"CATCH YOU FUCKERS AT A BAD TIME?"

The Killer’s Game

You bet your ass I’m gonna go see a theatrically released Dave Bautista vehicle directed by action legend J.J. Perry. THE KILLER’S GAME came out during the week I was traveling and it’s already down to limited showings but I got in there in time. I’m glad I did, but I gotta admit I can already feel it dissolving from my memory as I type this. I didn’t know it was based on a book and that it’s been in development since the ’90s (more on that later), but coming now it’s very well-worn material within the familiar Wacky Assassins mode of action filmmaking (think THE BIG HIT, LOVE AND A BULLET, THE TOURNAMENT, SMOKIN’ ACES, BULLET TRAIN, POLAR, ACCIDENT MAN and its sequel or HOTEL ARTEMIS, which even features both of THE KILLER’S GAME’s leads).

Bautista (MASTER Z: THE IP MAN LEGACY) stars as Joe Flood, elite assassin who in the opening scene kills an arms dealer in the balcony of an opera house. All he really has to do is come in wearing a tux and kill a couple guards to get up there. It’s kind of funny that this is the last role before Bautista decided to slim down from his giant wrestler body, because his huge size seems like a disadvantage in this job (along with his attention-grabbing hand and neck tattoos). That’s not a complaint, though! I enjoy improbable muscleman characters – Schwarzenegger playing scientists, etc. (read the rest of this shit…)

September 23rd, 2024 | 12 Comments »

Rebel Ridge

REBEL RIDGE is the latest from writer/director Jeremy Saulnier, who’s now five for five in my book. He did the gory art world satire MURDER PARTY (2007), then broke through with the revenge deconstruction BLUE RUIN (2013), followed by the punks vs. skinheads gem GREEN ROOM (2015) and the eerie Alaskan Gothic HOLD THE DARK (2018). Like that last one, REBEL RIDGE is a straight-to-Netflix movie, but it already seems to be more of a crowdpleaser (being their number one movie for a week) and I appreciate that I’ve been able to watch it twice already, even if I would’ve loved to see it in a theater. (read the rest of this shit…)

September 19th, 2024 | 46 Comments »

Programming note

I’m going on a week long trip for family stuff, so I will not be posting any new reviews next week, and possibly the week after that (depending on how fast I get rolling again). So consider this my end of summer break and/or your break from me. But I promise after I get back I’ll catch up on new releases I miss like Jeremy Saulnier’s REBEL RIDGE and Hot Topic’s BEETLEJUICE2, and hopefully I’ll get in some time to enjoy the freedom of September, when I’m out of summer mode but not fully in Halloween mode and can just review whatever random things catch my interest for a bit. Have fun everybody, be respectful, no parties, I left some money on the table to get pizza and rent videos.

September 5th, 2024 | 40 Comments »

Strange Darling

STRANGE DARLING is a lower budget horror-adjacent thriller currently playing in theaters. It’s one of those movies that premiered at Fantastic Fest, it had a cryptic trailer and some buzz, so I checked it out without knowing much, and that went well for me.

It starts off kind of winkingly pretentious. The first thing you see after the production logos is a card saying “FILMED ENTIRELY ON 35MM FILM.” I laughed out loud. It seems that others have written off the entire movie for that boast/marketing hook/disclaimer/joke/whatever. Pardon my French, but you’re being a bunch of fuckin silly billies. Did you ever see the opening title of UNBREAKABLE? Of course you did, and maybe you joked about it later but it wasn’t the one thing you had to say in any discussion of the movie UNBREAKABLE. Back then you knew how to let things like that go.

Next is a riff on the narration from THE TEXAS CHAIN SAW MASSACRE, leading into the type of knock out opening credits sequence that warms my heart (with an “in” between the actors and the title, even). Then it says “STRANGE DARLING – A Thriller In 6 Chapters.”

I really like this type of storytelling, laying out at the beginning what the approach is gonna be. Oh, okay. Six chapters. Got it. Thanks for the heads up. (read the rest of this shit…)

September 4th, 2024 | 37 Comments »

The Next Karate Kid / Fresh / Milk Money (the end of the summer ’94 series)

Well, my friends, it’s after Labor Day. Time to stop wearing white shoes according to Serial Mom, and time to wrap up the summer retrospective according to me. Some interesting movies that were released at the end of the summer include Richard Rush’s COLOR OF NIGHT (yet another legendarily hated movie at the time time, I thought it was kind of interestingly crazy when I watched it years later) and Roger Avary’s KILLING ZOE (which I’ve always sort of liked but never nearly as much as I wanted to), both released on the 19th. The 26th gave us another Tarantino-connected movie that was a huge deal at the time, Oliver Stone’s NATURAL BORN KILLERS.

I previously reviewed that one so thoroughly that I not only covered the movie, but the earlier script and the making of book, so I’m not going to rehash it much here. I do want to note that Oliver Stone was one of the directors most associated with boomer self analysis – rightly or wrongly, his movies were a big part of the way people my age conceived of the Vietnam War, the JFK assassination, and of course The Doors. But here in the summer of GUMP he was more interested in being contemporary, cutting edge, of-the-moment. I found the movie’s hyperactive collage style annoying at the time, but I can respect it more now, and it was obviously influential for other movies I initially and/or still find annoying like DOMINO and CRANK. His choice to recruit Trent Reznor to produce the soundtrack album proves that the movie is more Lollapalooza than Woodstock. It was also an early foray into cinema for the future Academy Award winning composer (though of course we all know he was in Paul Schrader’s LIGHT OF DAY in 1987, plus “Head Like a Hole” was in CLASS OF 1999 and PRAYER OF THE ROLLERBOYS and “Dead Souls” was in THE CROW).

This finale to the Summer of ’94 series will focus on a triptych of movies with this sort of generational torch passing as part of their plot. They are stories about young people and the lessons they learn from older mentors. (read the rest of this shit…)

September 3rd, 2024 | 11 Comments »

The Adventures of Priscilla, Queen of the Desert vs. It’s Pat

I’ve seen THE ADVENTURES OF PRISCILLA, QUEEN OF THE DESERT before, but haven’t reviewed it, and it’s one of those ones that I might come up blank trying to say something fresh about. It’s extremely well known and appreciated, I’m not sure who out there would need to know about it who doesn’t already, and I’m not qualified to speak on it either as a drag/trans film or as Australian cinema. But it was an unlikely international hit and has stood the test of time, so it would be a shame not to say a few words about it in this series.

Written and directed by Stephan Elliott (FRAUDS starring Phil Collins), it was released on August 10, 1994 in the United States (about a month before it came out in Australia, I guess?). It’s the story of three drag queens in Sydney who get a bus (Priscilla) and travel to central Australia together for a gig at a hotel. Bernadette (Terence Stamp, ALIEN NATION) is a wry older trans woman who ordinarily would avoid this sort of thing, but wants to take her mind off the recent death of her husband. Adam (Guy Pearce in only his fifth movie) is the diva of the group, kind of a pain in the ass but takes it well when they tease him. It’s Tick (Hugo Weaving, RECKLESS KELLY) who got the gig, and he’s nervous as hell because, unbeknownst to his friends, he used to be married to and have a kid with the owner of the hotel (Sarah Chadwick, GROSS MISCONDUCT), and he doesn’t know how it’s gonna go. (read the rest of this shit…)

September 2nd, 2024 | 10 Comments »

The Killer (2024)

For generations, legends have been told of an impending English language remake of John Woo’s THE KILLER (1989). Walter Hill and David Giler wrote one for Richard Gere and Denzel Washington way back in 1992, with other versions announced over the decades, some sounding more promising than others. At times Woo himself was involved as a producer, for most of the last decade he’s been attached as director, and now he’s finally succeeded… as an exclusive to the streaming service Peacock. But what are you gonna do? At least it exists and I’ve been able to watch it twice already.

THE KILLER (original recipe) is an untouchable classic (I personally hold it closer to my heart than THE CROW, which crazily had its also long-gestating remake released on the same day), but I think it’s a perfect movie to loosely remake. It could really be like YOJIMBO in that its story is so elemental, it’s obvious what basics you take from it and the rest is up to you. So that’s what Woo does: he returns to his original idea of a hired assassin who accidentally blinds an innocent singer during a hit, decides to turn against his organization to protect her, meanwhile sparring with a detective on his trail, as the two find out they don’t want to be enemies. Then he changes up all the details and context around that, and tells the story in a whole different style and tone. He’s not pretending to be the same as when he made the first version. This is a Woo who is now nearly 80 and has experienced setting a template for Hong Kong action cinema that influenced movies all around the world, coming to Hollywood and becoming a major director, getting burnt out on that and returning to Asia to make historical epics, and recently coming back to the States to play around in the world of slick mid-budget action goofs.

A bit of advice: If you have been poisoned, will only be living for a few more hours, and want to see the very best version of THE KILLER before you expire, please choose the original. If you’re not dying, but want to see a movie exactly like THE KILLER and not doing a whole different thing, also watch the original. But if your plan is to live for a while, watch countless more movies and be open to different experiences, THE KILLER (2024) is highly recommended. (read the rest of this shit…)

August 29th, 2024 | 14 Comments »

In the Army Now /Blankman / Shake, Rattle & Rock! (August ’94 Comedy Dump)

I don’t review that many straight up comedies, but sometimes it works out in these summer retrospectives, since there’s usually something to be said about them as time capsules and how their themes compare or contrast to other films of the season. After all, this series started with SERIAL MOM, and that’s one of the best movies of the summer. PCU wasn’t good, but it had some interesting things to analyze. Sometimes it’s worth my while.

But here we are in August, with its reputation as a dumping ground for shitty movies, and the ones I’ve been watching haven’t dispelled that notion. None of these felt like enough to write about on their own, but hopefully in the aggregate they might be worth reading about? I don’t know. I trust you to make your own decisions on that.

I am not up on the works of Paulie Shore, but I went into IN THE ARMY NOW (released August 12th) with an open mind. It starts with the sound of Bones (Shore) saying something about “pilgrim” in a John Wayne voice (always, always, always funny, I’m sure we all agree) and then bickering with his buddy Jack (Andy Dick, DOUBLE DRAGON) as they play a video game about tank warfare. It turns out they’re doing this while working their shifts at an electronics store called Crazy Boys in Glendale. Bones is about to get fired, then briefly averts it when his girlfriend (Fabiana Udenio, BRIDE OF RE-ANIMATOR) pretends to be a customer buying an expensive TV from him, but the boss finds out the scam because he tries to have sex with her in the back and Jack uses one of the video cameras to broadcast it on the wall of TVs. (read the rest of this shit…)

August 27th, 2024 | 29 Comments »

The Crow (2024)

Can you believe they finally really did it? They remade THE CROW! We don’t need to go into the whole litany of attempts, but they’ve been announcing versions of this for 16 years. And now they did it. And they released it.

The people I hear from online are, to put it mildly, not eager to welcome this new little birdy into the world. Many people hold the original 1994 movie, and sometimes the James O’Barr comic book it was based on, sacred. It’s a cool movie, people a little younger than me saw it as angsty teens, they feel connected to the soundtrack, and of course it’s a movie about tragedy that you can’t separate from the actual tragedy of Brandon Lee. There are people who instinctively pull out the torches and pitchforks for any remake announcement no matter what, but this one feels more religious, like when THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST came out.

It’s possible that’s an internet exclusive. When a real life friend brought up the remake a while back and I mentioned people being up in arms about it she was completely baffled. But now the reviews are out and critics too are acting like a pile of rotting garbage crawled out of a dumpster, rang their doorbell and asked if it could wear their favorite shirt. (It’s at 29 on Metacritic.) A movie as rejected and disreputable as its hero.

I’m posting from an undisclosed location, I know all the exits, I got my go-bag packed, so I’m gonna give it to you straight: I liked THE CROW (2024). Not just “it’s not as bad as they’re saying” – I honestly think it’s pretty good.
(read the rest of this shit…)

August 26th, 2024 | 43 Comments »

Corrina, Corrina

August 12, 1994

CORRINA, CORRINA is a nice comedy-drama that deals with grief, love and some heavy race and class issues in a very light, warm-hearted sort of way. Is that bad? We can talk about it later.

Manny Singer (Ray Liotta between NO ESCAPE and OPERATION DUMBO DROP) is a recently widowed jingle writer in suburban Los Angeles, 1959. His 9-year-old daughter Molly (Tina Majorino, also in the seal movie ANDRE this summer – sorry, I had to skip a few things) is so not-over-it she refuses to speak, but he’s gonna be screwed if he doesn’t return to work, so he looks for a housekeeper/nanny to stay home with her. After some misfires he ends up with Corrina Washington (Whoopi Goldberg, also in THE LION KING and [briefly] THE LITTLE RASCALS this summer), who seems cynical at first but of course forms an adorable bond with the kid.

In 1994 I wasn’t interested in things this cutesy, and never considered watching it. Now I’m a middle-aged cornball, so I found it moving to see Whoopi turn that little girl’s cartoonish pout into a giggle. Majorino has a pitch perfect deadpan for the non-speaking portions and then a timid little mouse voice when she does talk (spoiler). She breaks your heart when she lays in the grass with her dead mom’s dress laid out next to her, one hand in its pocket, or when Manny lies to a deliveryman that Mrs. Singer is in the bath tub and she lights up and runs to the bathroom to see her. Damn, Manny. What a fuck up. So then you’re primed for the opposite emotion when she notices her dad slipping and referring to Corrina as “your mother” and she doesn’t point it out but breaks into a huge, toothy grin. (read the rest of this shit…)

August 22nd, 2024 | 2 Comments »

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