YOUR MONSTER is a 2024 romantic comedy with a fantastical genre concept. Laura (Melissa Barrera, ABIGAIL) is a theater actor who gets dumped by her longtime boyfriend Jacob (Edmund Donovan, CIVIL WAR) while she’s in the hospital getting cancer treatments. She lived with him, so when she gets discharged she goes to stay at her wealthy but absent mother’s house to try to put herself back together. But she doesn’t really get around to that. She mostly eats pies that her mom sends and cries so much that she starts getting regular Kleenex shipments from Amazon.
Then one day she’s startled by a monster (Tommy Dewey, STEP UP REVOLUTION) in the closet. He’s not that fancy of a monster, just kinda like Ron Perlman’s Beast on Beauty and the Beast – gnarly brow, lion-like nose, long hair and beard, hairy hands. He is a monster, but he wears t-shirts and just talks like a dude. When she wakes up from fainting he’s kinda offended she doesn’t remember him. He reminds her she saw him under her bed when she was a kid. And he chased off some dork who tried to kiss her and tried to shame her for not wanting to. I think she remembers.
Anyway, he says the house is his now and she needs to get the fuck out. She cries for a while, so he gives her two weeks. (read the rest of this shit…)

THE SECRET AGENT (O Agente Secreto) is the last 2025 best picture nominee I hadn’t seen, but I was gonna see it anyway. By coincidence I had just caught up with writer/director Kleber Mendonça Filho’s 2019 film
I don’t identify as an anime fan. Not because I’d be ashamed to, but because I don’t want to steal that valor. Real anime fans contain volumes of cultural knowledge that I lack. I don’t think I’m a tourist, but maybe a vacationer. At most a dabbler, a casual partaker, an occasional appreciator. But I love the artform of animation, so some of that stuff hits the spot.
The idea of a horror movie called RUMPELSTILTSKIN seemed funny enough to me in the 1990s that I got a poster for it in the free bin at the video store (“1996 THEATRICAL RELEASE!” it exclaimed) and hung it on my wall, but not enough that it ever occurred to me to actually watch it. Then a couple years ago the eccentrically curated label Terror Vision put out a fancy 4K/blu-ray special edition, and I thought, “Could it actually be good?”
40 ACRES is a 2024 post-apocalyptic movie, set 12 years after a fungal infection killed all the animals, causing civilization to collapse. It centers on Hailey Freeman (Danielle Deadwyler, 


BLOODY NOSE, EMPTY POCKETS (2020) is an incredible slice of life movie. It’s not a documentary but it sure feels like it is (you even see the camera operators a couple times). It’s kind of like a more verite take on another indie drama I love,
I enjoyed the extra strength absurdity of
Last year there was a well-reviewed Valentine’s Day slasher movie playing in theaters. Normally I’d be all over that shit, but I boycotted for political reasons. You see, the production company behind it, Spyglass Media Group, were the assholes who fired the star of SCREAMs
QUEENS OF THE DEAD is a 2025 zombie comedy written and directed by Tina Romero. Yes, that Tina Romero. The one who was in 

















