I donât know why I never got around to seeing the THE CROW sequel from the director of SIX-STRING SAMURAI. Always was curious. Still took me 19 years. Lance Mungiaâs THE CROW: WICKED PRAYER, just like the previous one, was meant for theaters, but I think it only played somewhere around here? Wiki(dprayer)pedia says its theatrical run was only in Seattle and only for one week, and I do remember seeing an ad for it and being confused, but I was thinking it was in Eastern Washington. Anyway, I didnât go.
URBAN LEGEND (1998) is, to my mind, one of the most âobviously weâre making this because of the success of SCREAMâ horror movies that exists. Itâs another young-people-whodunit-slasher, with a similarly constituted cast of pretty young movie and TV stars, but instead of killings inspired by horror movie tropes, these ones are based on popular urban myths. At the time I think I took it as dumb but pretty enjoyable, which is also how I feel about it now, and about many non-classic slasher movies. Like most of them it benefits from age – itâs a time capsule now rather than the latest the genre has to offer, so we have different expectations for it. (read the rest of this shit…)
A RETURN TO SALEM’S LOT is Larry Cohen’s weirdo theatrically-released sort-of-sequel to Tobe Hooper’s TV mini-series of the Stephen King book. But really it just takes the location – the tiny town of Jerusalem’s Lot, Maine – and the idea of doing a vampire story there. It’s not the same vampire or the same type of vampire. It doesn’t connect, from what I remember. But I like that.
Joe Weber (Cohen’s muse Michael Moriarty) is an anthropologist working on a CANNIBAL HOLOCAUST type documentary when he finds he has to come home to look after his troublemaking teenage son Jeremy (one-time actor Ricky Addison Reed, who IMDb claims was cast to play Robin in Tim Burton’s BATMAN in scenes that were never filmed). Joe brings his son to the old, recently-inherited fixer-upper in his birth-town of Salem’s Lot (as some but not all abbreviate it). (read the rest of this shit…)
Before Riverdale, before the Marvel Cinematic Universe, before Christopher Nolan Batman, before 9-11 even, there was a different type of comic book movie: JOSIE AND THE PUSSYCATS. Inspired by the Archie comic book and Hanna-Barbera cartoon, writer/directors Harry Elfont & Deborah Kaplan told a goofy version of the little-rock-‘n-roll-band-tested-by-overnight-superstardom story.
Actually maybe we should forget about comics and consider this timeline: it was a year before American Idol started. The Spice Girls had packed it up the year before. NSYNC and Backstreet Boys were still popular. The movie seems to offer the Pussycats as a refreshing alternative for teenage girls to obsess over instead of boy bands, but it should be noted that Destiny’s Child, Alicia Keys, Jennifer Lopez, Janet Jackson, Brandy, Madonna, Mary J. Blige, Pink, and Aaliyah (plus Britney Spears and Jessica Simpson) all had hits that year. But I guess the Pussycats do stand out by playing instruments. Their songs are kind of sassy pop punk, not good in my opinion but not as intolerable as some in-movie music. (read the rest of this shit…)
From the director of PUNISHER #2 and the star of PUNISHER #3 comes a solid, entertaining period gangster movie. It’s a biopic of Danny Greene, an Irish American union president, gang enforcer and dodger of car bombs in Cleveland, Ohio circa early ’60s through late ’70s. If it had been done as two separate movies maybe it would’ve got an arthouse release and some critical respect, but they did it as one so it was barely released by Anchor Bay and nobody ever heard of it. (read the rest of this shit…)
What this movie is about is pie fucking. There is a kid who fucks a pie in it. There is also a guy who fucks a grapefruit apparently but you don’t see that. But this guy fucks a pie.
The version I saw is the unrated DVD, which I guess has extra pie fucking footage. in the original apparently it was a standing up with the pie position, wheras here it is a missionary position with the kid mounting the pie. The cover of the unrated DVD shows all the young gals on the cover but don’t be fooled, none of them do any pie fucking in the movie, it is only this one guy. (read the rest of this shit…)
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Recent commentary and jibber-jabber
JeffG on Disclosure Day: “I found myself giddy while watching this, but the reaction (just from eavesdropping in the lobby and bathroom afterwards) seemed…” Jun 25, 10:59
JTS on Carolina Caroline: “I really like Samara Weaving, and she’s great in this, so I liked this… but I agree that the transition…” Jun 25, 02:09
VERN on Disclosure Day: “Ben C. – I agree that it was a little odd that she was worried people would see aliens as…” Jun 24, 23:44
pegsman on Disclosure Day: “I was surprised by how much I liked this. I’m no fan of neither CLOSE ENCOUNTER nor E.T. But I…” Jun 24, 22:08
grimgrinningchris on Teen Wolf Too: “WINCHESTER- Nearly 6 years late responding to your comment. It was my 12th birthday so we must both be Thanksgiving…” Jun 24, 21:39
Tim Bobo on Disclosure Day: “Oh and Spielberg films I liked better in the past 20 years than this one are: Fablemans, West Side Story,…” Jun 24, 17:26
Tim Bobo on Disclosure Day: “I liked it , but didnât really love it. It reminded me alot of Minority Report for some reason? Probably…” Jun 24, 17:22
Miguel Hombre on Disclosure Day: “Vern: this is one of the best reviews on this film I’ve read/seen, highlighting its many and obvious excellent aspects…” Jun 24, 17:07
Gepard on Disclosure Day: “This is Spielberg plus aliens and I want to be excited about it, but the trailers looked dull, like even…” Jun 24, 16:32
Mark Rawlings on The Cable Guy: “Love this film. Me and my (now sadly departed) friend, loved quoting this film especially the Medieval Times section. We…” Jun 24, 16:07
Ben C. on Disclosure Day: “I really wanted to like this one a lot more than I did – I love MINORITY REPORT and had…” Jun 24, 15:42
VERN on Disclosure Day: “I wish Spielberg would’ve asked that whippersnapper first so he would’ve known it’s way more cinematic to show Emily Blunt…” Jun 24, 15:21
Curt on Disclosure Day: “I read one extremely harsh online opinion (which I’m assuming was from a younger person) arguing that the movie is…” Jun 24, 15:01
URBAN LEGEND (1998) is, to my mind, one of the most âobviously weâre making this because of the success of 
A RETURN TO SALEM’S LOT is Larry Cohen’s weirdo theatrically-released sort-of-sequel to Tobe Hooper’s TV mini-series of the Stephen King book. But really it just takes the location – the tiny town of Jerusalem’s Lot, Maine – and the idea of doing a vampire story there. It’s not the same vampire or the same type of vampire. It doesn’t connect, from what I remember. But I like that.
Before 
From the director of 
What this movie is about is pie fucking. There is a kid who fucks a pie in it. There is also a guy who fucks a grapefruit apparently but you don’t see that. But this guy fucks a pie.
