Archive for the ‘Reviews’ Category
Thursday, June 22nd, 2023
June 24, 1983
Later than 1983, but not that much later, I watched MONTY PYTHON AND THE HOLY GRAIL over at my friend Jerrod’s house, and it was the funniest thing I ever saw. You know – they make this clip-clop sound with coconut shells instead of riding horses, and the guy sings “and his penis—“, and there’s fake credits in the middle, and there’s a killer bunny. It’s a really funny movie, and I was a young boy at the time, so it was a mindblowingly funny movie. At some point later I saw MONTY PYTHON AND THE LIFE OF BRIAN and I liked that one even better. As a teenager I tried watching the show for a bit, and I think I liked some of it, but it didn’t stick. It was those two movies for me, and I’m okay leaving it at that, and otherwise only following Terry Gilliam’s career. So add “the various Monty Python guys” to the list of “things that were huge in 1983 that were just a little bit before my time.”
YELLOWBEARD is a pirate comedy starring Python’s Graham Chapman, who’s a wild man in this one instead of the straight man like in those other ones. The movie opens on a Spanish galleon, with Cheech & Chong playing (in reverse order) the Inquisitor Nebulosa and his primary stooge (credited as El Segundo). Nebuloso plays with gold coins chanting “I am the richest man in the world!,” and then tells his underling to bang his head against the floor as punishment for questioning his right to keep the treasure for himself as “god’s representative.” He does it willingly, saying “Muchas gracias!” (read the rest of this shit…)
Tags: Bernard McKenna, Cheech Marin, David Bowie, Eric Idle, Graham Chapman, John Cleese, Madeline Kahn, Martin Hewitt, Marty Feldman, Mel Damski, Peter Boyle, Peter Bull, Peter Cook, pirates, Spike Milligan, Stacey Nelkin, Tommy Chong
Posted in Reviews, Comedy/Laffs | 20 Comments »
Wednesday, June 21st, 2023
When Barry Allen (Ezra Miller, WE NEED TO TALK ABOUT KEVIN), a.k.a. The Flash, discovers that he can run so fast he travels through time, the first thing he does is what we all wish we could do: go tell Bruce Wayne (Ben Affleck, SMOKIN’ ACES) about it. And his cool rich friend gives him wise, succinct advice: if it’s possible for you to change the past, such as by stopping the murder of your mother (Maribel Verdú, TETRO), it would be very dangerous, and besides, our scars make us who we are. Look at me, for example – I’m fuckin Batman!
But as Barry prepares one more desperate appeal for his father (Ron Livingston, KING OF THE ANTS), who was blamed for his mother’s death, it occurs to him that if he traveled back in time he wouldn’t have to intervene during the murder. He’d just have to make sure his mom had tomato sauce so his dad wouldn’t leave for the store, causing a burglar to believe no one was home. A loophole. One weird trick to save the Allen family. Of course, his changes cause reverberations (with the unusual twist that since time isn’t linear it doesn’t just branch off, it changes in all directions), and he spends the movie running around very fast trying to clean up his mess. (read the rest of this shit…)
Tags: Andy Muschietti, Ben Affleck, Christina Hodson, DC Comics, Ezra Miller, Gal Gadot, Jeremy Irons, Joby Harold, John Francis Daley, Jonathan Goldstein, Kiersey Clemons, Maribel Verdu, Michael Keaton, Michael Shannon, multiverse, Ron Livingston, Sasha Calle, time travel
Posted in Reviews, Comic strips/Super heroes | 64 Comments »
Tuesday, June 20th, 2023
After watching BLACK ADAM I figured I might as well complete my DC movie checklist before seeing THE FLASH, by crossing off SHAZAM! FURY OF THE GODS. Not that I was against seeing it otherwise. I wouldn’t say I loved 2019’s SHAZAM!, but I was pleasantly surprised – as I said in my review, I thought it was a decent kids movie with some laughs, some monsters, and some sweetness.
Of course, I also said “I don’t really care if there’s another one or not” except that I was excited by the introduction of a talking caterpillar villain at the end. If I had remembered that I might’ve been disappointed that this sequel is not about the talking caterpillar, but also maybe I would’ve thought it was a funnier joke when he appears briefly to say he’s not quite ready to enact his evil plot yet. It is a funny followup to the previous teaser, even moreso now that it seems unlikely to ever be followed up on. (read the rest of this shit…)
Tags: Adam Brody, Asher Angel, Chris Morgan, Cooper Andrews, David F. Sandberg, DC Comics, DJ Cotrona, Djimon Hounsou, Faithe Herman, Gal Gadot, Grace Caroline Currey, Helen Mirren, Henry Gayden, Ian Chen, Jack Dylan Grazer, Jovan Armand, Lucy Liu, Marta Milans, Meagan Good, Rachel Zegler, Ross Butler, Zachary Levi
Posted in Reviews, Comic strips/Super heroes | 20 Comments »
Monday, June 19th, 2023
Call it super hero fatigue, call it The Rock mistrust, call it what you want, but for some reason I, a guy who has seen most comic book movies, including ones everybody says are terrible, did not bother with BLACK ADAM. Until now. I don’t know, I was trying to figure out something to watch, I knew I’d be seeing that THE FLASH movie soon, and I kinda wanted to catch up beforehand, just for the sake of completism, I guess. So I put it on.
There was a point early on when I honestly wondered, “Am I gonna be the guy who likes this movie?,” ’cause the set up kinda had me going. But it pretty quickly shifted to that feeling you get at the climax of a big wannabe blockbuster you’re not into. A bunch of loud noises and bullshit. Oh well. I will have some nice things to say about it. (read the rest of this shit…)
Tags: Adam Sztykiel, Aldis Hodge, Bodhi Sabongui, DC Comics, Jaume Collet-Serra, Lorne Balfe, Marwan Kenzari, Noah Centineo, Pierce Brosnan, Quintessa Swindell, Rory Haines, Sarah Shahi, Sohrab Noshirvani, The Rock, Viola Davis
Posted in Reviews, Comic strips/Super heroes | 24 Comments »
Thursday, June 15th, 2023
On May 5th, 1983, future Superman actor Henry Cavill was born in St. Helier, Jersey. While he was in his crib, on June 17, 1983, the definitive cinematic Superman met Richard Pryor.
Boy, I hope I’m not trying people’s patience too much with this series. I believe 1985 is the earliest retrospective I’ve done previously, and I thought that went well, but what I’ve really realized looking at 1983 is how many of these movies feel just a little bit before my time. I remember being alive then, but I was only aware of a little kid-sized slice of pop culture. I was hearing all about Salacious Crum, but not BLUE THUNDER or anything starring Burt Reynolds. My friends born a few or several years before me, people who are older than Generation Ewok, have attachments to some of these movies, characters and actors that I just don’t.
So I hope it’s not getting annoying. Even if you forgive me for not caring about James Bond or TRADING PLACES, the camel’s back could break when I confess that I don’t really care that much about the Christopher Reeve Superman movies either. I’m so sorry! Let me explain. (read the rest of this shit…)
Tags: Annette O'Toole, Annie Ross, Christopher Reeve, David Newman, DC Comics, Giorgio Moroder, Leslie Newman, Margot Kidder, Pamela Stephenson, Richard Lester, Richard Pryor, Robert Vaughn
Posted in Reviews, Comedy/Laffs, Comic strips/Super heroes | 50 Comments »
Wednesday, June 14th, 2023
TRANSFORMERS: RISE OF THE BEASTS is the new Transformers picture directed by Steven Caple Jr. (THE LAND, CREED II). It’s not a reboot, but a new chapter set in 1994 – after Travis Knight’s BUMBLEBEE, before all the Michael Bay ones. So technically it’s a prequel, but there’s not much important continuity (as there really isn’t in any of these movies).
Aside from a new director and attitude, the flashy new attraction is the Maximals – robotic animal characters from the 1996 computer animated show Beast Wars. You know how it is, you’re on Cybertron just minding your own business being a mechanical rhino or cheetah made out of metal but with fur on some parts, suddenly you gotta flee to an organic jungle world to hide the portal-opening Transwarp Key from the the giant planet-munching robot Unicron. That character was famously voiced by Orson Welles in THE TRANSFORMERS: THE MOVIE, and here he’s Colman Domingo (ZOLA), a great choice of voice to process even lower and blast through Imax speakers so loud you can feel it vibrating your bones. (read the rest of this shit…)
Tags: Anthony Ramos, based on a fucking toy, Colman Domingo, Darnell Metayer, David Sobolov, Dean Scott Vazquez, Dominique Fishback, Erich Hoeber, Hasbro, Joby Harold, Jon Hoeber, Josh Peters, Luna Lauren Velez, Michelle Yeoh, Pete Davidson, Peter Cullen, Peter Dinklage, Ron Perlman, Sarah Stiles, Steven Caple Jr., Tobe Nwigwe, Tongayi Chirisa
Posted in Reviews, Action, Science Fiction and Space Shit | 15 Comments »
Tuesday, June 13th, 2023
RENFIELD is a so-so movie with one element of excellence that kinda goes without saying, but I will say it. Later in the review.
This is basically a comedy-action vehicle for Dracula’s crazy bug-eating stooge Renfield, played here by Nicholas Hoult (CLASH OF THE TITANS). I guess you could say it follows in the tradition of the much dorkier VICTOR FRANKENSTEIN, and (sort of) I, FRANKENSTEIN, in that it’s riffing off of classic horror characters and putting them in a modern action/super hero type of context. But it’s different in that it’s a straight up comedy, complete with jokey first person narration and the hook “what if Dracula’s familiar started going to group therapy for co-dependency?” I guess you could say it’s kind of a ZOMBIELAND tone. I generally prefer ABRAHAM LINCOLN: VAMPIRE HUNTER approach of using an absurd concept but committing to it as if it’s serious and trusting the audience to get it, but this is not my movie. It’s not up to me. (read the rest of this shit…)
Tags: Awkwafina, Ben Schwartz, Caroline Williams, Chris McKay, Dracula, Nicholas Hoult, Nicolas Cage, Robert Kirkman, Ryan Ridley, Shoreh Aghdashloo, vampires
Posted in Reviews, Action, Comedy/Laffs, Horror | 22 Comments »
Monday, June 12th, 2023
June 10, 1983
As I’ve demonstrated a few times in the past, I’m not a Bond guy. So believe it or not OCTOPUSSY is a first time viewing for me. I come to it with incomplete context, zero nostalgia, but also no preconceived notions of what a Bond movie or actor needs to be like. I can view it casually as-is and report that it’s pleasingly silly and mildly amusing.
Some of its qualities that some would consider shortcomings barely need to be stated. Roger Moore (THE CANNONBALL RUN) as James Bond is a horndog who hits on and beds multiple women 15-20 years his junior, and without having to put in any effort, since every woman is charmed on sight, no matter which side they’re on. And he makes several intentionally bad jokes. He also gets himself out of ridiculous situations with far-fetched plans, abilities and gadgets. It’s all part of the deal, and the last part is what I most look for. (read the rest of this shit…)
Tags: 007, John Glen, Roger Moore
Posted in Reviews, Action | 31 Comments »
Thursday, June 8th, 2023
June 8, 1983
To many, TRADING PLACES is a beloved comedy classic. To me it’s a movie that Mrs. Vern references often and that we occasionally flip past on TNT. I think the only time I saw it all the way through I was still in elementary school. So I came to this viewing pretty fresh.
I know it goes back to The Prince and the Pauper or some shit, but Hollywood particularly loved this kind of comedy concept in the ’80s through ’90s: What if a non-rich guy could live among the rich? And what if a rich guy could live among the non-rich? What laughs would we have? What lessons would we learn? Don’t you agree it would be valuable? This one’s writers, Timothy Harris & Herschel Weingrod, later gave us BREWSTER’S MILLIONS, and you could also count THE TOY, LIFE STINKS, KING RALPH, and I’m sure some others. This is John Landis’s version, and he kicks it off with some satirical bite, but it eventually eases up and acts like we’re supposed to like the rich guy, assumes we want to see him have a happy ending. As was the style in those days. (read the rest of this shit…)
Tags: Christmas, Dan Aykroyd, Denholm Elliott, Don Ameche, Eddie Murphy, Giancarlo Esposito, Herschel Weingrod, Jamie Lee Curtis, Jim Belushi, John Landis, Paul Gleason, Ralph Bellamy, Timothy Harris
Posted in Reviews, Comedy/Laffs | 25 Comments »
Wednesday, June 7th, 2023
SPIDER-MAN: ACROSS THE SPIDER-VERSE is the first sequel to SPIDER-MAN: INTO THE SPIDER-VERSE, the brilliant 2018 movie I still believe is a watershed moment for computer animated features* as well as super hero cinema. I’m happy to say that ACROSS is a worthy sequel that finds a smart way to build on the first film’s clever multiverse premise and push its revolutionary visual style into the stratosphere. Miles gives me the same “it’s weird to see him taller” feeling as real kids I’ve seen grow up, and the series’ already astonishing artistry has also experienced a growth spurt. Honestly the gimmicks and the eye candy would be enough to make this a classic, but they’re not the only reason these movies have become a phenomenon. They’ve also given us characters to really care about as they live their lives in that perfect Spider-Man intersection between regular every day problems and universe-shattering super shit.
This one works particularly well on the level of a teen movie. You may remember that our main characters Miles Morales/Spider-Man (Shameik Moore, Raekwon on Wu-Tang: An American Saga), and Gwen Stacy/Spider-Woman (Hailee Steinfeld, 3 DAYS TO KILL) exist in different realities. As in, different dimensions, timelines, worlds, whatever. They met when a super-collider brought Gwen and people from various other realities into Miles’s, but now they’re apart, trying to get through life as their reality’s Spider-Person. (read the rest of this shit…)
Tags: Brian Tyree Henry, Chris Miller, Dave Callaham, Greta Lee, Hailee Steinfeld, In Association with Marvel Comics, Issa Rae, Jack Quaid, Jake Johnson, Joaquim Dos Santos, Justin K. Thompson, Karan Soni, Kemp Powers, Luna Lauren Velez, Oscar Isaac, Peggy Lu, Phil Lord, Shameik Moore, Shea Whigham
Posted in Reviews, Cartoons and Shit, Comic strips/Super heroes | 41 Comments »
