Recently, events converged to remind me there was a (sort of) remake of John Carpenter’s ASSAULT ON PRECINCT 13 back in 2005. Well, really what happened was that movie PLANE came out – the Gerard Butler one with the plane – and that’s from the same director, Jean-François Richet. He did a couple gritty French crime movies in the ‘90s and then his phone rang and Hollywood said, “Hello, this is Hollywood, would you be interested in remaking ASSAULT ON PRECINCT 13, or as you call it in France, ASSAUT?” I imagine he very thoughtfully said “Oui” and then hung up.
According to his commentary track they didn’t have the script yet when they hired him. He chose James DeMonaco to write it because he’d just seen THE NEGOTIATOR, a movie this does seem kinda similar to. DeMonaco had also written a film for Francis Ford Coppola*. (read the rest of this shit…)
THE NEGOTIATOR is a monument to that too-brief window of time when there were big budget Samuel L. Jackson vehicles. He’d been acclaimed in supporting roles including JUNGLE FEVER, then said that line in JURASSIC PARK, then became a superstar with PULP FICTION. I always thought it was unfair that Travolta was nominated for best actor and Jackson for supporting, but that’s mostly where he stayed. He was still kind of a sidekick in DIE HARD WITH A VENGEANCE or THE LONG KISS GOODNIGHT or a scene-stealer in JACKIE BROWN. And technically even this one is a two-hander with another star, but it starts on Jackson and keeps the two separated for most of the movie so I’d put it in a rare Samuel-L.-Jackson-vehicle category along with SHAFT, THE 51st STATE and SNAKES ON A PLANE.
Also going on in the late ’90s: Kevin Spacey. Like Jackson, he was a veteran character actor who suddenly caught the world’s eye with an indelible performance in a breakout indie crime drama. And he actually won his Oscar. After SE7EN and L.A. CONFIDENTIAL he was one of the most respected dramatic actors in Hollywood.
So THE NEGOTIATOR had a pretty catchy thriller hook (hostage negotiator gets framed by crooked cops, takes hostages in a desperate ploy to find out the truth and prove his innocence), but it was definitely that heavyweight actor showdown that lured us in. Two enormously respected actors, also known for hip movies, actoring the shit off each other in a studio thriller. That had appeal back then. (read the rest of this shit…)
MIGHTY MORPHIN POWER RANGERS: THE MOVIE is easily the crappiest movie in my Summer of ’95 retrospective so far. Maybe less offensive than BATMAN FOREVER, since it doesn’t seem to be made by professionals who should know any better, but it’s really something. I know it’s an extension of a cheesy kids TV show made up partly of stock footage from Japanese shows, but it’s amazing that a soundtrack album and a little bad CGI was enough to get this into theaters alongside real movies. APOLLO 13 and
JUDGE DREDD came out the same day. Watching it 20 years later POWER RANGERS does not seem like it belongs in the company of either, and the dark, low quality transfer on the DVD isn’t helping things. It didn’t get completely killed at the box office, though. That weekend it came in below APOLLO 13, POCAHONTAS and BATMAN FOREVER, but above JUDGE DREDD.
Like APOLLO 13 this is the story of an elite team of squares chosen to put on uniforms and helmets and fly into space. The Power Rangers are five teenagers chosen by a giant face in a glass tube named Zordon (Nicholas Bell, DARK CITY) to “transform into a superhuman fighting force” and defend the Australian-looking city of Angel Grove, California. That means morphing into masked and color-coded martial arts super heroes and piloting robotic dinosaurs called Zords that combine into a bigger, humanoid robot called Megazord to fight giant monsters. In their spare time the Power Rangers like to skydive, rollerblade and act as role models to local children who don’t know they’re the Power Rangers because it’s a secret identity, although that is never relevant to the story. As far as we see, none of them have parents, schools, jobs, homes or alone time. (read the rest of this shit…)
WAYS YOU CAN SUPPORT THE SHIT OUT OF VERN & OUTLAWVERN.COM
if that's your thing:
1. Patreon
Toss me a couple bucks a month, support the good shit, also get access to a bunch of exclusive writing. This is my primary source of writing money that has allowed me to cut down to part time at the day job. Thank you!
2. Buy my books from your local bookseller or somebody
(NOTE: My ten year contract has passed on the Titan books, so I don't get residuals on them like I do WORM ON A HOOK and NIKETOWN, but I would love for you to read them because I'm proud of them)
EXTRA CREDIT: Review them on Amazon! That would really help me out. Unless you didn't like them, in which case forget I said anything.
3. If you ever buy from Amazon, go through my links or search engines
(you pay the same amount you were gonna pay anyway they cut me a little slice)
I also have an Amazon UK one:
(I can't get the search box widget to work anymore, so click on MOONWALKER and then search for what you want.)
4. My exciting line of fashion and leisure products
(I get a couple bucks per item, you get a cool t-shirt, mug or lifestyle item)
5. Spread the word
Tell your friends about my reviews and my books and everything. Only cool people though please, we don't need a bunch of suckers and/or chumps around here.
THANKS EVERYBODY. YOUR FRIEND, VERN
* * * *
Recent commentary and jibber-jabber
Franchise Fred on Silent Night (2023): “Holy shit I did not get the Palomas reference. So this isn’t the first Woo movie with no doves after…” Dec 5, 13:51
Mr. Majestyk on Silent Night (2023): “Well, that’s a bummer. I was planning to make a special trip into a neighboring city to see this next…” Dec 5, 13:19
Charles on Silent Night (2023): “Interesting, I have heard this one being compared to BULLET IN THE HEAD which I think is one of Woo’s…” Dec 5, 12:33
Mr. Majestyk on The Unbearable Weight of Massive Talent: “People, I come to you with a grave warning: Do not see DREAM SCENARIO. I don’t think I’ve ever seen…” Dec 5, 11:08
MaggieMayPie on Silent Night (2023): “I really wanted to love this one and I was left with “it’s okay”. As soon as it became clear…” Dec 5, 09:39
VERN on Godzilla vs. Kong: “I loved it too! I’ll have a review ready soon.” Dec 5, 06:59
pegsman on Godzilla vs. Kong: “I saw GODZILLA MINUS ONE last night, and I’m here to tell you that it’s the Godzilla movie everything must…” Dec 5, 02:21
Matthew B. on Haunted Samurai (1970): “The original manga is Doninki (土忍記, “Earth Ninja Chronicles”). Searching for those kanji along with Kojima’s name in Japanese (小島剛夕)…” Dec 4, 07:51
Pino on The Killer (2023): “My take on why he doesn’t kill the billionaire is that this guy is a newbie. And when in a…” Dec 4, 04:38
Mr. Majestyk on Godzilla vs. Kong: “It’s a little dour in the beginning and a lot corny at the end, but it’s well made and delivers…” Dec 3, 06:21
CJ Holden on Godzilla vs. Kong: “So it’s a big, dry snoozefest with a miscast lead, that tries to jump on the bandwagon of more popular…” Dec 3, 05:54
Pacman2.0 on Hack!: “I did remember that there were developments in the Stanley story, but didn’t remember what it was. Looking into it,…” Dec 3, 05:28
Pacman2.0 on Grindhouse (16 years later revisit): “GRINDHOUSE in its entirety did play in the UK, but it was a limited release about a year after it…” Dec 3, 04:19
Curt on Grindhouse (16 years later revisit): “Muh: “cut the boring shit with the new batch of women…we don’t need to see them debate if they’re going…” Dec 2, 22:14
VERN’S “I RECOMMEND THE SHIT OUT OF THIS PRODUCT” CORNER: