I'm not trying to be a hero! I'M FIGHTING THE DRAGON!!

Deadpool

tn_deadpoolDEADPOOL is a smart-ass, hard-R super hero revenge movie for the 14 year old boy in every man, woman and child. The feature directing debut of FX artist Tim Miller (who designed the opening credits for Fincher’s THE GIRL WITH THE DRAGON TATTOO) has show-offy digital camera moves, fourth-wall-breaking narration, meta and self-referential humor, frequent jokes about dildos and other things going up butts, gun fetishism, jerking off, juvenile homophobic name-calling like “cockgobbler,” and is convinced that it’s hilarious to know the names of different gross sex acts and talk about doing them with old ladies. Sounds exactly like a Neveldine/Taylor style headache. But I really enjoyed it.

I saw commenters here predicting I would hate DEADPOOL like I did KICK-ASS. I understand the comparison, but here’s why I think it’s different: it has a different personality. Both are trying to push buttons with foul-mouthed costumed characters going overboard with the violence and seeming real proud of themselves for it, but to me KICK-ASS seems like it’s trying to shock and outrage some hypothetical prudes and squares that would never watch the movie anyway, while DEADPOOL seems like it’s trying to win everybody over with its obnoxious charm. There are tons of childish jokes in the movie that didn’t make me laugh, but they felt less like jokes failing and more like me smiling and shaking my head at a dipshit friend trying to make me uncomfortable to amuse himself. And the X-Men seem to feel kind of the same. He’s basically a bad guy but they keep going easy on him because they want him to be a good guy.Come to think of it that’s in keeping with what I’ve always liked about the X-MEN movies. The lines between good guys and bad guys are blurred. The bad guys are often kinda right and can also be friends with the good guys and play chess with them and stuff. It’s complicated out there for a mutant.

Otherwise though this is pretty different than those movies.

How did a goofy movie like this get made? Believe it or not it’s a passion project for Ryan Reynolds, who played a different version of the character seven years ago in X-MEN ORIGINS: WOLVERINE and had been attached to a solo movie even before that. Since WOLVERINE is the one failed X-Men movie and nobody liked the character onscreen (last seen as stunt double Scott Adkins with his mouth sewn shut) I never quite believed Reynolds would be able to Vin Diesel this thing into existence. Not only did he do it, but it’s a huge smash hit, somehow even soaring beyond its PG-13 stepbrothers. So the WOLVERINE movie gave us something other than mild amusement and the still valid [____] ORIGINS: [______] joke movie title format.

It makes you wonder: what if Reynolds had put all that energy into the Nightstalkers spin-off they said they were gonna do from BLADE 3?

Note: in this movie he makes jokes about being embarrassed of WOLVERINE and GREEN LANTERN, but there is no mention of BLADE 3.

mp_deadpoolForget about the Weapon X program. This isn’t your father’s Deadpool. This time Wade Wilson, an amoral mercenary, gets tortured into immortality (and ugliness) by a creepo named Francis (Ed Skrein, THE TRANSPORTER REFUELED) who says he’s gonna cure Wade’s cancer. The story takes place when he’s already a masked red ninja dude tracking down Francis for an antidote, and flashes back to tell how he fell in love, then became a monster, then pretended to be dead and spied on his girlfriend from afar while plotting revenge. Like DARKMAN.

Wade’s girlfriend Vanessa (Morena Baccarin, SERENITY) is not today’s ideal of a strong female – she’s a smoking hot prostitute who he has to rescue from kidnapping and practically being tied to train tracks. But I like her because she has a strong personality to match his. She goes toe-to-toe with him in joking and kinky sex acts. She doesn’t seem like she’s just putting up with him. And she gets the best line in the movie.

There are as many jokes flying around as bullets, and I laughed hard at plenty of them. Pop culture references can get old, but I guess I’m a sucker for a tough guy hero wearing a Bea Arthur tank top or making an allusion to COBRA. And I think we will all agree that a certain person who has a cameo in most Marvel movies has his best cameo in this one. It just has a playful attitude about everything. If the credits that call the director a douchebag don’t work for you (they didn’t for me) you’re bound to be won over by something else, like maybe the bullets that have numbers on them to remind you how many he has left. And that he has to figure out how to kill three guys with one bullet.

I think the thing that annoyed me most about KICK-ASS was that the narration pushed this notion that they’re real people who read comics and decide to be super heroes and this is what would really happen, but all that means is more gore and cursing, but less plausibility than your average modern super hero movie. DEADPOOL doesn’t pretend to be above anything, in fact it takes place in the X-Men universe. My favorite stuff is his interactions with two X-Men, Colossus (an animated metal man with cartoonish Russian voice courtesy of Stefan Kapičić) and Negasonic Teenage Warhead (who is played by Brianna Hildebrand, has the coolest name of all X-Men, and rolls her eyes at Deadpool like he’s her dad trying to act cool). It’s a nice example of using an existing world but allowing for different tone to reflect the main character’s POV.

Since it’s Deadpool’s POV it’s gonna have some goofy uses of popular music in it. I know that’s not unprecedented (GUARDIANS OF THE GALAXY maybe being the most comparable) but I gotta hand it to this one for good uses of well known songs by Juice Newton, Sant-n-Pepa, Chicago, George Michael and also DMX’s “X Gon’ Give It To Ya,” which was in the trailer but surprisingly also the movie. Also the score by Tom Holkenborg (who stopped going as Junkie XL after FURY ROAD?) is very effective and keeps using a sound that reminds me of the gong at the beginning of “Beat It.”

The people who should just beat it but instead make the mistake of fighting Deadpool are mostly generic mafia thugs and paramilitary henchmen, but there’s a couple super powereds in there, and one is Gina Carano as Angel Dust. It’s a good use of Carano because she does some real moves within the special effects, she grimaces alot, and they don’t skinny her up. She’s got some meat on her. She looks like she wouldn’t need the powers to beat the shit out of most of the dudes in the movie. I’m happy that she gets a decent henchwoman role because 1) you never know if an action star is gonna get shit to do in these super hero movies (see Adkins in WOLVERINE) 2) the last movie I saw her in, HEIST, they had her playing a cop who didn’t do any fighting. That means she was there for her acting, which has not been her strength so far.

Speaking of movies I never got around to writing a review of, it took me a minute to recognize the villain as the star of THE TRANSPORTER REFUELED. I didn’t hate that movie. Skrein is no Statham, which was a problem, but they did give Ray Stevenson a surprisingly large part as his dad, and I remember this was the best (but not only good) part:

Anyway, Skrein works better as a hatable bad guy than a replacement Statham.

The character of Deadpool fits into many traditions, but the combination of elements make for a refreshingly different super hero movie. Visually, he wears a version of the padded armor they wear now instead of spandex, but the filmatists take the unprecedentedly cartoonish step of giving the mask white eyes and then animating them. He looks kind of like Spider-man crossed with the ninjas from GI JOE, flipping around in slow motion, firing two guns at a time, spinning two swords, but he also likes to do wacky poses, including the HOME ALONE face. He’s like some sort of pervert ninja Bugs Bunny, who prioritizes fucking with people just above curing himself and getting revenge.

Since DEADPOOL is a huge hit, bigger than what even optimistic fans could’ve predicted and turning long-held Hollywood conventional wisdom about R-rated movies on its head, everyone is trying to figure out what it means for the future. Mostly people are either excited or annoyed that they think it will lead to a new age of R-rated super hero movies. I don’t see it that way. I think it’s a welcome return to a tradition of lowbrow R-rated Marvel movies: THE PUNISHER, BLADE, BLADE II, THE PUNISHERBLADE TRINITY and PUNISHER WAR ZONE. (MAN-THING was also rated-R.)

Of course it’s much jokier than all those, full of references, quips and Apatowian riffing with the bartender played by T.J. Miller (YOGI BEAR), and in fact the weakest of the theatrical releases listed there is probly the one that features Reynolds being a wiseass in it. But what these all have in common is that they’re more action oriented, hyper violent, lower budget so the stories are on a smaller, more ’80s action movie type scale and there’s more room for stylistic experimentation. Actually I would also include GHOST RIDER: SPIRIT OF VENGEANCE in this category even though I didn’t particularly like it and it was PG-13. This is a type of variation on the comic book movie that I think there’s room for in the world.

So welcome back R-rated Marvel. Have fun, but keep an eye on the size of those britches.

P.S.

The script is by Rhett Reese and Paul Wernick, the guys who did ZOMBIELAND and GI JOE: RETALIATION. Rheese also did CRUEL INTENTIONS 3, which I thought I’d reviewed back in the day, but when I googled it all I found was an Ain’t It Cool review of the DONNIE DARKO director’s cut where I mentioned sending it to Moriarty and it ending up in his spam folder.

Since I’ve used the same email since the ’90s I searched it and found the review. So here as a special bonus is what I sent to Drew 12 years ago under the subject line “This is the big one: Vern reviews CRUEL INTENTIONS 3.” (Follow asterisks for contemporary updates and explanations of dated references.)

—–

Boys –

I know you fellas haven’t found much use for my last couple reviews (the hellboy one and the kill bill one) but boys, this is the big one. I know  this is something you don’t have a review of yet and you are chomping at the god damn bit for this one. You’re sitting there going come on bit, I’m gonna
chomp the shit out of you until Vern sends me a review of the thrilling conclusion to the beloved CRUEL INTENTIONS trilogy.

That’s right boys, CRUEL INTENTIONS 3. May 25th 2004 is the big day. “An Immoral Playground of Seduction and Revenge” it says on the cover, but I don’t think that’s the title. But it would be cool though if it was.

Wait a minute, did that say IMMORTAL playground? No, sorry, it was ‘immoral’. I was gonna say, maybe I need to watch it again because I didn’t pick up on that angle.

Let’s sum up the saga so far:

CRUEL INTENTIONS

Kathryn Merteuil (Sarah Michelle Gellar) is the wine-sipping, sexually manipulative bitch who bets her prissy stepbrother Sebastian Valmont (Ryan Phillipe) that he can’t nail the prep school dean’s virginal daughter (Reese Witherspoon). Of course, he gets in there and then discovers that – gasp – he really loves her. Selma Blair is in there also, and Kathryn gives her “kissing lessons” in the park. Then Kathryn snorts coke out of a crucifix and Sebastian gets run over by a car (awesome).

There is lots of campy dialogue and sexual innuendo (no nudity if I remember right – definitely no penetration, I’m pretty sure). It sounds like a porno but it’s basically a teen version of DYNASTY or FALCON CREST, but based on the novel Les Liaisons Dangereuses by Choderlos de Laclos.

CRUEL INTENTENTIONS 2

The same writer/director returned for the sequel, which has different actors playing Kathryn* and Sebastian**. They meet for the first time again and make the same bet again. But it takes place in an alternate dimension or something. This time Sebastian is working class and you’re supposed to like him. Then there are twins naked in a shower. The closest thing to a memorable scene is where Kathryn gives a girl horse riding lessons and gets her to orgasm.

This one was actually a pilot for a Fox TV series, but some executive there*** was so offended by the horse/orgasm scene that he made them dump the series. And this was before Janet’s titty changed everything.****

(By the way that reminds me I got a real good idea for the networks. The politicians have decided that after Janet’s titty, it’s time for America to wash her mouth out with soap, right? And alot of the networks and stations and what not are scrambling to set up new censorship departments. Well you may not know this, they don’t talk about it in the American media much, but we still got a whole camp full of prisoners of war from Afghanistan locked up in cages indefinitely without charges in Guantanamo Bay. Unless EVERYBODY down there is an innocent bystander, there’s GOTTA be some Taliban in there. And believe me, Taliban guys know their shit when it comes to not letting anyone see a woman’s body. These are your guys! They’re made for the job! Just create some kind of work release program and put these guys in Standards and Practices. Or you could send the tapes over there and MAKE them watch them. We’re already violating their human rights anyway, it can’t be THAT much worse to make them watch sitcoms. Well, I guess that’s arguable. But think about it man.)

Anyway, CRUEL INTENTIONS 2 is basically a remix of the TV pilot MANCHESTER PREP, where they added some nudity and swearing. Just like MULLHOLLAND DRIVE, except less good.

(My review here http://www.aintitcool.com/display.cgi?id=8198)

Which brings us to PART 3. The thrilling conclusion. Sorry, it’s not in 3-D. But this time it’s the college years and the next generation. I thought maybe they would have yet another pair of actors playing Kathryn and Sebastian, but instead this is the story of Cassidy Merteuil (some chick who looks like Christina Applegate*****) and some dude (a guy from DAWSON CREEK******).

They tell us that Cassidy is the cousin of Kathryn. She idolizes her cousin and therefore she also goes around making $10,000 bets about who can sleep with who. The dude from Dawson Creek is, like, some guy who knows her, and wants to have sex with her but instead makes bets with her about him having sex with other people (he idolizes Sebastian). They say that the real Sebastian is dead and Kathryn is in a methadone clinic, and it is up to your imagination whether this means the Sebastian and Kathryn from part 1, or the ones from part 2. Or both.

The plot is a little less based on pre-revolution French literature this time, and more on the works of Shannon Tweed. It’s just a series of sex bets. First, the dude bets Cassidy she can’t have sex with his roommate. Then the dude and the roommate have a bet about whether they can have sex with an engaged gal and a gal with a boyfriend. Then they have bets about which one can have sex with Cassidy, but the dude realizes he is – HOLY CRAP WHAT A TREMENDOUS SHOCK – really in love with Cassidy. So sweet. What a hard, hard lesson he has to learn about making bets about having sex with people. I guess that’s why you go to college.

There is a little bit of nudity, so it might do the trick for teenage boys who have a parental lock on their web browsers and no access to a Playboy stash. Otherwise it is even less worth your while than part 2. The sense of humor and camp is completely gone. The anti-heroes are less cartoonish and FALCON CRESTy. In fact, it kind of seems like they’re supposed to be cool. Even though there’s a rape scene! If I had kids I wouldn’t let them watch this one. (did you see that, I just totally took a moral stand. That was awesome.) It’s basically a mean-spirited softcore porn. There is no goofy imagination to the titillation like in the first two. It’s written by the guy who wrote CLIFFORD’S REALLY BIG MOVIE.

I’m a nice guy though so I will say that this is not in the lowest tier of unwanted straight to video sequels, it’s more in the lower middle area. At least it’s not in a horror or suspense genre, so they have to come up with more than just a series of death scenes. I made it all the way through in two sittings. It was better than THE SKULLS III. I wonder if I could get that quote on the box.

Anyway that’s it for now boys. Don’t worry, I’ll keep you informed on the straight to video sequel front.

–Vern

* 5-time Oscar nominee Amy Adams
** Robin Dunne, later in AU PAIR II, THE SKULLS II, AMERICAN PSYCHO II and SPECIES III.
*** Actually it was Fox chairman Rupert Murdoch himself
**** Here I’m on about the Super Bowl XXXVIII controversy. Janet Jackson’s shirt had opened up during the half time show, showing part of her breast on live TV. Many people fainted and almost died of the vapors trying to protect their children.
***** Kristina Anapau, BLACK SWAN
****** Kerr Smith, MY BLOODY VALENTINE

VERN has been reviewing movies since 1999 and is the author of the books SEAGALOGY: A STUDY OF THE ASS-KICKING FILMS OF STEVEN SEAGAL, YIPPEE KI-YAY MOVIEGOER!: WRITINGS ON BRUCE WILLIS, BADASS CINEMA AND OTHER IMPORTANT TOPICS and NIKETOWN: A NOVEL. His horror-action novel WORM ON A HOOK will arrive later this year.
This entry was posted on Monday, February 29th, 2016 at 11:28 am and is filed under Action, Comedy/Laffs, Comic strips/Super heroes, Reviews. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can skip to the end and leave a response. Pinging is currently not allowed.

50 Responses to “Deadpool”

  1. Glad to hear that you enjoyed it.

    RE: the BEAT IT sound. Apparently Michael Jackson sampled it from a guy named Danny Jaeger and so did Tom Junkiexlborg. Jaeger even even gets named in the soundtrack credits.

  2. The theme sounding like BEAT IT was very appropriate since in the comic book Deadpool is an MJ fan. The movie is nowhere as funny as IT thinks it is but when it did make me laugh it really came true. Plus it’s charming as fuck.

    The fact that it took I don’t know how many movies in the X-Men franchise to finally depict Colossus as a brolic Russian boyscout with a big brother complex made this one worth it. It was a cathartic “finally!” moment for me personally.

    In conclusion: any movie with the quote: “oral fixation? Or just a Stallone fan?” as well as a post-credit sequence that will make any John Hughes fan smile while confusing everybody else is ok in my book.

  3. Oh and I expected a Bea Arthur reference in the movie but really can’t remember one. Nevertheless it deserves all the cash it’s making. Reynolds finally got a competent script to back up his natural wise ass vibe and I’m happy for him.

  4. I enjoyed this one but I guess I was expecting something alot crazier and frenetic, when the final product is fairly straightforward and has a lot of sincerity and emotion. I just finished playing the Deadpool PS3 game where he’s constantly fighting on the phone with the game developers about how the destruction he causes is making the game over-budget, and they retaliate by cutting costs and making the game an 8-Bit Legend of Zelda knock-off for a stage or two. I was expecting that kind of meta-ness in the movie which may or may not have worked.

    What we get is decent enough even though I’ll go ahead and say it: I think Reynolds was funnier in Blade 3 and I think his action scenes are better in Wolverine Origins (I feel like I saw a different Wolverine than everyone else because even though it was really dumb I thought it had some really solid action in it). There’s a few good jokes and funny lines, the villain is serviceable, and this is easily the best version of Colossus we’ve seen onscreen. Carano is actually pretty decent here (even though she kind of disappears at the end – wasn’t Colossus rescuing her from the explosion?). Hopefully the inevitable Deadpool 2 will perfect the formula and make a movie worthy of the fortune this one’s making.

  5. The other difference between Deadpool and KickAss, even though I haven’t seen Deadpool: Ryan Reynolds has charisma, and Aaron Taylor-Johnson sucks.

  6. The score was critical to this flick working as well as it does. Here’s a great little piece on how Holkenborg approached writing it (and yeah, that is the exact sound from Beat It reproduced from the same vintage synch, the iconic Synclavier):

    Best quote: “I thought it was great to use sounds and musical ideas that in the 80s were perceived as very serious, and now, in hindsight, when you play them back, they’re very funny.” Perfectly stated…glad you liked the flick, Vern.

  7. Whoops, it would help if I actually included the link:

    How '80s Synths Make Deadpool's Soundtrack So Awesome

    In this cool video interview, Deadpool’s soudtrack composer Tom Holkenborg explains he had a very specific vision for the film’s score: use the glorious sounds of the synth to give Ryan Reynolds’ wise-ass character an ‘80s revival canvas on which to paint his mayhem.

  8. I really liked this movie. And it’s nice to see that everybody else seem to do so too. I wasn’t around for the KICK-ASS debate, so I don’t really know what that was about. But could it be – and I don’t want to start something with this – that it’s the British mentality of that movie that rubs so many the wrong way?

  9. Well,I´ll guess I will be the one who never gets it. This was an ok film that had a paperthin plot that was masked by re arranging the timeline and made the origin story “less boring” by intercutting “awesome” Deadpool stuff with the unimaginative and boring origin story. None of it was engaging the least bit.

    Another way, more positive way to look at it would be to see an origin story that didn´t drag before you get to see Daedpool. But you´d need an emotional involvment for that. And they don´t. So they shuffled it around.

    Good parts:
    Ryan Reynolds is fun and the stuff with the cab driver paid off brilliantly and made for one helluva good laugh.

    Gina Motherfuck Carano

    Bad stuff:
    I am not cut out for this kind of stuff. I will never understand the appeal of the character and some of the jokes really was flogging the dead horse ( “how ugly is Deadpool again”) and the hit ratio for the jokes were above average.

    The fights could have been awesome but they never reached DAREDEVIL level

    Most of the jokes unfunny

    Dumb, thin story.

    I was coerced to go see it. I never wanted to, I agve it a chance and it never stuck. A good movie should turn an unbeliever into a believer. This did not. Meh.

  10. I meant paperthin story naturally.

  11. I was the guy who predicted that Vern would hate it. It just seemed like the kind of thing that’d get his dander up. I’m happy to be wrong.

    I thought it was entertaining and I’ll watch it again but I didn’t go nuts over it. I think some of this is a SHARKNADO-type deal where norms who’ve never actually watched a truly weird movie in their lives think the first kinda wacky one they’re exposed to must be just the CA-RAZIEST thing there’s ever been. But I enjoy R-rated dialogue and action, especially when they come without the punishing seriousness of the vast majority of R-rated movies nowadays. I’m sure there will be a sequel that doubles down on everything that I will like way more than the original but the rest of the world will turn on, IRON MAN 2 style, but hey, it’s fun while it lasts.

    I must say, however, that Deadpool’s face in no way looks like an avocado. And even if it did, an avocado having sex with another avocado, regardless of the age of that second avocado, will not change the appearance of the original avocado. That is not how having sex works. It will always just look like an avocado (which cannot have sex in my opinion). This is a great example of a line that’s funny merely because it has the cadence of a joke. These are the kind of lines I thought Vern would hate, like his objection to the Vienna Boys Choir line in THE LAST BOY SCOUT.

    But anyway. Good times, foul language. I’m in.

  12. The love story is what really sold it for me. This character has heart and that showed it. It is legit not only the first love story in one of these things that really worked for me but it made the character much more endearing than the majority of superhero origin movies. Including Superman in MOS and next to Batman and Dick Grayson he is my favorite hero .

    I’m not really a Deadpool fan but I used to read X-FORCE and his first few solo minis so I’m familar enough. I’m one of those people who always prefered the original quippy but equally badass incarnation. When he was more Lobo than Ambush Bug. As an action movie fan it worked for me. He and Cable were an awesome buddy cop team.

    Not that I didn’t enjoy some of Joe Kelly’s stuff. It just lost me when it got too far gone and parody of a parody 4th wall breaking became the norm. Ironically one of the funniest jokes in the movie to me was him pointing out the metaness by breakkng the 4th wall within a 4th wall break. I credit Reynolds’ timing and delivery mostly for it’s success though. On paper I probably would’ve cringed.

  13. Love to see your review of THE TRANSPORTER: REFUELED, Vern.

  14. Well I’ll correct myself it’s the only time a love story in a superhero movie worked for me since BATMAN RETURNS. Technically not the only time.

  15. Majestyk, avocados actually have a very unusual sex life, which I would really like to think the screenwriters knew when they wrote that line, since it plugs into the whole pansexual vibe. Of course, you’re right that one thing having sex with another similar thing will not generate offspring that are more inherently “thingy”. Maybe the joke here is that while avocados are essentially hermaphrodite, the male and female organs are active at different times: they can’t have sex with themselves.

    Sorry, the stuff a person knows! I think I’m overthinking this.

  16. There was a love story? I must have missed it.

  17. I feel I need to apologize my negativity here, because I don´t want to be a hater and I don´t felt I came across like it. But I feel left out here. Everyone likes it. Why can´t I like it?

  18. Sure, my experience was possibly poisoned by the butt-tickling sounding laughter of some asshole behind me, but I refuse to believe that. Sure, I was dragged along to a movie I never believed in. Damn, DEADPOOL might be my cinematic existential crisis. Shit.

  19. I have to agree with Broddie, the love story was unexpectedly very well done, and it made the entire thing work for me. It showed that Wade has a soul deep down, and Vanessa is a very atypical love interest for a movie like this, proud of her sex worker status and dirty-minded as all fuck, but it’s portrayed as a positive trait. It’s overall a surprisingly progressive-minded movie, for being so low-brow at other times.

  20. My theory Shoot, is that if Deadpools face resembled the offspring of an avocado AND a feather-tickled arse, you would have been right on board. But I’m just speculating of course….

  21. This movie fucking rules, I was kind of blown away by it to be honest, I just saw it the other day, I was a little skeptical at first but I’m super glad I gave it a chance.

    There’s three things that make this movie great 1. Despite the dirty humor, it’s never mean spirited, I think that’s one key difference between it and something like KICK-ASS, 2. Despite all the silliness there’s an actual emotional core to the movie and moments where it stops being so silly and actually expects you to get invested in the characters, which I did, on top of that I found Franics to be a legitimately intimidating villain and guy you love to hate and want to see get their ass kicked, I got pretty damn pumped during the fight sequence when Wade attempts his escape. and lastly 3. Ryan Reynolds completely nails it as Deadpool, the guy IS Deadpool, it’s one of those instances where an actor fully embodies a superhero, in the vein of Christopher Reeve as Superman, Michael Keaton as Batman, Hugh Jackman as Wolverine and Robert Downey Jr. as Iron Man.

    I loved it and I can’t wait for the sequel.

  22. In fact if I have any complaint at all it’s that I wish there was just a little time spent with Deadpool just being Deadpool, it’s too bad many of his adventures had to be shortened into a montage, but I guess that’s a good sign when the biggest complaint you have with a movie is that you wish there was more if it, right?

    Also Vern, I knew you’d compare it to DARKMAN.

  23. “He’s like some sort of pervert ninja Bugs Bunny”

    Thanks for this, Vern. Now I can perfectly describe the ideal Deadpool in four words. I dunno how I didn’t make the Bugs Bunny connection before. Maybe I need to see the movie one more time.

  24. Crushinator Jones

    March 1st, 2016 at 8:30 am

    “butt-tickling-sounding laughter” is the phrase that pays. Good job Shoot.

  25. Oh man, that Bugs Bunny comparison is awesome! Now I feel it makes more sense somehow.

  26. I enjoyed DEADPOOL. But in the weeks after it opened, I fear it might end up being the worst thing to happen to fandom in awhile. (That whole debate over that R-rated BVS cut on home video gave me a headache. Nevermind it’s just friggin silly.)

    But we got 3rd R-rated Wolverine movie at least. I know Mr. Majestyk certainly appreciates that as well. Thanks Wade!

  27. “OMG! FIRST R-RATED SUPER HERO MOVIE! MAKE THEM ALL HARD R FROM NOW ON! FUCK YEAH!”

  28. It’s a miracle that they haven’t announced reshoots to make SUICIDE SQUAD rated R yet.

  29. They can just add some blood and f-bombs in post.

  30. My guess would be that the editors of SUICIDE SQUAD have thus far been working overtime to get it as close to the edge of the R-rating as the PG-13 would allow. I doubt they’d have to shoot any more footage to get there.

  31. They can add an extra cock shot from the public domain porn library to get some “controversial” material in there to make it edgy and anarchaic.

  32. They could CGI the pants off Killer Croc and add a reptilian penis!

  33. Deadshot could pull off gratuitous headshots which always end with us seeing him pointing a smoking barrell through the gaping holes in his victim’s skulls.

  34. Enchantress will now wear nothing but her headpiece.

  35. George Sanderson

    March 3rd, 2016 at 2:01 pm

    Finally got around to seeing this last night and I am surprised with how much I enjoyed it. My only previous exposure to Deadpool was through Rick Remender’s run on Uncanny X-Force and, given the team nature and Psylocke/Fantomex focus of that story, that was not the Deadpooliest of Deadpool books. It had a bit of meta-commentary though, so I was prepared for anything between 4 and 16 walls being broken.
    The plot is super simple but structured really well so you don’t have to do the typical 1 hour wait to actually see the eponymous character in an origin story.
    Reynolds really nailed the character and his timing and interactions with every other actor really sell the relationships. His line delivery was great and I’m still laughing at the throw away line “have you seen this man” when he asks a henchman if he recognizes his child-like drawing of Francis.
    Speaking of Francis, I hated Ed Skrein in this in the best possible way. A really horrible, hissable villain made all the more irritating by the fact he didn’t feel any pain.
    I’m glad Carano got to beat the shit out of a bunch of people in Haywire as she has now been beaten up by a teenage girl, CGI Russian, and Michelle Rodriguez, when in reality I’m pretty sure she is invincible.
    Anyway, I loved it.

  36. This was like two hours of watching my younger brother play X-Box Live: unengaging violence coupled with an onslaught of terrible fucking jokes. This was the worst kind of pandering. Liked the soundtrack though.

  37. CJ Holden – It won’t be R because (and this reason goes for Marvel Studios as well) of MERCHANDISE!

  38. Crushinator Jones

    March 10th, 2016 at 8:46 am

    I thought about 33% of the jokes landed, btw. But like Vern said the attitude of the movie – “fuck it, we’ll just keep doing this and see what works” – made it work.

    It’s funny how much Deadpool resembles the fat joke-spewing obnoxious vaguely pathetic horny friend from 80s movies in form and function. They just narrowed the focus of his womanizing a bit and made him ugly instead of fat. And really good with guns and swords. And, uh…fuck where was I going with this again?

  39. In an effort to provide the most enjoyable experience for adults attending R-rated features in the evenings, no children younger than 6 will be admitted to these features after 6 p.m

  40. I went into this one with my arm folded loudly proclaiming that I’m going to hate because I don’t like the character, I find his fans obnoxious, I don’t care for Ryan Reynolds (for stupid reasons), and the marketing campaign was also obnoxious. Despite that though the movie won me over and I liked it quite a bit.

    Reynolds even won me over if his real life pushing for the thing to get made and then not having me want to punch him playing the character (Two negatives creating a positive I suppose). Like you guys were saying, it was also nice to see a hard R-rated (good) action movie in theaters again after so long.

    Never thought that Deadpool would make the best X-Men movie and arguably one of the best (non-Blade 1 or 2) Marvel movies. So not that my opinion means anything but good job movie, you made a believer and supporter out of me!

  41. The Original Paul

    April 5th, 2016 at 4:35 am

    Ok, here we go. Paul eviscerates… actually, nope, I liked this one. Best X-MEN film since X2. I basically agree with Vern on this one for the most part.

    Random thoughts:

    1) The jokes were a bit hit or miss, but the ones that hit, had the audience (surprisingly large for a late Monday night screening of a three-month-old movie) in stitches. This one got a very, very positive audience reaction.
    2) Somewhere there’s a painting of Morena Baccarin that’s growing older by the day. Man, she looked good in this movie. And talking of which…
    3) Reynolds and Baccarin really nail their roles. Who’d have thought that an R-rated passion project by Ryan freakin’ Reynolds could be a better movie (by miles) than the big-budget studio production that is DAYS OF FUTURE PAST?
    4) My only gripe with this movie: the bad guys. I like Francis’ portrayal and the guy playing him makes a good hissable villain (I also like that he has a pronounced English accent after the opening credits specifically say “English villain”) but who made him? Was there actually a superhero agency at one time, then this douchebag took over by force? What kind of relationship do him and Angel Dust have? I feel like there’s an interesting story here, and we haven’t been told it. There was time in the film to really flesh this stuff out, and they didn’t.
    5) Gina Carano! I’ve missed you.
    6) Colossus! Erm… you didn’t have much to do in X2 at all, but good to see you again I guess? Also, are you now voiced by the Heavy Weapons Guy from Team Fortress 2?

    My conclusion: this is what I want from comic-book movies. Fuck your CAPTAIN ASSHOLE AND THE WINTER SOLDIERs and your DAYS OF PAST FUTUREs. Whoever’s making this shit has lost their way a long time ago. Give me some R-rated edginess like BLADE or DREDD or DEADPOOL.

  42. The Original Paul

    April 5th, 2016 at 4:53 am

    Ok, a couple more things:

    1) Gina Carano gets to put a guy made of metal into a triangle choke in this movie. Ok then!
    2) When Negasonic Teenage Warhead grows up, will she be Negasonic Adult Warhead? It didn’t escape my attention either that Colossus doesn’t seem to have any problems putting one of his students in the line of fire. Not cool!
    3) This movie takes two things that I’ve frequently complained about being misused in films in the past: rap music (I’m looking at you, THE LINCOLN LAWYER and DJANGO UNCHAINED) and slow-motion (I’m looking at you, every bad action movie from the nineties and early 00’s) and uses them well.
    4) They got 6″4 Stefan Kapičić to play Colossus’ voice, but not his body? Don’t get me wrong, it works out fine, but still… wow.
    5) Calendar Girl. Just that.

    Alright, I’m done.

  43. The Original Paul

    April 5th, 2016 at 4:54 am

    Fun fact: when a Welshman says “couple”, it doesn’t specifically refer to “two”. It can refer to any number of things. It’s a weird regional thing.

    Just throw that out there in case anybody thought I couldn’t count.

  44. About Colossus’ voice: That was a last minute change. I think the guy who played him physically was also supposed to be his voice, but then they apparently found someone they liked more during post production.

  45. The Original Paul

    April 5th, 2016 at 6:40 am

    CJ – that actually makes a lot of sense. It does make you wonder if the guy who was playing him before sounded like Graham Norton, doesn’t it?

  46. I never got the hype for this, but the Redbox and I have been on a winning streak, so figured I’d blow on those dice one more time and give this one a chance. I thoroughly enjoyed. I thought the jokes mostly worked, and the spirit of naughty mirth had me from pretty much the jump and never stopped. You could tell Ryan Reynolds was completely invested and loves this character, and that paid off. I was invested in Wade, the love story, Colossus, fire woman, taxi driver, blind housemate, bartender guy, Hugh Jackman references, all of it. Very risky stuff, easily-could-have-fallen-flat stuff like the 80s pop songs and fourth-wall-breaking totally worked. This was a great deal of fun from start to end. Nearly flawless execution.

  47. Anyone else nearly spit out their morning coffee when they heard Deadpool got a BEST PICTURE NOMINATION (Comedy or Musical) from the Golden Globes today? And Ryan Reynolds got a nomination for Best Actor? (Personally I think they screwed up by not nominating him for Best Supporting Actor for Blade III but that’s just me).

  48. Not really. Those superpowered people joints are all the rage right now and the Golden Globes has never shyed away from being trendy. If this had been the Oscar nods however….

  49. Also it’s the Comedy/Musical category. Last year SPY and TRAINWRECK were nominated, a few years ago even R.E.D. and HANGOVER. Not saying that it isn’t a nice surprise, but I’ll freak out when it gets an Oscar nod in non-technical categories.

  50. Here’s the pre-LOGAN Deadpool teaser trailer thing (NSFW, unsurprisingly):

    No Good Deed

    Wade and the other girls from the Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants plan a trip to Cabot Cove.

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