"CATCH YOU FUCKERS AT A BAD TIME?"

Lost River

You know, ever since at least THE NICE GUYS, the world has gotten to fall in love with funny Ryan Gosling. He’s a favorite SNL host, he was unmatchable in BARBIE, it looks like he’ll be fun in THE FALL GUY. Even though he’s done serious broody guy movies in between (BLADE RUNNER 2049, FIRST MAN) I think of him as that funny guy now. And sometimes I forget that’s maybe the third or fourth incarnation of Gosling.

I never knew of him in chapter 1, Canadian Child Star Ryan Gosling, but yeah, in the ‘90s he was on The All-New Mickey Mouse Club, he was on episodes of Kung Fu: The Legend Continues and Goosebumps, and did you know he played the title role in a spinoff of Hercules: The Legendary Journeys called Young Hercules? Lasted one season. Otherwise the career went better than Old Hercules.

After the turn of the millennium he was reborn as Adult Actor Ryan Gosling. I never saw THE BELIEVER, but it gave him a grown up career. He did various respectable indies, but he blew up so big in THE NOTEBOOK that there’s arguably a separate chapter of Heartthrob Ryan Gosling.

From director Ryan Gosling

Admittedly I was a late adopter, I didn’t really start paying attention until Quiet Tough Guy Ryan Gosling was unleashed in DRIVE and continued in THE PLACE BEYOND THE PINES and ONLY GOD FORGIVES. It was during that period, in 2014, that he made his writing/directing debut, LOST RIVER, which is in kind of a similar dreamy dark art movie vein.

Gosling doesn’t act in the movie, but the cast includes his DRIVE co-star Christina Hendricks (THE STRANGERS: PREY AT NIGHT), his PLACE BEYOND THE PINES co-stars Ben Mendelsohn (KNOWING) and Eva Mendes (URBAN LEGENDS: FINAL CUT), plus Saoirse Ronan (LADY BIRD), who would’ve been his co-star in THE LOVELY BONES if he hadn’t been fired for showing up having gained 60 pounds without telling Peter Jackson. LOST RIVER makes sense as the directorial debut of an actor who’s been working closely with Nicolas Winding Refn – he even used DRIVE production designer Beth Mickle and costume designer Erin Benach, as well as BRONSON composer Johnny Jewel – but it put me more in mind of Harmony Korine, maybe some Werner Herzog, some David Lynch, and actually some Cronenberg. David or Brandon. Cinematographer Benoit Debie regularly works with Gaspar Noe (including the astounding work on ENTER THE VOID) and Korine (SPRING BREAKERS), while one of the editors, Valdís Óskarsdóttir, did THE CELEBRATION and JULIEN DONKEY BOY. So that’s the road he’s trying to go down, I think. It’s gloomy and surreal but very improvisatory, definitely seems written around the interesting locations, and sometimes people, they found around Detroit.

Bones (Iain De Caestecker, OVERLORD) is a young man who lives in a town outside of Detroit called Lost River, that has been almost entirely abandoned. Most of his neighbors have moved away, and their houses are being demolished. He lives in a crumbling house with his mother Billy (Hendricks) and toddler brother Franky, and is trying to fix up a car to leave town in.

Billy is out of work, victim of a predatory bank loan, and is about to lose the house. One die she learns the guy who talked her into it was fired, and her financial future depends on Dave (Mendelsohn), who’s “been brought in to consolidate some of these branches.” We hear him singing to himself in the other room while she waits nervously in his office. When he comes in he’s hostile and condescending while half-assedly trying to pass it off as blunt but practical. Then he insinuatingly gives her a business card with a supposed job opportunity. A potently despicable figure.

Lost River seems straight up post-apocalyptic. Bones spends his days climbing through abandoned buildings, schools and zoos, hammering through walls and scavenging copper wiring to trade for used car parts, never encountering anybody except when he has to run from a sort of neighborhood warlord named Bully (Matt Smith, MORBIUS) who has declared ownership of the city and patrols around looking for the person stealing his copper. I didn’t recognize Smith at first with his soccer hooligan shaved head and shiny track suit. His toadie Face (Torrey Wigfield) drives him around in a Cadillac convertible with a La-Z-Boy attached to the back for him to sit in like a throne or stand in front of, broadcasting threats and declarations across the neighborhood like he’s Lord Humungus.

Note that Bully isn’t just his descriptive name on the credits – everybody calls him Bully like it’s a normal name.

One day Bones finds the flooded entrance to a tunnel. His girlfriend Rat (Ronan) says it must be “that town at the bottom of the reservoir… they flooded a bunch of towns when they dammed the river.” Her grandma (Barbara Steele, BLACK SUNDAY) used to live there and hasn’t spoken since. Rat says “an evil spell was cast on Lost River, that’s why this whole place feels like it’s underwater too.” I like the dreaminess of this bizarre local origin story that Bones has somehow never heard of. Rat is able to prove it by digging out her 8mm print of an educational film about it.

Bully is a scary dude, especially in a scene where Rat has to accept a ride home from him to distract him from catching Bones. Also when he cuts Face’s lips off with scissors. But Dave is even scarier. Mendelsohn plays him with a simmering menace, nothing over the top, which makes him so much more sickening. It starts with little things like the condescending way he tells her to speak up because he’s deaf in one ear, even when trying to converse with her at the loud night club. And of course he escalates.

But Billy is desperate enough to accept his invitation, which requires a long cab ride to somewhere “closer than somewhere over the rainbow, let’s put it that way.” You fear it’s gonna be some kind of sex work, but it’s weirder – a depraved cabaret where the most popular act is Cat (Mendes), who comes out on stage, dances a little, and is fake stabbed to death, splattering blood on the faces of men applauding in the front. Dave brags that he sets up a place like this “every time I come to one of these town’s that’s imploding.” Seems to think he’s providing an important public service.

Generally when people compare a movie to Cronenberg they mean it has body horror. Not me. I mentioned him because of the side hustle that goes on here, this place’s equivalent of the dancers having to do lap dances (or more) to get the real money. If she’s willing, Billy can go downstairs to “The Shells” – private rooms with transparent plastic body-shaped chambers the women stand inside while a man pays to “let off their frustrations and not worry about hurting anyone.” When she asks if it’s dangerous Cat says “Mmm… if the door’s locked you’re fine. Yeah. Door’s locked you’re good.” Not too reassuring.

I love those sorts of futuristic-ish concepts that seem too bizarre to really happen any time soon and yet very accurate about the sick side of human nature. And then they’re just presented casually like you’re supposed to go “Oh yes, of course. The Shells.”

Sometimes people talk about movies that prioritize atmosphere, mood and imagery over narrative as if that’s an inherent weakness, a mistake, but here it’s part of what the movie is, and what works about it. It’s about those little moments and sights and ideas accumulating into a believable unreality. That approach is often belittled as “style over substance,” and it’s true that style is on display here. The ruins of Detroit drenched in beautiful afternoon sun, the hallways beneath the club drenched in the purplest light you’ve ever seen, surreal images of burning houses and living rooms, all moving to the rhythm of a great soundtrack blending dark synth heartbeats, giallo-theme-licks and haunting old-timey needle drops. (Plus Dave performing “Cool Water” at the club.)

De Caestecker is kind of a blank as Bones. He’s doing a fine job, and if I hadn’t watched Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. I wouldn’t have guessed that he’s Scottish, but any intensity he may have is dulled by the higher voltage performances all around him. That may be intentional and if not I think it works anyway. When you have a dream you don’t focus on yourself, after all. Bones is our avatar in exploring this nightmare concoction of two parts contemporary misery and one part magical realism. It’s full of beautiful wreckage and overgrowth and poetic images (an unmanned burning bicycle, street lights poking out of the reservoir, Franky and Cat smearing a heart shape on the floor with fake blood) but it’s not just random weirdness. It’s grounded by the actual facts of twenty first century America: a place and time where economic and environmental disaster pile on top of cruel exploitation to annihilate what we were told was gonna be our way of life, and we would give anything for some magic cure to it all. That’s the substance within the style.

Let me show you some samples of how nice this thing looks:

And honestly it looks way better when you see how the camera moves.

Also I have a couple of important notes. #1, the star of the Saturday Night Live Papyrus sketch does indeed put his money where his mouth is when it comes to fonts.


#2, apparently some prop house was still holding onto a Red Triangle Circle Gang skull mask from BATMAN RETURNS.


It’s the same mystery as when I noticed the HALLOWEEN III pumpkin mask in that episode of Knight Rider. Did they say “Oh shit, that’s the skull from BATMAN RETURNS, we gotta use that” or just “this skull here should work”? Not important, but I’m dying to know!

This is a movie outside of its time, though marked by being from that part of Gosling’s career, and by the time when Eva Mendes showed up in cool things like this. She was and is Gosling’s girlfriend/partner, and he said she helped with writing and many other uncredited things. Sadly she was unhappy with the roles she was able to get after that, and decided to retire. As of today LOST RIVER is her last acting role other than voicing a yoga instructor on an episode of Bluey.

Otherwise this might as well be new. I was thinking if Gosling came out with a low-narrative art movie like this now that he’s more of a big time movie star people would think he’d lost his mind, but on second thought maybe people would be more open to it. With some exceptions like Ben Kenigsber in the New York Times and Mark Olsen in the Los Angeles Times, most of the reviews were mixed to negative, usually saying it was empty or was just copying other directors (Lynch and Refn were often mentioned). The Guardian’s Peter Bradshaw called it “colossally indulgent, shapeless, often fantastically and unthinkingly offensive and at all times insufferably conceited.” Variety’s Justin Chang, who saw it at Cannes, called it “risible” and said that “trainwreck fascination will go only so far to turn this misguided passion project into an item of even remote commercial interest.”

I suspect there was a belief at that time that Gosling was some vacuous Hollywood meathead, that directing a movie like this could only be a pose, and that he had to be shut down. And maybe now that he’s known more for being a goofball, more people might be open to thinking oh cool, I didn’t know he was into these types of movies. Anyway, one man’s pretentious is another man’s oh, good for him. (I am the second man.)

LOST RIVER is obviously a movie for very specific tastes, but from the reviews I expected something more meandering and unfulfilling. So a decade later it turns out I really dig this one. Good job, old Young Hercules.

This entry was posted on Friday, May 3rd, 2024 at 3:21 pm and is filed under Reviews, Drama, I don't know. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can skip to the end and leave a response. Pinging is currently not allowed.

21 Responses to “Lost River”

  1. I walked out of this movie having absolutely no idea what happened at the climax even though the “this is some incredibly poignant shit, right here” music was telling me I was witnessing some incredibly poignant shit.

    I was very relieved when reviews started getting published and they were saying exactly the same thing, because for about a week, I was wondering if I was too stupid to understand the Ryan Gosling movie.

  2. I haven’t seen this, but as my screen name indicates it is something I’m interested in checking out. Always fun to see the ol’ home town on film.

    But, I didn’t come here to say that. I came here to share a behind the scenes anecdote I’ve heard:

    Apparently, while scouting locations for this, Gosling was checking out abandoned buildings and Detroit and got arrested! Apparently the cops didn’t recognize him and thought he was trying to steal copper. Obviously, everything got sorted out in the end and I suspect those cops felt very stupid once they discovered that no, A list actor Ryan Gosling wasn’t scouring the wreckage of Detroit looking for copper.

  3. Someone should do a movie about a film crew making a fake movie in order to steal copper. Ocean’s 10 or whatever number we’re on now.

  4. That seems like a lot of overhead for not a lot of payoff. It’s like those liquor store hold-ups you see in movies where they spend about $280 in Uzi ammo to boost $350 from the till that then needs to be split four ways. Unless the camera is like a shoebox with a toilet paper tube taped to it I’m really not sure how this caper would be profitable. But I’d definitely watch them try.

  5. Weird. I totally forgot that this existed. And then I thought it was a Refn flick. I’m sure I recorded it from Pay TV back then. Gotta see where it is.

  6. @Majestyk

    Oh, they’d be losing money, but they’re not in it for profit*. It’s all about the thrill. The rush of making people think you’re filming a new Darkman when really you’re taking half a ton of copper off their hands.

    *(except for Nicolas Cage)

  7. Oh, and for the record, I was on Team Gosling since The Believer. So I didn’t think he was a dumb meathead or whatever, and if anything, I sat down to watch this movie more than willing to meet it halfway. But yeah…

    I know people mostly ripped it apart for being derivative, and while they’re not wrong, it ultimately reminded me of Guillermo del Toro at his worst. In that, it wasn’t so much a movie, but a visual representation of it’s creator smoking weed, busting out a legal pad, and making a list entitled “Things I Think Would Be Real Cool in a Movie”.

  8. For a few years, Gosling was one of those guys who got super famous before I actually saw him in anything, so I vaguely resented him until, like Vern, I saw DRIVE and realized everybody was right. The current occupant of this position is Timothee Chalomet, who may be every bit as great as the Zoomers say but at this point it’s clear will never in his entire life make a movie I want to watch so I’ll just have to go on hating him for no reason. That’s just the way it works. I have come to the conclusion that I honestly care less about an actor’s talent than I do about their taste. Most every actor is talented enough to stand there and say lines but very few of them have the wherewithal to be in movies I’d watch without a gun to my head.

  9. It is funny that Gosling presumably cast Matt Smith because he’s a big Doctor Who fan. And that’s also what got me to watch this at the time, though I bounced hard off of it. Maybe my tastes have evolved enough in the past decade to where I’d be more on its wavelength now.

    The Shells definitely have an INFINITY POOL sort of vibe.

  10. Speaking of Gosling, I was thinking of sneaking out and seeing THE FALL GUY today. Leitch has been hit-or-miss for me but I’m a sucker for stuntsploitation and this looks like it might be the last movie of its type ever released in a motion picture theater so I figure I should give it a shot. Anybody see it? Thoughts?

  11. For a few years, Gosling was one of those guys who got super famous before I actually saw him in anything, so I vaguely resented him until, like Vern, I saw DRIVE and realized everybody was right. The current occupant of this position is Timothee Chalomet, who may be every bit as great as the Zoomers say

    Due to me being in charge of taking my niece to see movies her mom won’t allow her to see, I’m a bit more informed about Mr. Chalamet’s career then I ever thought I’d be. And… He’s a really good actor

    Compare that to when The Believer ended, and I turned to my companion and said “That kid is going to be fucking HUGE”

  12. dreadguacamole

    May 6th, 2024 at 9:42 am

    @Majestyk – Literally just got home from the theater. It’s a little bit bloated, a little too impressed with itself, but nowhere near as much as BULLET TRAIN was. A lot of the corny humour doesn’t work, but a surprising amount of it does, and it’s built around a very sweet love story that works because they never really do the whole romantic comedy thing of pretending maybe they won’t get together by the end.
    The cast is very funny, there are some genuinely clever conceits mixed into all the very loud, in-your-face-dumbness, a few cute references (a motorboat chase while the guy wears a Miami Vice stunt team jacket!) and, most of all, some truly spectacular stunts. I liked it a lot better than I thought I would from the trailers (it helps that some of the worst humor there is not in the final movie).

  13. dreadguacamole

    May 6th, 2024 at 9:53 am

    I first noticed Gosling in HALF NELSON, after which I immediately lovefilmed (how did that never become a verb?) THE BELIEVER. I was an immediate convert after that one-two, and was hugely gratified when he hit it out of the park with BLUE VALENTINE. Couldn’t be happier the guy that did ONLY GOD FORGIVES has found so much success.

    Re: LOST RIVER… I did like it when it come out, but other than some specific images like the shells (which, not going to lie, I was reminded of by the review) I can’t remember much of it other than thinking that Gosling had really internalized Windig Refn’s style.

  14. I saw it, and I loved it. I can unequivocally say that it was the best time I’ve had at the movie theater this miserable decade. I haven’t hated everything I’ve seen this decade, but I’ve always had caveats. I come out thinking more about what they got wrong. I’d almost forgotten what it felt like to come out of a movie theater smiling. Feeling refreshed. Transported. Like all was right with the world. Tomorrow I’ll go back to the doom and gloom, but today? Today I saw a movie that made me feel like movies are supposed to make you feel. Tomorrow can get fucked.

  15. I’m so glad to hear that, Majestyk! I liked it too. I’ll review it soon.

  16. Dreadguacamole

    May 7th, 2024 at 1:22 am

    Can’t wait. Guessing you got a huge kick out of the movie-within-a-movie stealth remake…

    @Majestyk – glad you liked it! It is growing on me.

  17. Wait a minute, was it really supposed to be the Jared-Syn movie? I’ve heard people say that and I’m now remembering that the HIGH NOON thing is from that but while watching it I just thought it was supposed to be generic off brand sci-fi.

  18. I also found it confusing that HIGH NOON in no way features a star-crossed romance between individuals on two sides of a war. Gary Cooper is happily engaged and about to get married when an outlaw comes to town looking for revenge, and he has to go it alone because the townsfolk are cowards. That’s the HIGH NOON plot, and it has nothing to do with what we see in METAL STORM. But maybe that’s the joke, that Hollywood assholes just throw around buzzwords and references that they think sound impressive without knowing what any of them actually mean.

    But we all agree that Gosling not being able to get a cup of coffee for the whole movie is a HUDSON HAWK reference, right?

  19. Dreadguacamole

    May 7th, 2024 at 9:53 am

    I honestly don’t remember anything about METALSTORM (it’s in the queue to rewatch someday, maybe).

    But I remembered from the review here that it was vaguely mad-maxy, and the tagline on the poster (it was bad enough to remember).

  20. I first saw Gosling in MURDER BY NUMBERS where I remember being more impressed by Michael Pitt. Afterwards my female friends were gushing about how good looking the actor was and I thought they were talking about Pitt but was wrong, obviously. I had this exact same experience after watching BILL AND TED where I thought they meant Alex Winter. Clearly I have no taste in men.

    Michael Pitt and Gosling both have 47 acting credits on IMDb, coincidentally enough. I have heard of almost none of Pitt’s while Gosling has a pretty diverse and stellar track record. I think after my unimpressed viewing of MURDER BY NUMBERS followed by his annoying starting role in THE NOTEBOOK where every girl in the world would not shut up about him for two years, I had to reevaluate my hatred for the guy after hearing of LARS AND THE REAL GIRL. Anybody who would choose to star in a sympathetic and non-exploitative sex doll love story has to have some offbeat taste and artistic merit, right? Maybe if Pitt had taken some chances, like starred in a movie where he rode a farting corpse like a jet ski.

    Speaking of which, Daniel Radcliffe also has 47 acting credits. And so does Paul Dano! I m beginning to think this must be a glitch on IMDb…

  21. Strange. These four actors all currently have 47 acting credits on IMDb. Clearly a sign, they are the four horsemen of the apocalypse. Repent the end is near!

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