Archive for the ‘Crime’ Category
Friday, December 7th, 2001
When you get two Oscar nominations for best director in the same year (for Erin Brockovich and Traffic) and you’re at the commercial peak of your career, what do you do for a followup?
I think Steven Soderbergh has the right answer. Two Oscar nominations is nothing to commit suicide over. Sure it’s embarassing, but it’s not the end of the world. After all it was only one year earlier that his picture The Limey won Best Picture, Musical Comedy or Badass in the 1999 Outlaw Awards, and that magic could not be entirely faded. So Soderbergh packed up the political pretensions, left them out on the porch in a box marked for the retard center, and went and made a casino heist movie. (read the rest of this shit…)
Tags: Brad Pitt, George Clooney, Matt Damon, Steve Soderbergh
Posted in Comedy/Laffs, Crime, Reviews, Thriller | No Comments »
Monday, December 3rd, 2001
Last time we spoke I found that the best way to forget about the nightmarish USA P.A.T.R.I.O.T. Act – which is designed to protect freedom and democracy by, among other things, allowing police to enter and search your house without probable cause, warning or even notification after the fact – was through the delights of French Cinema.
As you know the french are very romantic, very beautiful, full of whimsy and what not. The French always know how to make you smile, like they did with AMELIE, or MR. HULOT’S HOLIDAY, or those musicals with the umbrellas and etc.
For example they got this movie called SEVEN DEADLY SINS that I just discovered. Anyone who has read my works thoroughly knows of my admiration for the director Roger Vadim, who married Jane Fonda, Brigitte Bardot and Catherine Deneuve. Also, his movies were pretty good.
Vadim is most famous for BARBARELLA, and then for SPIRITS OF THE DEAD, the edgar a. poe anthology picture he did a segment of along with whatsisname, the frenchy, as well as godard, malle, fellini, and etc. etc. SEVEN DEADLY SINS is another one along the lines of SPIRITS but this one is in black and white and has the, you know, the seven deadly sins theme. Seven segments, seven sins, all french. (read the rest of this shit…)
Tags: anthologies, Jean-Luc Godard, penetration, Roger Vadim
Posted in Comedy/Laffs, Crime, Reviews, Thriller, Vern Tells It Like It Is | 1 Comment »
Friday, November 2nd, 2001
Hey folks, Harry here with the latest from that insane man… VERN. Vern comes from another planet…. or so I’ve heard. They apparently herd sheep into trailers there. He’s using this grazing ability to sum up the cornstalkability of this latest film from the Coens…. Here ya go…
THE MAN WHO WASN’T THERE
by Vern
Monday I saw the new movie by the Coen Brothers.
First I gotta say, I am not exactly familiar with these brothers. The hughes brothers I know. The wachowski brothers. The Maysles brothers. The doobie brothers I know a thing or two about. For example, they have two drummers don’t they? I don’t know. The point is, you know more about the coen brothers than I do. Are they twins? I don’t know. Maybe they aren’t really brothers, it is only a stage name like the blues brothers, the smothers brothers or the isley brothers. The point is, I wouldn’t know. Because I know jack shit about them, if jack shit was two things. (read the rest of this shit…)
Tags: Billy Bob Thornton, Coen Brothers, Frances McDormand, James Gandolfini
Posted in AICN, Crime, Drama, Reviews | No Comments »
Friday, October 19th, 2001
Maybe I mentioned that I’ve been on a documentary kick. I mean I’ve been watching the works of documentationists left and right. Not just BIGGIE AND TUPAC, but all the Maysles brothers direct cinema shit, Pumping Iron, Hoop Dreams, you name it. If it’s a documentary, and I’ve seen it, then I’ve seen it lately. But as great as some of these movies are, only some of them are greater than 2000’s Outlaw Award Winning picture AMERICAN PIMP by the Hughes Brothers. This is the definitive pimpumentary, I don’t care what you say about PIMPS UP, HOES DOWN it’s no AMERICAN PIMP.
The Hughes brothers are identical twin brothers who look the same. Because they are identical twins. Other than that, they seem very down to earth. They got alot of attention very fast with the huge success of their first picture, MENACE II SOCIETY which basically started the whole “young black director makes first low budget movie about life in the hood” thing back in the ’90s. They followed that up with the underrated heist/Vietnam movie DEAD PRESIDENTS, which got bad reviews and which they disavow on every subsequent dvd release. (read the rest of this shit…)
Tags: Heather Graham, Hughes Brothers, Ian Holm, Jack the Ripper, Johnny Depp
Posted in Comic strips/Super heroes, Crime, Horror, Mystery, Reviews, Thriller | 3 Comments »
Wednesday, July 25th, 2001
To: harry@aintitcool.com
From: outlaw_69@my-deja.com
Cc: moriartyaicn@yahoo.com
Date: Wed, 25 Jul 2001 00:35:48
Subject: Vern sees BROTHER
——————————————————————————–
Dear Harry and the boys,
My name is Vern and I am a scholar of the Badass Cinema. I take my job very seriously and I would stake my entire academic reputation on this here claim: Takeshi Kitano is a Badass Laureate.
For those of you who are not familiar with Badass theory, the Badass Laureate is the highest category of Badass. There are many Badass individuals who have proven themselves through their works. I’m talking about gentlemen like Jet Li, Dolemite and Chow Yun Fat. Like Lee Marvin and James Coburn and Toshiro Mifune.
I’m a fan of the Bruces (Willis, Campbell and Lee). I enjoy asskickers of all types and nationalities. But none of these guys are Badass Laureates. (read the rest of this shit…)
Tags: Badass Laureates, Takeshi Kitano
Posted in AICN, Crime, Drama, Reviews, Thriller | No Comments »
Saturday, June 30th, 2001
Baby Boy is the underrated new picture by young Johnny Singleton, the director of Shaft 2K who was also the youngest fella to ever get nominated for a best director oscar. That was for Boyz N the Hood, and what makes Baby Boy interesting is that it is a companion piece to that movie, telling the story of thugs and gangstas in South Central Los Angeles. But now Singleton is older and he sees things differently. So instead of portraying these thugs as a menace to society, he portrays them as a bunch of fucking babies who need their mommies.
The main character is Jody, who is played by a model named Tyrese. He is bald and muscled, like what Singleton wishes he looked like. But he drives his girlfriend’s car or, when necessary, rides a bike. And he lives with his mom, even though he has two different babies from two different mamas. (read the rest of this shit…)
Tags: John Singleton, Omar Gooding, Snoop Dogg, Taraji P. Henson, Tyrese, Ving Rhames
Posted in Crime, Drama, Reviews, Romance | 1 Comment »
Friday, June 22nd, 2001
There are many arbitrary ways to divide filmatists into two groups. Today I’m gonna separate out the ones who have an obvious vision/theme/style/obsession (good or bad) that can be seen throughout most of their works. For example you can look at your Alfred Hitchcock or your David Lynch or your Roger Vadim and you can usually tell who is responsible for this business. I mean even a Michael Bay or a Kevin Smithee, the lowest of the low, has a signature style. Or you can at least see what the dude was going for there.
Then in the other group we have the commercial or “hack” filmatist who goes from one project to the next just looking for something that might be successful, or that seems cinematic, or that might capture that fuckin zeitgeist thing the germans are always so interested in. Some of these guys might even be decent at the directation of films but they just don’t put that strong of a personal stamp on them. For example you got your John Badham (Saturday Night Fever, Dracula [1979], Short Circuit, Point of No Return) or your Randal Kleiser (Boy in the Plastic Bubble, Grease, The Blue Lagoon, Big Top Pee-Wee, Honey I Blew Up the Kid). Occasionally they make a good picture like Saturday Night Fever but you still have no idea what these clowns are trying to do artistic-wise. They’re just doing a job, like plumbing or washing windows or passing out pizza coupons and gum samples on the street corner. They punch the clock and then they go home. (read the rest of this shit…)
Tags: based on a magazine article, Michelle Rodriguez, Paul Walker, Rob Cohen, Vin Diesel
Posted in Action, Crime, Reviews, Thriller | 7 Comments »
Thursday, June 14th, 2001
Hey folks, Harry here with that sick bastard Vern and his fascinating look at that sick bastard, ED GEIN… well, technically it focuses on that Steven Railsback film that we premiered at BUTT-NUMB-A-THON 2 last year as the ender… The film is definitely not for all tastes, but for those with an eclectic bite… well, it hit the spot. Here’s Vern… a cousin of some sort to Moriarty (20 times removed I believe)…
Hey boys I got a new one for you. There is a movie coming to video called ED GEIN, about this sick fuck named ED GEIN. If you like movies about a guy running around in the moonlight howling and beating a drum and wearing a lady’s privates for his clothes, then this is the movie for you. But more about that later. (read the rest of this shit…)
Tags: biography, Chuck Parello, Steve Railsback
Posted in AICN, Crime, Drama, Reviews | No Comments »
Monday, February 5th, 2001
Hey, everyone. “Moriarty” here with some Rumblings From The Lab.
If you haven’t checked out VERN’s website yet, follow the link at the bottom of his story. He’s a serious sumbitch, and he deserves your attention. And, no, he didn’t threaten to shank me unless I gave him a good intro. With a pen this sharp, who needs a toothbrush with a razor melted into the tip?
Hey boys it’s me, Vern. Remember I am the ex-con who has done a couple reviews for you, etc. I Write in the vernacular and then about 75 people complain about it in talkbacks. But as an acclaimed Writer on the films of Cinema I THINK a motherfucker knows what he’s talking about. (In this case me being the motherfucker.)
So I haven’t been in touch with you boys in a while but here’s what’s up. I got hold of a copy of THE CROW: SALVATION which is part 3 for the Crow series. Miramax made this picture and dumped it off in one theater in Spokane, Washington or somewheres. Nobody and their mother saw it so they said, forget it, straight to video for this one. There was some Crow fans on the internet trying to start a petition or something but, fortunately, they failed. (read the rest of this shit…)
Tags: Bharat Nalluri, DTV, DTV sequels, Eric Mabius, Fred Ward, Kirsten Dunst
Posted in Action, AICN, Crime, Fantasy/Swords, Reviews | 12 Comments »
Monday, January 1st, 2001
Well this is one of those pictures you would call a hitchcockian type thriller, and yes that is named after Alfred Hitchcock. But one difference is that this is NOT directed by Hitchcock, it is the director debut of Mr. David Mamet.
In the opening scenes the acting is kind of stiff and everything is kind of dull and I was thinking of watching something else. But as soon as the story kicks in you see that that is to illustrate that this lady psychologist who is the main character, her life has grown banal and she is in need of adventure. Her everyday job scenes are almost draining they are so dull while the rest of the movie is full of suspense. One of her patients tells her what does she know, she hasn’t experienced anything. And through his gambling problem she goes and decides to thrust herself into some real experiences. She goes to a small bar called “house of games” (get it, that is also the title of the movie, house of games) where she meets a gambler named Joe Montegna. I mean that is the actor’s name anyway. (read the rest of this shit…)
Tags: cons, David Mamet, filmed in Seattle, J.T. Walsh, Joe Mantegna, Lindsay Crouse
Posted in Crime, Mystery, Reviews, Thriller | No Comments »
