THE ITALIAN JOB circa 2003 is a standard issue studio ensemble heist movie, and a really enjoyable one. The director of FRIDAY and the writers of DEEP BLUE SEA put together a good group of likable actors to play the team of expert thieves, they came up with some clever gimmicks for an elaborate heist, and they executed it well with good pacing, light humor, a sense of fun but also a reasonable enough sense of danger. So it’s closer to OCEAN’S 11 where they obviously know what they’re doing but have to put in some elbow grease than OCEAN’S PART 13 where they seem to have super powers and can do absolutely anything at a moment’s notice with no trouble at all. (more…)
Posts Tagged ‘Edward Norton’
The Italian Job (2003)
Thursday, August 12th, 2010
The Incredible Hulk
Monday, June 16th, 2008Listen up Hulkamaniacs -
This new Hulk remake/sequel/do-over/all new adventure starts out with an opening credits montage of flashbacks and headlines to explain his Incredible origin. It’s like the opening to a TV show, setting up what you need to know. So I’m gonna do a TV show opening for this review to: I don’t know the comic strips, vaguely remember the TV show, still love the Ang Lee movie no matter what you say, but was open to and kind of excited about the notion of the goofball director of fucking TRANSPORTER 2 taking over to do the flip side of that coin.
But I got a little worried when I read that Edward Norton had rewritten the script. Uh oh. That means he thinks he’s making the serious Hulk movie. Did he not know about the Ang Lee one? I think he did, because I read that he turned it down. I guess he regretted that maybe. It’s true, Louis Letterier is not in TRANSPORTER 2 mode here. He’s more in DANNY THE DOG aka UNLEASHED mode: a movie with elements of crazy action fun, but that is trying really hard to be a serious drama.
And I didn’t see this coming, but it actually has the same weird story problem that UNLEASHED had: what the hero wants is diametrically opposed to what the audience wants. In UNLEASHED Jet Li played a martial arts expert who was raised as a dog by Bob Hoskins (long story). He wore a collar but whenever it came off him he was mentally programmed to go ape shit and beat the holy living fuck out of anybody in his path. (again, long story.) And then the movie is about how he sort of finds a new family and changes his life and learns to not beat the shit out of everybody when the collar comes off. And it’s kind of sweet and Jet Li gets to do way more acting than almost any other movie he’s been in. (more…)
Death to Smoochy
Saturday, January 1st, 2005I guess you have to be suspicious of a movie made in 2002 that is making fun of Barney. Which was a children’s show that was popular for a while a couple years back. Barney is one of those things that everybody in the world hates, but then some people think they are the only ones who hate, and that they are being subversive by complaining about it. But hating Barney is as unique as liking pizza or chocolate. “No way! You like pizza too? I can’t believe this!” There’s not really anything subversive about connecting a lovable tv icon and murder. It’s old.
I still like this premise though, that since there’s so much money in children’s television, there also must be corruption. So scenariographer Adam Resnick and directator Daniel DeVito paint a portrait of the seedy underbelly of children’s television, where children’s tv stars are caught up in bribery and stalking and murder. The story begins with a great scene where Robin Williams as “Rainbow Randolph” takes a bribe from parents to have their kid featured on his show. The bribe is a suitcase half full of wrinkly ten dollar bills, and Randolph says “You want me to put your little booger eater on my show?” Next thing you know, though, he’s walking out with the money, and the parents pop up with guns and yell “Freeze, cocksucker!”
Then Edward Norton from the 1999 Outlaw Award Winner for Best Fuckin Picture FIGHT CLUB enters as Smoochy, a purple guitar playing health nut rhinocerous. He plays the part as kind of a half imitation of Woody Harrelson. Mr. Resnick, in an interview, described his character as being like Serpico, an ethical person who comes into a world of corruption and struggles to stay on a straight path. Kind of like me I guess also. (more…)
Gangs of New York + The 25th Hour
Saturday, January 1st, 2005For some reason I didn’t expect all that much from Martin Scorsese’s new picture GANGS OF NEW YORK. I’m not really a big fan of period pieces, I’m just as ignorant of history as anybody else who is ignorant of history and I don’t have any opinion one way or the other on “Leo” who plays the protagonist Amsterdam or “Danny” who plays Robert Deniro playing an early gang leader named Bill the Butcher. (You know, the same way Roddy Piper played Kurt Russel in THEY LIVE).
But I guess I forgot about that Scorsese, he knows how to make a fuckin movie. GANGS OF NEW YORK is an archetypal type story of some guy whose dad was killed in a gang battle, he escaped and hid away for many years and then came back for revenge. But you know he’s a cowboy or a samurai or a wizard or some shit so he plans for the perfect time to murder Bill in front of everybody at a big celebration of the anniversary of killing his dad. And in the meanwhile he befriends him, to make it all the easier and all the worse.
BUT WAIT! Along the way there is bonding. You know like a John Woo picture or what have you, of course he ends up having a sort of fatherly relationship with this guy, and this guy starts having a sonly relationship with him. So you got the scene where he saves the life of the guy he’s gonna kill, and the scene where the guy he’s gonna kill finds out he’s gonna kill him and thankfully yells something other than “I treated you like a SON and this is what you do to me, you FUCK ME IN THE ASS?” (more…)
Fight Club
Monday, October 11th, 1999
First of all thanks guys for making my first column a success, by reading it.
Also i’m sorry my sight has been offline I don’t know WHAT the fuck is wrong with geocities.
now every so often there is a movie that comes along that really hits a motherfucker right in the balls and says LOOK AT ME, MOTHERFUCKER – I AM A CLASSIC.
the motherfucker i’m talking about is of course fight club, the new movie by david fincher. david fincher for those of you who don’t know is a director of beer commercials from the ’80s. like beer commercials Fight club is a movie with assloads of style. unlike commercials, this is a movie about NOT buying products, or rather not buying into the idea that material objects are your life. the star is a guy by the name of “narrator” who is kind of a yuppie type dude working at a car company, wearing a tie, traveling around to take a look at burnt up cars.
by the way, don’t read this column if you haven’t seen fith club. id on’t want to ruin it for you. Just go to the bottom and order something from reel.com so a motherfucker can eat.
Now i don’t think i have to tell you this dude narrator is not happy, and that is why when his condo gets blown to shit, he decides to squat in the most fucked up house you ever saw. this is a piece of shit with no water, electricity, tv and falling apart. and narrator is happier than ever because when it comes down to it a nice condo is not worth a fucking penny compared to living life the way you want to.
actually iguess i don’t have to explain it because you guys have already seen it. sorry. So here is what I think. (more…)
