Fangoria Magazine is important to me. I’ve been reading it since some time in the ’80s. It covered not only all the great horror movies that have come out during all those years, but also the less great ones. I like that you could read detailed coverage of, like, DOLLY DEAREST or some shit when it came out. I have boxes of old issues and sometimes I’ll remember to go back and see their interviews about, say, HELLRAISER: BLOODLINE, or something and find more details than I could find browsing the internet. It’s great.
Back when people read magazines and loved horror movies enough to read about how they were made, Fangoria had enough money to try crossing over and making some movies of their own, including MINDWARP. To be honest I don’t remember ever hearing of it until I came across it recently on a nice Twilight Time blu-ray. I remember Fangoria Films as a distributor of low budget movies (don’t think I ever watched any of them) but I didn’t realize that before that they had tried to finance one movie per year, starting with this in 1990 (not released until ’92 though), followed by CHILDREN OF THE NIGHT (vampire movie from HELLRAISER II director Tony Randel) and SEVERED TIES (horror comedy with Oliver Reed, Elke Sommer and Garrett Morris in the cast). (read the rest of this shit…)
Here’s a funny thing that was different back in 1995: Bruce Campbell was so worshipped as a cult star that the idea of him being in a blockbuster movie was thrilling to people. He had done the EVIL DEAD trilogy and the MANIAC COP pictures and did a couple seasons of The Adventures of Brisco County Jr. but that didn’t really catch on in the mainstream. And he seemed like their secret but somehow they wanted everybody to know. He made it to the semi-big-ish time with little cameos in DARKMAN and THE HUDSUCKER PROXY, but people still wanted him to star in some big movie and be the next, I don’t know, Kurt Russell or somebody.
And then he was in the trailer for this new Michael Crichton movie CONGO. Had the misguided dreams of horror nerds come true at last? Would they be able to finally share their hero not just with the Johnny-come-latelies who saw ARMY OF DARKNESS before the other ones, but with the whole world?
Well, the fact that the camera zoomed in on his screaming face during the trailer seemed to indicate that he wasn’t gonna make it to the end. Still, word of disappointment spread fast when people saw the movie and discovered that he bites it in the opening scene. The whole movie is about a rescue mission to come find him, even though we got a pretty idea they’re gonna be rescuing a dead body. (They do manage to find John Hawkes still alive, but catatonic, and then he freaks out and dies.) Anyway, I mention this movie to people 20 years later, that’s still the first thing that comes up. The wound has not healed. (read the rest of this shit…)
MANIAC COP is like an ’80s b-movie dream team. William Lustig (MANIAC) directs, Larry Cohen (IT’S ALIVE!) writes, James Glickenhaus (THE EXECUTIONER, THE PROTECTOR) executive produces. And check out this cast: Tom Atkins (NIGHT OF THE CREEPS) is Frank McCrae, a tough NYC lieutenant investigating a murder spree by a mysterious dude in a police uniform. Bruce Campbell, one year after EVIL DEAD 2, is Jack Forrest, a cop who is implicated in the murders and goes on the run to find out who really did it. Hundra herself, Laurene Landon, plays his crimp-haired mistress Theresa Mallory, a fellow cop who helps him in his quest. Richard Roundtree (SHAFT) and William Smith (HELL COMES TO FROGTOWN) are the hardass commissioner and captain. Sam Raimi has a cameo. And also Jake LaMotta, for some reason. And Robert Z’Dar (TANGO & CASH) plays the maniac cop. He’s mostly in silhouette, so his superhumanly giant chin is not as much of a distraction as in some movies.
(Wait a minute… how did Bruce Campbell title his autobiography “If Chins Could Talk Kill” when he co-starred with Z’Dar? He knows his chin ain’t shit.)
Jack gets involved because his wife (Victoria Catlin, GHOULIES, Twin Peaks) notices him sneaking around and suspects him of being the maniac cop. But of course he’s really going to see Theresa. Whoops. Since his wife gets killed by the maniac and left in his hotel room, now it looks like he’s the guy. (read the rest of this shit…)
OZ THE GREAT AND POWERFUL could also be called WALT DISNEY’S SAM RAIMI 3D. That’s what I was hoping to see, and that’s what I got. If it had been a WIZARD OF OZ prequel movie made by somebody not as exciting as Raimi I don’t know that I would’ve even bothered, and it’s not my first choice of what he should be doing now that he’s stopped being a captive of SPIDER-MAN. But it turns out to be a better-than-expected use of Raimi’s time and mine.
Before we get into that I’m gonna say what we’re all thinking: let’s call it quits on these revisionist fantasy and fairy tale type movies now. “What if Alice in Alice in Wonderland was really the chosen one and she puts on armor and leads an army against the jabberwocky” made literally a billion dollars, but it was a moronic idea that was not rescued by Tim Burton’s imaginative visuals. I’ll give the Hansel and Gretel one and the Jack and the Beanstalk one a shot on video, but after that maybe it’s enough now, eh fellas? But they’re into this idea now of the recognizable name that’s not copyrighted. (read the rest of this shit…)
Hey folks, Harry here… Vern sent in a review for a movie I’ve just plum never heard of? From the sound of it, I’m shocked we haven’t. I mean a Bruce Campbell movie left uncovered by AICN? Hey Zeus Morales! Ya know? And with Don Coscarelli, you’d think Quint might’ve reported in, but that lazy bastard’s been holding out on us! Well, no more. Vern here is breaking what can only be a conspiracy of silence at the very heights of the corporate whores at AICN, and he’s breaking that door down to tell you folks for the first time about BUBBA HO-TEP… A film that studios everywhere are conspiring to keep from you. The bastards! Here ya go… Thank Beezlebub for Vern!
Dear Harry,
Like I promised I’m back with more incredibly insightful and well Written SIFF coverage and last night I went to the midnight show of BUBBA HO TEP. I know you guys have already reviewed the shit out of this movie but personally I never read any of those reviews because I was waiting for me to review it. And I sincerely doubt I was the only one. So here it is folks, your very first look at BUBBA HO TEP. (read the rest of this shit…)
Harry here with that drunken hillbilly bastard named Vern. Now this Vern fella went and got himself one of those new fangled rubbery editions of EVIL DEAD. Now ordinarily I would be all against rubbery editions, but this is a rubbery edition that looks like the Book of the Dead… and cooler still, I’m apparently contained inside the Book Of The Dead as is the beer room of the Alamo Drafthouse, beneath the projector room…. whilst showing EVIL DEAD 2! That’s a mighty freaking cool feature to contain in a special rubbery edition. Anyway, I just ordered mine Click here to order your The Evil Dead (Book Of The Dead Limited Rubbery Edition)!!!!
Dear Harry and Moriarty,
Have you ever had a dvd that smelled kinda like rubbers? I have and it was called EVIL DEAD: BOOK OF THE DEAD EDITION from Anchor Bay. What this is is a new fancy ass, show off type version of the old Elite edition of THE EVIL DEAD. It comes in a mooshy rubber Necronomicon package sculpted by Tom Sullivan, who also made the book you see in the movie. You flip it open and it has pages from the Necronomicon (also drawn by Mr. Sullivan) and of course the dvd inside a nice little padded sleeve. (read the rest of this shit…)
Hello and welcome to my landmark 17th column. The reason this is so special to a motherfucker like me is that this is the first time I have written a column since seeing the Golden Globe Awards program. I have never watched this show before but as an important film Writer I felt it was my duty, my privelege and oh hell it was my honor to watch this awards broadcast presentation.
You see now that I am a part of the Cinema Writing community I am starting to anticipate the OScars awards ceremony. I know it will not quite be the Outlaw Awards but then what the hell is? You gotta keep an eye even on the mainstream fucks and what they are up to as far as giving awards. Since I have been out of the picture for a while and I wasn’t really as much of a Cinema appreciater before going down I really can’t remember the last time I saw them. I vaguely remember Marlon Brando’s indian gal but that’s about it. Anyway according to some information I have researched it turns out that the Golden Globes are one of the major precursors, inspirations and omens for the oscars. They are given out be the foreigner press who I don’t think are actually critics, alot of them may just write gossip if I understand correctly. But anyway, they are what alot of dudes apparently use to predict the oscars. (read the rest of this shit…)
Okay I’m gonna be up front about this. I know very well what you motherfuckers expect out of me this week. I’m not stupid. You think just ’cause I’m an ex-con I’m gonna spend this whole column gushing all over that new three hour prison movie that motherfucker Tom Hanks has.
Well guess what Jack, there is more to my life than prison. To be honest I don’t even want to revisit that territory anymore because who the fuck cares. I don’t even want to think about prison anymore. I gotta leave all that traumatic shit behind.
Well okay no that’s not true at all. Actually I just haven’t seen the movie yet. It’s hard to get three hours free to watch yet another Tom Hanks prison guard movie when you are a Writer like myself who is busy sculpting words or experiencing life which to be frankly honest is the most important element of a man’s Writing. (read the rest of this shit…)
WAYS YOU CAN SUPPORT THE SHIT OUT OF VERN & OUTLAWVERN.COM
if that's your thing:
1. Patreon
Toss me a couple bucks a month, support the good shit, also get access to a bunch of exclusive writing. This is my primary source of writing money that has allowed me to cut down to part time at the day job. Thank you!
2. Buy my books from your local bookseller or somebody
(NOTE: My ten year contract has passed on the Titan books, so I don't get residuals on them like I do WORM ON A HOOK and NIKETOWN, but I would love for you to read them because I'm proud of them)
EXTRA CREDIT: Review them on Amazon! That would really help me out. Unless you didn't like them, in which case forget I said anything.
3. If you ever buy from Amazon, go through my links or search engines
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I also have an Amazon UK one:
(I can't get the search box widget to work anymore, so click on MOONWALKER and then search for what you want.)
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5. Spread the word
Tell your friends about my reviews and my books and everything. Only cool people though please, we don't need a bunch of suckers and/or chumps around here.
THANKS EVERYBODY. YOUR FRIEND, VERN
* * * *
Recent commentary and jibber-jabber
Skani on Violent Night: “Seconding the love for CARRY ON. Very, very good!” Dec 17, 17:51
Palermo on Desperate Living: “There’s a bit on the SERIAL MOM commentary where Kathleen Turner is like, “The thing about your movies is they’re…” Dec 17, 14:42
Mr. Majestyk on Desperate Living: “This one is great. It’s Mink’s shining moment and the apex of Waters’ early trash aesthetic before the kitsch really…” Dec 17, 07:26
CJ Holden on Violent Night: “Yeah, RED ONE was quite good. Not an instant classic, it suffers for example from the typical modern day Hollywood…” Dec 17, 03:01
KayKay on Violent Night: “I’ll most likely catch it this weekend, but yeah, for me, the put off is the massive lump of coal…” Dec 16, 16:25
Curt on Violent Night: “Has anybody here watched RED ONE? As a VIOLENT NIGHT fan I had low expectations but was pleasantly surprised. I…” Dec 16, 10:55
Charles on Blue Giant: “I watched this and really liked it. I thought the animation and how it came alive when they played was…” Dec 16, 10:24
Mr. Majestyk on The Christmas Spirit: “He reviewed it last year. https://outlawvern.com/2023/12/20/riot-1996/” Dec 16, 10:17
Charles on The Christmas Spirit: “Vern have you seen ROIT (1996) it stars Sugar Ray Leonard & Gary Daniels. I have heard good things, it’s…” Dec 16, 10:11
Borg9 on Eraserhead: “As to True Originals, having just watched Johnnie To in the Criterion closet praising Krzysztof Kieślowski’s DEKALOG, I wonder if…” Dec 16, 09:14
Borg9 on Eraserhead: “OK, so I saw this in a London repertory cinema in the 80s with a bunch of early Lynch shorts,…” Dec 16, 08:49
Big Mike on Plain Clothes: “Loved this movie as a kid. I was 9 when it came out. I was always a sucker for a…” Dec 15, 07:50
KayKay on Black Adam: “Freed from both the yoke of The Rock’s humongous ego and the template of a Superhero Movie, Jaume Collet-Serra returns…” Dec 14, 08:50
psychic_hits on Eraserhead: “Dreadguac- My pleasure! I had the same reaction: never would have guessed it all began with the sound, but yeah,…” Dec 14, 07:41
Fangoria Magazine is important to me. I’ve been reading it since some time in the ’80s. It covered not only all the great horror movies that have come out during all those years, but also the less great ones. I like that you could read detailed coverage of, like, DOLLY DEAREST or some shit when it came out. I have boxes of old issues and sometimes I’ll remember to go back and see their interviews about, say, HELLRAISER: BLOODLINE, or something and find more details than I could find browsing the internet. It’s great.
MANIAC COP is like an ’80s b-movie dream team. William Lustig (MANIAC) directs, Larry Cohen (IT’S ALIVE!) writes, James Glickenhaus (THE EXECUTIONER, 
OZ THE GREAT AND POWERFUL could also be called WALT DISNEY’S SAM RAIMI 3D. That’s what I was hoping to see, and that’s what I got. If it had been a WIZARD OF OZ prequel movie made by somebody not as exciting as Raimi I don’t know that I would’ve even bothered, and it’s not my first choice of what he should be doing now that he’s stopped being a captive of SPIDER-MAN. But it turns out to be a better-than-expected use of Raimi’s time and mine.
Hey folks, Harry here… Vern sent in a review for a movie I’ve just plum never heard of? From the sound of it, I’m shocked we haven’t. I mean a Bruce Campbell movie left uncovered by AICN? Hey Zeus Morales! Ya know? And with Don Coscarelli, you’d think Quint might’ve reported in, but that lazy bastard’s been holding out on us! Well, no more. Vern here is breaking what can only be a conspiracy of silence at the very heights of the corporate whores at AICN, and he’s breaking that door down to tell you folks for the first time about BUBBA HO-TEP… A film that studios everywhere are conspiring to keep from you. The bastards! Here ya go… Thank Beezlebub for Vern!
Harry here with that drunken hillbilly bastard named Vern. Now this Vern fella went and got himself one of those new fangled rubbery editions of EVIL DEAD. Now ordinarily I would be all against rubbery editions, but this is a rubbery edition that looks like the Book of the Dead… and cooler still, I’m apparently contained inside the Book Of The Dead as is the beer room of the Alamo Drafthouse, beneath the projector room…. whilst showing EVIL DEAD 2! That’s a mighty freaking cool feature to contain in a special rubbery edition. Anyway, I just ordered mine Click here to order your The Evil Dead (Book Of The Dead Limited Rubbery Edition)!!!!
