I reviewed STEALTH when it came out and, though I was alone on this, I really enjoyed it. I didn’t believe I was entirely receiving it in the spirit intended, but maybe it sorta knows what it’s doing? Doesn’t matter – death of the author. These days director Rob Cohen is disdained for allegations of sexual assault, but back then it was just for the quality of his movies. Since I only knew about the movie part I was okay with him, ‘cause I always liked DRAGON: THE BRUCE LEE STORY and THE FAST AND THE FURIOUS started a run of increasingly stupid movies that I got a kick out of (after this there was THE MUMMY: TOMB OF THE DRAGON EMPEROR, ALEX CROSS, THE BOY NEXT DOOR and ).
I was pretty excited to return to it, expecting my original verdict to hold true, but I hyped myself up too much. This time it had a few laughs but the aerial spectacle (involving lots of animation and green screen cockpit acting that might’ve been a little ahead of its time) gets pretty repetitive. I did like that Cohen has virtual shots going through the circuitry of the jet, repeating his trademark move from THE FAST AND THE FURIOUS. (read the rest of this shit…)
Back in 2020 there was a pretty cool indie action type thing called BECKY. Lulu Wilson (The Haunting of Hill House) played a sullen thirteen year old trying to emotionally survive a cabin retreat with her widower father and his new fiance when suddenly she has to physically survive a home invasion by a neo-nazi gang. They killed her family (except for her dog Diego) so she hides the mysterious, possibly-mystical key they’re looking for and turns into kid McClane, violently hunting them using household and treehousehold items and wearing a cutesy knitted chipmunk hat.
I had some issues with BECKY but I enjoyed it enough to be excited by the prospect of a sequel with the pulpy title THE WRATH OF BECKY. It got a limited theatrical and VOD release back in May and has since come out on DVD (but not blu-ray I guess?). (read the rest of this shit…)
I skipped EVOLUTION in the summer of 2001 because it didn’t look very good. Hey, what do you know, it turns out me-of-ten-years-ago knew what he was doing. But for this important scholarly work it was crucial that I not just view the 2001 movies people remember. To truly get a feel for the period I had to watch at least one movie that came out that summer and then nobody ever thought about it again. (read the rest of this shit…)
(disclaimer: I started writing this review before everybody was writing about RED STATE playing at Sundance, and before you guys all discussed Kevin Smith to death. But I still decided to finish it because the tortoise vs. the hare, etc.)
Kevin Smith has been in the news lately for not wanting to be in the news. He’s done a few interviews about how he refuses to do interviews, and sights like /film have been kissing his ass for basically saying that sights like /film can kiss his ass. He has been doing promotion for his new movie RED STATE by going around saying that he will refuse to do any promotion for his new movie RED STATE.
I had no problem skipping this one when it came to theaters, but it was on DVD where the problems came up. Sure, I tried, but then motherfuckers kept recommending it to me. Saying it was “actually good” and “alot of fun” and all that kind of nonsense. After a while I figured well why not, give this Rock dude a shot. I skipped his mummy pictures, so all I know is he was in BEYOND THE MAT and he seemed like a nice guy. Goes by the name of Dwayne, I believe, in everyday life, but for wrestling and movies it’s last name Rock, first name The. No relation to Chris.
The movie was pretty much what I expected when I first succeeded in skipping it. Unfortunately when they’re trying out action heroes that have not yet convinced the Hollywood suits, they have to team them with some company man as his partner/buddy/”comic” relief sidekick. For example they pulled this shit on Chow Yun Fat in BULLET PROOF MONK and here they have the same fucking narc, Sean William Scott from the AMERICAN PIE teenage pictures, saddling down The Rock, making sure he stays in line and doesn’t pull anything funny like making a great movie. (read the rest of this shit…)
What this movie is about is pie fucking. There is a kid who fucks a pie in it. There is also a guy who fucks a grapefruit apparently but you don’t see that. But this guy fucks a pie.
The version I saw is the unrated DVD, which I guess has extra pie fucking footage. in the original apparently it was a standing up with the pie position, wheras here it is a missionary position with the kid mounting the pie. The cover of the unrated DVD shows all the young gals on the cover but don’t be fooled, none of them do any pie fucking in the movie, it is only this one guy. (read the rest of this shit…)
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geoffreyjar on Send Help: “I thought this one ruled. Bunch of laugh out loud moments and a further evolution of Raimi-Gags. Even better, I…” Feb 2, 20:19
PJ on Send Help: “Maybe it’s because I’m so used to Raimi stories being these (tragically or comically) brutal morality fables, it’s so bracing…” Feb 2, 13:14
Palermo on Send Help: “I agree with this review almost entirely. Raimi and the writers set it up as a workplace vengeance dark comedy,…” Feb 2, 12:25
E.f. Contentment on Send Help: “Actually, that link I posted is for an alternate cut of the video. It’s missing a couple of things while…” Feb 2, 10:22
zikade on Send Help: “I haven’t seen this, yet, so maybe the movie makes a greater point about this, but I do want to…” Feb 2, 10:21
E.f. Contentment on Send Help: “simon beat me to it re: learning everything from books and experience, and not the “Survivor” program itself. So instead…” Feb 2, 10:04
Bill Reed on Send Help: “SPOILERS, PROBABLY: This is my favorite Raimi picture since SPIDER-MAN 2 or 3. I would categorize it as a thrillablast,…” Feb 2, 08:34
Borg9 on KPop Demon Hunters + Boys Go to Jupiter: “Talking of Lee Byung-hun and JSA, it was nice to see him and Park Chan-wook doing the talk show rounds…” Feb 2, 08:14
simon on Send Help: “Just one point regarding “if she learned everything show knows from Survivor”. At the start of the film the camera…” Feb 2, 07:49
Borg9 on KPop Demon Hunters + Boys Go to Jupiter: “I’ve not seen KPOP DEMON HUNTERS, and realistically it will be a fairly long time before it gets very high…” Feb 2, 07:46
Jason on Send Help: “It kind of feels like the bloat in the middle is trying to wedge in that she was always messed…” Feb 2, 07:31
KayKay on Afterburn: “Once again, Stu echoes my thoughts. THE WRECKING CREW is oodles of fun for those craving a slice of 80s…” Feb 2, 06:04
July 29, 2005
).
Back in 2020 there was a pretty cool indie action type thing called 
released June 8th, 2001
(
I had no problem skipping this one when it came to theaters, but it was on DVD where the problems came up. Sure, I tried, but then motherfuckers kept recommending it to me. Saying it was “actually good” and “alot of fun” and all that kind of nonsense. After a while I figured well why not, give this Rock dude a shot. I skipped his mummy pictures, so all I know is he was in BEYOND THE MAT and he seemed like a nice guy. Goes by the name of Dwayne, I believe, in everyday life, but for wrestling and movies it’s last name Rock, first name The. No relation to Chris.
What this movie is about is pie fucking. There is a kid who fucks a pie in it. There is also a guy who fucks a grapefruit apparently but you don’t see that. But this guy fucks a pie.
