I don’t know why I never got around to seeing the THE CROW sequel from the director of SIX-STRING SAMURAI. Always was curious. Still took me 19 years. Lance Mungia’s THE CROW: WICKED PRAYER, just like the previous one, was meant for theaters, but I think it only played somewhere around here? Wiki(dprayer)pedia says its theatrical run was only in Seattle and only for one week, and I do remember seeing an ad for it and being confused, but I was thinking it was in Eastern Washington. Anyway, I didn’t go.
Two Halloweens ago we discussed Tobe Hooper’s first masterpiece. This is his second. He didn’t even want to direct it at first, sort of got pushed into it, but damn did he rally. In many ways THE TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE 2 is the Tobe Hooperest movie ever made.
I don’t blame you if you’re skeptical during the opening scene where two obnoxious “senior boys at Wheeler High” calling themselves “Buzz and Rick the Prick” drunkenly drive a Porsche, fire guns, and harass the K-OKLA request line until they receive a drive-by chainsawing on a bridge that must’ve been built by the same people who made that endless runway from the climactic chase in FURIOUS 6. (read the rest of this shit…)
I gotta confess coming to this one from a place of cinematic ignorance. I’ve seen the original Godard movie, but I don’t remember jack shit about it. I thought it was pretty good, I believe. That’s about all I got. Still, I’m sure less people could tell you anything about the remake than everything about the original. So this makes me smart. (read the rest of this shit…)
These last couple weeks have been tough on my mental facilities. I reviewed that great new “ULTIMATE” edition of the original TEXAS CHAIN SAW MASSACRE, I also revisited parts 3 and 4 in that original series, then on Thursday I reviewed the new prequel to the remake. So by that point I’d studied and written about pretty much every angle to the whole Texas Chainsaw deal. You’d think I’d be done with it by now, but there is one final chapter: the one spinoff of the original movie that achieves its own level of True Greatness. I am talking about Tobe Hooper’s 1986 sequel, THE TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE 2. It’s been available on DVD for a couple years in a bare bones edition (get it, that is a pun because of all the skeletons they have) but Tuesday it comes out in a much deserved special edition with new commentaries, featurettes and deleted scenes. (read the rest of this shit…)
WAYS YOU CAN SUPPORT THE SHIT OUT OF VERN & OUTLAWVERN.COM
if that's your thing:
1. Patreon
Toss me a couple bucks a month, support the good shit, also get access to a bunch of exclusive writing. This is my primary source of writing money that has allowed me to cut down to part time at the day job. Thank you!
2. Buy my books from your local bookseller or somebody
(NOTE: My ten year contract has passed on the Titan books, so I don't get residuals on them like I do WORM ON A HOOK and NIKETOWN, but I would love for you to read them because I'm proud of them)
EXTRA CREDIT: Review them on Amazon! That would really help me out. Unless you didn't like them, in which case forget I said anything.
3. If you ever buy from Amazon, go through my links or search engines
(you pay the same amount you were gonna pay anyway they cut me a little slice)
I also have an Amazon UK one:
(I can't get the search box widget to work anymore, so click on MOONWALKER and then search for what you want.)
4. My exciting line of fashion and leisure products
(I get a couple bucks per item, you get a cool t-shirt, mug or lifestyle item)
5. Spread the word
Tell your friends about my reviews and my books and everything. Only cool people though please, we don't need a bunch of suckers and/or chumps around here.
THANKS EVERYBODY. YOUR FRIEND, VERN
* * * *
Recent commentary and jibber-jabber
Peter Campbell on Masters of the Universe (2026): “I really enjoyed this film. The jokes didn’t bother me at all as I am in no way a He-man…” Jun 9, 15:04
Lorin A Kozlowski on Masters of the Universe (2026): “I think TMNT endures because it has 4 distinct personalities at it’s core, and everyone has a different favorite. I…” Jun 9, 14:37
BESTIEunlmt on Masters of the Universe (2026): “I’m going to see it next Monday and maybe weigh in with an opinion later – believe it or not,…” Jun 9, 14:16
Schmoe Gunn on Masters of the Universe (2026): “This review and discussion has been a fascinating read for me. The main thing that really stood out to me…” Jun 9, 12:41
Mr. Majestyk on Masters of the Universe (2026): “Vern, I don’t recall Whedon ever undercutting Iron Man. I think you’re thinking of IRON MAN 3, when Tony’s posed…” Jun 9, 10:59
Muh on Masters of the Universe (2026): “Oh as for TMNT, I have friends who have very young kids and maybe too young for watching stuff like…” Jun 9, 10:39
Muh on Masters of the Universe (2026): “The Batman gliding bit works because it’s ot really a deflating joke. It kind of ups the stakes because he’s…” Jun 9, 10:36
E-Squared on Heavy: “For the longest time, I was curious about this movie. As someone who has been heavyset for almost his whole…” Jun 9, 10:03
RBatty024 on Masters of the Universe (2026): “It’s a real shame that the movie feels the need to poke fun at itself so much because it seems…” Jun 9, 08:02
VERN on Masters of the Universe (2026): “I think that Joss Whedon and James Gunn have both excelled at pouring their hearts into their characters and being…” Jun 9, 07:35
Alex R on Masters of the Universe (2026): “Knowing pop culture winks have for sure been around forever. The first part of the first novel, Don Quixote, was…” Jun 9, 06:17
CJ Holden on Masters of the Universe (2026): “If there is one thing that this discussion has proved, it’s that variations of “Deflating a movie with jokes” have…” Jun 9, 05:34
RRA on Masters of the Universe (2026): “A good question is why MOTU didn’t have the multi-generational power of TMNT? Was MOTU just specific an aesthetic tied…” Jun 9, 04:46
Stacy L on Masters of the Universe (2026): “Surely Aladdin (1992) was the defining example of adding self-aware jokes and deflating sincerity with quips? Just because it had…” Jun 9, 03:53
RRA on Masters of the Universe (2026): “On topic of Hollywood learning the wrong lessons, reminds me of the current thinkpiece “wisdom” after OBSESSION and BACKROOMS is…” Jun 9, 02:16