"I take orders from the Octoboss."

Posts Tagged ‘Heath Ledger’

Brokeback Mountain

Saturday, December 17th, 2005

For God’s sake man, when I go to see a western there are certain things I expect to see, and certain things I don’t expect to see, and one of the things I don’t expect to see–

Nah, I’m just fuckin with you. Everybody knows that BROKEBACK MOUNTAIN is “the gay cowboy movie.” Or that’s the hype anyway. So first thing’s first, I gotta tell you that the “gay cowboy” description is utter bullshit and if that’s what you wanna see you’re gonna be just as disappointed as I woulda been if I went in expecting THE OUTLAW JOSEY WALES. Because this is not about gay cowboys. It’s about gay sheperds. They herd sheep. They shepherd. They are gay shepherds. Get it straight, America. Cowboys are dealing with cows and cattle and whatnot. If they herd sheep, they are shepherds. In this case, gay shepherds. (read the rest of this shit…)


Friday, August 26th, 2005

Ever since that documentary LOST IN LA MANCHA, Terry Gilliam has a reputation as the bad luck director who can’t finish a movie without the Lord dropping down on him like a bag of cinder blocks. I heard he writes his shooting schedules under a ladder on the 13th day of the month. It’s been what, six years since FEAR AND LOATHING IN LAS VEGAS, he’s been trying to make movies since then but this is the first one to make it to the screen. People figure it’s a miracle if he can shoot a scene that is not interupted by an act of God, let alone finish a whole movie and have it released in theaters. So in that sense, THE BROTHERS GRIMM is a miracle. Because it is a finished movie with credits and everything. They even made a poster I think.

As far as actual entertainment value though it’s maybe a little less miraculous, in my opinion. The main problem: the first hour. A man of my knowledge and insights, I oughta be able to put my finger on it more than that, but all I can say is I was bored as shit for the first half of this movie. Nothing really painfully lame or anything but it’s just not involving and not in the usual Terry Gilliam way where he overwhelms and disorients you with his powerful imagination rays. It looks like a Terry Gilliam movie, it seems like an okay premise for a Terry Gilliam movie, but it just doesn’t click. It’s not funny. It’s not that clever. And takes for fucking ever to get going. (read the rest of this shit…)

10 Things I Hate About You

Wednesday, March 31st, 1999

You know with the year 2000 and everything maybe my new year’s resolution should be to cut down on sex with young women. now don’t get me wrong 18 is my cut off point, I’m not going down again and that’s a fact, jack. But still this may be too young for ol’ Vern and let me explain why.

A lot of gals 18-21, although they are not all teenagers or in high school they still like movies about high school. that time period is still important to them so they enjoy to watch the movies. At first it is just a joke and they watch it with the whole irony type thing and everything but in the end they go “That was actually pretty good.”

Well the problem I have with this is they bring the video over to my house and I have to watch it and that is how I saw 10 Things I hate About You. The gal I believe her name was Katie or Kelly or something along those lines, she says this is based on a william shakespear play. It retells an old story in a contemporary high school type setting and in this respect, according to kassie, it is trying to recapture the formula of the movie Clueless. (read the rest of this shit…)