A little over 20 years ago, in a whole different cinematic era, they made a movie of the Marvel Comics super hero Daredevil. It was a strange, in-between period for comic book movies – they were neither the exciting novelty they’d been in the BATMAN-inspired ‘90s or the dominant cultural force they would soon become with the MCU. BLADE, X-MEN, BLADE II and SPIDER-MAN had come out, so Marvel finally had a track record of successful movie adaptations. But none of these took place in the same world, and there was even a famous outtake from X-MEN where a guy in a Spider-Man costume ran into a scene as a prank, and it seemed hilarious at the time.
DAREDEVIL was a test of what The Ain’t It Cool News and other self-declared “geek” voices on the internet had been preaching. In fact, Harry Knowles wrote a rave review of the script more than a year before filming started. It’s meant to be a dark, gritty and faithful adaptation of a character beloved by comics fans, but not very well known to civilians. Sure enough it was a hit, though only enough to get a spin-off and not multiple sequels like Blade, the X-Men and Spider-Man got. (read the rest of this shit…)
“There was some criticism that I made NASA look dumb in certain places. In fact if you heard some of these asteroid theories of what they are thinking of doing, it just sounds asinine.” –Michael Bay
ARMAGEDDON is Michael Bay’s third movie, but in some sense it’s the one where he revealed his true face to the world. There were plenty of examples of his style and character in BAD BOYS and THE ROCK, but it was ARMAGEDDON that first presented the full breadth of his trademarks: awesome awesome macho bros, pretty pretty sunsets, government employees portrayed as insufferable weiners even though they’re in the right, spinning cameras, haphazard editing all over the fucking place, chaotic mish-mashes of explosions and sparks and machinery and debris and smoke and crap, beautiful shots of people in various locations around the world, weirdly hateful characters presented as cutesy comic relief, an army of highly qualified writers seemingly locked in a cage and forced to duct tape a bunch of dumb ideas into the most unwieldy structure they can come up with that has a running time at least 30 minutes longer than the story has earned, and of course an ensemble of talented actors improvising jokes with no regard for any sort of desired rhythm or tone of storytelling. (read the rest of this shit…)
THE ISLAND I guess was Michael Bay’s big failure. He held his head high during his public shaming as the asshole who directed PEARL HARBOR, but this time he hit the type of bump that means more to him: he made a movie that didn’t make very much money. In the U.S. I guess it only made $36 million, which would be enough for his monthly Lamborghini allowance but doesn’t even cover a third of the shooting budget. For comparison, PEARL HARBOR made $75 million on its opening weekend.
Of course I’m coming to it eight years and three TRANSFORMERSes later having heard of its growing reputation as Michael Bay’s Not As Bad Movie. So when I was looking for a dumb summer blockbuster to get me in a summer movie mood it leapt off the video store shelf into my cold, reluctant embrace. (read the rest of this shit…)
Well, so far this summer of 2001 we’ve been having hasn’t been too hot. But at least we got that new Tim Burton movie coming out, right? I don’t know why they gotta remake PLANET OF THE APES but it’s a great cast and that guy knows what he’s doing, I’m sure he’ll do something interesting with it.
Nope. 10 years later I’m not sure I need to explain why the PLANET OF THE APES remake is no good. I don’t remember there being an argument about it at the time, or ever encountering anybody that liked it in the decade since. It was a bad idea, it was not good, let’s all pretend it never happened. The end.
If I had to choose the better STREET FIGHTER I guess I’d have to go with the newer one, STREET FIGHTER: THE LEGEND OF CHUN LI. It’s a slick, competently made preboot with TV actress Kristin Kreuk as the young Chun Li. There seems to be more martial arts in the first 8 minutes (when Chun Li is still a kid) than in the entire STREET FIGHTER: THE MOVIE even if you watched it two times in a row. Could’ve done without Chun Li’s constant voiceover narration through the first half, though. (read the rest of this shit…)
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Recent commentary and jibber-jabber
Dreadguacamole on The Vourdalak: “Woah, this sounds great! Hopefully it will make it to Shudder UK soon. There’s a 2020 movie from Argentina based…” Mar 6, 14:56
Peter Campbell on The Vourdalak: “This film is wonderful. I got it last year on Itunes and really enjoyed it. The Mario Bava version of…” Mar 6, 14:36
jojo on The Vourdalak: “Ha! The library near me is already too defunded for Kanopy… If all this sounds sort/kinda familiar it’s because Bava…” Mar 6, 13:46
Glaive Robber on The Vourdalak: “Great review, I really wanted to see this. For those of you who are wondering, I’m pretty sure this is…” Mar 6, 12:48
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CJ Holden on Thunderbirds: “Of course I have seen them. They were produced by German TV icon Alfred Biolek, who became a fan of…” Mar 6, 07:29
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Dreadguacamole on The Order (2024): “Really want to see this. I’ll watch anything with Tye Sheridan; As long as it’s not a blockbuster, the guy…” Mar 6, 04:57
Curt on Thunderbirds: ““Don’t mention the war” is certainly the most famous FAWLTY TOWERS quote, and “You’ll have to forgive him, he’s from…” Mar 6, 04:32
jojo on The Order (2024): “I have yet to see this, but the reviews were driving me batty as waaaaay too many of them seemed…” Mar 6, 04:17
daniel on Thunderbirds: “I thought something similar at first, but I’m not 100% sure. Maybe ‘ALLO ‘ALLO should be ELO, they’re more goofy…” Mar 6, 03:12
pegsman on Thunderbirds: “That’s definitely ‘ALLO, ‘ALLO. Marillion with Fish, Marillion without Fish or just Fish – it’s just the same joke over…” Mar 6, 02:11
daniel on Thunderbirds: “OK, interesting, interesting. So you’re saying FAWLTY TOWERS has a kinda cool, underrated guitar tone, while MONTY PYTHON have a…” Mar 6, 01:27
daniel on Parasite (1982) / Bad Times at the El Royale: “Yeah, I mean, Demi Moore erotic anything… How bad can it be, right? I still haven’t seen ANORA, but Mikey…” Mar 6, 01:24
CJ Holden on Thunderbirds: “At least for my part of the world I would reverse the roles in that analogy. MONTY PYTHON is Queen,…” Mar 6, 00:26
A little over 20 years ago, in a whole different cinematic era, they made a movie of the Marvel Comics super hero Daredevil. It was a strange, in-between period for comic book movies – they were neither the exciting novelty they’d been in the BATMAN-inspired ‘90s or the dominant cultural force they would soon become with the MCU. BLADE, X-MEN, BLADE II and SPIDER-MAN had come out, so Marvel finally had a track record of successful movie adaptations. But none of these took place in the same world, and there was even a famous outtake from X-MEN where a guy in a Spider-Man costume ran into a scene as a prank, and it seemed hilarious at the time.
July 1, 1998
ARMAGEDDON is Michael Bay’s third movie, but in some sense it’s the one where he revealed his true face to the world. There were plenty of examples of his style and character in BAD BOYS and 
THE ISLAND I guess was Michael Bay’s big failure. He held his head high during his public shaming as the asshole who directed PEARL HARBOR, but this time he hit the type of bump that means more to him: he made a movie that didn’t make very much money. In the U.S. I guess it only made $36 million, which would be enough for his monthly Lamborghini allowance but doesn’t even cover a third of the shooting budget. For comparison, PEARL HARBOR made $75 million on its opening weekend.
released July 27, 2001
If I had to choose the better STREET FIGHTER I guess I’d have to go with the newer one, STREET FIGHTER: THE LEGEND OF CHUN LI. It’s a slick, competently made preboot with TV actress Kristin Kreuk as the young Chun Li. There seems to be more martial arts in the first 8 minutes (when Chun Li is still a kid) than in the entire STREET FIGHTER: THE MOVIE even if you watched it two times in a row. Could’ve done without Chun Li’s constant voiceover narration through the first half, though. 
