"CATCH YOU FUCKERS AT A BAD TIME?"

Posts Tagged ‘Robert Folk’

Theodore Rex

Wednesday, July 8th, 2026

July 2, 1996 (in video stores)

Until now I had never seen THEODORE REX. Obviously I always intended to see it – I’m not a heathen. But I took my time, and also I always got it confused with TAMMY AND THE T-REX. Thankfully this Slam Evil Summer series gave me motivation to finally see it, so now I know what it’s all about, at least to the extent that one can know that just from watching it.

I need to come up with a name for this type of movie. It’s most similar to SUPER MARIO BROS., which also has dinosaurs and cyperpunky stuff, so I’m kinda thinking DinoPunk, Dino Noir, something like that. But they’re fantasy world-building movies, usually set in a dystopian future or alternate world, they’re usually sold as kids movies and have some aggressively juvenile humor (often perpetrated by buffoonish henchmen with wacky voices) but otherwise don’t really seem like they’re made that much for kids (like, this one has a murder investigation complete with dinosaur autopsy). Also for some reason they tend to feature souped-up garbage trucks. But the most distinguishing feature is that they’re a big mess that seems full of the sort of colorful gimmicks and special effects I love (matte paintings and huge soundstage sets depicting stylized cities, animatronic creatures) but none of it really coheres and the whole thing is a slog. (read the rest of this shit…)

Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , ,
Posted in Reviews, Family, Science Fiction and Space Shit | 12 Comments »

In the Army Now /Blankman / Shake, Rattle & Rock! (August ’94 Comedy Dump)

Tuesday, August 27th, 2024

I don’t review that many straight up comedies, but sometimes it works out in these summer retrospectives, since there’s usually something to be said about them as time capsules and how their themes compare or contrast to other films of the season. After all, this series started with SERIAL MOM, and that’s one of the best movies of the summer. PCU wasn’t good, but it had some interesting things to analyze. Sometimes it’s worth my while.

But here we are in August, with its reputation as a dumping ground for shitty movies, and the ones I’ve been watching haven’t dispelled that notion. None of these felt like enough to write about on their own, but hopefully in the aggregate they might be worth reading about? I don’t know. I trust you to make your own decisions on that.

I am not up on the works of Paulie Shore, but I went into IN THE ARMY NOW (released August 12th) with an open mind. It starts with the sound of Bones (Shore) saying something about “pilgrim” in a John Wayne voice (always, always, always funny, I’m sure we all agree) and then bickering with his buddy Jack (Andy Dick, DOUBLE DRAGON) as they play a video game about tank warfare. It turns out they’re doing this while working their shifts at an electronics store called Crazy Boys in Glendale. Bones is about to get fired, then briefly averts it when his girlfriend (Fabiana Udenio, BRIDE OF RE-ANIMATOR) pretends to be a customer buying an expensive TV from him, but the boss finds out the scam because he tries to have sex with her in the back and Jack uses one of the video cameras to broadcast it on the wall of TVs. (read the rest of this shit…)

Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,
Posted in Reviews, Comedy/Laffs | 29 Comments »

Rock-a-doodle

Monday, March 8th, 2021

Let me give you a behind the scenes on the making of this review series: I had been meaning to revisit HEAVY METAL for a million years, and one day when I had kind of an itch for that weird vibe of early ‘80s animated fantasy I finally did it. Then I thought hey, I should also watch AMERICAN POP again, that would make a good review pairing. And then I thought hey, I’ve always wondered what was up with that ROCK & RULE movie, it could be a series. And then late in the game I thought “Oh shit, that would be funny to end on ROCK-A-DOODLE! I finally have a reason to watch ROCK-A-DOODLE!”

Obviously this one is really different than the others. It turns out it’s not much about rock ’n roll, and I already knew it wasn’t trying to be adult or edgy like the other ones. That’s not why I skipped it in 1991 – I wasn’t opposed to watching G-rated animation. It was the year of ROVER DANGERFIELD, after all! Just kidding, I didn’t watch ROVER DANGERFIELD. Until later. But BEAUTY AND THE BEAST was that year and it was nominated for best picture, so this was pretty much the exact moment in the U.S. when the “adults don’t watch animation” attitude was starting to get pushed back.

It’s directed by Don Bluth, mentioned previously in this series as one of the Disney-influenced alternatives to Disney in the ‘80s. In fact, he was an offshoot: starting as an assistant animator and moving up to directing animator, he worked on SLEEPING BEAUTY, THE JUNGLE BOOK, ROBIN HOOD, THE MANY ADVENTURES OF WINNIE THE POOH, THE RESCUERS, PETE’S DRAGON and THE FOX AND THE HOUND. But later in that run he felt so strongly that the Disney movies weren’t living up to the classical animation legacy of Walt and the generation of artists he’d learned from that he and some of the other animators gathered at his house in their off hours to make an independent short, Banjo the Woodpile Cat, from an idea that the studio had rejected. (read the rest of this shit…)

Tags: , , , , , , , , , , ,
Posted in Cartoons and Shit, Musical, Reviews | 24 Comments »

  • Hey bud, thanks for reading.

    Don't feel obligated, but here are some

  • WAYS YOU CAN SUPPORT THE SHIT OUT OF VERN & OUTLAWVERN.COM

    if that's your thing:

  • 1. Patreon

    Toss me a couple bucks a month, support the good shit, also get access to a bunch of exclusive writing. This is my primary source of writing money that has allowed me to cut down to part time at the day job. Thank you!

  • 2. Buy my books from your local bookseller or somebody

    click here for my Amazon author page

    (NOTE: My ten year contract has passed on the Titan books, so I don't get residuals on them like I do WORM ON A HOOK and NIKETOWN, but I would love for you to read them because I'm proud of them)

    EXTRA CREDIT: Review them on Amazon! That would really help me out. Unless you didn't like them, in which case forget I said anything.

  • 3. If you ever buy from Amazon, go through my links or search engines



    (you pay the same amount you were gonna pay anyway they cut me a little slice)

  • I also have an Amazon UK one:

    (I can't get the search box widget to work anymore, so click on MOONWALKER and then search for what you want.)

  • 4. My exciting line of fashion and leisure products

    (I get a couple bucks per item, you get a cool t-shirt, mug or lifestyle item)

  • 5. Spread the word

    Tell your friends about my reviews and my books and everything. Only cool people though please, we don't need a bunch of suckers and/or chumps around here.

    THANKS EVERYBODY. YOUR FRIEND, VERN

    * * * *

  • Recent commentary and jibber-jabber

    • Franchise Fred on Kazaam: “So Kazaam vs Steel, Vern?” Jul 29, 18:43
    • Gary Anderson on Trekkies: “So, Wikipedia says that this is what that nerd kid did next: “As a VFX artist, he fulfilled his lifelong…” Jul 29, 15:39
    • Alex R on Walking and Talking: “Fred, do you think maybe the Mrs. Doubtfire tape was there for thematic reasons, rather than setting verisimilitude ones? Slipping…” Jul 28, 08:44
    • pegsman on Walking and Talking: “In the early to mid 80s I usually had to visit 5-6 video stores to get what I wanted for…” Jul 28, 03:48
    • CJ Holden on Walking and Talking: “I’m trying to remember if my video stores were sorted after anything beyond “new releases” and genre. Sometimes I’m not…” Jul 28, 02:34
    • VERN on Underworld: “The co-writer is a different Danny McBride who is a stuntman. It would be amazing though if the other Danny…” Jul 27, 22:52
    • CJ Holden on Underworld: “It is on my (very short) list of movies that I turned off halfways and never bothered to give another…” Jul 27, 22:04
    • grimgrinningchris on Underworld: “Shemp- Vern’s sight didn’t start allowing comments until like 2009 (or around there) so a lot of reviews from before…” Jul 27, 21:23
    • Mr. Shemp on Underworld: “Huh, I just watched this – and then come to Vern to see what he says, like I do after…” Jul 27, 20:29
    • grimgrinningchris on The Strangers: Prey At Night: “***STRANGERS CHAPTER 1 SORTA SPOILERS*** Vern, since you didn’t review it, I am curious if you saw it (or either…” Jul 27, 19:58
    • Franchise Fred on Walking and Talking: “Maj, in Red Dragon one of the murdered families has a Mrs. Doubtfire vhs. That came out theatrical in 1993…” Jul 27, 18:54
    • Curt on Walking and Talking: “Vern and Majestyk (and anyone else with similar interest in the subject), I heartily recommend Alex Ross Perry’s documentary /…” Jul 27, 15:05
    • deepfriednoir on Walking and Talking: “Fantastic one-two punch of reading about the ugly nerd with poor social skills and then seeing a picture of Kevin…” Jul 27, 14:41
    • Mr. Majestyk on Walking and Talking: “I am incapable of allowing a video store scene to go by without freezeframing to see how many covers I…” Jul 27, 13:20
    • Bill Reed on Walking and Talking: “Tell me more about this ugly nerd named Bill who sucks.” Jul 27, 08:39

  • Recent Commented on Posts

  • Most Comments