“You know what? I’ve never actually seen a Terrence Malick movie,” I admitted, embarrassed.
“WHAT?!” my film buff buddy blurted out. “And you see every crappy movie that comes out!”
“That’s not true!” I defended. “I haven’t seen Pirates of the Caribbean 4 yet.”
(more…)
(SPOILER GENERAL’S WARNING: I wish I had gone in knowing less, so you probaly shouldn’t read this before seeing the movie. To be safe though I’ll try to be vague.)
You always kind of know what you’re gonna get with Tarantino, and yet, you never know what you’re gonna get with Tarantino. Every movie he’s made after PULP FICTION seems to throw people for a loop at first. Why isn’t JACKIE BROWN more like PULP FICTION? Why isn’t KILL BILL more serious, like JACKIE BROWN? Why is KILL BILL VOLUME 2 all this character and shit instead of all the killing like part 1? Why does he take so long to make his movies, what an asshole. Why did he make DEATH PROOF as a quickie just-for-fun movie, what an asshole. (more…)
It seemed like most of the world hated OCEAN’S 12. I always figured it was because it was too strange, but people say it was just too self-indulgent, they get mad watching all those guys having fun together and being cool. Which is weird because if that’s the case I’m not sure why they liked the first one. I mean what else are they supposed to do? Not have fun and wear cheap suits?
Anyway I felt lucky they were making a part 13, like they were doing it just for me and the elite few who still give a shit. But I was mistaken – actually they were making this for the other guys to make up for part 12. This is the same shit but dialed back a little, so they are having a little less fun and are not quite as cool because Matt Damon wears a fake nose in one part. It’s Steve Soderbergh’s most mainstream movie since ERIN BROCKOVICH, but not even as satisfying as that since it’s sequel number two and there’s no surprise factor at all. And you get a little sick of all their con man lingo and code words. For example, faking an earthquake is “an Irwin Allen.” I’m not sure what the name would be for making a fun but forgettable part 3, since most part 3s are widely hated except for Lord of the Rings or if it’s in 3-D. And they are in the problem of being a part 3 only I asked for (see the end of OCEAN’S 12 review above).
I guess the mainstream have forgiven them though, or are willing to give them a second chance at a sequel, because this theater was crowded. I don’t know if I’ve ever mentioned this before, but because of my negative past I live with a curse – I am doomed to always have the most annoying person in the theater sitting directly behind me. It doesn’t even matter if it’s an empty theater, this guy will walk in during the previews, scope the place out and decide that the perfect seat is directly behind me. In this case he was a middle aged dude with his adult son, a guy who doesn’t see very many movies. Throughout the movie he asked his son questions such as “What did he say?” and “I don’t get it” and “Who’s that guy?” and “I don’t get it – is he supposed to be gay?” But at the end he seemed happy with it. So congratulations people, you have your Oceans back. (more…)
It turns out we’re all connected.
The end.
Nah, just fuckin with you. So last year, 2006, some people said was the Year of the Mexican Director because of the so-called Three Amigos, named hopefully not after the Chevy Chase movie but after a half English, half Spanish phrase that literally translates as “Tres Friends”:
AMIGO #1, Alfonso Cuaron, broke through to the V.I.P. Director’s Lounge with CHILDREN OF MEN, which alot of us consider the best or one of the best movies of 2006.
AMIGO #2, Guillermo Del Toro, finally got some respect from the fancypants establishment critics and Oscar voters with arguably his best Blade-less movie to date, PAN’S LABYRINTH.
But it was #3, Alejandro González Iñárritu, who got his new one BABEL somehow nominated for best picture, with some people (comparing it to CRASH because of its multi-cultural ensemble cast, goofy coincidences and themes of different cultures interacting) thinking it’s gonna win. (more…)
OCEAN’S 12 is a sequel to OCEAN’S 11 (the 2001 version [not the movie 2001, I am referring to the year 2001, the year the movie OCEAN'S 11 was made {the remake, not the original, that is why I brought up this year thing originally}]) so this will be the sequel to my review of that movie.
It turns out that the eleven do NOT die horribly as I predicted. But their past (the other movie) does catch up with them, and the sequel is all about them doing various heists in order to pay back the money, plus interest, that they stole the first time around. So that means that Ocean’s 11 actually have a net loss across the two pictures. I mean, think about that. That’s terrible! What does that say about the current state of doing a job right? You want to do the impossible, so you bring in 11 of the greatest experts from around the world, you pull it off, you win back your ex-wife, and you have a fun time doing it. And your reward is horrendous debt and threat of life and limb. That’s how this world rewards you for ambition, talent and dedication.
That’s kind of a bummer in a caper movie where you expect each one to be a bigger and better heist. But it’s nice to be able to have another ending that’s not one of the standard caper movies endings (A: they get away with it and are last seen chilling on a beach somewhere; B: they almost get away but die tragically, probaly ironically.) At the very least this movie will probaly be a big inspiration to those of you with large credit card debts.
As you know from my original O11 review, I was already ready for a sequel. And I always pictured it as a tighter version of 011, maybe a little harder. As much as I enjoyed that movie it was no THE LIMEY or OUT OF SIGHT which are the movies that really told me this Steve Soderbergh was capable of a top notch crime picture. I thought they would follow the same basic formula of Part 11 but with the characters already introduced, they would be able to have a more detailed and realistic look at a heist, maybe some gritty everything-goes-sour type business, who knows. But with the same charismatic cast and bouncy sense of humor and funky David Holmes soundtrack. (more…)
When you get two Oscar nominations for best director in the same year (for Erin Brockovich and Traffic) and you’re at the commercial peak of your career, what do you do for a followup?
I think Steven Soderbergh has the right answer. Two Oscar nominations is nothing to commit suicide over. Sure it’s embarassing, but it’s not the end of the world. After all it was only one year earlier that his picture The Limey won Best Picture, Musical Comedy or Badass in the 1999 Outlaw Awards, and that magic could not be entirely faded. So Soderbergh packed up the political pretensions, left them out on the porch in a box marked for the retard center, and went and made a casino heist movie.
Storywise, Ocean’s 11 is pretty standard. Pretty much what you’d expect from an ensemble caper picture. You start out with A) the introduction of characters, also known as the Cavalcade of Robbery All-Stars. You know, you start out in one city where George Clooney gets out of prison, then you zip over to LA where 1999 Outlaw Award Winner Tyler Durden is busy teaching teen actors how to play cards. And zip zip zip as you whoosh around to the different cities to meet different colorful characters with their specialties (explosives, pickpocketing, circus, etc.) George Clooney is Daniel Ocean and then you need ten others to be the eleven, so you go and introduce those people.
At the conclusion of Section A you get Section B, the Brian De Palma’s Mission:Impossible maneuver, which is where you get a lot of diagrams and speeches about how impossible the security system is, how many lasers, how many high tech identification devices and what not, and you (the audience) get to enjoy waiting to find out how in fuck’s name they’re gonna get past all this. It’s all about anticipation and problem solving. (more…)
First of all thanks guys for making my first column a success, by reading it.
Also i’m sorry my sight has been offline I don’t know WHAT the fuck is wrong with geocities.
now every so often there is a movie that comes along that really hits a motherfucker right in the balls and says LOOK AT ME, MOTHERFUCKER – I AM A CLASSIC.
the motherfucker i’m talking about is of course fight club, the new movie by david fincher. david fincher for those of you who don’t know is a director of beer commercials from the ’80s. like beer commercials Fight club is a movie with assloads of style. unlike commercials, this is a movie about NOT buying products, or rather not buying into the idea that material objects are your life. the star is a guy by the name of “narrator” who is kind of a yuppie type dude working at a car company, wearing a tie, traveling around to take a look at burnt up cars.
by the way, don’t read this column if you haven’t seen fith club. id on’t want to ruin it for you. Just go to the bottom and order something from reel.com so a motherfucker can eat.
Now i don’t think i have to tell you this dude narrator is not happy, and that is why when his condo gets blown to shit, he decides to squat in the most fucked up house you ever saw. this is a piece of shit with no water, electricity, tv and falling apart. and narrator is happier than ever because when it comes down to it a nice condo is not worth a fucking penny compared to living life the way you want to.
actually iguess i don’t have to explain it because you guys have already seen it. sorry. So here is what I think. (more…)
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