A little over 20 years ago, in a whole different cinematic era, they made a movie of the Marvel Comics super hero Daredevil. It was a strange, in-between period for comic book movies – they were neither the exciting novelty they’d been in the BATMAN-inspired ‘90s or the dominant cultural force they would soon become with the MCU. BLADE, X-MEN, BLADE II and SPIDER-MAN had come out, so Marvel finally had a track record of successful movie adaptations. But none of these took place in the same world, and there was even a famous outtake from X-MEN where a guy in a Spider-Man costume ran into a scene as a prank, and it seemed hilarious at the time.
DAREDEVIL was a test of what The Ain’t It Cool News and other self-declared “geek” voices on the internet had been preaching. In fact, Harry Knowles wrote a rave review of the script more than a year before filming started. It’s meant to be a dark, gritty and faithful adaptation of a character beloved by comics fans, but not very well known to civilians. Sure enough it was a hit, though only enough to get a spin-off and not multiple sequels like Blade, the X-Men and Spider-Man got. (read the rest of this shit…)
“There was some criticism that I made NASA look dumb in certain places. In fact if you heard some of these asteroid theories of what they are thinking of doing, it just sounds asinine.” –Michael Bay
ARMAGEDDON is Michael Bay’s third movie, but in some sense it’s the one where he revealed his true face to the world. There were plenty of examples of his style and character in BAD BOYS and THE ROCK, but it was ARMAGEDDON that first presented the full breadth of his trademarks: awesome awesome macho bros, pretty pretty sunsets, government employees portrayed as insufferable weiners even though they’re in the right, spinning cameras, haphazard editing all over the fucking place, chaotic mish-mashes of explosions and sparks and machinery and debris and smoke and crap, beautiful shots of people in various locations around the world, weirdly hateful characters presented as cutesy comic relief, an army of highly qualified writers seemingly locked in a cage and forced to duct tape a bunch of dumb ideas into the most unwieldy structure they can come up with that has a running time at least 30 minutes longer than the story has earned, and of course an ensemble of talented actors improvising jokes with no regard for any sort of desired rhythm or tone of storytelling. (read the rest of this shit…)
THE ISLAND I guess was Michael Bay’s big failure. He held his head high during his public shaming as the asshole who directed PEARL HARBOR, but this time he hit the type of bump that means more to him: he made a movie that didn’t make very much money. In the U.S. I guess it only made $36 million, which would be enough for his monthly Lamborghini allowance but doesn’t even cover a third of the shooting budget. For comparison, PEARL HARBOR made $75 million on its opening weekend.
Of course I’m coming to it eight years and three TRANSFORMERSes later having heard of its growing reputation as Michael Bay’s Not As Bad Movie. So when I was looking for a dumb summer blockbuster to get me in a summer movie mood it leapt off the video store shelf into my cold, reluctant embrace. (read the rest of this shit…)
Well, so far this summer of 2001 we’ve been having hasn’t been too hot. But at least we got that new Tim Burton movie coming out, right? I don’t know why they gotta remake PLANET OF THE APES but it’s a great cast and that guy knows what he’s doing, I’m sure he’ll do something interesting with it.
Nope. 10 years later I’m not sure I need to explain why the PLANET OF THE APES remake is no good. I don’t remember there being an argument about it at the time, or ever encountering anybody that liked it in the decade since. It was a bad idea, it was not good, let’s all pretend it never happened. The end.
If I had to choose the better STREET FIGHTER I guess I’d have to go with the newer one, STREET FIGHTER: THE LEGEND OF CHUN LI. It’s a slick, competently made preboot with TV actress Kristin Kreuk as the young Chun Li. There seems to be more martial arts in the first 8 minutes (when Chun Li is still a kid) than in the entire STREET FIGHTER: THE MOVIE even if you watched it two times in a row. Could’ve done without Chun Li’s constant voiceover narration through the first half, though. (read the rest of this shit…)
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Recent commentary and jibber-jabber
VERN on The Client: “I can see why you would count TRIAL OF THE CHICAGO 7, but I think that’s different, it had the…” Jul 26, 16:36
hurtado on The Client: “Y’all keep saying these things went away, but exec’s are still greenlighting Aaron Sorkin scripts. Now it’s time for ANOTHER…” Jul 26, 15:33
Skani on True Lies (30th anniversary revisit): “No lies detected. Thank you for these words and for your patience with me as I try to wake up…” Jul 26, 13:56
CJ Holden on Lassie (1994): “At some point they were adapting so many TV shows, they made fun of that in the CHARLIE’S ANGELS movie!” Jul 26, 12:28
Mr. Majestyk on True Lies (30th anniversary revisit): “Skani: This is why I have a problem with the term “woke.” It’s past tense. It indicates the completion of…” Jul 26, 12:20
Charles on Lassie (1994): “It is interesting upon reflecting how much remakes and IP were already a big part of Hollywood already in the…” Jul 26, 12:17
CJ Holden on Huda’s Salon: “I’m notoriously bad when it comes to giving feedback, but I’m gonna check it out too, Glaive. (Just beware of…” Jul 26, 07:17
Bill Reed on Huda’s Salon: “Vern, keep telling it like it is. Also, this movie sounds like a good one. Glaive, very interesting project. I…” Jul 26, 07:09
Skani on True Lies (30th anniversary revisit): “The historical record will show that James Bond was a darker-skinned Middle Eastern man, whereas the Bond films have whitewashed…” Jul 26, 06:53
Bert on Huda’s Salon: “Hey no worries on not every entry being a winner, we are all here reading Vern’s reviews anyways. ;)” Jul 26, 05:56
Kaplan on True Lies (30th anniversary revisit): “So no one can point to anything specifically racist in any of the Brosnan or Dalton Bond movies?” Jul 26, 05:22
Dreadguacamole on Lassie (1994): “By the time this came out I wouldn’t be caught dead watching it. The show was a perennial where I…” Jul 26, 04:58
Mr. Majestyk on The Client: “Wait, are you telling me there were OTHER books? Entire other genres even? Wow, what a fascinating rebuttal! You have…” Jul 26, 03:54
CJ Holden on Lassie (1994): “I just remembered something from the depths of my childhood: There was not just Lassie, but also Bessy, who was…” Jul 26, 00:56
Pacman2.0 on Lassie (1994): “The PS2 game is actually based (well, “based”) on the 2005 LASSIE, the back-to-its-roots (geographically and tonally) CASINO ROYALE-style reboot/re-adaptation…” Jul 25, 23:28