Archive for the ‘Romance’ Category
Monday, June 19th, 2006
Hey fellas,
I saw THE SCIENCE OF SLEEP which is the new Michel Gondry picture that comes out in September. It was the closing movie at the Seattle International Film Festival here. Michel Gondry was there to briefly introduce the movie, but didn’t do a question and answer session. Which is good because the first question probaly would’ve been, “what was that all about?”
Here’s the “where I’m coming from” paragraph, I’ll keep it brief. If you’re not into Michel Gondry then throw a grain of salt on this one, because I like every movie the guy has made. Yes, including HUMAN NATURE. I was the guy in the theater who was embarrassed because he couldn’t stop laughing and nobody else could start. To this day I think people didn’t give it a fair shake because they only had BEING JOHN MALKOVICH to compare it to. I honestly believe there will soon be a mass re-evaluation around the world where people decide they like HUMAN NATURE after all, now that they like Michel Gondry. If this does indeed happen then everybody has to buy me a Pepsi or something.
DAVE CHAPPELLE’S BLOCK PARTY is probaly my favorite movie so far this year so it’s impressive that Gondry has another one already done. And sure enough, it’s a good one.
SCIENCE OF SLEEP is sort of a surreal romantic comedy about Stphane (Gael Garca Bernal), a Gondry type who falls for his neighbor and tries to start a relationship with her. They have alot in common because they’re both very creative and goofy, but it’s awkward because he’s more of a weirdo than she is. Although he passes as a normal adult human with a boring job, he has some Pee Wee Herman in him. He keeps bringing her inventions such as a time machine that can go only one second into the future or past, or glasses that make reality 3-D, even though it already is. The movie depicts these devices as if they actually work so it’s sort of up to the audience whether to take it literally or not. (more…)
Tags: Michel Gondry
Posted in Comedy/Laffs, Drama, Fantasy/Swords, Reviews, Romance | 1 Comment »
Saturday, April 15th, 2006
Last week I reviewed this movie THE ICE HARVEST which I thought was only okay. And I think I blamed director Harold Ramis, who I accused of mediocrity. Then the other day, through coincidence or karma or something, I ended up watching GROUNDHOG DAY, which is the Bill Murray movie Ramis directed back in 1993.
I’d seen this movie before but I actually forgot how good it was, so I gotta give Mr. Ramis credit. I give credit where credit is due, and credit is due right here. Harold, here is your credit. Take it.
I’m sure you’ve seen this one before but if not here’s the deal. Bill Murray is a bitter, cynical weather man who has to go to Punxatawney to cover the Groundhog Day ceremony where they pull the groundhog out of a tree stump and pretend to ask him if he saw his shadow or not. Bill clearly hates this shit so he gets it over with and tries to get the hell out, but a blizzard (which he had predicted would not happen) strands him at a bed and breakfast.
The next morning he wakes up at 6 am hearing the same broadcast he heard the morning before, and thinks the radio station fucked up and played the wrong tape. But he looks out the window and there’s no snow, and people on the streets are headed for the Groundhog Day ceremony again. And he goes downstairs and starts to have the same encounters with various locals that he already had the day before.
And the rest of the movie is about the increasing frustration, mischief and eventual enlightenment caused by his having to live the same Punxatawney Groundhog Day over and over again (we don’t know how long it lasts but it’s definitely a long time – according to the DVD extras the writer originally envisioned it as thousands of years). (more…)
Tags: Bill Murray
Posted in Comedy/Laffs, Reviews, Romance | No Comments »
Saturday, February 25th, 2006
This movie stars Steve McQueen as a bank robber, which automatically makes it worth seeing. And this is a good movie. But to be honest it doesn’t live up to its reputation or its potential. I know that Steve McQueen, like me, was someone who often could be spotted out and about striving for excellence. So I don’t think he would have a problem with me holding him to a high standard of achievement.
The first thing you’ll notice about the movie is that it’s very stylish. The opening and various other scenes use split-screen up the wazoo, splitting the screen into something like six different little boxes to show the different people intersecting for a heist. The cinematographer is Haskell Wexler (see TELL THEM WHO YOU ARE above for more on him) so despite all the showoffery in the editing alot of the footage is very handheld, documentary looking, like you’re there. Alot of the scenes are just dialogue-free footage of Steve McQueen as Thomas Crown fucking around. For example he flies in a glider or drives around really fast in a dune buggy. The dune buggy footage is pretty spectular, it seems like he’s about to flip over at any moment and you can’t help but notice he’s got no roll bars above his head.
After the opening heist, the rest of the movie is about a hot insurance investigator (Faye Dunaway) tracking down the mastermind Thomas Crown and seducing him, toying with him, falling in love with him and finally realizing maybe she doesn’t want to bust him. It reminded me a little bit of OUT OF SIGHT and the whole romance between bank robber and federal marshall. (more…)
Only 1 person likes this post. Kinda sad.
Tags: Faye Dunaway, heists, Norman Jewison, Steve McQueen, Yaphet Kotto
Posted in Crime, Drama, Reviews, Romance, Thriller | No Comments »
Wednesday, January 25th, 2006
MATCH POINT is the new Woody Allen picture. The title refers to tennis but to me it sounds like just some generic name of a place title like GOSFORD PARK or PACIFIC HEIGHTS or LAND OF THE DEAD. If it was up to me it would be called KEEP YOUR DICK IN YOUR PANTS. You know, like, “This winter, director Woody Allen invites you to… Keep Your Dick In Your Pants.”
This is the first Woody Allen movie in a long time that doesn’t seem exactly like every other Woody Allen movie. It takes place in London with a mostly british cast. Jonathan Rhys somebody (a guy from TITUS) plays a guy named Chris. He’s a former pro tennis player who’s kind of a cheapskate, always trying to bum shit off of people. So one day he’s taking advantage of a rich tennis student’s generosity when he falls for the guy’s sister (Emily Mortimer). And then as soon as that’s rolling he falls even harder for the guy’s fiancee (Scarlett Johansen [hubba hubba]). He wants Scarlett bad and tries to make a pass at her but it doesn’t work out. So what the hell, he marries Emily. He gets a good job out of it and her parents pay for him to have a nice apartment and shit. And she wants some babies, now.
So then he’s playing tennis with the brother-in-law and the brother-in-law lets it slip that he decided to break up with Scarlett. Ah, shit. Next thing you know Chris tracks her down and starts having an affair with her. The movie is kind of like FATAL ATTRACTION in reverse. The married guy is pretty much stalking her at first. She’s not crazy, except in the sense that she’s screwin this chump. She does have to spend alot of the movie yelling and upset, but you can’t blame her. She’s the victim in this not some psychotic bitch like you’d expect in one of these affair movies.
I got a special inside tip from my man Laremy, he told me a while back that this one was terrible. I usually agree with Laremy but not on this one. It took me a little bit to warm up to it because the lead character is such an unlikable prick. And it’s not AMERICAN PSYCHO or nothing, you’re not sure, maybe you really are supposed to identify with this guy. But there’s literally no reason to like him, and every reason to hate him. Jesus, even down to him playing tennis. Who the fuck plays tennis? Anyway he’s not an anti-hero. He’s not a maniac. He’s just a fuckin scumbag. (more…)
Only 1 person likes this post. Kinda sad.
Tags: Brian Cox, Emily Mortimer, Jonathan Rhys Meyers, Matthew Goode, Scarlett Johansson, Woody Allen
Posted in Crime, Drama, Reviews, Romance, Thriller | No Comments »
Saturday, December 17th, 2005
For God’s sake man, when I go to see a western there are certain things I expect to see, and certain things I don’t expect to see, and one of the things I don’t expect to see–
Nah, I’m just fuckin with you. Everybody knows that BROKEBACK MOUNTAIN is “the gay cowboy movie.” Or that’s the hype anyway. So first thing’s first, I gotta tell you that the “gay cowboy” description is utter bullshit and if that’s what you wanna see you’re gonna be just as disappointed as I woulda been if I went in expecting THE OUTLAW JOSEY WALES. Because this is not about gay cowboys. It’s about gay sheperds. They herd sheep. They shepherd. They are gay shepherds. Get it straight, America. Cowboys are dealing with cows and cattle and whatnot. If they herd sheep, they are shepherds. In this case, gay shepherds.
Second thing to say is, this really is a good movie, they are not lying. Ang Lee knows his shit when it comes to gay shepherds in 1963 Wyoming, or giant green radioactive mutants contemplating lichen in the desert, or some guys in a tree fighting over the green sword of destiny, or whatever the fuck he wants to make a movie about. Ang Lee is a guy, you could just toss movie ideas at him and he would hit them out of the park with his eyes closed. Mafia epic. Opera based on the life of Malcolm Jamal Warner. Peewee football tragedy. HAMLET acted out by racoons. If you can describe it, this motherfucker can make a good movie out of it. Don’t even try it. You can’t beat him. It’s like fighting gravity.
Now, I don’t want to be one of those chumps that emphasizes “ALTHOUGH I AM STRAIGHT, I liked this movie, BUT I AM NOT GAY THOUGH” or that type of shit. So sorry if you think I’m a chump for saying this. But the simple fact of the matter is, I like vaginas. I don’t like buttholes. The protruding butt area on a woman is an excellent area, I am not so interested in the actual hole, male or female. That’s just the way I do things around here. And I’m not all that hot on romance movies anyway, or cowboys for that matter, let alone shepherds. (Although Joseph, Jesus’s dad, was probaly a good guy, and a good shepherd.) What I’m saying is, I did not necessarily expect to like this movie on more than an intellectual level, even if it is Ang Lee. (more…)
3 people like this post.
Tags: Ang Lee, Anne Hathaway, gay shepherds, Heath Ledger, Jake Gyllenhaal, Larry McMurtry, Michelle Williams, Randy Quaid
Posted in Drama, Reviews, Romance | 2 Comments »
Tuesday, December 13th, 2005
What’s up fellas -
I heard some shit about your butts were numb or something like that. Sorry to hear about that I hope you get well soon.
Anyway here’s the deal. I saw KING KONG. Not sure if you know about this one but it is a remake of an older picture from ‘33 or so. This version is by Pete Jackson who won an Oscar, etc. You LORD OF THE RINGS fans will know who I’m talking about. If not there is always the internet. I’m not sure if they have IMDB translated into elfish, but I’m sure you can find the information somewhere or other.
Basically the plot involves a 25 foot tall gorilla, a blonde gal and a prominent New York landmark. (not the statue of liberty.) By the end of the movie the fates of these three may or may not turn out to be intertwined. I don’t want to give too much away.
Okay I’ll be more specific. The movie is basically divided into two movements. First movement is the movie crew heading to this place Skull Island (don’t go there) where they meet the gorilla, who we will call Kong. Also there are dinosaurs, giant worms, giant bats, angry natives, skeletons (dead), things you can fall off of, and that sort of shit. Second movement, the action repeats itself in New York. (there are not giant worms and shit in New York though. sorry.) (more…)
Tags: Adrien Brody, Andy Serkis, gorillas, Jack Black, Jamie Bell, Naomi Watts, Peter Jackson, primate horror, remakes
Posted in Monster, Reviews, Romance | 1 Comment »
Friday, July 8th, 2005
Boys -
First off, congratulations on the kid, Moriarty. I hope he doesn’t have too many problems being named after some freak from FORBIDDEN ZONE. But congratulations and in my opinion some credit should also go to the wife, who I bet performed some of the more difficult aspects of the birthing process unless there is something Harry is not telling us.
Second order of business, I saw some movie called WEDDING CRASHERS. Owen Wilson and Vince Vaughn play a couple of dickheads who like to sneak into weddings because somehow it causes them to automatically get laid. When I first saw the trailer for this one I felt insulted. It seemed like one of those premises that would maybe seem funny when you first think of it but then you would realize before you got a chance to even write it down that it was not funny enough for anybody to actually make or especially watch. The trailer didn’t show any of the plot but I assumed it would be one of those generic romantic comedies where the protagonist lies and tricks people but then to his surprise he meets someone who he really falls in love with, and there are montages and flirting and laughing and they become close but it’s all based on a lie so then suddenly she finds out the truth and he has to admit that he’s a scumbag but then he publicly humiliates himself and proves to her that he really loves her and then… oh shit, what if in this one they got MARRIED AT THE END? Would that be ironic or what? The hunter becomes the huntress, or whatever.
But there was some good buzz on this one, some people saying it harkens to the glory days of raunchy R-rated comedy (what does that mean, Revenge of the Nerds 2?) and Entertainment Weekly did a big article a while back claiming it would be a huge sleeper hit. So maybe it’s not what it appears? I do like Owen Wilson and Vince Vaughn sometimes and the movie was free and I quit drinking a long time ago so what the hell, man, I went. (more…)
2 people like this post.
Tags: Christopher Walken, David Dobkin, Dwight Yoakam, Isla Fisher, Owen Wilson, Rachel McAdams, Vince Vaughn
Posted in Comedy/Laffs, Reviews, Romance | No Comments »
Friday, May 13th, 2005
(or DANNY THE DOG if you’re in Europe)
This is just your typical martial arts vehicle where the star (in this case Jet Li) has been raised like an animal in a cage and wears a collar and he’s trained by Bob Hoskins so that when the collar comes off he goes ape shit and beats the holy living fuck out of people that owe Bob Hoskins money. But then obviously he meets a blind piano tuner played by a respected Oscar winning actor (in this case Morgan Freeman) who teaches him about music and then the piano tuner’s stepdaughter teaches him to eat ice cream and then she gets her braces taken off so he becomes non-violent and refuses to fight in high stakes death matches.
Actually come to think of it this is not a typical martial arts movie at all, it’s pretty fuckin weird and that’s what I liked about it. Despite HERO I’m still pretty skeptical of new Jet Li movies, especially when he’s speaking the english type language. This is a good not great movie, but it’s a great move for Mr. Li because he plays a distinct character, he really gets to act, he fights in a different style and he even gets to put a sincere anti-violence message in there.
Like I said the title is DANNY THE DOG in Europe. That sounds better, but they thought people here would think it was like SOCCER DOG or something. Which come to think of it is not that far off. In those movies they got a dog who plays some sport like volleyball or football or whatever. Ain’t no rule says a dog can’t play basketball. Here, he’s a dog who does ultimate fighting. Only the gimmick is, he’s a dude. But also a dog. Anyway I’m getting off track here, the point is I don’t like the title UNLEASHED because in the movie, he never once has a leash. He’s uncollared but not unleashed. It’s just not accurate. At least it’s better than SAVED BY THE MUSIC which seriously is the title that Jet Li says him and Luc Besson wanted. (more…)
3 people like this post.
Tags: Bob Hoskins, Jet Li, Louis Leterrier, Luc Besson, Morgan Freeman, Pierre Morel, Scott Adkins, Yuen Woo-Ping
Posted in Action, Crime, Drama, Reviews, Romance, Thriller | No Comments »
Monday, April 11th, 2005
Usually even if I see a movie like this I wouldn’t review it. Because you know, light-hearted romantic comedy is not my area of expertise. But if a movie critic is a bear then FEVER PITCH is a big pile of fish slathered in a barrel of honey, and I think you know why. Because it’s easy as shit to write baseball puns and metaphors. It’s fuckin tee-ball for the hack headline writers of the world. Sometimes they wonder how the fuck they gonna come up with a pun for a movie headline, but with a baseball movie you hit control-A for “strikes out,” control-B for “swings for the fences.”
Actually I don’t think either of those is true, FEVER PITCH is more like a double or a triple or maybe a real good double play. They never use defensive plays in metaphors but double plays are obviously important, also triple plays but those don’t happen enough to be a common phrase. I don’t think there is such a thing as a quadruple play but it would be cool though. Anyway this is a cute romantic comedy deal but what makes it worth mentioning is
1) an observant premise that speaks to many people in ways most movies don’t
2) a likable cast, crucial to this kind of crap
III) subtly avoiding some of the usual crap you would expect in this type of movie
In the movie Jimmy Fallon (young guy that would always fuck up and start laughing when he was on Saturday Night Live a couple years back) is a math teacher who asks out yuppie businesswoman Drew Barrymore (girl from E.T. and the Charlie’s Angels dulogy). Jimmy is such a sweetheart that when he shows up for the first date and she’s puking her guts out from food poisoning, he not only nurses her back to health but cleans the bathroom and rents ROADHOUSE for her. (more…)
Tags: Drew Barrymore, Farrelly Brothers, Jimmy Fallon
Posted in Comedy/Laffs, Drama, Reviews, Romance | 1 Comment »
Saturday, January 1st, 2005
Sometimes at my age a fella has to admit he’s not exactly up on things. Not exactly with it. Specially when it seems like every other weekend I’m writing a review for a sequel to some movie where I never even saw the first one. Hell I never even HEARD of the first one half the time how the fuck I’m supposed to seen it already. Cut me some slack buddy.
But I picked up the dvd for this one because of a certain powerful force – the force of young Chloe Sevigny’s eyes staring out at me from the cover. I think most of you know how I feel about this gal, ever since I first spied her in the Last Days of Disco picture where her eyes were able to cut through seven layers of postmodern bullshit spewing out of the mouths of the pretentious yuppies in the movie. This girl is a hell of an actor but the main thing I’m talking about here is the presence. She has the presence of a real movie star. In my opinion. So I’ll see any movie she’s in even if it has her with her hair slicked back, wearing a tie, like in this one.
And please people, I’m just saying she’s a good actor. I’m not trying to pull some Jerry Seinfeld/Michael Douglas/Harold and Maude type bullshit here. Unless she’s offering.
Now I’m not sure what happened in the first one but this seems to make sense even without having seen it. It is three stories of three generations of lesbians with one thing tying all of them together – they are all lesbians, from three different generations.
The best story is actually not the one with Chloe in it. It’s the one starring Vanessa Redgrave as an elderly gal in 1952, who has spent her life in a loving relationship with another gal, sharing a house, birdwatching together and what not. They are very nice and lovable and have a nice house full of antiques. They are like the ultimate grandma team. (more…)
Tags: Anne Heche, Chloe Sevigny, Ellen DeGeneres, Martha Coolidge, Michelle Williams, Sharon Stone, Vanessa Redgrave
Posted in Drama, Reviews, Romance | No Comments »
