"CATCH YOU FUCKERS AT A BAD TIME?"

Posts Tagged ‘Shakespeare’

Renaissance Man

Thursday, June 6th, 2024

June 3rd, 1994

RENAISSANCE MAN is a really-not-that-bad inspirational teacher movie directed by Penny Marshall (A LEAGUE OF THEIR OWN) and written by Jim Burnstein (a rookie who later did D3: THE MIGHTY DUCKS). It’s corny in the usual ways but also benefits from the simple appeal of the formula and a more-subtle-than-usual performance by Danny DeVito (ROMANCING THE STONE, THE JEWEL OF THE NILE, BATMAN RETURNS).

He plays Bill Rago, a fuck up in the world of advertising who gets fired after missing an important meeting with out-of-town VIPs. Ed Begley Jr. (last seen two weeks ago in EVEN COWGIRLS GET THE BLUES) appears briefly as his friend Jack who hired him and still cares about him but has run out of jobs for him. While defending him to the boss Jack says “the man’s had a few personal setbacks the last couple years,” and we can infer that one of them is a divorce, but I like that they never elaborate. Maybe it was some weird shit too. We don’t know. (read the rest of this shit…)

Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,
Posted in Reviews, Drama | 23 Comments »

The Tempest

Friday, September 23rd, 2011

tn_tempestTHE TEMPEST is the story of this wizard lady named Prospera (Helen Mirren) who lives on a small island with only her cutie daughter Miranda (Felicity Jones) and her monster slave Caliban (Djimon Hounsou). Also she has a slave named Ariel (Ben Whishaw) who’s like a naked sprite guy (with boobs?) who flits around and does her magical bidding.

She’s got some books and beakers and shit but this is an island made up mostly of volcanic rocks. There’s not much of a night life or anything, it’s gotta be kinda lonely. Her daughter’s never even seen a human man before, what’re they gonna talk about? Rocks? Trees? Beakers? (read the rest of this shit…)

Tags: , , , , , , ,
Posted in Fantasy/Swords, Reviews | 53 Comments »

Titus

Friday, February 11th, 2000

TitusThis seems to be a slow time of year for Badass Cinema. For these last few months we’ve had everybody and their uncle waving their ass around trying to get Oscar’s attention. We’ve had some real quality pictures of course like The Limey and further back Fight Club, the type of pictures that ignore Oscars and Golden Globes altogether and go straight to the more credible awards presentations such as Vern’s motherfuckin Outlaw Awards 1999. And I suppose Bruce has a new one coming out this week where he plays some kind of comedy hitman or whatever, but I gotta be honest it looks like some kind of sitcom shit to me. I might check out this Pitch Black but even that is questionable because judging by what I’ve read about it and the commercials and what not, and based on my knowledge of cinematics, I feel there may be a problem with the mise-en-scene, as far as between the auteur and what I feel is a rather aggregious, uh — well, basically, because I’m broke.

SO, I have been planning very carefully for what my next picture to see in the theater would be, trying to make a decision I wouldn’t regret for the rest of my life, in case I’m broke for the rest of my life. You never know. So anyway a while back I decided on a picture by the name of Titus. Unfortunately many of you won’t be able to see this picture yet because it’s only playing in a few select cities, but then I’m not you so what do I care. Anyway I figured this would get me my money’s worth because 1) it’s only playing at the baddest theater in my area 2) it’s about 3 hours long, which in my opinion gets you more minute of screen time per cent paid for ticket 3) it is from a writer with a very good reputation, William Shakespeare, so it probaly won’t be more of this Scream 3 type of garbage and 4) it is supposed to be Mr. Shakespeare’s bloodiest picture. (read the rest of this shit…)

Tags: , , , ,
Posted in Drama, Reviews | 39 Comments »

10 Things I Hate About You

Wednesday, March 31st, 1999

You know with the year 2000 and everything maybe my new year’s resolution should be to cut down on sex with young women. now don’t get me wrong 18 is my cut off point, I’m not going down again and that’s a fact, jack. But still this may be too young for ol’ Vern and let me explain why.

A lot of gals 18-21, although they are not all teenagers or in high school they still like movies about high school. that time period is still important to them so they enjoy to watch the movies. At first it is just a joke and they watch it with the whole irony type thing and everything but in the end they go “That was actually pretty good.”

Well the problem I have with this is they bring the video over to my house and I have to watch it and that is how I saw 10 Things I hate About You. The gal I believe her name was Katie or Kelly or something along those lines, she says this is based on a william shakespear play. It retells an old story in a contemporary high school type setting and in this respect, according to kassie, it is trying to recapture the formula of the movie Clueless. (read the rest of this shit…)

Tags: , ,
Posted in Comedy/Laffs, Reviews | 4 Comments »

  • Hey bud, thanks for reading.

    Don't feel obligated, but here are some

  • WAYS YOU CAN SUPPORT THE SHIT OUT OF VERN & OUTLAWVERN.COM

    if that's your thing:

  • 1. Patreon

    Toss me a couple bucks a month, support the good shit, also get access to a bunch of exclusive writing. This is my primary source of writing money that has allowed me to cut down to part time at the day job. Thank you!

  • 2. Buy my books from your local bookseller or somebody

    click here for my Amazon author page

    (NOTE: My ten year contract has passed on the Titan books, so I don't get residuals on them like I do WORM ON A HOOK and NIKETOWN, but I would love for you to read them because I'm proud of them)

    EXTRA CREDIT: Review them on Amazon! That would really help me out. Unless you didn't like them, in which case forget I said anything.

  • 3. If you ever buy from Amazon, go through my links or search engines



    (you pay the same amount you were gonna pay anyway they cut me a little slice)

  • I also have an Amazon UK one:

    (I can't get the search box widget to work anymore, so click on MOONWALKER and then search for what you want.)

  • 4. My exciting line of fashion and leisure products

    (I get a couple bucks per item, you get a cool t-shirt, mug or lifestyle item)

  • 5. Spread the word

    Tell your friends about my reviews and my books and everything. Only cool people though please, we don't need a bunch of suckers and/or chumps around here.

    THANKS EVERYBODY. YOUR FRIEND, VERN

    * * * *

  • Recent commentary and jibber-jabber

    • Curt on Night of the Reaper/Random Acts of Violence/Jack-O: “Zack Carlson, co-author of Destroy All Movies: The Complete Guide to Punks on Film (which y’all may remember Vern reviewing…” Oct 30, 16:29
    • Kit on One Battle After Another: “I really didn’t need to see the christmas society rich dude going assassin and becoming a villain Smith and Throckmorton…” Oct 30, 12:51
    • Dreadguacamole on Night of the Reaper/Random Acts of Violence/Jack-O: “The only one of these I’ve watched is NIGHT OF THE REAPER, which… was ok. I agree it’s well-made and…” Oct 30, 12:26
    • Miguel Hombre on The Thing (1982): “Just got around to watching this for the first time in 5 or so years. A few thoughts – I…” Oct 30, 12:03
    • Daniel Strange on Black Phone 2: “I liked this too. I wasn’t planning to see it (I didn’t see the first one), but a friend invited…” Oct 30, 11:02
    • Daniel Strange on It Chapter Two: “Exactly. I couldn’t understand the raves the first movie got, because it threw away anything interesting from the book and…” Oct 30, 10:46
    • Bill Reed on Buck and the Preacher: “Finally got the chance to watch this, and really dug it. Thanks for the rec, Vern. I like– and am…” Oct 30, 05:33
    • Franchise Fred on Night of the Reaper/Random Acts of Violence/Jack-O: “I always confuse Jack-O with the killer snowman Jack Frost (not the heartwarming Michael Keaton snowman dad). But I’ve never…” Oct 29, 22:44
    • Skani on Night of the Reaper/Random Acts of Violence/Jack-O: “I did like the lead in THE JESTER, who had an Elisabeth Shue thing going on, and I thought the…” Oct 29, 19:42
    • Mr. Majestyk on Night of the Reaper/Random Acts of Violence/Jack-O: “I have actually seen all three of these. A Slasher Sweep! I liked NIGHT OF THE REAPER, but I thought…” Oct 29, 18:25
    • Skani on Night of the Reaper/Random Acts of Violence/Jack-O: “I did catch NIGHT OF THE REAPER and found it to be a snooze. I can’t speak for the others.…” Oct 29, 16:39
    • Jules on Wyatt Earp: “I rewatched much of TOMBSTONE the other night for the first time in a few years. Man I love Kurt…” Oct 29, 14:05
    • Steven E on It Chapter Two: “Distinct memory of coming out the cinema completely raging. Loved the first – haven’t revisited it since this released as…” Oct 29, 07:33
    • CJ Holden on Army of Darkness: “For years I was complaining that we don’t get these theatrical showings of classics and cult classics here in Germany,…” Oct 29, 04:17
    • Curt on Army of Darkness: “ARMY OF DARKNESS had a showing this month at my local indie/arthouse theater as part of their annual Halloween series.…” Oct 29, 02:00

  • Recent Commented on Posts

  • Most Comments