Last week when I went to see BLADES OF THE GUARDIANS: WIND RISES IN THE DESERT I saw some exciting trailers, including one for a kidnapped daughter action vehicle starring the great Milla Jovovich (THE THREE MUSKETEERS). And it was coming out this week. January came late this year, fellas! I hope this doesn’t mean Milla wants to abdicate her crown as the queen of digital FX horror/fantasy action movie bullshit (RESIDENT EVIL, ULTRAVIOLET, HELLBOY 2019, MONSTER HUNTER, IN THE LOST LANDS, etc.), but I was excited to see her in a straight ahead TAKEN type deal. So you bet I was at the 12:10 pm Friday matinee of PROTECTOR.
The director is Adrian Grünberg (GET THE GRINGO). Fortunately it doesn’t have all the problems of his movie RAMBO: LAST BLOOD, but it has a similar brain-fried-by-Facebook world view. An even-more-heavy-handed-than-the-rest-of-the-movie intro tells us that while American soldiers were being sent overseas a war was being fought at home against human trafficking. I’m not sure who or what that refers to though because our story is about one of the people who is overseas who will later begin a one-woman war against said criminal activity. (read the rest of this shit…)

There is a movie that was released by American International Pictures in 1987 that’s still only available on VHS, and the name of the movie is KICK OR DIE. If you need any more information than that, please enjoy this review.
BLADES OF THE GUARDIANS is the new movie that’s gonna make me even more confused when I’m trying to remember which OF THE GUARDIANS movie is
YOUR MONSTER is a 2024 romantic comedy with a fantastical genre concept. Laura (Melissa Barrera,
THE SECRET AGENT (O Agente Secreto) is the last 2025 best picture nominee I hadn’t seen, but I was gonna see it anyway. By coincidence I had just caught up with writer/director Kleber Mendonça Filho’s 2019 film
I don’t identify as an anime fan. Not because I’d be ashamed to, but because I don’t want to steal that valor. Real anime fans contain volumes of cultural knowledge that I lack. I don’t think I’m a tourist, but maybe a vacationer. At most a dabbler, a casual partaker, an occasional appreciator. But I love the artform of animation, so some of that stuff hits the spot.
The idea of a horror movie called RUMPELSTILTSKIN seemed funny enough to me in the 1990s that I got a poster for it in the free bin at the video store (“1996 THEATRICAL RELEASE!” it exclaimed) and hung it on my wall, but not enough that it ever occurred to me to actually watch it. Then a couple years ago the eccentrically curated label Terror Vision put out a fancy 4K/blu-ray special edition, and I thought, “Could it actually be good?”
40 ACRES is a 2024 post-apocalyptic movie, set 12 years after a fungal infection killed all the animals, causing civilization to collapse. It centers on Hailey Freeman (Danielle Deadwyler, 



















