More like CLEAR AND PRESZZZZzzzzzzz, am I right, guys?
Oh, am I wrong? Maybe I’m wrong. I’m not the best judge, because I’m a heathen when it comes to Jack Ryan. My dad loved Tom Clancy books, my wife and many of my friends consider THE HUNT FOR RED OCTOBER to be one of the all time greats, many people love this character, I just think that gene skipped me. But here we are most of the way through our revisit of the summer of ’94 and it feels like we’re low on traditional blockbusters, so I was kind of excited to see CLEAR AND PRESENT DANGER. There are plenty of things to like about it, especially when discussing it, but unfortunately I found it mostly dull to watch compared to PATRIOT GAMES, which I somewhat enjoyed and respectfully labelled “Adult Contemporary Action.”
This, too, is for the older folks that want some of the fantasy of Exceptional Men Who Get Shit Done but without the classless excess of flying kicks or other cool shit. It begins by massaging the Adult Contemporary Action erogenous zones, showing people in uniforms operating various types of machinery on a submarine and a US Coast Guard vessel. The inciting incident is the Coast Guard boarding a suspicious yacht in the Caribbean and discovering its American businessman owner has been murdered by Colombians. Jack Ryan (Harrison Ford between THE FUGITIVE and SABRINA) is a CIA analyst who looks into it and discovers the American got offed by a cartel because he was laundering money for them and tried to embezzle some. (read the rest of this shit…)
Hard to believe, but I’ve been watching these FAST & FURIOUS movies for more than 20 years now. The first two on video, the rest highly anticipated theatrical events. At first they were these goofy lowbrow trendsploitation movies I got a kick out of, but I had to defend their right to exist from the Ain’t It Cool talkbackers. With FAST FIVE they became a hugely popular action saga that even mainstream critics respected for a couple years. The series definitely peaked during that period, and I don’t expect them to ever get that perfect balance back, but they still have their own delightful brand of preposterous action excess mixed with macho grease monkey soap opera that brings me great joy, and there’s no other movie series past or present that offers anything quite like it. So they’re back to being this dumb thing I enjoy while my Twitter feed is full of posts much like the talkbacks from back in the aughts. Why do they still make these, who are these for, Vin Diesel has an ego. Same old shit as time marches on a quarter mile at a time.
FAST X (which we all seem to have agreed to pronounce the same way we pronounce JASON X) doesn’t have as much to live up to as F9 did two years ago. It’s not my return to theaters after Covid-19 vaccination, and it’s not the series’ best director Justin Lin finally returning to the fold. In fact, it’s his departure – somehow Diesel (allegedly) managed to be such a pain in the ass that Lin quit as director. They’d managed four full movies together, but only a week filming this one. (read the rest of this shit…)
I only paid attention to THE SOLDIER (1982) because I noticed it had a score by Tangerine Dream. (Turns out to be a good one, too, though hard to find as an album.) I should’ve checked it out anyway just because it’s written and directed by James Glickenhaus between THE EXTERMINATOR and THE PROTECTOR. It’s a little more normal and less sleazy than those – it’s a covert ops movie in the mold of THE KILLER ELITE or SWORD OF GIDEON or one of those – but I think I liked it even better.
Ken Wahl (THE DIRTY DOZEN: THE NEXT MISSION, THE GLADIATOR) plays the titular The Soldier. That’s his code name! Seems like there could be some misunderstandings there. He leads an elite counterterrorism unit that operates completely off the books and answers only to the head of the CIA (Ron Harper, BODY COUNT, PEARL HARBOR). And they’re introduced in a pretty funny way. In the first shot, a limo carrying an ambassador is driving through Philadelphia and an old lady – well, a woman wearing an old lady costume – crosses in front of her with a babycart. The driver doesn’t even slow down, just nails the woman and keeps going. A woman with a shopping bag, a construction worker and a businessman all see it happen and come running over, to find the lady dead. Inside the babycart is a doll and an uzi. (read the rest of this shit…)
DESPERADO is my favorite Robert Rodriguez movie. People will always say the scrappy, home-made, subtitled EL MARIACHI is better, and a strong argument could be made for FROM DUSK TILL DAWN, with its Tarantino script and movie-star-making performance by George Clooney. But to me DESPERADO is his purest expression, the full enthusiasm of a young, hungry Hollywood rookie high on spaghetti westerns, John Woo and what his new friend QT was up to, fired into a full-blooded action movie uniquely based in Mexican culture.
The Tarantino influence shows in the talky opening with Steve Buscemi as the Mariachi’s hype man/street team, loudly telling tall tales about him in a bar, and in the scene where Tarantino himself plays a criminal telling a long-winded joke about peeing. But otherwise this has an identity very different from the wave of ’90s crime films, one that’s more visual and musical. He uses lots of slo-mo and dissolve edits working in tandem with a driving Latin rock score by Los Lobos. This is just one example of how the fresh Hollywood hotshot used his newfound resources while insisting on doing it his way. Another is the casting of the leads. (read the rest of this shit…)
First of all, let’s take a moment to pause and reflect on the miracle of the THE FAST AND THE FURIOUS series. It started in 2000, a studio b-movie, a dumb subculture exploiter with hot up-and-coming stars, quite good for a Rob Cohen movie and with a star-making performance by Mr. Vin Diesel, but undeniably corny. I don’t think anybody could predict that 11 years later it would be Universal’s most valued franchise/trademark/anti-intellectualproperty or that a part 5 would be bigger and better than the previous ones. Especially when you consider that Diesel ditched out on part 2 and Paul Walker bailed before part 3 and that even the naming of the movies poses a challenge. You don’t see I KNOW WHAT YOU DID LAST SUMMER still coming out with new chapters but they keep doing FASTs and FURIOUSes even after running out of sensible combinations of those words. (read the rest of this shit…)
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Recent commentary and jibber-jabber
Hammer Time on Pulse (2001): “I take it back – the stunt I was thinking of came from this movie, Pulse (2001). Still, you gotta…” Oct 19, 12:05
Hammer Time on Pulse (2001): “Yay! Vern covered one of the greats! I don’t have much more to say beyond what you said and I…” Oct 19, 11:28
VERN on Lee Cronin’s The Mummy: “It’s really more of a hatred for the Fraser one than a love for the Cruise one. But Cruise’s is…” Oct 18, 21:55
KayKay on Lee Cronin’s The Mummy: ““the best modern mummy movie (the Tom Cruise one).” Sigh…Vern’s love for Cruise MUMMY which runs in parallel with his…” Oct 18, 18:08
Dustin on Psycho Killer: “Glad you liked it, Vern! Happy to be of service.” Oct 18, 17:43
Skani on Psycho Killer: “I’ve been within striking distance of buying an on sale digital copy of this from jeffbezos.net on a couple of…” Oct 18, 07:27
CJ Holden on Evil Dead Burn: “(Not sure why I accidentally keep calling the movie BURNS though)” Oct 18, 06:17
CJ Holden on Evil Dead Burn: “With BURN premiering on home video, I thought it was a good idea to rewatch the EVIL DEAD 2.0 series…” Oct 18, 06:07
Dreadguacamole on V/H/S/Mixtape: “I’ve always liked anthology films (the Amicus movies were on constant rotation in TV when I was a kid), and…” Oct 17, 10:36
Gavolt on Psycho Killer: “I always thought BRAINSCAN would be good fodder for a remake, as it some cool and still relevant ideas but…” Oct 17, 09:06
VERN on Ready or Not 2: Here I Come: “The third one is NOW YOU SEE ME: NOW YOU DON’T! They were just doing it in an unexpected order,…” Oct 17, 08:58
Skani on Ready or Not 2: Here I Come: “Good point. And I fully admit that my irritation is petty, irrational, and comical. But it’s reflexive and real, so,…” Oct 17, 08:02
Mr. Majestyk on Ready or Not 2: Here I Come: “They’re just picking up the slack from none of the NOW YOU SEE ME sequels being called NOW YOU DON’T.” Oct 17, 07:19
Skani on Ready or Not 2: Here I Come: “With all this talk in the other thread about the silliness of calling LEE CRONIN’S THE MUMMY that, I must…” Oct 17, 06:36
earwig on Teenage Sex and Death at Camp Miasma: “im one of those zoomer transsexuals you might have heard of and i predictably loved this movie.. not going to…” Oct 17, 04:21