It always seems to surprise people when I admit stuff like this, but until now I had never seen WYATT EARP. And when I was getting ready to watch it and do this review I worried I was gonna get myself into trouble because it came out six months after TOMBSTONE, and lived and died in its comparisons to TOMBSTONE, so I know everyone in the comments is gonna want to talk about that. And the thing is I still haven’t seen TOMBSTONE either. Yeah, I know. I’ll get around to it.
Initially I thought I should do that first, but then I realized it was a unique opportunity to be the one guy watching WYATT EARP on its 30th anniversary with zero instinct to compare and contrast to TOMBSTONE. I have been preparing three decades to be this specific guy. (read the rest of this shit…)
You remember Rambo, John J. Vietnam vet, Green Beret, POW camp survivor, Congressional Medal of Honor recipient. In ’81, as a homeless drifter, he waged a one-man guerrilla war against the police department of Hope, Washington, wounding several officers, killing police dogs, blowing up buildings and causing one officer to die from falling out of a helicopter. But they let him out of prison for a secret POW rescue mission. Though he earned a presidential pardon, he decided to live in Thailand, living off odd jobs such as stickfighter, temple-builder, snake-catcher or river guide, with occasional missions to help the Mujahideen in Afghanistan or rescue missionaries in Myanmar. But eventually he came home to his dad’s place in Arizona.
It doesn’t seem like it, but that movie was 11 years ago. Rambo has short hair now, wears cowboy hats and runs his (now deceased) dad’s horse ranch. He lives with a woman named Maria (Adriana Barraza, AMORES PERROS, DRAG ME TO HELL), who I guess the photos on the wall indicate was his parents’ maid, and her granddaughter Gabrielle (Yvette Monreal from the El Rey show Matador), who calls him Uncle John and who he says he thinks of as his daughter. (read the rest of this shit…)
Right now, in 2019, people sure do love a good TV series. Some claim that the premium cable and streaming shows are actually better than movies. As TV shows become more cinematic and cinema becomes more serialized, the two mediums seem to be growing into each other like a very respectable rat king. Big name real deal movie stars can star in TV shows or limited series and collect acclaim and awards instead of scorn for slumming it.
At the same time the industry is obsessed with “intellectual property” and franchises, so naturally we’re getting TV shows that prequelize or sequelize a popular movie/movie series. In recent years they’ve done Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles, Tremors, Taken, Transporter: The Series, Training Day, Limitless, Ash vs. Evil Dead, Cobra Kai, Wet Hot American Summer: First Day of Camp and Wolf Creek, and soon we’ll be getting new Star Wars and Marvel tie-ins and maybe Undisputed and all kinds of shit.
From the dawn of 1986 they came…moving stylishly down through the decades. Movies, TV shows, cartoons, struggling to reach the time of the reviewing, when Vern will write about the franchise
That wasn’t how it worked in the early ’90s, though. There had been a few genre shows connected to movies: Planet of the Apes (1974) (and the animated Return to the Planet of the Apes [1975]), Beyond Westworld (1980), Blue Thunder (1984), Starman (1986-1987) and Alien Nation (1989-1990). None of these ran for very long, few are well remembered. TV was lesser than movies, you could never carry over the cast or the production value, and extending a movie series onto the small screen was not really a good bet.
But shit, HIGHLANDER II: THE QUICKENING wasn’t a good bet either. And producers Davis and Panzer, stinging from that loss, weren’t ready to leave the blackjack table. Maybe a TV-sized saga of the Immortals could be more than the Starman of the ’90s. Maybe it could be the M.A.S.H. of the ’90s! (read the rest of this shit…)
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THANKS EVERYBODY. YOUR FRIEND, VERN
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Recent commentary and jibber-jabber
Alex R on Mortal Kombat II: “Is there… a difference? Haha sorry for pushing the envelope, I just can’t help but show people how twisted this…” May 16, 11:46
renfield on Dead Man: “Man that detail on how Neil Young made the soundtrack is so cool. I also heard that RZA tricked out…” May 16, 08:54
Mr. Majestyk on Risky Business: “This is a really edgy argument, Guy Who Time Traveled From 1978.” May 16, 05:07
Mr. Majestyk on RRR: “I’m sorry, the batteries in my sarcasm detector must be dying because I’m not getting a reliable reading on this…” May 16, 05:05
Curt on Mortal Kombat II: “(Other countries, not companies)” May 16, 04:31
Curt on Mortal Kombat II: “Zed, that was an interesting essay, but I was depressed by the author’s assumption that movies are made by “empires”,…” May 16, 04:29
Dan on Risky Business: “I began reading the article and stopped after about the second paragraph. The person that wrote the article made a…” May 16, 03:44
Timo on Mortal Kombat II: “This was so disappointing. It’s not terrible, but not enough of a course correction from the first. McQuoid is just…” May 16, 03:39
Neddy Smith on RRR: “Bollywooders have been making these fight and shoot actioneers ever since the first “Agneepath”, but traditionally Bollywood has excelled at…” May 16, 03:14
Zed on Mortal Kombat II: “Unrelated to MK2 but related to the summer of ’96 series: Vern, I’m not a fan of Independence Day either…” May 15, 23:32
PJ on The Stunt Man: “I couldn’t disagree more about Railsback. He was by far the worst part of the movie. He just simply wasn’t…” May 15, 21:26
Wolfgang Jahn on Talk To Me: “Nobody mentions Colin EGGLESTONs LONG WEEKEND (1978), an abolutely fantastic Aussie outback horror thriller, which remake done in the early…” May 15, 14:01
Wolfgang Jahn on Talk To Me: “Nobody mentions Colin EGGLESTONs LONG WEEKEND (1978), an abolutely fantastic Ausie outback horror thriller, which remake done in the early…” May 15, 14:00
VERN on You Can’t Win (2026): “Thank you! I’m glad to know those IMDB external links are still worth submitting. At the time I posted this…” May 15, 13:32
VERN on Mortal Kombat II: “Thanks for the course-correction-sequel brainstorming. I feel stupid for not thinking of THE SUICIDE SQUAD. That’s a great one. I…” May 15, 13:29