“There was some criticism that I made NASA look dumb in certain places. In fact if you heard some of these asteroid theories of what they are thinking of doing, it just sounds asinine.” –Michael Bay
ARMAGEDDON is Michael Bay’s third movie, but in some sense it’s the one where he revealed his true face to the world. There were plenty of examples of his style and character in BAD BOYS and THE ROCK, but it was ARMAGEDDON that first presented the full breadth of his trademarks: awesome awesome macho bros, pretty pretty sunsets, government employees portrayed as insufferable weiners even though they’re in the right, spinning cameras, haphazard editing all over the fucking place, chaotic mish-mashes of explosions and sparks and machinery and debris and smoke and crap, beautiful shots of people in various locations around the world, weirdly hateful characters presented as cutesy comic relief, an army of highly qualified writers seemingly locked in a cage and forced to duct tape a bunch of dumb ideas into the most unwieldy structure they can come up with that has a running time at least 30 minutes longer than the story has earned, and of course an ensemble of talented actors improvising jokes with no regard for any sort of desired rhythm or tone of storytelling. (read the rest of this shit…)
THE ISLAND I guess was Michael Bay’s big failure. He held his head high during his public shaming as the asshole who directed PEARL HARBOR, but this time he hit the type of bump that means more to him: he made a movie that didn’t make very much money. In the U.S. I guess it only made $36 million, which would be enough for his monthly Lamborghini allowance but doesn’t even cover a third of the shooting budget. For comparison, PEARL HARBOR made $75 million on its opening weekend.
Of course I’m coming to it eight years and three TRANSFORMERSes later having heard of its growing reputation as Michael Bay’s Not As Bad Movie. So when I was looking for a dumb summer blockbuster to get me in a summer movie mood it leapt off the video store shelf into my cold, reluctant embrace. (read the rest of this shit…)
Well, so far this summer of 2001 we’ve been having hasn’t been too hot. But at least we got that new Tim Burton movie coming out, right? I don’t know why they gotta remake PLANET OF THE APES but it’s a great cast and that guy knows what he’s doing, I’m sure he’ll do something interesting with it.
Nope. 10 years later I’m not sure I need to explain why the PLANET OF THE APES remake is no good. I don’t remember there being an argument about it at the time, or ever encountering anybody that liked it in the decade since. It was a bad idea, it was not good, let’s all pretend it never happened. The end.
If I had to choose the better STREET FIGHTER I guess I’d have to go with the newer one, STREET FIGHTER: THE LEGEND OF CHUN LI. It’s a slick, competently made preboot with TV actress Kristin Kreuk as the young Chun Li. There seems to be more martial arts in the first 8 minutes (when Chun Li is still a kid) than in the entire STREET FIGHTER: THE MOVIE even if you watched it two times in a row. Could’ve done without Chun Li’s constant voiceover narration through the first half, though. (read the rest of this shit…)
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Recent commentary and jibber-jabber
JeffG on The Banshees of Inisherin: “This movie definitely made my list of “Films that Make Me Want to Drink 20 beers Tonight”.” Feb 7, 05:55
Kaplan on Justified is still good: “CJ Holden – *puts on pocket protector* I think the arc-based storytelling complaint was more of a Voyager thing, because…” Feb 7, 05:16
Jam on The Banshees of Inisherin: “(Maybe “uneasy” isn’t the right word. “Unsure” might be more on the mark.)” Feb 7, 00:43
Jam on The Banshees of Inisherin: “The Civil War reference feels very clumsy and the language (“Therapy” is not a term that would have been uttered,…” Feb 7, 00:38
pegsman on Justified is still good: “In my book, when it comes to Boyd Crowder you never want him to stop talking. Like Negan on WALKING…” Feb 6, 22:05
CJ Holden on Justified is still good: “Yeah, STRANGE NEW WORLDS is a lot of fun, although it amuses me how 20 years ago when ENTERPRISE came…” Feb 6, 20:44
Muh on The Banshees of Inisherin: “Looks like it is an original…he stole the title but noting else. [visual-parse url=”https://deadline.com/2022/12/the-banshees-of-inisherin-martin-mcdonagh-colin-farrell-brendan-gleeson-interview-1235189370/”]” Feb 6, 18:51
Muh on The Banshees of Inisherin: “I was thinking he said this was an original piece for the movies. Once he said he’d not do an…” Feb 6, 18:46
Major Calloway on The Banshees of Inisherin: ““The Pillowman” is also great. He also wrote it before he got into movies but it’s not quite a period…” Feb 6, 17:19
Major Calloway on The Banshees of Inisherin: “I agree that this is his best movie so far, I think, because of exactly what Muh said–it feels like…” Feb 6, 17:15
Chuck on The Banshees of Inisherin: “Loved this film but did find the allegory to the civil war a bit heavy-handed and unnecessary. It’s both tragic…” Feb 6, 15:42
MaggieMayPie on Justified is still good: “CJ – as a side to your comment that you’re switching over to Star Trek shows for a bit -…” Feb 6, 14:04
Bill Reed on Men: “Finally got to this one now that it’s appeared on Showtime. I really liked it, which I’m happy about because…” Feb 6, 13:19
Muh on The Banshees of Inisherin: “This movie is fantastic. I’ve seen a number of McDonaugh’s plays and he has two others with similar themes…I actually…” Feb 6, 12:09
VERN’S “I RECOMMEND THE SHIT OUT OF THIS PRODUCT” CORNER: