Archive for May, 2002

Star Wars: Episode II – Attack of the Clones

Thursday, May 16th, 2002

STARWARS VOL. II: ATTACK OF THE CLONES

a.k.a. YODA VS. DRACULA

This is a picture that most people already have an opinion on, that will never change, whether they’ve seen it or not. This is only one of those opinions.

First of all, I enjoyed this picture. I laughed at some of the cornball speeches, the sometimes stiff acting, and a couple bad puns. But you know, I can get into this space ‘n robots shit sometimes, and for one main reason: Dracula. As you know from my review of Lord of the Rings Part 1, I enjoy any picture where some dude has a duel with Dracula. This one raises the bar by making the dude be a little green space-elf/Shaolin monk.

There are some good action scenes in here. The story is fun, starting out like some kind of space detective movie, with a murder mystery, an attack in the night, a chase through the big city. Obi Wan even goes to a space-cafe to get information from an old connection. Then it turns into a romance and then a full-on political picture, but more on that later.

There are lots of nuggets for the trekkies. Even ol’ Vern here enjoyed that feeling of the puzzle pieces starting to fit together, connecting this one to the other ones. You’re finding out where Darth Vader came from, where the empire came from, the stormtroopers, the helmet guy, etc. But most of all it answers that question that all americans have asked since the early ’80s: if Yoda is a jedi then where is his space sword?

And he fights Dracula. (more…)

Whoops, that’s right, we DID know there would be terrorist attacks. Our bad.

Wednesday, May 1st, 2002

Hey, remember when I was a paranoid conspiracy nut? And I was saying this ridiculous stuff about Bush knowing about 9-11™ in advance? Not even a year later now and even the mainstream press admits… whoops, if I wasn’t right, at least I was closer than they were.

At the beginning of the Enron scandal the Bush regime said they’d had only a half dozen meetings with Enron. Now that they need to distract us from this one they’re saying at least 60. And who knows how toned down that figure is.

If we can expect the same pattern in the “whoops, we were totally lying when we said 9-11™ was out of the blue” scandal then it’s hard to imagine the horrors they will be confessing to in the coming months.

In case there is anyone out there who doesn’t think these latest revelations are a big deal, let’s take a look. Let’s pretend (even though the very idea is completely ridiculous) that everything they’re telling us NOW is true, and that their sins are no worse than what they’ve already admitted to. And let’s assume, since it’s what most people are assuming and since it’s perfectly reasonable, that they really didn’t know that the hijackers were planning to crash the planes into buildings.

EVEN THEN, we would have to face the fact that, knowing terrorists were likely to hijack planes, the Bush regime did not bother to take the usual precautions that are taken in that instance. On September 11th, there were only 8 air force pilots protecting the entire country, and most of them were weekend reservists, and they were on the ground even after everyone knew that 4 planes had been simultaneously hijacked, an event that has never happened before in history.

Whoops. If not sinister, it was fuckin retarded. If these guys aren’t evil, they’re incompetent, and extremely fuckin stupid, and they cannot be allowed to remain in these offices that they stole anyway. And you wonder why Bush and Cheney announced from the very beginning that it was a bad idea to, you know, try to look into what went wrong. (more…)