can raise $200,000 to repair it. There’s a funny public hearing scene that seems modeled after BILLY JACK, with the Miracles kids yelling out various insults from the crowd, and it cracks me up that when a little kid mutters, “You guys are wacked, man,” the developer’s lackey Randall [Ken Olfson, ANGEL] repeats it in disbelief, sounding absolutely wounded. “‘Wacked’? Wh- wha–?”

There are a few different subplots, a couple of them love-related. Rhonda (Susie Coelho, THEODORE REX, at the time married to Sonny Bono) likes Ozone and is jealous of Special K and keeps yelling about it and trying to make Special K feel unwelcome. Turbo gets a crush on a dancer he sees named Lucia (Sabrina Garcia, “Additional Finale Dancers,” BODY ROCK) but has no experience with girls and has to ask Ozone for advice. This leads to a weird scene where they practice dancing with a dummy they happen to have (dressed as Special K, it seems like?) and the dummy keeps becoming Special K or Lucia – it reminds me of the scene in MO’ BETTER BLUES where he can’t remember which girlfriend he’s with – and then the boys get jealous of each other for imaginary-dancing with their respective crushes.

Also when Special K brings the boys over for dinner her parents ambush them by inviting Derek (Nicholas Segal, CHOPPING MALL), a dipshit Hollywood lawyer asshole with a bow tie and fake aristocratic accent who they claim is her fiancee (but she disagrees). This is a guy who literally calls them “riff raff,” to give you an idea. Special K is hoping her dad will spend what to him is a miniscule amount of money to repair Miracles, but he sucks so he tells Ozone and Turbo that he can’t give them money because “You people mismanage it. You spend it on drugs and fancy clothes and cars.” (Another one of those things that conservative pundits can now say openly that used to be only said by one-dimensional villains in movies like this.)

The only one of these stories that goes anywhere is the Turbo one, and that’s because it leads to an iconic dance sequence: alone in the garage he dances up the walls and on the ceiling, and she comes to see him and they’re in love now. (Important historical note: mechanical effects designer Jim Doyle used the same rotating room he’d built for Tina’s death and Glen’s blood geyser in A NIGHTMARE ON ELM STREET. He also used it to make the stuff move around in THE STUFF.)

Ozone is usually a moody, stubborn character, so I like the part where he’s wise enough to try to call a truce with Electro Rock, telling them “we need your juice” and arguing that the closing of Miracles would be the beginning of gentrification that would ruin things for Electro Rock and the whole neighborhood. Not only does Strobe (Steve “Sugarfoot” Notario) turn him down, but he brings his crew to watch and laugh when bulldozers arrive to destroy the center! (He makes peace at the end by, without discussion, joining them on stage as part of “The Miracles Dancers.”)

Unfortunately Ozone, Rhonda and sometimes Special K are saddled with dialogue where they act unreasonable and seem like pains in the ass. It’s definitely a broader and cornier movie than the first one, but I always liked it better because it understood that

1) reality is for assholes, cool dance number gimmicks are for champions

2) the plot’s job is to lead us to those cool dance numbers and then get the fuck out of the way

So, for example, Turbo tries to slow down the destruction of the center by stealing a lunch from one of the workers, which leads to a foot chase where he (well, an adult stuntman) falls down some stairs. Ozone tells Special K that Turbo is in the hospital, so she chooses to miss her flight to Paris (possibly losing her starring role) to visit him. About ten seconds after she arrives, Lucia steps out of a cabinet in the hospital room (?), and kisses Turbo, which causes him to regain consciousness and then everyone immediately decides that he’s healed so they all do a big dance number through the hospital, involving other patients (who seem to be magically cured of all ailments) and a line of sexy nurses in high heels. Some surgeons interrupt an operation to dance, and one of them is the shaky guy from the “Beat It” video. Later Turbo shows up at Miracles in his hospital gown and his friends just remove his leg cast and he can dance again.

It doesn’t matter how they got there. They wanted to do a hospital dance sequence, so Turbo fell down some stairs. Then they wanted him to dance some more, so he’s healed. No problem. You can do that in BREAKIN’ 2. It’s also notable that the movie doesn’t tell us if that job was still waiting for Special K in Paris or not. She made her choice – her friends and their cause were more important.

Admittedly, putting on a show to save the community center is one of the hoariest cliches there is. You can see variations of it in everything from the 1937 Judy Garland/Mickey Rooney movie BABES IN ARMS to THE BLUES BROTHERS to TOUGHEST MAN IN THE WORLD starring Mr. T. It’s always been the cheesiest thing about BREAKIN’ 2, but the older I get the more it also seems like the truest thing about it. If anything, the heartless developers caricatured in these sorts of stories have gotten bolder and crueler in the decades since. I don’t know if it was the case then, but it certainly wouldn’t work now to “go to the press” as boxing coach Byron (Harry Caesar, EMPEROR OF THE NORTH) does. And I’m not totally sure the bulldozer drivers would refuse their orders to demolish the stage just because people are standing on it. Maybe. Hopefully. But, I mean – they’ll do homeless camps.

I’ve lived in the same neighborhood for around 20 years and watched as many of the places that once made it special were plucked out and replaced by soul-less chains. There was a huge, beautiful independent record store I could see from my kitchen window that had a stage in the back and all kinds of signings and performances with major acts and became the site for makeshift memorials when beloved musicians died – it was a genuine community gathering place. Like Ozone said about Miracles, it was “more than a piece of property. It’s people.” Despite changes in the industry they were still very successful when the parking lot company that owned the property doubled their rent to force them out and give the space to Chase Bank, who already have a location right up the street. On the same block, CVS replaced what was once a locally owned burger place just to fuck with the nearby locally owned drug store, and it worked – the 130 year old Bartell chain was recently sold to Rite Aid.

It makes me so mad to think of some person I’ll never meet who lives far away and thinks of it as a smart investment to get rid of places that are meaningful to the lives of those of us who do live here. The unique one-offs and local institutions that give a neighborhood its personality become bullseyes for these ghouls – soft targets to fuck over and rebuild for corporations that can pay higher rent, but not necessarily higher wages, and may not feel the same responsibility to the community. Now factor in the more heinous and unjust issues of gentrifying primarily Black and Latinx neighborhoods – taking away not only places that are important to the locals, but their ability to afford rent – and you have both the cartoon villain of this movie and the real life business people who thrive in every city in America.

So now it feels to me less like a cliche and more like a hard truth that if hundreds of creative and passionate artists broke their backs to create a beautiful rainbow-colored temple to positivity and creative expression then some rich motherfucker would definitely try to turn it into a shopping center to “not only upgrade the area but make it commercially viable,” as Randall says, and the locals would be forced to sell fuckin lemonade and have a car wash to try to save it. It makes me think of every indie theater or video store that has managed to scrape by with fundraisers or miraculous last minute rescues by cool rich people. Or, in darker moments, it brings to mind every human being forced to make a Gofundme to try to pay for their friend or loved one’s surgery or cancer treatment because our healthcare system isn’t designed to help most of us.

I’m sorry to report that BREAKIN’ 2 does not present any operable solutions to these issues. But it does offer an inspiring, aspirational ideal to aim for, an optimistic portrait of what was then the potential of hip hop, which has in some ways come to pass: a multi-cultural union coming together through music and dancing, expressing themselves by looking cool, having fun. (In this one it also crosses class lines, as Kelly explicitly acknowledges both her “very rich people” parents and her TKO crew as “my family.”)

The community center brings them together and amplifies their creativity, and by coming together and amplifying their creativity they can save the community center. I don’t know if I believe it in real life, but I go with it in the movie. I choose to “believe in the beat,” as the song says.

In many circles, I think BREAKIN’ 2 is better known as a hacky joke than a specific movie. The audacious goofiness of the rhyming subtitle has, for what seems like over 150 years, been the joke subtitle to every fictional sequel anybody ever joked about (I have long felt we should move on to FAREWELL TO THE FLESH). In a dark twist that perfectly sums up the fucking internet, this cliche led to far right groups appropriating the title as code for a violent uprising or race war they want to start. In 2020 testimony to the Subcommittee on Intelligence and Counterterrorism – Committee on Homeland Security, extremism expert J.J. MacNab wrote that

“the denizens of the weapons forums on the 4Chan /k/ board and on reddit renamed it ‘Civil War 2: Electric Boogaloo.’ A few years ago, there was an ongoing joke on social media to cast any mediocre sequel as an ‘electric boogaloo.’”

“Civil War 2: Electric Boogaloo” was soon shortened to “the Boogaloo” (and sometimes The Big Luau, which is why they’re also trying to ruin Hawaiian shirts). The people who say they want to start it became known as Boogaloos, Boogaloo Bois or Boogs. Because “mediocre sequels” are funny.

It’s fitting that BREAKIN’ 2 would be the target of their derision, since it’s the opposite of everything they stand for – not only glorifying racial unity, but the dominance of urban Black and Latinx culture – and maybe, with its PG-rated accessibility, even contributed to the less racially monolithic American culture they’re so afraid of. In the phone-book-sized tome Stories From the Trenches: Adventures in Making High Octane Hollywood Movies With Cannon Veteran Sam Firstenberg by Marco Siedelmann, interviews with Firstenberg, Dickey, Chambers and Quinones all speak of Quinones resenting Dickey (or at least the idea of having to co-star with a white woman) and the direction the sequel took. Quinones could easily have used ELECTRIC BOOGALOO’s punchline status as confirmation that he was right; instead, he seems to have changed his opinion entirely. As he told Siedelmann:

“I had some resentment for… the fact that she was thrown into a culture that she didn’t have any understanding of. I think it was a bridge too far. But, hey… I am a person who’s capable of admitting when they’re wrong. At this moment, given all the information and what I know to be true today, I think Lucinda Dickey was the best choice we could have made… She brought a certain point of view that all the other breakdancers in the film didn’t have. I think that’s also true for the love story. Me being portrayed as a Latino or Black American and a white girl working harmoniously together – that’s something to be admired… There was a chance for everyone to see themselves within the culture… the fact that she was kind of a fish out of water, it helped to bring the culture into mainstream.”

To me these movies are not only special because of their surface pleasures and positive messages, but because of the ways they as pieces of art have transformed through the passage of time and changing of cultural context. I don’t want to sound like I’m overstating things, so let’s not say that the two BREAKIN’ movies contain within them a schematic of the entire fabric of reality, of order and chaos, entropy and negentropy. Let’s just say they’re an alchemist’s handbook to creation and metamorphosis. That’s all.

Consider that they were made as exploitation – an Israeli production company known for ninja movies, trying to monetize the novelty of a largely African American and Latin-American subculture. At the time, most of the world assumed breakdancing was a fad, and Cannon pumped out two movies in a year as if the expiration date was barreling down on them.

Yet 37 years later, in a world I believe was partially nudged into existence by the popularity of the BREAKIN’ movies, breakdancing not only didn’t go away – it became an Olympic sport! The hip hop culture from which it sprung not only outlasted any fad (ninjas, Lambada, Chuck Norris movies, Cannon Films), it replaced much of what had been pop culture up to that point. BREAKIN’ 1&2’s featured rapper Ice-T (who in 1984 had only had a few underground singles) later pioneered a new style, became a massively successful recording artist, then a movie star, then a star of one of the longest running shows in television history, and he’s not even the most successful rapper to take that path. I think you could argue it’s more novel these days to have a rock band than to be a rapper or make beats. Maybe it’s time for ROCKIN’.

In the context of this post-BREAKIN’ 2 world, the sequel’s once glaring lack of authenticity has metamorphosized into one of its biggest strengths. As Quinones said in the book, “It had a very different tone and atmosphere… much lighter, much more playfulness. All those things that I’ve really come to admire about the picture I initially didn’t care for at the time.”

There are more accurate fictional documents of early hip hop culture, but there’s no other day-glo pop-fantasy stick-it-to-the-man breakdance musical. BREAKIN’ 2: ELECTRIC BOOGALOO is the ‘80s as we wish they were, as dreamt by the ‘80s that actually existed, grown into a model for ideals to strive for today. We deserve to live in a world with this much color, where we get to play music loud all day, give ourselves cool names and flashy outfits if we want to, where our artistic expression has the power to repel developers away from our cherished neighborhood institutions and inspire rich people to stop being racist and to use their money for good. We deserve a world where, outside of occasional non-violent gang rumbles, people of all races not only get along, but genuinely love and enjoy each other. And if Ice-T wants to periodically do songs summarizing what’s up, that would be cool too.

I believe in the beat.

*56 Fremont Place in Los Angeles, which once belonged to Mary Pickford and was later in THE ARTIST and was Famke Janssen’s home in TAKEN and TAKEN 2 (which, I really want to emphasize, rhymes with BREAKIN’ and BREAKIN’ 2). It’s across the street from a mansion that appeared in Charlie Chaplin’s THE KID and was Rocky Balboa’s home in ROCKY III and in real life belonged to Muhammad Ali, which is why there are pictures of Ali hanging out with the cast of BREAKIN’ 2.

FASHION HIGHLIGHTS:

Lots of Roos product placement (including “Team Roos” t-shirts and a painter’s cap that Special K wears), “Say Pepsi” painter caps somebody must’ve been passing out, a guy dancing at Radiotron (and later outside) in a Tor Johnson mask, Kelly’s handcuff belt that she even wears to a straight dance audition, Ozone’s civil war soldier hat with animal tail on the back, Turbo’s marching band jacket, much more prominent use of fluorescent colors and zebra prints.

STYLISTIC NOTE:

Part 1’s end credits used a cool font on a red background. Part 2 uses a more standard font, but in yellow, on a blue background. It’s such a small thing, but I really think these extra splashes of color are part of what make the BREAKIN’ movies the BREAKIN’ movies. I love it like I love colored vinyl.

TRIVIA:

This one doesn’t have Van Damme in it, but Lela Rochon, who was in KNOCK OFF with him, is apparently dancing in it somewhere. (I’ve read that she was also in the first one, and was married to Shabba Doo at the time.) “Toy Soldiers” singer Martika is also reportedly a dancer in this somewhere, but I don’t really know what she looks like.

UPDATE: And as Mark Palermo informed me in the comments, Angelo Moore from Fishbone is in there too! He can be seen right after Ozone comes down from dancing on the roof of Miracles. Fishbone’s first EP (the one with “Party at Ground Zero”) had come out a few months before the movie – I wonder if any fans noticed him?

Shrimp claims in interviews that Lionel Richie’s song “Dancing on the Ceiling” was inspired by his famous BREAKIN’ 2 scene literally about dancing on the ceiling. Normally I assume claims like that are probly bullshit, but since Shrimp was in the “All Night Long” video

and toured with Richie as part of Shabba Doo’s crew, maybe it really is true and verified from the horse’s mouth. (The song’s Wikipedia page doesn’t address it.)

Shrimp went on to play Urkelbot on Family Matters and I guess was sort of the go-to guy for choreographing the toon community in the ‘90s, since he worked with Bart Simpson on “Do the Bartman” and MC Skat Cat in the “Opposites Attract” video.

Shabba Doo later choreographed for Madonna, co-starred in Cannon and Joel Silberg’s further danceploitation movie LAMBADA, was in TANGO & CASH and STEEL FRONTIER, and directed the 1993 film RAVE, DANCING TO A DIFFERENT BEAT, co-written with HALLOWEEN 6 writer Daniel Farrands. In 2017 he made a documentary about the history of locking called THE KINGS OF CRENSHAW. He was still trying to develop a serious-toned BREAKIN’ 3 when he suddenly died on December 29th, 2020.

FURTHER READING:

This Grantland piece by Matt Patches is focused on why the “Electric Boogaloo” subtitle became such an overused joke, but it has plenty of info I haven’t seen anywhere else, including who the writers were and what they were dealing with.

How ‘Breakin’ 2: Electric Boogaloo’ Became a Movie and Then a Meme

That book I quoted from in this piece is really an incredible resource if you’re a fan of these movies, other Sam Firstenberg works like the NINJA series and the AMERICAN NINJA series, or just Cannon films in general. Definitely recommended.

FURTHER VIEWING:

Shabba Doo in particular comes across really well in this reunion only half a year before his unfortunate death. I also like the appearance by part 1’s Christopher McDonald, who seems extremely proud of BREAKIN’ and seems very sincere when he congratulates the others on the sequel.

Oh, and by the way, BREAKIN’ 2 (but not part 1) can currently be streamed free (with ads) on Tubi.

This entry was posted on Thursday, January 21st, 2021 at 3:24 pm and is filed under Musical, Reviews. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can skip to the end and leave a response. Pinging is currently not allowed.

25 Responses to “BREAKIN’ 2: ELECTRIC BOOGALOO”

  1. The earliest jokey use of the “Electric Boogaloo” subtitle that I ever heard was a MYSTERY SCIENCE THEATER 3000 convention, which used that subtitle for its second year in 1996.
    https://mst3k.fandom.com/wiki/ConventioCon_ExpoFest-A-Rama_2:_Electric_Boogaloo

  2. This review is going to be one of those works of art that I return to time and time again. I know that I say things like this all the time, but thank you for your deeply humanistic and funny writing. Like the excellent movie BREAKIN’ 2: ELECTRIC BOOGALOO, it is full of joy, positivity, unique personality and most importantly, amazingly organized rhythm, tone, color and counterpoint that builds on what exists in the art that you love (and what you love about the world), in service to furthering us all as a people and making us happy while you’re (and we’re) at it.

    The BREAKIN’ crew’s (and their associates’, and followers’) major contribution to the world of dance is powerful because despite not being in an audio format, it is absolutely music. A person who is unable to hear could watch the work of Shabba Doo, Boogaloo Shrimp and Special K and know what music is.

    There are emcees who rhyme like dancers because a lifelong immersion in dance culture, and though fewer in number, there are writers this is true of too. That’s only one of the innumerable things that make you so special, Vern.

    Don “Campbellock” Campbell from The Lockers also passed away last year, which was really sad. He was great. That whole early breakdancing scene is the best and I am deeply appreciative for the way that you’ve regarded its participants as significant, cross-pollinating artists. These founding parents of modern dance are deserving of a respect and admiration that we see far more often applied to punk, hip-hop, electronic, noise and indie-rock musicians. I know that poster is hilarious, but their work really is street jazz – a distinctly American and inherently-unrepetitive contribution to the very potential of human expression. It’s funny because it’s true, and because they’re so happy about it.

    There was a really happy, quiet smile on my face the whole time that I read this review and a major laugh at the idea of ROCKIN’. Haven’t seen it in ages, but I think ROCKULA (costarring Toni Basil) is the closest thing we ever got to that, which is funny because it too features a lot of breakdancing. Cannon’s gotta be Cannon! (I’ve yet to see Basil’s SLAUGHTERHOUSE ROCK, is anyone here a fan of that one?)

    Also, has anyone seen the BOOGALOO SHRIMP documentary yet?

    If I may talk about my own JCVDs and Tom Laughlins for a bit:

    It’s kind of annoying and gossip-raggy to play the “who dated who” game, but I feel it warrants mention that Toni Basil’s dancing must have had an undeniable influence on the postpunk (and post-glam/post-protopunk) genres, along with what she and her peers brought to hip-hop. In addition to choreographing the constantly-swiped-from “Once in a Lifetime” video, Basil dated Devo’s Jerry Casale for years and was an early champion of his group. Also, her collaborator in The Lockers Craig Allen “Spazz Attack” Rothwell appeared in one of their earliest videos.

    There’s this cool video on YouTube where Toni Basil talks about learning about Devo through her friends (and some of their earliest non-Ohio champions), David Bowie and Iggy Pop, and that she introduced the group to the experimental filmmaker Bruce Conner. Devo basically invented the music video as we now know it, and this was in many ways a cultural-normalization of what were previously very, very underground approaches to filmmaking. It blows my mind to think about how many connections she made, how many platforms she offered and how many creative allegiances she fostered.

    I would also like to point out that Devo formed in reaction to the Kent State Shootings. An art collective that changed all of filmmaking originated in response to a terrible and grisly tragedy, and direct exposure to miserable forms of institutional brutality. I look forward to meeting tomorrow’s Devos, you know?

    All of that is so awesome, and I would like to offer that I don’t think Bowie stopped learning about movement with Lindsay Kemp. Their professional relationship is more skewed towards Basil choregraphing the Glass Spider tour, but they were friends for at least a decade before that.

    Also, speculative biography is kind of a crummy thing to engage in, but in this case I think it’s cool – I bet you Iggy Pop used to watch Toni and Teri Garr’s dance routines on TV when he was a kid and at some point thanked them for it.

    Relatedly, maybe it’s just me but when I hear, say, those Mark Mothersbaugh Wes Anderson scores I can’t help but think that Basil and co. taught those dudes a lot about thinking nimbly and with precision.

    Although she’s a total iconoclast, I also think she taught a lot of people about the value of a collective force. Go from there where you will.

    The influence that a few awesome people can have on the whole world is really remarkable, as is the fact that we all exist in one big mesh.

    If any genius creative people or benevolent rich people are reading, Michael Chambers and Toni Basil would be great in a positivity-and-dance-themed equivalent to UNFORGIVEN. I couldn’t write or fund this myself, but someone should. It would be the greatest middle finger ever to a lot of people who deserve it, and more importantly, it would be positive and empowering art.

    I really value being among people like the Vern crew, because you are all thinkers who value happiness and sharing along with excellence.

    Also, it is always so good and funny to see Urkelbot, and I hadn’t known who portrayed him.

    Vern, you you are an educator, an artist, a daily inspiration, and as far as I’m concerned, a regular Toni Basil. Thank you for everything.

  3. I like BREAKIN’, but I love/b> BREAKIN’ 2: ELECTRIC BOOGALOO. That movie is just crazy fun for all the right reasons.

  4. Sorry for the fucked up html. That’s what happens when you try to do that shit at 3am.

  5. Oh yeah, and I’ve always thought that shit-and-chuckle-heads that have long gone around acting like they are superior to the title ELECTRIC BOOGALAOO were such dummies because it is obviously a title that knows it is funny, making it extra-obnoxious how people who do not seem to understand what good jokes are have always loved being all “Ha ha, this fuckin’ shit is funny, but only I noticed that”, even before the final cultural coffin-nail of a form of humor being adapted by deplorable racists.

    It fuckin’ rhymes, you pea-brains!!!!! Their names are Shabba Doo and Boogaloo Shrimp because they are fun to say, and memorable! Don’t reward yourself for acting like you made some gigantic conceptual breakthrough for RECOGNIZING THE VERY CLEARLY STATED ACTUALITY OF A WORK OF ART, you frozen ice-creatures made of recycled pee-pee.

    I mean, the fuck. Do these people pick up Rubber Soul and go “Hey, these are love songs right here! How dare they! I want some tough guy shit, the fuck do these wussies think I want. NOT THIS, let me tell you that. I will make fun of them for absolutely nothing at all, that will show them. And what the fuck kind of name is that for a band, am I right? Also, It’s Rubber SOLES. Who do these dumb fuckers from another culture think they are, being funny and entertaining in their art and terminology?”

    Anyway, that FAREWELL TO THE FLESH thing really made me happy, because on another coast I have long-gone around talking (in very Vern-indebted ways) about things being SUCH-AND-SUCH PART II: THE RETURN OF DURANT.

  6. Curt: Google has completely screwed up the Usenet search function, but I found a joking reference to “ROCKY II: ELECTRIC BOOGALOO” from July 1994 in alt.religion.kibology, which was kind of a precursor to later joke and meme sites. Then in 1995, a couple of people used it for post titles in MST3K groups (“Bacon Bits II: Electric Boogaloo” and “About Time II electric boogaloo”). It looks like MST3K fandom really was a big vector for the catchphrase.

  7. You probably already know this but Angelo Moore (of Fishbone) is also a dancer in this movie.

    Related Trivia: DANCIN’ ON THE CEILING was the first non-soundtrack tape I ever bought, just because I liked the title.

  8. No – I did not know Angelo Moore was in it! Do you know where? Have you spotted him?

  9. Hehe, I think of myself as a man of average or above average intelligence, A.L.F., but somehow I made it to today without seeing the “hidden” meaning of the title Rubber Soul. You really do learn something new every day, even if you’re sometimes ashamed of yourself for not having learned it sooner.

  10. Aw, don’t give yourself the business like that Johnny Utah, that one took me a long time too, and I am totally uncomprehending and not smart at all! Some things are worth the wait, and it’s really something when you don’t even realize you were waiting!

    I think it finally registered with me because of a combination of connecting that band Bouncing Souls with the little tag on Doc Martens that says “with bouncing soles”, and that story about Ringo wanting to name their subsequent album in humorous response to The Rolling Stones’ 1966 LP Aftermath. Now, Revolver is a great, evocative, immediate and subtle title, but I’d much prefer if it were called After Geography.

    I also love the story about how they wanted to title their last record Everest and have the cover art be a photo of the group atop the highest peak in the world, but then they got lazy and decided to call it Abbey Road and just take a picture of them crossing the street. I particularly like this because it’s really good that a bunch of unprepared superfans fans did not have cause to insanely attempt a pilgrimage to the peak of Mount Everest! I have worked at a lot of music retailers and I would not like to see some of the folks I’ve met who barge to stores yelling inquiries about the location of “Beatle Records” trying to climb that shit, particularly this one guy “Beatles Chris”.

  11. Also, Lionel Richie is one of the best dudes ever and I love it when he says his excellent catchphrase, “Outrageous!” (like he said when Prince and the Revolution kept winning all those American Music Awards) and I love to say it in my own life too. Seriously, that is up there with “in my opinion” in terms of constantly-ganked catchphrasery. Thank you Lionel and Vernon for the inspiration, you both make being a good person seem like so much fun.

    Dang there are some pretty cool “Outrageous!” themed shirts for sale on lionelrichie.com, that is a good reason to get my paper together if I’ve ever seen one. Also my birthday is in the month of April, everybody. This is less of a request for gifts and more of a recommended party theme for your own socially-distanced celebrations of myself (and Lionel).

    I hope that sometimes Nicole Richie catches herself saying things are “outrageous” and then laughs warmly and appreciatively.

  12. It’s been a long-ass time since I’ve seen an Electric Boogaloo joke out in the wild. I think both because the joke has become a dead horse and because these days, Hollywood is less about unnecessary sequels than unnecessary reboots/prequels/reimaginings. So you wouldn’t joke about Titanic 2: Electric Boogaloo, you’d joke about X-Men Origins: Titanic. Of course, in reality, they generally just use the same title over again–The Thing/The Thing, Halloween/Halloween–so all you can really do is rue Hollywood going from coked-out producers finding out the best way to combine Arnold Schwarzeneggers and explosions, to the same twenty or so properties getting revived again and again.

    Well, that and Terminator: Genysis. We could all have a good laugh over that!

  13. I believe the most current reboot/sequel titling format is THE [FRANCHISE NAME]. THE PREDATOR. THE BATMAN. THE WOLVERINE. THE STAR TREK. THE RAMBO. THE AMADEUS. THE GANDHI. THE THE THING.

  14. THE BALLISTIC: THE ECKS VS THE SEVER

    THE JOE’S APARTMENT

    THE MA

  15. THE PURPLE RAIN
    THE STEP UP 2 THE STREETS
    THE LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, THE FABULOUS STAINS
    THE POPEYE
    THE KAZAAM
    THE BADLANDS
    THE HAPPINESS
    THE CRIMEWAVE
    THE SCOOB
    THE INDIANA JONES
    THE OTHER MUSIC
    ABBOT AND COSTELLO MEET THE FRANKENSTEIN
    THE I, FRANKENSTEIN
    THE LUV
    THE PHFFFT
    THE $
    THE FIVE BUCKS
    THE EASY MONEY
    THE EASY LIVING
    BACK TO THE SCHOOL
    THE SEARCH FOR THE ONE-EYED JIMMY
    THE FRANKENFISH
    THE SPAWN
    THE BENJI, THE HUNTED
    THE DEREK AND THE CLIVE GET THE HORN
    BUT I’M THE CHEERLEADER
    THE GRUMPY OLD MEN
    THE ISHTAR
    THE ARGO
    THE FRESH
    THE REBEL WITHOUT A CAUSE
    THE JAILHOUSE ROCK
    THE CELEBRITY (Probably would star, like, the one person in Hollywood that still defends Woody Allen. OOOOOOHHHHH!!!!!)
    THE SUNSET BOULEVARD
    THE ERASERHEAD
    THE HAPPY CAMPERS
    THE BATMAN RETURNS
    THE EIGHT LEGGED FREAKS (Still wouldn’t have a dash in the title!)
    THE MUNCHIE
    THE NIKETOWN
    THE LAUNDRY MATT
    THE NAPPIN’
    THE DUDE, WHERE’S MY CAR?
    THE HOME FRIES
    THE HOPE FLOATS
    THE LIMELIGHT
    THE DRILLBIT TAYLOR
    THE WILSON
    THE SCREWBALL HOTEL
    THE JUST ONE OF THE GUYS
    THE KIDS
    THE RUSHMORE
    THE DICK
    THE KANSAS CITY
    THE WELCOME TO WOOP WOOP
    THE SWEETIE
    THE SUSPIRIA (Kinda amazed they didn’t call it this, TBH)
    THE SHOCK
    THE SHOCK CORRIDOR
    BOB DYLAN: THE NO DIRECTION HOME
    THE ALWAYS
    THE DISORDERLIES
    NO RETREAT, THE NO SURRENDER
    THE TRUE STORIES
    THE ADAPTATION
    THE BODY PUZZLE
    THE GARFIELD
    THE FOODFIGHT
    THE SWIMMING POOL
    THE SPRUNG
    THE ABSOLUTE BEGINNERS
    THE LOVE AND THE MERCY
    THE DOG STAR MAN
    THE STAR SPANGLED TO DEATH
    HOLD ME WHILE I’M THE NAKED
    THE HUMAN HIGHWAY
    GIVE MY REGARDS TO THE BROAD STREET
    THE FRANK
    THE WHO’S THE MAN?
    THE WHAT’S UP, DOC?
    THE SPACE COWBOYS
    THE PSYCHO
    THE HOUSE PARTY
    THE BASKET CASE 2
    THE BEBE’S KIDS
    THE BABY SNAKES
    THE BUCKET OF BLOOD
    THE DRACULA UNTOLD
    THE DRACULA 2000
    THE DUNGEONS AND THE DRAGONS
    FORGET THE PARIS
    THE PASSION OF THE JOAN OF ARC
    THE GERTRUD
    THE ROVER DANGERFIELD
    THE ANTZ
    THE TOY STORY
    THROW THE MAMA FROM THE TRAIN
    THE READY TO RUMBLE
    THE LOVE STREAMS
    THE GLORIA
    THE RATBOY
    THE R-XMAS
    THE FRIDAY
    THE NEXT FRIDAY
    THE FRIDAY AFTER THE NEXT
    THE ARCHIE: RETURN TO RIVERDALE
    THE COVEN
    THE AGENT CODY BANKS
    THE PROBLEM CHILD
    THE GIRL, INTERRUPTED
    RIDING IN CARS WITH THE BOYS
    THE LITTLE NICKY
    THE GREETINGS
    THE FOOLISH
    THE FAR OUT MAN
    THE SEX ON THE INTERNET
    THE UNCLE P
    SO THIS IS THE NEW YORK
    THE GLEN AND THE RANDA
    THE TAKING TIGER MOUNTIAN
    THE HAIL THE CONQUERING HERO
    THE SLIME CITY
    THE I.Q.
    THE TOMMY
    HEY, THE GOOD LOOKIN’
    KENNY AND THE COMPANY (Reggie Bannister learns ballet)
    THE O
    THE O, LUCKY MAN!
    THE CRANK
    THE TOYS
    THE ENTRAPMENT
    THE JUST VISITING
    LIKE THE WATER FOR CHOCOLATE
    THE ONE NIGHT AT MCCOOL’S
    STRAIGHT OUTTA THE COMPTON
    THE HOME ALONE
    THE KURT COBAIN: MONTAGE OF HECK
    THE DEVIL AND THE DANIEL JOHNSTON
    THE LAST DAYS OF THE DISCO
    THE EVITA
    THE PRIVATE PARTS
    THE NEVER BEEN KISSED
    THE PUMPKINHEAD
    THE COUSINS
    THE BEVERLY HILLS NINJA
    THE GNOME NAMED NORM
    THE CATS DON’T DANCE
    THE JOSH AND THE S.A.M.
    THE KING KONG
    THE FIVE MINUTES TO LIVE
    THE STRANGE MAGIC
    THE LEMONADE JOE
    THE IN THE SOUP
    ADVENTURES OF THE PLUTO NASH
    GIMME THE DANGER
    THE GHOST DOG (Seriously though please let this movie happen and please let it star Nessa from The Bernie Mac Show, thank you universe.)
    THE CLERKS (I don’t doubt this one will happen, starring, like, Kevin Smith and Johnny Depp’s kids or whatever.)
    THE SHARKBOY AND THE LAVAGIRL
    THE HILLS HAVE THE EYES
    THE MOLLY’S GAME
    THE SOUTHSIDE WITH THE YOU
    THE BACKBEAT
    THE SFW
    THE EL MARIACHI / THE LA CHINOISE (etc etc)
    THE LIVING OUT LOUD
    THE FOR LOVE OF THE GAME
    THE SHAMPOO
    THE SPICE WORLD
    THE HIP-HOP WITCH
    I LOVE THE TROUBLE
    THE CLUELESS
    THE HAIRSPRAY
    THE LIFE
    THE SYDNEY / THE HARD EIGHT
    THE GIRL 6
    THE FEMALIEN
    THE MARTIN SCORCESE PRESENTS: THE BLUES
    THE COACH CARTER
    THE ZIGGY

  16. Oh yeah, one time my friends and I were at a panel at San Diego Comic Con ’04 and some awesome and excellent and nervous little kid asked Keanu Reeves “What….was the best part….of….making….The Constantine.” So, for sure that one, which is maybe my ultimate “THE” ever.

    Hi fellas, if you’re reading!

  17. To speak of many of my recent themes in a coda form: “Back in the days when I was young (I’m not a kid anymore)” of the video store that I am always talking about here I had this coworker who was a part of the security department. She relished in calling it THE SIDEWAYS, which was great and always good for lots of laughs. Unlike many of the dipstick-and-salamander contingency of the sales clerks, I understood that she knew she was being funny. The woman obviously knew how to read and we had about a hundred copies of the fuckin’ thing staring at her every day for about three months.

    THE MR. TURNER
    THE GOOD MORNING
    THE GOOD BURGER
    ALL ABOUT THE EVE
    THE CLEOPATRA
    MEET THE DAVE
    THE MUSIC AND THE LYRICS
    THE MAN WHO LOVED THE WOMEN
    THE BABY’S DAY OUT
    THE BAD RONALD
    THE D.C. CAB
    THE YENTIL
    THE GATTACA
    THE CLICK
    THE PERSONA
    THE BOTTLE ROCKET
    THE RHINESTONE
    THE OSCAR
    THE JAWS
    THE SPLASH
    THE SCREWED
    THE CHUCKY
    THE KNOCK OFF
    THE TRUCK TURNER
    THE JAMES BOND
    THE WOODSTOCK
    THE RHUBARB
    THE S. DARKO
    THE GUMBY
    THE TURBOMAN (“And just to be clear, this isn’t Turboman the toy. This is the origin story of the human Turboman that the toy is based on”)
    THE RUGBY TIGER (“And just to be clear, this isn’t Rugby Tiger the toy. This is the origin story of the feline Rugby Tiger that the toy is based on”)
    THE THEODORE REX
    THE RAWHEAD REX
    THE BLANKMAN

    ….and to cut myself off for the night:

    JETSONS ORIGINS: ELROY

    and

    LAWNMOWER MAN ORIGINS: THE CYBO-MAN

  18. THE PASSION OF THE CHRIST

  19. THE C.H.U.D.

  20. BREAKIN’ ORIGINS: ACOUSTIC BOOGALOO

  21. Just wanted to chime in to congratulate Vern on a masterpiece of a review. Redeeming the legacy of the Breakin’ franchise, putting it into cultural context, *and* squeezing Urkelbot in there. Brilliant.

    As for preferred joke subtitles, for me it’s either THE SECRET OF THE OOZE or THE LEGEND OF CURLY’S GOLD.

  22. Oh yeah, THE LEGEND OF CURLY’S GOLD is always a good one, my friend has a Best of Sinead O’Connor playlist called that.

    One of the earlier trendy formats for titles was THE SUCH-AND-SUCH STORY, like THE BUDDY HOLLY STORY or THE GENE KRUPA STORY or THE BENNY GOODMAN STORY or THE HANK WILLIAMS STORY. That always makes me laugh when I encounter it, and there are a LOT of old records called that too. I’m nearly always like, this is just a bunch of fuckin’ songs, there is no story here!

    Here are a few other good ones that I thought of, a few of which actually gave me reason to mildly chuckle.

    THE ROCKULA
    THE ANGUS
    THE GATSBY
    THE NAPOLEON
    THE HOUSE (any of ’em)
    THE FROST (JACK FROST remake, either horror or Keaton)
    THE DEMONIC TOY (A “scaled back” reboot)
    THE SLEAZY-E (This movie would bridge continuity gaps between the very different interpretations of the Sleazy E character as seen in the “Fuck wit Dre Day (And Everybody’s Celebrating)” and “Real Compton City”/”Muthaphuckkin Gs” music videos.)
    THE COUNT FLOYD
    THE GARTH
    THE WILD ROSE (This one would be just for me, I think)
    THE MANIAC MANSION
    THE AMERICAN GRAFITTI
    THE LEAUGE (terrible A LEAUGE OF THEIR OWN remake with a lot of CGI-assisted faux-thletics)
    THE GUMP

    Here are ones I think they will actually make:

    THE RIDDICK
    THE XXX
    THE CBGBS
    THE HOOK or THE PAN or something, watch, they will probably make THE RUFIO for Disney Plus and they won’t give me a buck, I hereby predict.
    THE SKELLINGTON
    THE FREAKS AND THE GEEKS
    (Depressing and inevitable Judd-Apatow-needs-a-few-more-Apa-bucks cash-in. Would be good if it focused mainly on Busy Phillips checking in on all the different cast members in a cheap-o “We couldn’t get everyone in one place at once, and anyway she was the best one” production. Would be extra funny if they were all obviously standing six feet away from each other and/or were never in the same shot for most of the movie.)
    THE DREDD
    (I was thinking about Vern’s regular mentioning of these THE PHANTOM and THE MUSKETEER sorta movies, and a few leaps of comparable-genre-logic made me realize that, yes, there is an undeniable fact that we all hold closely to our souls, and that is that we are in a world where Judge Dredd movies are already and actually a thing.

    Thankfully, we also live in a world where English people love seeing their English properties realized, and theirs is a people that actively participate in their nation’s media in a way that much of the U.S. o’ America (among other nations) does not. I don’t think that movies like BEAN, TRAINSPOTTING 2, BRIDGET JONES 3 and WE ARE HERE TO TELL YOU WHAT REALLY HAPPENED TO BRIAN JONES, BUT WE COULDN’T AFFORD A DECENT BRIAN JONES WIG were for anybody over here in the states, even if their ad campaigns tried to make them seem like they at least partially were. We live in a world where the Democrats once again have the ability to make social change and attempt to heal terrifying acts of destruction. We also live in a world where a lot of people are going around complaingly muttering to themselves about how good Karl Urban Dredd was, and these people are, in my encounters, almost entirely creative and positive types. We once lived in a world where you got a miracle like BLADE every once in a while and nothing else, and where people knew how to dream of a better future from the brief shining moments of greatness we were allowed. (P.S. THE WHISTLER.) We live in a world where TWO huge current media properties are dystopian genre pieces adapted from the work of comics writers from Britian and Ireland. We also live in a world where a lot of people “across the pond” (and elsewhere) are very, very angry at Boris Johnson.

    We’ll live in a world where we see Mega-City One again we will see it in some sort of place where the best sort of people in the world can assemble, you like to think of those places as being called “movie theaters” but I now like to think of them in a more proper and respectful fashion, with these venues for movegoing being rereferred to as THE FUTURE HOME OF THE THIRD (OR FOURTH, DEPENDING HOW YOU LOOK AT IT) JUDGE DREDD MOVIE. I will see you all there and I will be stoned and I will be caffeinated and I will talking about Brian Bolland too loudly.

    THE METROID or THE SAMUS. (When I was a little kid I used to watch that “Captain N and the Videogames” show, and for some reason I imagined that the Metroid character must have the most intense, badass and imaginative adventures in her own property, but I was let down to realize that it was just a very good shooting and jumping video game, and I have never been much of one for video games. When I first saw ALIENS I was like, oh, this is sort of what I imagined that Metroid did, this rules.

    Anyway, they should make good movie of this video game and have David O. Russell direct it with JLaw as Samus in some kind of amazing THREE KINGS/JOY mash-up – or way, way better, they should get Brian DePalma to direct it with Rebecca Romijn starring, thank you and you’re welcome, world.)

    THE HENDRIX
    THE LITTLE RICHARD

    (These movies could cross over in what I would like to think of as being THE ROCKAVERSE or possibly THE BODIDDLEYVERSE.)

    I also don’t think that the DEADPOOL ship has sailed and I bet they rush out a few more Wanda Loves Vision Green-Screeny Superhero things before the pandemic subsides, so maybe we’ll get THE LOBO like I keep thinking they will make, one where he swears a lot.

    I’ve always thought it was great that there was never a follow-up to DOUG’S FIRST MOVIE, but if there ever is they must and could only call it THE DOUG.

    Another one of my heroes passed away in recent months, David L. Lander. (He was most famous for his role as Squiggy on Laverne and Shirley.) At one point, I had thought they should make a spin-off about The Weasels from WHO FRAMED ROGER RABBIT?, except it would be some type of A GOOFY MOVIE or Beetlejuice cartoon kinda crap, a show where they are all nice guys and help out Baby Herman or whatever, like Pete is in that bizarre Goofy universe. And, like, it could be very “Fan Service”y in a cool way, Janelle Monáe plays Powerline Jr or something or other and she sings some type of we-don’t-have-to-pay-The-Artist’s-estate Disney-owned soundalike of “Mountians” or something. (I mean, Janelle wouldn’t do something tacky like that, but you get the idea I think.)

    Disney could still make THE WEASELS, but the show would be absolutely be more a piece of spinoff trash without Lander’s excellent voicework, though in a sense it’d be a different kind of funny with Billy West awkwardly and lazily imitating the character or whatever, one of those “That doesn’t sound like Popeye, it sounds like Fry” kinda things. The world is not as good without David Lander and Richard Williams, two of the best of their respective fields.

    Relatedly, THE FONZARELLI. Also, DISNEY’S THE BONKERS.

    To clarify some of the above that I doubt anyone cares about: The movie is actually TWENTY BUCKS, and I think my misremembering of the title tells you all a bit about where I am at these days. Also, SEX ON THE INTERNET was a title that appeared (for what I remember as being quite a long time) on the Master P IMDB, and was a major topic of conversation with myself and a friend after I saw FOOLISH for the second time and I GOT THE HOOK UP for the first, at this dude’s apartment back in ’08. Also, I would like to point out that FOOLISH is the second film in which a performer besides Robin Harris portrayed Robin Harris. I understand wanting to pay tribute to someone so good and memorable, but it really is weird and strangely arrogant that there were two awkward impersonations of somebody so distinctly inimitable.

    Thank you all for your kindness about my occasional times of great enthusiasm and active posting, this place is the best and has the funniest people and also the pandemic is so boring. However, I feel like I should take this distinctly non-BREAKIN rambling and riffing to over to Potpourri. Vern’s masterwork review deserves a better and purer forum for progressive, thankful and happy BREAKIN’ conversation.

    Also, they absolutely will make this someday but it won’t be titled what it should: ALMOST FAMOUS ORIGINS: LESTER.

  23. A.L.F., you have compiled an excellent list. I must say that BACK TO THE SCHOOL is a film that must happen.

    And THE DOG STAR MAN would make a good double feature with THE MESHES OF THE AFTERNOON.

  24. Thank you, Curt, that is really nice of you to say! I was worried that deluge was one without anything enjoyable to it at all. BACK TO THE SCHOOL really made me laugh for no reason, I’m really happy you liked that one. I’m trying not to Special Edition the shit out of those ideas, with sharing a lot of my “Oh actually just THE PLUTO NASH is funnier” sorta fussiness. 

    THE MERSHES OF THE AFTERNOON would be good, maybe it could just be called THE MERSHES. I will tell you what is straight up the biggest Maya Deren ripoff ever, that awesome “The Gentleman Who Fell” video that they watched on Beavis and Butt-head that time. Man, was I ever sorta-disappointed to actually see MERSHES ’43 and realize what was being swiped from, another real METROID/ALIENS moment for me. 

    Also, that Milla album is legitimately amazing, to the point where I feel it is even better than some Kate Bush records. I hope she makes a second LP one of these days, and that she has been secretly woodshedding new material for the past quarter-century. Speaking of an ill-ass minute ago, I love the picture of her with Beck where she is wearing a ridiculous Spencer’s Gifts looking shirt that says “Marijuana”, a picture where she looks like she would be spending too much time at Spencer’s Gifts by virtue of both being a kid and looking hilariously stoned and being in a good mood about it. I hope she still gets mad blazed a few times a month or week and listens to Cocteau Twins or plays Resident Evil on a Playstation 2 they gave her in 2000 or whatever. Someone should photoshop Beck the fuck out of that picture and make it the new Bernie meme sorta thing, then Milla could make official merch of a shirt with herself wearing the weed shirt and then give all the money to charity like Senator Sanders is.

    Also, thank the powers that be that there aren’t a billion shitty Maya Deren biopics, THE MAYA or something, like how we now have fifty billion presumptuous Earth-2 Emily Dickinsons running around in movie and TV land. Most ridiculous ANTZ/BUG’S LIFE slash INFAMOUS/CAPOTE shit of all time, in my opinion. Why not just go ahead and make both DA VINCI ORIGINS: MONA LISA and THE MONA, you know?

    Also, THE DOG STAR MAN could work as the title of the Keanu Reeves equivalent to WALK THE LINE, or a STANDING IN THE SHADOWS OF MOTOWN kinda movie that tells us who laid down all those funky and memorable basslines that we all love so much.

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