During this year’s October viewing I wanted to revisit a few things that I consider lesser movies from directors I like, that I haven’t seen since they came out decades ago. You know – just to be sure.
I started with a forgotten later one from George A. Romero – his last non-living-dead-related movie, BRUISER. I was disappointed in it at the time, but that was 22 years ago, and I’d had high expectations for it since he hadn’t had a movie in 7 years. There was that gap between his Hollywood stint in the early ‘90s and his return in the new millennium, and it was in the middle of that period that I became obsessed with DAWN OF THE DEAD and KNIGHTRIDERS and everything. So it was a big event when he finally came back with this odd French-American co-production starring a dude from LOCK, STOCK AND TWO SMOKING BARRELS. (read the rest of this shit…)
I don’t usually review comedies, especially straight forward romance/family ones like HAPPIEST SEASON, nor do I plan to do it often. But I thought this was a pretty good one and I decided to give it a shot. Sharpen my skills.
HAPPIEST SEASON is new on Hulu and takes place at Christmas time, but is not specifically about any holiday celebrations. It has received some attention as a high profile romantic comedy with a same sex couple, and of a much higher quality than the ones starting to pop up on Hallmark and Lifetime. Sony/TriStar had actually intended this for a major theatrical release before the pandemic and its supporters fucked up the country. It was directed and co-written by Clea DuVall, who we of course know as an actress from GHOSTS OF MARS, THE GRUDGE, ZODIAC, etc., so it’s a pretty good in-joke when a character’s teenage bedroom is still decorated with a sexy poster of Josh Hartnett (THE FACULTY). (read the rest of this shit…)
ARGO is based on an amazing true story, recently declassified and told in this great Wired article. During the Iran hostage crisis, it turns out, the CIA managed to rescue a group of stranded American workers using an unusual cover story: they were part of a Canadian film crew scouting exotic locations for a STAR WARS inspired sci-fi fantasy epic. John Chambers, the genius makeup artist behind the PLANET OF APES series (and played by John Goodman here), had done “some contract work” for the CIA according to the article (let’s hope he gets a whole series of MISSION: IMPOSSIBLE style thrillers) and helped to set up real Hollywood producers and offices for the fake movie. The now-worshipped-by-nerds comic book artist Jack Kirby (seen only in a cameo here, played by DEATH WISH V’s Michael Parks) provided the artwork that they used as pre-production set and costume designs. (read the rest of this shit…)
One thing about JOHN CARPENTER’S GHOSTS OF MARS: it’s definitely John Carpenter’s GHOSTS OF MARS.
It has plenty of elements that could be perfect for one of his movies. It’s kind of a siege movie like ASSAULT ON PRECINCT 13, although the simplicity of that type of setup is mired in flashbacks and narration. It’s got a western motif – even though it’s in the future and on Mars there’s a train, and colonists possessed by angry Martian spirits take the place of the Natives defending their land. It’s got a ready-made anti-hero – Ice Cube as the bad-but-not-guilty-of-the-specific-crime-he’s-accused-of prisoner-in-transfer Desolation Williams. It has a pretty good soundtrack where Carpenter melds his style with a bunch of rock n roll dudes with electric guitars and drums, playing Martian tribal rock. It has Ice Cube, Jason Statham, Joanna Cassidy and Pam Grier in the cast! This shit should be great. (read the rest of this shit…)
Some of you will wonder why I choose to watch this kind of crap. The answer is because of the French.
This one is from a series of movies made for cable called Creature Features. They have special effecting by Stan Winston (director of A GNOME NAMED GNORM) and are all based on the premises or titles of old movies produced by Samuel Z. Arkoff. They got SHE-MONSTER, DAN AYCKROYD VS. SPIDERMAN and many others. The one I’m waiting for is actually TEENAGE CAVEMAN directed by Larry Clark, the pervert who did KIDS and BULLY and ANOTHER DAY IN PARADISE where the main kid wears his pants so low you can see his fuckin pubes. Jesus, Larry! (read the rest of this shit…)
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Recent commentary and jibber-jabber
VERN on Cop Out: “It’s always funny when these old reviews are preoccupied with some entertainment news/online drama I have almost no memory of…” Jun 18, 14:45
burningambulance on The Last Showgirl: “>> here’s this lady we remember being a punchline and a tabloid target, the swimsuit lady from Baywatch in her…” Jun 18, 13:01
Jerome on Cop Out: “This is one of your best Vern. A real all-timer. Great comments too (and not just coz it’s the only…” Jun 18, 11:50
VERN on Hatchet II: “Good point Jerome, I guess my above comment “I hope eventually a situation comes up where a movie more people…” Jun 18, 08:43
JesseSP on Mission: Impossible – The Final Reckoning: “I think my issue with the movie is best summed up in that flat moment leading to the opening credits.…” Jun 18, 05:26
Toxic on Ballerina (2025): “Not sure about the rest, but my best guess is that the Cult member who goes after Eve is a…” Jun 18, 02:58
jim on Howl’s Moving Castle: “Spot on across the board. You were absolutely right then and now. Great review, Vern.” Jun 17, 23:35
Jerome on Hatchet II: “Adam Green’s gotta be, like, ‘Fuck Art the Clown’, tho, right? And I saw Hatchet II in the theater too.…” Jun 17, 22:09
Stu on Ballerina (2025): “I loved it too, and was relieved it was good after the rumoured revisions. Favourite gags were the bit with…” Jun 17, 16:20
Toxic on Vern Throws A Kick At JCVD!!: “Not sure it’s available anywhere but in France, but KUNG FU ZOHRA by JCVD’s director Mabrouk El Mechri is… interesting.…” Jun 17, 14:47
CJ Holden on The Last Showgirl: “I mean, it is a high profile gig and appers to be of higher quality than a SCARY MOVIE sequel,…” Jun 17, 11:49
Toxic on The Last Showgirl: “@CJ, from the trailer, that NAKED GUN movie does seem surprisingly promising (I mean, if you are into THE NAKED…” Jun 17, 10:56
Charles on The Last Showgirl: “I liked this one as well. There is some shared DNA with BOOGIE NIGHTS. In terms of the ending and…” Jun 17, 09:24
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Glaive Robber on Diablo (2025): “Looking forward to catching this soon. The logic of having a knife-hand under a metal glove seems a little dodgy,…” Jun 16, 22:07
During this year’s October viewing I wanted to revisit a few things that I consider lesser movies from directors I like, that I haven’t seen since they came out decades ago. You know – just to be sure.
I don’t usually review comedies, especially straight forward romance/family ones like HAPPIEST SEASON, nor do I plan to do it often. But I thought this was a pretty good one and I decided to give it a shot. Sharpen my skills.
ARGO is based on an amazing true story, recently declassified and told in 
One thing about JOHN CARPENTER’S GHOSTS OF MARS: it’s definitely John Carpenter’s GHOSTS OF MARS.
Some of you will wonder why I choose to watch this kind of crap. The answer is because of the French.
