THE CRAFT: LEGACY is, in my opinion, a remaquel. It technically takes place after the events of the 1996 film, with new characters, but the basic setup is intentionally a repeat, and the sequel part plays like it was meant to be a surprise at the very end. I believe that if they cut that scene and the subtitle then everyone would’ve accepted this as just a remake with some nice twists and changes in details.
Whatever you want to call it, it works best as a companion piece, a compare-and-contrast exercise, and there’s quite a bit that lines up. Once again we have a new girl moving to town with her single parent, she befriends the three outsider girls who are in need of a fourth person for their witch’s circle, they successfully cast some spells on their tormenters, including a mean jock boy who she causes to start following her around being nice to her. A small difference is that it’s not a Catholic school this time, so they get to be straight up goth without taking liberties with the school uniform. A bigger difference is that the newcomer’s family is central to the story. (read the rest of this shit…)
Of the other Summer of ’91 movies so far, DON’T TELL MOM THE BABYSITTER’S DEAD is most similar to SWITCH. It’s not nearly as high concept or fantastical, but it’s another comedy about a woman (in this case not a man trapped in a woman’s body, but an actual teenage girl) pretending to be an adult in order to work a fancy office job. I think I saw it back in the day but I had no memory of it, and the title and cover with the babysitter’s dead feet sticking out of the lawn had me thinking it was a dark comedy. I was even thinking “Oh shit, Christina Applegate now stars in Dead To Me, which also involves lying about a death and hiding a dead body.” But that’s not really much of a factor here.
(P.S. – She’s absolutely great on that show.)
The titular mom (Concetta Tomei, Max Headroom) goes on vacation to Australia with her boyfriend, and right when she’s leaving reveals to her five kids that she hired the titular elderly babysitter (Eda Reiss Merin, THE BLACK CAULDRON) to stay with them. I guess it’s a long trip, but this is two 17 year old high school graduates, a 14 year old, a 13 year old and an 11 year old – do they really need a full time paid supervisor? In ’91 no, of course not, you just give the kids a key and pizza money. So I guess this movie was ahead of its time. (read the rest of this shit…)
(note: Some people call it X-FILES: FIGHT THE FUTURE, but I think “fight the future” is just the tag line, like “DIE HARDER.”)
Oh shit, man. The ’90s. The X-Files sure was a bigger deal in the ’90s, wasn’t it? And in some ways this movie spin-off of the show is the most era-representative of the ones I’ve watched in this series so far. Not in style, or in any kind of fun, nostalgic way – it doesn’t feel very dated – but just in its view of the world. It spoke to a type of pre-millennium paranoia that has uncool associations today, but at the time was fresh and edgy and hip.
See, the internet was pretty new, so it wasn’t common to know about every strange belief or kooky fringe group. If you wanted to find out about some weird creature somebody claimed to spot you had to read outdated cryptozoology books at the library. If you wanted to know about UFO cults you had to know their address and send them a self addressed stamped envelope and read their newsletter. I don’t know why, but that’s what I did at a certain age. One time I even went to a UFO cult’s presentation on a college campus. All I really remember was a woman with a shaved head who seemed very sincere about all this. A few years later when the mass suicide happened I dug out a handout I’d saved, and though it didn’t say “Heaven’s Gate” on it anywhere it described the same theology, following the teachings of someone called “The Two” or “Ti and Do.” And I always wondered if that lady got out in time. (read the rest of this shit…)
I was a casual X-Files-viewing type of individual. I watched it sometimes, but not all the way until the wheels fell off. I mostly liked the funny episodes like the vampires one with Luke Wilson (written by the guy that later did HOME FRIES and Breaking Bad) or the one where the guy describes the men in black as looking like Alex Trebek and Jesse “The Body” Ventura, and then that’s who plays them in the episode. I also liked the whole ongoing story about the aliens and the black oil and shit to a point, but I mean I can only keep track of so much, fellas. I lost interest. So I kinda liked the idea of a smaller, more standalone horror movie with the X-Filesers in it, but since nobody ever claimed I WANT TO BELIEVE was any good I didn’t get around to watching it until now.
I never saw the end of the show, but it looks like Mulder and Scully both quit the FBI, and now they live together, though I don’t think anybody knows Mulder is there. Scully is a big time doctor at a Catholic hospital, Mulder is a shaggy beardo who stays in his room surrounded by news clippings and does… I don’t know. Desk work? Maybe he’s a private monster investigator, or working on a novel, or doing a video game review websight or something. Or scrapbooking maybe is what he’s into, it probly said but I missed it. (read the rest of this shit…)
I skipped EVOLUTION in the summer of 2001 because it didn’t look very good. Hey, what do you know, it turns out me-of-ten-years-ago knew what he was doing. But for this important scholarly work it was crucial that I not just view the 2001 movies people remember. To truly get a feel for the period I had to watch at least one movie that came out that summer and then nobody ever thought about it again. (read the rest of this shit…)
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Recent commentary and jibber-jabber
VERN on Dragonheart: “In regards to the David Thewlis action figure, he had a non-movie evil dragon he could ride on, so he’s…” Jun 4, 22:54
CJ Holden on The Arrival: “This was a DTV release here, so that definitely gave it an even bigger “Hey, that was actually really cool”…” Jun 4, 13:30
Dreadguacamole on Dragonheart: “There was a D&D movie made in the very late 90s, and it probably owed its existence at least in…” Jun 4, 13:12
Lorin on Dragonheart: “The only thing I remember from this movie is the scam being found out when the dragon tries to crash…” Jun 4, 10:17
Tim bobo on Dragonheart: “Haven’t seen it since summer 1996 and I remember it being fairly blah. I remember the hook at the time…” Jun 4, 09:47
Aktion Figure on Dragonheart: “*cough* Excuse me *cough*” Jun 4, 06:31
Aktion Figure on Dragonheart: “Was there something in the air around this time concerning “Braveheart” but with fantasy but with PG-13? I’d almost swear…” Jun 4, 06:27
Aktion Figure on Dragonheart: “Was there something in the air around this time concerning “Braveheart” but with fantasy but with PG-13? I’d almost swear…” Jun 4, 06:26
BuzzFeedAldrin on Welcome to the Dollhouse: “When young Buzz was in suburban NJ and starved for culture, I BEGGED my dad to take me to this…” Jun 4, 05:51
CJ Holden on Dragonheart: “From what I’ve read about it, the last three DRAGONHEART DTV sequels form a trilogy with its own lore and…” Jun 4, 00:56
Crudnasty on The Mandalorian and Grogu: “Thanks, Vern, and sorry to have exhumed the horse skeleton for another beat down. I think this is one of…” Jun 3, 18:46
Mr. Majestyk on Dragonheart: “According to the surprisingly extensive special features on the ancient DVD, pretty much all the choices holding this movie back…” Jun 3, 17:25
VERN on The Mandalorian and Grogu: “I appreciate this discussion and feel like I have some agreement with everybody’s points. But I would like to send…” Jun 3, 15:29
Crudnasty on The Mandalorian and Grogu: “When I watched Andor the accents were interesting to me because it seemed like there was maybe some symbolism behind…” Jun 3, 15:02
Alex R on The Mandalorian and Grogu: “I agree with most of what’s said about why Star Wars doesn’t hit people anymore, though I’ll say that I…” Jun 3, 11:48