I don’t review that many straight up comedies, but sometimes it works out in these summer retrospectives, since there’s usually something to be said about them as time capsules and how their themes compare or contrast to other films of the season. After all, this series started with SERIAL MOM, and that’s one of the best movies of the summer. PCU wasn’t good, but it had some interesting things to analyze. Sometimes it’s worth my while.
But here we are in August, with its reputation as a dumping ground for shitty movies, and the ones I’ve been watching haven’t dispelled that notion. None of these felt like enough to write about on their own, but hopefully in the aggregate they might be worth reading about? I don’t know. I trust you to make your own decisions on that.
I am not up on the works of Paulie Shore, but I went into IN THE ARMY NOW (released August 12th) with an open mind. It starts with the sound of Bones (Shore) saying something about “pilgrim” in a John Wayne voice (always, always, always funny, I’m sure we all agree) and then bickering with his buddy Jack (Andy Dick, DOUBLE DRAGON) as they play a video game about tank warfare. It turns out they’re doing this while working their shifts at an electronics store called Crazy Boys in Glendale. Bones is about to get fired, then briefly averts it when his girlfriend (Fabiana Udenio, BRIDE OF RE-ANIMATOR) pretends to be a customer buying an expensive TV from him, but the boss finds out the scam because he tries to have sex with her in the back and Jack uses one of the video cameras to broadcast it on the wall of TVs.
I didn’t really follow why Jack would do that, how they could still be friends afterwards, or what they meant when they said they were both fired for blowing up TVs. But it’s an excuse for them to need money and join the army reserves, specifically the water purification unit, where Bones turns out to know some things because of his brother being a pool man. (Adam Sandler from AIRHEADS?) Later Libya invades Chad so they get called up along with scaredy cat Fred (David Alan Grier, BOOMERANG) and bloodthirsty Christine (Lori Petty, POINT BREAK), who correctly guessed that joining water purification was a way to see combat in a desert war. Bones of course makes the moves on her and she’s inexplicably charmed by him. They feud with Special Forces Staff Sergeant Stern (Esai Morales, THE PRINCIPAL) like a snobs vs. slobs movie, and later have to work with him after they get ambushed and captured during a mission. Then it turns into a whole thing where they have to destroy chemical weapons. Like NAVY SEALS.
It’s not anything revolutionary to say I just don’t find Shore’s shtick very funny. There was at least one part that got me to laugh, though, when he makes a big speech to make peace with the other soldiers in the mess hall and says “If our American troops were acting like this in Desert Storm, Saddam Hussein would still be running Iraq.”
Since it’s not very funny it feels like this generic war movie plot is pretty serious. Obviously the idea is to have it as background while he does wacky voices, fires a rocket launcher backwards and shit like that, but it really seems like we’re expected to be invested in it, root for them, be proud of them for pulling it off. Oh, good for them, I thought they were losers but they aided the American war machine. The score is by Robert Folk (ROCK-A-DOODLE), and like with POLICE ACADEMY he kind of goes harder than required. It’s a little much.
The most valuable thing about the movie is that you get to see the laser disc section at Crazy Boys.
This is the second movie directed by Daniel Petrie Jr., following the actually serious TOY SOLDIERS. He had also written BEVERLY HILLS COP, THE BIG EASY, SHOOT TO KILL and TURNER & HOOCH. Here he shares screenwriting credit with Ken Kaufman (later wrote MUPPETS FROM SPACE, SPACE COWBOYS and THE EXPENDABLES 2), Stu Krieger (THE LAND BEFORE TIME), Fax Bahr (HEARTS OF DARKNESS:A FILMMAKER’S APOCALYPSE) & Adam Small (SON IN LAW), story by Steve Zacharias & Jeff Buhai (REVENGE OF THE NERDS) and Robbie Fox (SO I MARRIED AN AXE MURDERER).
BLANKMAN (released August 19th) is arguably very slightly more interesting than IN THE ARMY NOW in concept, but makes way less effort to even have jokes. It’s the most half-assed, bargain basement version of a vigilante super hero story, told seriously, except with a goofball as the main character. Darryl (Damon Wayans, THE LAST BOY SCOUT) and Kevin (David Alan Grier, IN THE ARMY NOW) are brothers who grew up watching the Adam West Batman show. Then they became adults but Darryl talks in a squeaky nerd voice, builds robots and drones out of junk, wears broken glasses with a fork for one temple and has no self awareness or social skills.
Wikipedia describes Darryl as “a nerdy, gullible man child,” while Kevin describes him with the r-word. It’s never made explicit if he’s literally meant to have a disability, but I always took him as a remix of Wayans’ similar In Living Color character Handiman. Back then I had a roommate who worked with special ed kids and he swore they loved Handiman because he showed them they could be super heroes, but I don’t know man. It always seemed mean to me.
Anyway their Grandma (Lynne Thigpen, THE WARRIORS) tells off a mobster (Jon Polito, last seen in THE CROW) so she gets murdered, and this inspires Darryl to wear a shitty costume made out of a towel and use his inventions to fight crime. Meanwhile, Kevin works as a camera man for a Hard Copy type show, is trying to impress a hot reporter (Robin Givens, A RAGE IN HARLEM), and gets her an interview with the mysterious Blankman. Blankman takes her on a vehicle that runs on the subway tracks, almost gets her killed, and she thinks he’s very sweet and kisses him – an attraction even less justifiable than Lori Petty falling for Paulie Shore in the last movie.
I actually saw BLANKMAN in the theater and thought it sucked then, I’m not sure what I was expecting this time. Would it be more interesting after 30 years of super hero movie evolution? No. I’m afraid not. As far as jokes – is it a joke that he’s not rich so instead of a bat cave he builds a hideout on the subway line and calls it The Blank Station? I don’t know if that even counts. I guess it’s a joke when he’s kissed and either gets a boner or cums in his pants or something? Shades of Forrest Gump touching his first boob. And other people are inspired to become super heroes including Tony Cox who calls himself Midget Man. You see. But mostly you’re just watching the absolutely most flavorless Saturday morning cartoon off brand Batman type story. Robert Townsend’s THE METEOR MAN came out the year before and I don’t think it’s anything great but man does it seem full of heart, imagination and humor compared to this one.
Wayans is credited as co-writer with J.F. Lawton (PRETTY WOMAN, UNDER SIEGE). The director is Mike Binder (INDIAN SUMMER). Maybe the most notable thing about the movie is the R&B heavy soundtrack featuring II D Extreme, Tag Team, Lalah Hathaway and an opening credits song called “Super Hero” by The New Power Generation featuring The Steeles. That means it’s written and produced by Prince and he plays some of the instruments on it, but the vocals are by NPG bass player Sonny T. and their backup singers The Steeles. This is very much of the new jack swing era, not my favorite flavor or Prince, and there’s a slightly better version of the song on the 1993 Earth Wind & Fire album Millennium.
Next I tried to watch WAGONS EAST, released August 26th. It’s the posthumously released John Candy comedy western that I always confuse with ALMOST HEROES, the posthumously released Chris Farley comedy western. I got about halfway through and hadn’t found much of anything funny or interesting yet, so I gave up. I do kinda like the concept of a western where Richard Lewis is a main character and just acts like Richard Lewis. They should do a remake with Marc Maron.
Finally, I watched SHAKE, RATTLE & ROCK!, which also came out August 26th, only it was straight to Showtime. This is part of the pay cable channel’s series Rebel Highway, where they got pretty notable directors to do remakes of American International Pictures movies about juvenile delinquents and what not. I’ve seen Robert Rodriguez’s ROADRACERS, John Milius’ MOTORCYCLE GANG and Ralph Bakshi’s COOL AND THE CRAZY, but there are others.
This one is from Allan Arkush (GET CRAZY), screenplay by Trish Soodik (ANNIE: A ROYAL ADVENTURE!) and it’s a campy ode to the days of teens discovering rock ’n roll from TV shows and rebelling against uptight grown ups. Renee Zellweger (DAZED AND CONFUSED) stars as Susan, teenage Picasso wannabe and hairbrush lip syncer who’s inspired by the local TV dance show 3 O’Clock Hop and its host Danny Klay (Howie Mandel, MAGIC KID II) to start a rock ’n roll band called The Eggrolls. Her friend Cookie (Patricia Childress, BABY BROKERS) plays saxophone and Tony (Max Perlich, last seen in MAVERICK, now wearing his usual hat) plays drums, but they don’t have much until they somewhat accidentally join forces with a doo wop quartet called The Sirens, played by the R&B group For Real (Latanyia Baldwin,Necia Bray, Josina Elder and Wendi Williams), who hang out and sing “Blue Moon” outside of the TV studio, because they’re not allowed inside due to segregation. John Doe (ROAD HOUSE) plays a scary biker they all won’t give the time of day to but Susan is clearly hiding an attraction to him. (He was about 40 then but I think we’re supposed to think of him as like 21 and misunderstood, not a creeper.)
The Eggrolls meet The Sirens when Susan sees a local butcher threatening to call the cops on them for singing on the street, and she calls him a Nazi pig to his face. They don’t immediately welcome her as their brave white ally but it helps them eventually trust her.
Susan’s mom Margo (Nora Dunn from Saturday Night Live) doesn’t really understand her and fears her rock ’n roll lifestyle thanks to the influence of her friend Joyce (Mary Woronov, DEATH RACE 2000), a librarian who drops books that offend her (Catcher and the Rye, Invisible Man, The Naked and the Dead) in the garbage before whispering to Margo about the dangers of “jungle music.” Fellow ROCK ’N ROLL HIGH SCHOOL cast members Dey Young (SPONTANEOUS COMBUSTION) and P.J. Soles (CARRIE) also play concerned parents.
When the kids and Danny Klay put on a fun concert at a former restaurant in Chinatown, the moms get a cop (Dick Miller) to fake a noise complaint and shut it down, causing a riot. All parties agree to settle the matter by having a mock trial of rock ’n roll on the 3 O’Clock Hop. My favorite part is when Joyce is presenting her case and says very seriously, “What I’m about to show you is shocking. This… is grinding.”
Maybe it’s a stretch to lump this in with the other comedies, it’s barely funny, but certainly not meant to be real serious either. It’s definitely more fun than the other movies I wrote about, though, with lots of dancing and singing, colorful sets (many on pleasingly artificial looking soundstages), energetic camerawork, and a knowingly simplistic but sincere and indisputable partisanship for youth movements, abstract artists, rock ’n rollers and rebels over scolds, prudes and tight asses. To the white grown ups it’s partly racism, but Sireena (Baldwin)’s mom (Jenifer Lewis, also in CORRINA, CORRINA and RENAISSANCE MAN this summer) doesn’t approve of rock ’n roll either. She tells her she can sing in the church, like Mahalia Jackson and she says “I don’t wanna be Mahalia Jackson. I wanna be like Fats Domino!”
(All the kids idolize Fats Domino, who actually appeared in the original 1964 version.)
One of Susan’s songs starts out, “I could cook and make the beds / I’m gonna rock ’n roll instead.” The moms can’t allow their daughters to go down that path, so they rig the outcome of the trial, banning rock from the TV station and putting Danny in jail. Susan is so disgusted by the verdict that that night she puts a leather jacket on over her party dress, paints “AWOP BOOPALOO BOPAWOP BAM BOOM” on her bedroom wall, and leaves town on the back of Lucky’s motorcycle saying “Cookie, we’re desperate. Get used to it.” And that’s the end! Except it says “NOT THE END” and after the credits The Sirens are negotiating a record contract. That’s actually the preferred outcome, if it’s a good deal. And I’m sure Susan was drifting from town to town, painting portraits and helping people by rocking.
Nothing against Mandel, but it’s kind of hard to accept him as the coolest guy in the room, with the pompadour and Ray Bans, and also as the righteous crusader who passionately stands up to racism, saying “They’re part of our community, man!” However, I think babyfaced future Oscar winner Zellweger is very good in this. I haven’t always liked her in everything but she does a comical naivete here that totally works, and throws herself into the dancing. I thought she was really singing one of the songs, too, but another one definitely doesn’t sound like her voice.
This type of nostalgia was familiar well before summer of ’94, so it’s nothing new, but if you compare it to FORREST GUMP it leans much more Jenny than Forrest. It knows that sometimes you should not listen to your mama. I can’t say I found this one consistently entertaining, but it’s cute and has a good attitude. Definitely a step up from those other ones. Until further notice I declare SHAKE RATTLE & ROCK! king of the August ’94 comedy dump.
August 27th, 2024 at 11:16 pm
IN THE ARMY NOW is the kind of dumb comedy that I enjoy to a degree. This particular movie isn’t really an all time favourite (Haven’t seen it in at least 15 years), but…it did its job of entertaining me for 90 minutes.
Don’t have anything to say about the other two, except that BLANKMAN was released as BLÖDMAN (=Dumbman) over here.