"CATCH YOU FUCKERS AT A BAD TIME?"

Curse of the Pink Panther

August 12, 1983

So far in this series we’ve seen the third STAR WARS movie, the second PSYCHO movie, the thirteenth James Bond movie, the third SUPERMAN movie, the second Tony Manero movie, and the third JAWS movie. (We skipped the second PORKY’S movie, but that also came out, and we looked at the second GRIZZLY movie, which did not come out.) Among all these, one of the least remembered, for justifiable reasons, is the eighth PINK PANTHER movie, CURSE OF THE PINK PANTHER.

Though people my age tend to be more interested in the animated cat character spun-off from the Friz Freleng-directed title sequence of the first movie in 1963, the PINK PANTHER is of course a series of mystery slapstick comedies about the clumsy but accidentally effective French detective Inspector Jacques Clouseau, played by Peter Sellers in THE PINK PANTHER, A SHOT IN THE DARK, THE RETURN OF THE PINK PANTHER, THE PINK PANTHER STRIKES AGAIN and REVENGE OF THE PINK PANTHER. After Sellers died in 1980 the series became an experiment in ways to continue after the death of a star that was 98% of the attraction. (read the rest of this shit…)

August 8th, 2023 | 13 Comments »

Grizzly II: Revenge

Last week we discussed GET CRAZY, a movie about a bunch of bands putting on a concert that was just barely released in August of ’83. Today we’re going to take a look at a 1983 film also about a bunch of bands putting on a concert, but this one wasn’t released at all until 2020, because it was never finished. Technically the thing they released is considered finished, but I’d dispute that description.

GRIZZLY II: REVENGE is officially the sequel to William Girdler’s GRIZZLY (1976). Over the years I’ve stumbled across it occasionally on IMDb when looking up various filmographies – I believe it used to be listed as GRIZZLY II: THE CONCERT and GRIZZLY II: THE PREDATOR – but it said the production fell apart before they finished filming. Little did I know there was an executive producer out there still determined to release it. (read the rest of this shit…)

August 7th, 2023 | 11 Comments »

Get Crazy

August 5, 1983

GET CRAZY is a goofy let’s-put-on-a-show comedy directed by Allan Arkush, with a tone similar to his earlier, more popular ROCK ’N’ ROLL HIGH SCHOOL. It’s another broad comedy and celebration of punk culture, oddly mixed with some blues this time.

Daniel Stern (BLUE THUNDER) stars as Neil Allen, stage manager for the historic Saturn Theater, where legendary promoter Max Wolfe (Allen Garfield, NASHVILLE) is putting on his 15th annual New Year’s Eve concert. But there’s a villain trying to steal his thunder. Younger, more competitive promoter Colin Beverly (Ed Begley Jr., CAT PEOPLE) of Serpent Sounds lands his helicopter in front of the theater, causing various women’s clothes to blow off, and struts in with his two henchmen (Bobby Sherman and Fabian), all three of them dressed in silver. He threatens to take over the lease on the Saturn, causing Max to have a heart attack and his shitty nephew Sammy (Miles Chapin, THE FUNHOUSE) to kiss Beverly’s ass. (read the rest of this shit…)

August 3rd, 2023 | 11 Comments »

Risky Business

August 5, 1983

RISKY BUSINESS is a teen sex comedy best remembered for the scene where Tom Cruise in tighty-whiteys dorkily dances around his living room to one of the least cool songs of the era. But put that out of your mind because the overall style and feel of this movie is one of severe coolness. It’s the only horny teen movie I’ve seen that feels kinda like a distant relative to AMERICAN GIGOLO and AFTER HOURS.

That may largely come down to the score by Tangerine Dream (whose previous movie scores were SORCERER, THIEF, STRANGE BEHAVIOR, THE SOLDIER, and WAVELENGTH), on top of strong work by cinematographers Bruce Surtrees (DIRTY HARRY, THE OUTFIT, WHITE DOG) and Reynaldo Villalobos (URBAN COWBOY), production designer William J. Cassidy (ROCKY, CARNY, ROCKY III) and editor Richard Chew (THE CONVERSATION, STAR WARS). But it also has a different tone and attitude than similar movies of the era. Although writer/director Paul Brickman’s previous screenwriting credits were THE BAD NEWS BEARS IN BREAKING TRAINING and HANDLE WITH CARE, this was his first time directing, and he was welcomed as an exciting new voice. Variety’s review compared the movie to “a promising first novel,” and Roger Ebert wrote that it had earned comparisons to THE GRADUATE. (read the rest of this shit…)

August 2nd, 2023 | 39 Comments »

Daffy Duck’s Movie: Fantastic Island

August 5, 1983

When I do these summer movie retrospectives there’s usually an animated feature or two. I like that because if they’re a classic it’s a good excuse to write about them, and if they’re not it’s a good excuse to watch them. That can be painful, but I find the airballs pretty interesting, because so much loving craft still had to go into them in those days. I enjoyed reviewing ROCK-A-DOODLE, ROVER DANGERFIELD, FERNGULLY: THE LAST RAIN FOREST, TITAN A.E., and FREDDIE AS F.R.O.7, for example.

Most of those were from a weird time when Disney had become so successful it encouraged other studios to take a swing at the animated feature game, with mixed results. But the early ‘80s were that other weird time, the one when Disney had been so far out of the game that it left room for other people to try something different. For example the weird-ass Canadian sci-fi talking animal musical ROCK & RULE came out in April of ’83, and the George Lucas produced cut out animation movie TWICE UPON A TIME came out on August 1st. But I’ve already written about those, so today I’m here to discuss some of their competition. DAFFY DUCK’S MOVIE: FANTASTIC ISLAND was directed by animation legends Friz Freleng and Phil Monroe, which may sound promising, but this is what they call a “compilation film,” or in TV terms, a “clip show.” The new animation is just a framing device for edited down versions of ten classic Looney Tunes shorts. (read the rest of this shit…)

August 1st, 2023 | 18 Comments »

The Star Chamber

August 5, 1983

THE STAR CHAMBER is the most grown up thriller I’ve come across in this 1983 retrospective so far. You can tell because it stars Michael Douglas. As a judge. It’s a crime/vigilante movie with a message about the flaws of the justice system and the temptation to take short cuts toward justice. Kinda like MAGNUM FORCE without the badass shit, but still good. Peter Hyams (between OUTLAND and 2010: THE YEAR WE MAKE CONTACT) directs the shit out of it, and is credited as co-writer with Roderick Taylor (a recording artist turned rookie screenwriter who explored related themes many years later in THE BRAVE ONE).

It takes place in L.A., with a great L.A. atmosphere. It opens around 6 am one sunny morning when two undercover cops decide to follow a suspicious pedestrian, who notices them and takes off running. They see him ditch something in his garbage can as he runs into his house, and are aware they can’t search it without a warrant, but decide to wait until a garbage man dumps it in his truck, and then search the truck. (read the rest of this shit…)

July 31st, 2023 | 7 Comments »

Krull

On July 29, 1983, the same day Luis Bunuel died, and two days after the release of Madonna’s debut album, Columbia Pictures released their entry in the “if you liked RETURN OF THE JEDI…” sweepstakes, KRULL. With the resources of a studio behind it, KRULL was able to be bigger than most of the other also-rans, having double the budget of SPACEHUNTER: ADVENTURES IN THE FORBIDDEN ZONE, for example. It even got a release in 70mm. It boasts a new score by James Horner that sounds kinda like BATTLE BEYOND THE STARS, instead of re-using the actual score from BATTLE BEYOND THE STARS like SPACE RAIDERS did. Notably it has the same cinematographer as THE EMPIRE STRIKES BACK, Peter Suschitzky. Editor Ray Lovejoy is the guy who did 2001: A SPACE ODYSSEY. So it’s quite a crew here.

The director is Peter Yates (BULLITT, THE HOT ROCK, THE FRIENDS OF EDDIE COYLE, MOTHER, JUGS & SPEED, THE DEEP), one of the many British directors George Lucas had considered for RETURN OF THE JEDI. Screenwriter Stanford Sherman was a TV guy (Man from U.N.C.L.E./Batman) but had done ANY WHICH WAY YOU CAN. Unfortunately he did not include a punching orangutan in this one. Could’ve used one, to be honest. (read the rest of this shit…)

July 28th, 2023 | 27 Comments »

Mr. Mom

July 22, 1983

MR. MOM is a domestic comedy with a likable performance by Michael Keaton and a dated premise. The screenplay is credited to John Hughes, the National Lampoon magazine humorist who had started a career in movies by writing NATIONAL LAMPOON’S JAWS 3: PEOPLE 0, to be directed by Joe Dante. Steven Spielberg threatened to never work with Universal again if they really went through with that shit, and they ditched the project, making way for the hated but not parodic JAWS 3-D. So instead Hughes’ first screenplay credit ended up being NATIONAL LAMPOON’S CLASS REUNION, and this was his second (beating NATIONAL LAMPOON’S VACATION by a week). It was directed by Stan Dragoti (LOVE AT FIRST BITE).

Keaton (in his fourth movie, between NIGHT SHIFT and JOHNNY DANGEROUSLY) plays Jack Butler, an engineer at the Ford Motor Company in Detroit. But the economy isn’t good, cars aren’t selling so well, so one day after commuting to work with his friends “Jinx” Latham (Jeffrey Tambor, SATURDAY THE 14TH), Larry (Christopher Lloyd, SCHIZOID) and Humphries (Graham Jarvis, THE HOT ROCK), Jinx calls the other three in to his office to tell them they’ve been laid off. (read the rest of this shit…)

July 27th, 2023 | 9 Comments »

Mission: Impossible – Dead Reckoning Part One

MISSION: IMPOSSIBLE DEAD – RECKONING PART ONE is a top shelf spy action blockbuster. There’s plenty for people to quibble with about how it compares to its six predecessors, but to me it’s another strong variation on and evolution of a series that has managed to go for 27 years and still feel special each time out.

After only a few weeks of release, conversation in movie lover world has already moved on, except to note that DEAD RECKONING is unlikely to make back its huge budget in theaters. I’ll be sure to send a sympathy card to the bean counters, but I appreciate this case of a movie going overbudget to (on top of COVID delays) allow leeway for the filmmakers to tinker with it and take the time to try to meet their enormous ambitions. Director/co-writer Christopher McQuarrie has a weird, partially improvisatory way of building these that other filmmakers shouldn’t copy, but it sure seems to work better than rushing everything to meet a deadline.

Part of the magic of these movies is their mixture of simple and complicated. They’re simple enough that they can advertise this as the one with a motorcycle jump and a train crash and know we don’t need more than that. And boiled down the premise is as simple as that a nefarious A.I. known as “The Entity” has infiltrated all databases around the world, including the entire knowledge base of every intelligence agency, threatening to mix it all with bullshit to destroy our whole civilization’s understanding of reality, so various parties are fighting over two literal keys they believe lead to the only way to get at The Entity. Everyone wants to control it, except Ethan Hunt (Tom Cruise, LOSIN’ IT), who wants to destroy it. (read the rest of this shit…)

July 26th, 2023 | 52 Comments »

Extraction II

disclaimer: I support the WGA and SAG-AFTRA strikes and I think Netflix is the primary instigator of the current problems in the movie industry. I believe they used venture capital money to run an unsustainable rent-by-mail service until most video stores were out of business, then pivoted to streaming on a model that requires not paying artists their fair share. And then all the studios jumped in after them, so it’s a bunch of business asshole CEOs trying to last as long as they can without admitting to their stockholders that they fell for a scam and have no way out except to rebuild streaming in a totally different way that doesn’t fulfill Wall Street’s insane lust for preposterous growth. They fucked themselves over, which is fine, but they also fucked movies over, which is unforgivable.

That said, the bastards occasionally spend some of their plunder on making good movies, including EXTRACTION II. Please enjoy my review!


I’m a busy man and/or a slowpoke, so I took my time finishing this review. But don’t let that give you the wrong idea: I watched EXTRACTION II (on screen title: EXTRACTIION) the first day it was on Netflix, I’ve rewatched it since, and I’m sure it will be one of my favorites of the year. I’m a fan of the first one – one of the most legit American made-for-streaming action movies – but the sequel is even better. Once again directed by former Captain America stunt double, UNLUCKY STARS villain and ATOMIC BLONDE choreographer Sam Hargrave, it’s a movie made for those of us who appreciate a good old fashioned, straight ahead movie star action vehicle, made with the impeccable craft of the best stunt geniuses, the luxury of theatrical-worthy production value, and a refreshing lack of smart assy, winky-winky bullshit. There’s a little joking around between comrades, but it takes its subject very seriously. Its subject is a guy who is awesome doing awesome shit while going through some shit. I think it would be a good one of these even if they weren’t so rare these days. (read the rest of this shit…)

July 24th, 2023 | 90 Comments »

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