I reviewed THE LAST BOY SCOUT (1991) once already, 15 years ago. Though I think I described some things about it pretty well, I was at somewhat of a snooty wiseass stage in my critic’s journey, and I was more dismissive of it than I should’ve been. Despite that I remembered it being a pretty good movie, and I’d been wanting to rewatch it for a while, so this last November, when BWolfe asked in the comments, “Can you re-review this? I feel like you’d give it a much better shake now,” I knew he was right.
(Bruce)
This Joel Silver production is a collaboration/clash between director Tony Scott (coming off of DAYS OF THUNDER) and screenwriter Shane Black (after being replaced on LETHAL WEAPON 2). Those guys making a Bruce Willis movie is about as all-star action as it got in 1991, and had Bruce and Silver known how the release of HUDSON HAWK was gonna go earlier in that year they would’ve been even more eager to sow they could still blow people through the back walls of theaters. (read the rest of this shit…)
RAMBO: FIRST BLOOD PART II was a phenomenon. And an unlikely one. It’s right there in the title: FIRST BLOOD PART II? How the hell do you do a FIRST BLOOD PART II?
Sure, the makers of FIRST BLOOD famously went with the ending where Rambo didn’t die, as he did in David Morrell’s book. But the character doesn’t exactly lend himself to a rousing second adventure. He wasn’t your typical action movie protagonist, a hero who comes along and saves the day. He was a drifter who was mistreated and fought back hard. Went on a rampage. Single-handedly waged a war against law enforcement (one guy died falling off a helicopter), wrecked a whole town, finally broke down about his experiences in the war and then turned himself in. A great movie because of its simple, character-driven story mechanisms, emotional center and excellent, largely internal and physical (and finally blubbering) performance by Sylvester Stallone.
So what’s Rambo gonna do, get out of prison, try to go straight, and get hassled by some other sheriff? Nope. They figured we got a perfect killing machine, let’s plug it in. Let him out for a dangerous mission, a one-man DIRTY DOZEN.
“There was some criticism that I made NASA look dumb in certain places. In fact if you heard some of these asteroid theories of what they are thinking of doing, it just sounds asinine.” –Michael Bay
ARMAGEDDON is Michael Bay’s third movie, but in some sense it’s the one where he revealed his true face to the world. There were plenty of examples of his style and character in BAD BOYS and THE ROCK, but it was ARMAGEDDON that first presented the full breadth of his trademarks: awesome awesome macho bros, pretty pretty sunsets, government employees portrayed as insufferable weiners even though they’re in the right, spinning cameras, haphazard editing all over the fucking place, chaotic mish-mashes of explosions and sparks and machinery and debris and smoke and crap, beautiful shots of people in various locations around the world, weirdly hateful characters presented as cutesy comic relief, an army of highly qualified writers seemingly locked in a cage and forced to duct tape a bunch of dumb ideas into the most unwieldy structure they can come up with that has a running time at least 30 minutes longer than the story has earned, and of course an ensemble of talented actors improvising jokes with no regard for any sort of desired rhythm or tone of storytelling. (read the rest of this shit…)
I meant to see this when it was in theaters in 1988, didn’t get around to it until now. It’s okay. Not worth that long of a wait, but luckily I did other stuff in between.
Treat Williams (THE SUBSTITUTE 2-4) and Joe Piscopo (Saturday Night Live cast, 1980-1984) play two 1980s Movie Cops. Treat is supposed to be the straight laced one, so he wears a suit. Piscopo is the wildman who wears a leather jacket and hits on every woman who appears on camera, because that’s always funny (see also: Jay Leno in COLLISION COURSE). This was after SNL when he got really into bodybuilding, so he also shows off his muscles alot. He’s kind of a cross between a wisecracking Bruce Willis type of character and a crazy Mel Gibson one. (read the rest of this shit…)
Two years ago, I saw and accidentally enjoyed the 2004 movie THE PUNISHER starring Thomas Jane. It was another attempt at a movie version of some Marvel Comics Book which had once been made by none other than Dolph Lundgren. After I saw that movie, I wrote a review (see below), then I looked into the eyes of the universe and I made a solemn vow that one day maybe I would see the Dolph Lundgren version, who knows.
Well today I saw Dolph’s version and I’m here to report that it’s okay. I liked Thomas’s version the best but this one definitely has its moments. Like the 2004 one, this is definitely more in the action movie/vigilante style than some kind of Batman or Superman deal. The main comic book element is that Punisher lives in the sewers and has tunnels to bring him everywhere. Also he has a wacky sidekick who is some kind of homeless guy who always claims to be a theater actor, and who always rhymes. (read the rest of this shit…)
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Recent commentary and jibber-jabber
Stu on Masters of the Universe: “Apparently Adam’s mother is from Earth in the original version’s history, so that aspect feels consistent, and it’s arguably better…” Jan 23, 19:56
Skani on Marshmallow: “Yeah, there was quite a little buzz around this, and I was with it -ish for the first half, but…” Jan 23, 19:21
Stu on 28 Years Later: The Bone Temple: “I think the film does a great job of making Jimmy simultaneously a true believer in what he spouts, but…” Jan 23, 12:21
Stu on The Rip: “I liked this well enough on the first watch. I’ll need to see if it holds up on subsequent viewings…” Jan 23, 12:04
Ska Oreo on The Rip: “I can totally understand why some people might like this: this is a very competently made film, with pretty good…” Jan 23, 06:53
Bill Reed on The Rip: “Not as good as DEN OF THIEVES 2: PANTERA. It’s been a long time since I’ve seen it, but it…” Jan 23, 05:25
Dreadguacamole on Afterburn: “Oof. Watched this last night and I thought it was dreadful. Dumb and not in a good way*, unfunny, poorly…” Jan 23, 03:05
Adam C aka TaumpyTearrs on Trancers: “Trancers has been on my radar for a while, so I took Vern reviewing part 1 and a few weeks…” Jan 22, 23:22
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JTS on The Rip: “Great and thoughtful review. Like zikade, I instantly knew what was happening as soon as Damon started conspicuously whispering in…” Jan 22, 16:12
zikade on The Rip: “Yeah, I enjoyed this, but was disappointed in the ending, too, and other smaller moments that don’t feel “real.” I…” Jan 22, 15:41
VERN on The Rip: “I was wondering about the tattoo. Why would his son ask him that? And on his death bed? It didn’t…” Jan 22, 13:47
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Inspector Hammer Boudreaux on The Rip: “Matt Damon’s character has a tattoo on his hand to remind himself that he will always be the good guy.…” Jan 22, 12:51
Mr. Majestyk on The Rip: “Yeah, I am no longer in the market for this gritty cop bullshit. Movies like this are always about whether…” Jan 22, 12:25
I reviewed THE LAST BOY SCOUT (1991) once already, 15 years ago. Though I think I described some things about it pretty well, I was at somewhat of a snooty wiseass stage in my critic’s journey, and I was more dismissive of it than I should’ve been. Despite that I remembered it being a pretty good movie, and I’d been wanting to rewatch it for a while, so this last November, when BWolfe asked in the comments, “Can you re-review this? I feel like you’d give it a much better shake now,” I knew he was right.
May 22, 1985
Sure, the makers of 
July 1, 1998
ARMAGEDDON is Michael Bay’s third movie, but in some sense it’s the one where he revealed his true face to the world. There were plenty of examples of his style and character in BAD BOYS and 
Two years ago, I saw and accidentally enjoyed the 2004 movie 
