Archive for the ‘Reviews’ Category
Thursday, May 22nd, 2025
May 13, 2005
UNLEASHED (a.k.a. DANNY THE DOG) is a movie I reviewed when it came out 20 years ago, but unlike MINDHUNTERS I’ve rewatched it a few times over the years. In fact I found some notes and screengrabs from an unfinished review when I last watched it in 2021. It’s a truly international creation, an English-language Jet Li vehicle co-starring American Morgan Freeman, produced and directed by Frenchmen, choreographed by Hong Kong legend Yuen Woo-ping and filmed and set in Glasgow, Scotland, but it feels like it has a unified vision, a very specific take on how to make a 2005 action movie with a big heart.
Li plays Danny, a feral person raised in a cage by the cruel gangster Bart (Bob Hoskins, SUPER MARIO BROS.) and trained to be his attack dog. When Bart needs to intimidate debtors or enemies he simply removes Danny’s metal collar and he will go ape shit, destroying everyone in the room with blunt martial arts savagery. Danny is severely traumatized – is he also developmentally disabled in some way? This is never discussed, but for whatever reason he’s very childlike, and he doesn’t know to yearn for a better life until he happens to find one after Bart is attacked by rivals and seemingly killed. (read the rest of this shit…)
Tags: Bob Hoskins, Jet Li, Kerry Condon, Louis Leterrier, Luc Besson, Mike Lambert, Morgan Freeman, Pierre Morel, Scott Adkins, Yuen Woo-Ping
Posted in Reviews, Action, Crime, Martial Arts | 4 Comments »
Wednesday, May 21st, 2025
May 13, 2005
I think it’s fair to say that, at least at one time, Renny Harlin’s MINDHUNTERS held a revered status around here. When I reviewed it a couple years after it came out I was thoroughly won over by what I described as “a movie that is really fuckin dumb, but in a good way.” Many readers shared my joy and when, on some other review I can’t find right now, a commenter mentioned being a stand-in the the legendary liquid nitrogen kill scene, we treated him like a superstar. I hold much of this movie in my treasured cinematic memories that I bring up from time to time, but have I ever watched it a second time before now? Not that I remember. So this retrospective was a good idea.
(Note: I didn’t re-read the old review until after writing this one, so forgive me if there’s a little overlap.) (read the rest of this shit…)
Tags: Christian Slater, Clifton Collins Jr., Ehren Kruger, Eion Bailey, Kario Salem, Kathryn Morris, Kevin Brodbin, LL Cool J, Lucas Harper, Patricia Velasquez, Renny Harlin, Val Kilmer, Wayne Kramer, Will Kemp
Posted in Reviews, Crime, Horror, Mystery | 7 Comments »
Tuesday, May 20th, 2025
One movie that came out on May 6, 2005 was Ridley Scott’s crusades epic KINGDOM OF HEAVEN. It was poorly received in the U.S. at the time but later had a widely-considered-superior director’s cut, which I have reviewed. Today I’ll consider a different May 6th release that has not yet had its director’s cut re-evaluation moment.
I don’t remember if I knew about JIMINY GLICK IN LALAWOOD when it came out in its limited release, during which according to Box Office Mojo it collected $36,039. (I assume they rounded to the nearest dollar – the real total could be as much as 49 cents higher.) But there was no chance I would’ve gone to see it then. I confess that as much as I’d loved THREE AMIGOS and Ed Grimley growing up, in the aughts I did not think Martin Short was funny anymore. I was also instantly turned off by fat suits (which I wasn’t really wrong about), so I turned my nose up to Primetime Glick, the Comedy Central show where this hack entertainment journalist character did sort of Space Ghost Coast to Coast style awkward improvised celebrity interviews.
But let me point you to a historical note. Two weeks before JIMINY GLICK IN LALAWOOD came out, the first ever Youtube video, Me at the zoo, was uploaded. During the intervening two decades, through the medium of Youtube clips, I have become aware that Jiminy Glick does in fact make me laugh, so I was actually excited to watch the movie version.
Well, the character is still funny. And it seems like a great idea for an improvised movie: he goes to the Toronto International Film Festival. They were able to improvise scenes with actors attending the actual festival, and debut the movie there the following year. There is a plot and new characters and what not, but most of the laughs come just from Jiminy saying ridiculous things to real celebrities. They take advantage of the setting to interview actors on the red carpet (Kiefer Sutherland, Sharon Stone, Jake Gyllenhaal, Forest Whitaker, Susan Sarandon) and even film some bits with Jiminy at parties (annoying Kevin Cline by following him around, thinking Whoopi Goldberg is Oprah Winfrey). They also cheat by having in-studio interviews like the show, including Steve Martin, Kurt Russell and Rob Lowe. All of these people get the joke, but some are better at playing along. (read the rest of this shit…)
Tags: Aries Spears, Darren Shahlavi, David Lynch, DeRay Davis, Elizabeth Perkins, Gary Anthony Williams, Jan Hooks, Janeane Garofalo, John Michael Higgins, Linda Cardellini, Martin Short, Paul Flaherty, Vadim Jean
Posted in Reviews, Comedy/Laffs | 3 Comments »
Monday, May 19th, 2025
Summer is headed our way, there’s actually a slate of incoming would-be blockbusters I’m excited for this year, and this is also the season when I like to look back thoughtfully and/or nostalgically at memorable summers of the past. As with so many things I get in the habit of doing annually, I’ve painted myself into a corner – I’ve already written about so many movies and so many specific years that it becomes harder to find fresh ground. But on the positive side I’ve been reviewing movies for so god damn long that I can look back at a summer from during my career and realize that enough time has passed that I really could look at most of those movies with new eyes.
Case in point: the summer of 2005. Doesn’t sound like that long ago when I say it. I was definitely a grown adult at the time, and I’d been a self-appointed film critic for 5+ years, even self-published a best-of collection. But I have run the numbers and though of course I’m open to corrections on this I do believe that particular year was 20 (twenty) whole years ago at this time. (read the rest of this shit…)
Tags: Brian Van Holt, Carey Hayes, Chad Hayes, Chad Michael Murray, Damon Herriman, Dark Castle, Elisha Cuthbert, Jared Padalecki, Jaume Collet-Serra, Jon Abrahams, Paris Hilton, remakes, Robert Ri'chard
Posted in Reviews, Horror | 6 Comments »
Thursday, May 15th, 2025
Would you believe Robert Rodriguez & Frank Miller’s SIN CITY had its twentieth anniversary last month? I mean yes it kinda seems like a long time ago, but 20 years ago? That’s a bunch of years. I’m against it.
(Here’s my review from the time.)
Let’s consider how times were different. Rodriguez was well into his career, having just completed his EL MARIACHI trilogy, with FROM DUSK TILL DAWN, THE FACULTY and three SPY KIDS movies snuggled in between them. He was still in his digital photography evangelist period, ONCE UPON A TIME IN MEXICO having convinced him of how a movie like this could be made affordably at his Troublemaker Studios in Austin. Miramax (before being cancelled) were still surprisingly cool about letting Rodriguez (like Quentin Tarantino) do the type of movies they wanted without much interference. The Ain’t It Cool News (also before being cancelled) were still a player with their breathless reports from Hall H presentations and also sometimes some reviews.
Harry and Moriarty were (it seems to me) the loudest voices promoting the idea of “geek culture” and the potential for great comic book movies if they were made by people who really loved the source material and were faithful to it. Possibly even made for adults.
SIN CITY is the movie that took that idea the most literally. Rodriguez wanted not only Miller’s permission to adapt his interconnected anthology series of noir-inspired crime comics – he wanted him to co-direct it with him. The legendary cartoonist was skeptical, but Rodriguez got him to come shoot a test scene – the opening starring Josh Hartnett (HALLOWEEN H20) as a dreamy stranger who woos a heartbroken woman on the balcony at a party (Mary Shelton, WARRIORS OF VIRTUE) but turns out to be hired to kill her. Miller was hooked and they had footage to show other actors what it would look like. When all was said and done the DGA would only allow one of them to be credited since they weren’t an established team (huh?), so Rodriguez resigned from the guild. (read the rest of this shit…)
Would you believe Robert Rodriguez & Frank Miller’s SIN CITY had its twentieth anniversary last month? I mean yes it kinda seems like a long time ago, but 20 years ago? That’s a bunch of years. I’m against it.
(Here’s my review from the time.)
Let’s consider how times were different. Rodriguez was well into his career, having just completed his EL MARIACHI trilogy, with FROM DUSK TILL DAWN, THE FACULTY and three SPY KIDS movies snuggled in between them. He was still in his digital photography evangelist period, ONCE UPON A TIME IN MEXICO having convinced him of how a movie like this could be made affordably at his Troublemaker Studios in Austin. Miramax (before being cancelled) were still surprisingly cool about letting Rodriguez (like Quentin Tarantino) do the type of movies they wanted without much interference. The Ain’t It Cool News (also before being cancelled) were still a player with their breathless reports from Hall H presentations and also sometimes some reviews.
Harry and Moriarty were (it seems to me) the loudest voices promoting the idea of “geek culture” and the potential for great comic book movies if they were made by people who really loved the source material and were faithful to it. Possibly even made for adults.
SIN CITY is the movie that took that idea the most literally. Rodriguez wanted not only Miller’s permission to adapt his interconnected anthology series of noir-inspired crime comics – he wanted him to co-direct it with him. The legendary cartoonist was skeptical, but Rodriguez got him to come shoot a test scene – the opening starring Josh Hartnett (HALLOWEEN H20) as a dreamy stranger who woos a heartbroken woman on the balcony at a party (Mary Shelton, WARRIORS OF VIRTUE) but turns out to be hired to kill her. Miller was hooked and they had footage to show other actors what it would look like. When all was said and done the DGA would only allow one of them to be credited since they weren’t an established team (huh?), so Rodriguez resigned from the guild. (read the rest of this shit…)
Tags: Alex Bledel, Benicio Del Toro, Britney Murphy, Bruce Willis, Carla Gugino, Clive Owen, Devin Aoki, Elijah Wood, Frank Miller, Jaimie King, Jessica Alba, Josh Hartnett, Makenzie Vega, Mary Shelton, Michael Madsen, Mickey Rourke, Nick Stahl, Nicky Katt, Powers Boothe, Quentin Tarantino, Robert Rodriguez, Rosario Dawson
Posted in Reviews, Bruce, Comic strips/Super heroes, Crime | 16 Comments »
Wednesday, May 14th, 2025
LAST BULLET is the third movie in the LOST BULLET (Balle Perdue) trilogy, the excellent French high-speed-car-chase-oriented action movie series produced for Netflix. The first one introduces actor/stuntman Alban Lenoir (“Gunman,” CASH TRUCK) as Lino, an genius mechanic and driver who goes to prison for ramming his car through the side of a jewelry store trying to get his brother out of debt. A cop named Charas (Ramazy Bedia) convinces his boss Moss (Pascale Arbillot) to let him recruit Lino to build cars for an elite “go-fast” task force chasing cross-border drug smugglers, but a corrupt member of the squad name Areski (Nicolas Duvauchelle, TROUBLE EVERY DAY) kills Charas and frames Lino for it. The title refers to the evidence that can clear Lino, which is lodged into the car he gets chased in. (That car makes a cameo appearance here, completely destroyed.)
LOST BULLET 2 is much more complicated, with Moss making an immunity deal with co-conspirator Marco (Sébastien Lalanne), Lino kidnapping him to exchange with Spanish cops, chased by cops including Yuri (Quentin D’Hainaut, “Heavy,” THE KILLER 2024) who work for corrupt chief of Narcotics Resz (Gérard Lanvin, MESRINE: PUBLIC ENEMY NO. 1), as well as falling in love with Areski’s ex-wife Stella (Anne Serra) and going to Spanish prison when he takes the fall for his much cooler former colleague/girlfriend Julia (Stéfi Celma) accidentally killing Marco.
I confess I didn’t remember much of this, even after Netflix autoplayed a TV style “previously on” recap of the first two movies, so I went and read the Wikipedia summaries before starting the movie. If you were considering rewatching the first two before this one I’d say it’s a good idea, though I did okay. (read the rest of this shit…)
Tags: Alban Lenoir, David Julienne, Gerard Lanvin, Guillaume Pierret, Julie Engelbrecht, Julie Tedesco, Nicolas Duvauchelle, Pascale Arbillot, Quentin D'Hainaut, Stefi Celma
Posted in Reviews, Action | 14 Comments »
Monday, May 12th, 2025
Some are saying that THUNDERBOLTS* is a return to form for the troubled MCU (Marvel Comics UnendingMoviesandTVshows). That might be overstating things. I wouldn’t say it feels as exciting as the best Marvel movies have, it is not a drastically new twist on the series, it only really introduces one major new character to share the screen with a bunch of old ones, it’s clearly following a GUARDIANS OF THE GALAXY underdog-found-family template without nearly the same level of visual imagination, it does not rank high in the standings of blockbuster action or comic book movies. It does, however, lean less than some of the recent ones on riffy bullshit and rushed green screen visuals, while scoring high in the constant Marvel strength of well-cast characters that are fun to hang out with, in particular the central one. And though I don’t think it excels as a story I do think it has a consistent theme behind it that’s moving in ways most MCU movies are not. So I liked it. (read the rest of this shit…)
Tags: David Harbour, Eric Pearson, Florence Pugh, Geraldine Viswanathan, Hannah John-Kamen, Heidi Moneymaker, Jake Schreier, Joanna Calo, Julia Luis-Dreyfus, Lewis Pullman, MCU, Olga Kurylenko, Sebastian Stan, Wyatt Russell
Posted in Reviews, Comic strips/Super heroes | 10 Comments »
Friday, May 9th, 2025
ABSOLUTE DOMINION is the new one from writer/director Lexi Alexander (GREEN STREET [HOOLIGANS], PUNISHER: WAR ZONE), her first feature film in 15 years (she’s been doing television). If you’re like me you’ve been interested in her since her PUNISHER movie, are very aware that she was a German kickboxing champion sponsored by Chuck Norris to immigrate to the U.S., where she portrayed Kitana on a Mortal Kombat live tour, and were excited to hear she was doing a martial arts movie. She’s also known for being fearlessly outspoken, particularly about Palestinian and Arab issues, so it was extra promising that this seemed to have an aspect of social commentary to it.
Well, the results are interesting, at least. The movie is primarily set in 2063 A.D., nineteen years after an era of devastating terrorist attacks by various factions of religious zealots. What changed? A live streamer named Fix Huntley (Patton Oswalt, BLADE: TRINITY) jokingly suggested that each religion should train a fighter to enter a tournament called “The Battle of Absolute Dominion” to decide which religion the world would follow. The idea immediately caught on, now Huntley oversees the tournament and I guess everyone just goes along with the results. World peace. Not bad. (read the rest of this shit…)
Tags: Alex Winter, Alok Vaid-Menon, Desire Mia, fighting tournament, James Adam Lim, Julie Ann Emery, June Carryl, Junes Zahdi, Lexi Alexander, Mario D'Leon, Naya Olinga, Olunike Adeliyi, Patton Oswalt, Philip Tan
Posted in Reviews, Action, Martial Arts, Science Fiction and Space Shit | 2 Comments »
Thursday, May 8th, 2025
I knew the name Denys Arcand as a famous Canadian director. I remember the title JESUS OF MONTREAL as a movie that was advertised when I was a teenager, and later THE BARBARIAN INVASIONS won the Oscar for Best Foreign Language Film. I have not seen or really paid attention to these, but I did perk up a little when some of his early films were released on blu-ray by Canadian International Pictures, a Vinegar-Syndrome-affiliated label “devoted to resurrecting vital, distinctive, and overlooked triumphs of Canadian and Québécois cinema.” And I remembered that when Miguel Hombre recommended them (and Arcand in general) in a discussion of Canadian cinema in the comments to my COSMOPOLIS / MAPS TO THE STARS double feature review. Thank you Miguel.
CIP says their releases range “from arthouse to Canuxploitation,” and what makes GINA interesting is how it’s kind of both. By the end it’s fair to say it’s a rape-revenge movie, but before that it’s a socially conscious drama about labor, class and sexism. The titular Gina (Celine Lomez, THE SILENT PARTNER) is a stripper hired to dance at a cabaret in a small town. But much of the movie follows a group of nameless documentarians staying at the same hotel-motel while in town to interview workers at a textile factory that’s about to have massive layoffs. So there’s alot of screen time spent on just characters (and real people I think?) talking about strikes and unions and how workers are exploited and mistreated. (read the rest of this shit…)
Tags: Canadian, Canuxploitation, Celine Lomez, Denys Arcand, Frederique Collin, Jean-Pierre Saulnier, Jocelyn Berube, Paule Baillargeon, Quebec, rape-revenge, snowmobiles
Posted in Reviews, Drama, Thriller | 5 Comments »
Tuesday, May 6th, 2025
COMPANION, which played in theaters a couple months ago and is now on disc and streaming, features certain genre elements that are strategically withheld for a while. For almost a third of its 97 minutes we can tell there’s something we’re missing about the main character because of some of the weird things people say to her, so we’re very intrigued. I don’t include myself in “we” though because I knew the premise of the movie, controversially (but understandably, I think) included in the second trailer and other promotions. There is good reason to go in blind, but I can confirm that the movie is still fun without being surprised by that part. And I’m not gonna write a review on eggshells, so I’m gonna get into it a couple paragraphs from now.
The movie is about a group of friends who go stay together at a rich guy’s fancy-ass lake house. Iris (Sophie Thatcher, MAXXXINE) is our narrator, these are friends of her boyfriend Josh (Jack Quaid, LOGAN LUCKY), and she’s worried she’s going to embarrass herself in front of them. Sure enough Kat (Megan Suri, IT LIVES INSIDE), who answers the door, barely acknowledges her presence. Poor Iris just stands there forcing a smile while a conversation goes on next to her. (read the rest of this shit…)
Tags: Drew Hancock, Harvey Guillen, Jack Quaid, Lukas Gage, Marc Menchaca, Megan Suri, Rupert Friend, Sophie Thatcher, Zach Cregger
Posted in Reviews, Science Fiction and Space Shit, Thriller | 19 Comments »
