A week or two ago, when I reviewed Lucky McKee’s Lifetime thriller KINDRED SPIRITS, I said I’d watch anything by him because of how much I loved THE WOMAN. But after I wrote that I felt like I was a little full of shit because I knew he did a movie that I hadn’t gotten around to yet. So I got around to it. I watched ALL CHEERLEADERS DIE (2013) on Shudder, but I think it’s also on Tubi, if that helps you to watch along at home.
I know I should’ve watched it a long time ago. I guess I hestiated because the title sounds like a comedy, and it sounds like it’s about a thing that’s not all that interesting long before you get to my age. And he’s only co-director and I thought it was some previous unfinished thing because I remembered that title being on his IMDb profile a million years ago. (read the rest of this shit…)
After discovering 
THE LOST pulled me in right away. On the screen it says “Once upon a time, a boy named Ray Pye put crushed beer cans in his boots to make himself taller.” And to the tune of what sounds like an old rock ‘n roll tune (but is actually a modern song I guess – the time period of the movie is indistinct) we see these boots strutting awkwardly toward an outhouse. Their owner surprises a buxom young girl (Erin Brown, better known as Misty Mundae) on her way out, buck naked. “I thought we were alone out here,” she says, embarrassed. He asks her if she has a cigarette.
NOTE FROM THE FUTURISTIC YEAR OF 2021: When I wrote this review 14 years ago I was so damn close to being ahead of the curve on this movie and some of the issues it brings up. I got why it was interesting and I went off on a long rant on how I felt Lindsay Lohan and Britney Spears were being treated unfairly. I’m proud that I recognized that and wrote about it, but in discussing it I still said a couple mean and ignorant things that embarrass me now. So this review stands as-is as a reminder that life is always learning and progressing and we always have room to grow even when we think we’re ahead.
