I'm not trying to be a hero! I'M FIGHTING THE DRAGON!!

Vern’s Ultimate look at the TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE Ultimate 2-disc DVD!!!

Ahoy, squirts! Quint here to intro Vern and his look at a DVD I’m certainly picking up for this Halloween season: the newly spiffed up TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE SE. Vern goes through all the reasons this is better than the previous editions and some area where it isn’t, then wraps up the whole shebang with a final verdit. Is it worthy or unworthy? See for yourself!!!

Well friends, we all agree that THE TEXAS CHAIN SAW MASSACRE is one of the greatest films in the history of American independent cinema, etc. etc.

[imagine 30,000 words here about why I love this movie. And believe me, I could do it.]

[Okay, maybe I’d have to pad it out by going off on a tangent about how underrated part 2 is, and why I hate the remake, and I’d have to spell “alot” as two words, but I could still make it to 30,000.]

[Seriously, you piss me off and I WILL do it. I’m ITCHING to do it. Don’t test me.]

The Texas Chain Saw MassacreBut why in God’s name do we need another DVD release of it is the question. Anchor Bay hasn’t got their paws on it so it’s not to an ARMY OF DARKNESS crisis level yet, but I would’ve figured you couldn’t have a more definitive, a more special, or a more ULTIMATE edition than my treasured ‘Pioneer Special Edition’. I never did pick up the penultimate ‘If We Change The Cover It Counts As A New Edition Edition’ from 2003 (the one with the picture of meat on the back). So I’m not always a mark for these sloppy seconds or whatever you call it. But for this one I bit.

So what, you’re asking, is supposed to be so god damn ULTIMATE about this edition? First of all, they spelled the name right. CHAIN SAW, two words, not one. You gotta get it right because there’s another movie out there with a similar title http://www.aintitcool.com/node/16307 that you might get it confused with. CHAINSAW is some shitty movie from 2003 about an evil musclehead who chases glisteningly spray-on sweaty attractive people through spooky, foggy slaugherhouse sets because the other kids picked on him when he was little. Also he cut off Harry’s head I believe. That one’s CHAINSAW one word. CHAIN SAW two words is the raw, authentically sweaty American classic, so I’m glad they got that right finally.

There are basically two reasons why this version is ULTIMATE, and why I spent my hard earned cash on it. One reason for each disc. One for each word in CHAIN SAW.

REASON ONE: THE DOCUMENTARIES

This new edition from Dark Sky Films (TCSM2-DUE) includes two very good 70-some minute documentaries that were not on the Pioneer version. One is THE SHOCKING TRUTH which has been around since at least 2002, so some of you might’ve seen it already (I never managed to get ahold of it before). The other is FLESH WOUNDS: SEVEN STORIES OF THE SAW which is brand new made for the purpose of ultimateness and somehow manages to find a couple new angles on the Chain Saw phenomenon.

THE SHOCKING TRUTH is probaly the best all around documentary about CHAIN SAW. They talk to all the actors you’d expect them to talk to (even Jim Siedow [the cook] and Paul Partain [whiny fuckin Franklin], who both have passed away now), plus Tobe Hooper, co-writer Kim Henkel, mad genius art director Robert Burns, even sound effects/co-composer Wayne Bell. They go through the whole history of the thing, the production, the time when Hooper was editing and scoring it in his house and nobody thought it would be any good, the time when it was released by the mafia and made millions of dollars and they ended up with $47 royalty checks.

If you’re like me you enjoy going over this stuff but know most of it from the previous documentaries, the old commentary track and the companion book. So I was most excited for the little section where they go briefly into the sequels. Part 3 director Jeff Burr claims that everybody in Hollywood turned down the movie before he took it and specifically names John McNaughton (WILD THINGS) and Peter Jackson (BAD TASTE). Also you hear sad stories about Gunnar Hansen not being offered more than scale for 2 or 3 and having to turn them down on principle. I think only one of the sequels is good but I’m always interested in this “how it could have been” and “what the hell they thought they were doing” business. And Burr seems pretty realistic about how not very good his movie is. (It does have its moments.)

SHOCKING TRUTH even has clips from Jeff Krulik’s TCSM 20th Anniversary home video he used to sell on his websight. The video is just his raw camcorder footage of hanging out with the CHAIN SAW cast at a horror convention. There’s a sad scene where almost nobody shows up for the screening of the movie and a classic tangent where he talks to a freako evil Harry twin who claims to admire Ed Gein. SHOCKING TRUTH cribs the funny part where Krulik asks a tiny little kid what his favorite scene in the movie is and the kid says “Leatherface!”

The new documentary FLESH WOUNDS is more for the drooling maniac fans like myself and that little kid. At the beginning you have to wonder how they could have anything new to say, especially since their opening mimics the text crawl and camera flashes of the actual movie’s opening, and THE SHOCKING TRUTH already did the same thing. But they did a good job of finding some new stories. There’s an interview with cinematographer Daniel Pearl, who coincidentally also shot that CHAINSAW one word movie, and talks about that a little. They show a hilarious still photo of that movie’s director, Marcus “Poo-Poo Platter” Nispel, wearing a huge fur coat and a cowboy hat. They also interview W.E. Barnes, the plastic surgeon who, for fun, got the job of turning 18-year-old John Dugan into 100-something Grandpa. And do you remember years ago when there was a dude with a websight where he tried to visit the TCSM filming locations, and he revealed that the house had been taken apart and moved 100 miles away and re-opened as a restaraunt? One of the segments is about that dude, and he conducts a tour of the house as it exists now as the Four Bears Restaurant. And another segment is about horror conventions with CHAIN SAW actors. There is no section on John Larroquette, unfortunately. Now THAT would be ultimate.

The two segments that have the most overlap with the other extras are the interviews with Ed Neal and Gunnar Hansen. Neal’s hitchhiker character is my favorite part of the movie, so I don’t want to disrespect him. But in the spirit of honesty I gotta note that he has a Robin Williams-like tendency to cram 35 gratuitous impressions into every story he tells. But it’s a good interview, and the Hansen one is even better. Alot of actors who were in one big horror movie years ago then went on to normal lives seem to get kind of goofy when the cameras get turned on them now. It’s understandable, they like the attention. But Hansen always seems completely laid back and humble, and his interview has him in his house somewhere in Maine, talking about how he left Texas to become a writer and really didn’t realize how popular the movie was until he saw a joke about Leatherface on “Cheers.” Luckily I don’t think it ruins the mystery, it’s hard to picture this big friendly dude with the Kenny Rogers beard being behind the Leatherface mask.

There actually is even more to say about the movie than what’s in these two features. My personal favorite documentary on the topic is THE TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE: A FAMILY PORTRAIT by Brad Shallady (not included – maybe they are waiting for the HD super blue ray two-download special supremacy edition). That’s just a raw interview movie that only talks to the actors playing the Texas Chain Saw family members. They tell the story of the grueling shoot and, especially during the extended discussion of how the dinner scene went down, it seems to give a little bit of an explanation of why the movie feels so authentic. The modest and soft-spoken Gunnar Hansen describes a moment when he sort of snapped and thought he really was supposed to kill Marilyn Burns, and it’s pretty creepy. In other footage Jim Siedow seems like a nice old man and Edwin Neal is just a hyperactive movie memorabilia salesman, but in this movie, as they reminisce about the filming, you can glimpse a little bit of their characters in them. Siedow, for example, seems a little too amused when describing how he really hit Marilyn Burns with a broom.

But these two ULTIMATE documentaries are much more slickly produced and all encompassing, giving you stories from the perspective of the other actors and behind the scenes people, so they are at least a good addition to FAMILY PORTRAIT. Maybe even better.

TWO: THE TRANSFER

The Pioneer version had “a new widescreen Digital Superscan transfer supervised by Director Tobe Hooper” and it looked good. This one has the “New High Definition transfer from the 16mm camera originals.” It’s also “Anamorphic Widescreen, Enhanced for [your rich friends who have] 16×9 TVs.”

And there really is a difference. It looks clearer and, I don’t know, crispier. The blood, when there is any, looks a little redder. The sky looks bluer. Don’t get me wrong, it still looks pretty raw, but it probaly looks prettier than it’s ever looked before. At first I wasn’t sure what to make of this. Is a “better” transfer really, in fact, BETTER for a movie like this? Is it even natural? What would the Bible say about this? Years ago I saw it on a not-remastered VHS tape and thought it was supposed to look shitty, I thought that was part of what made it so scary. When I saw a better version I realized that it still was scary. But do I really want it to keep getting cleaner and clearer? How much more of this “improvement” can the movie take?

I don’t have a way of comparing them side by side, but I did watch some of my favorite parts and then pop in the old Pioneer version and take a look again. I really realized how clear it was when I looked at the hitchhiker’s birthmark or face smudge or whatever that thing is and thought, “Hey, that’s just some red Halloween makeup.” So maybe for some of you it will be TOO good of a transfer. But after watching it for a while I realized I really like it. It looks great. I’m sold.

AND BY THE WAY: THE EXTRAS

Most of the stuff from the Pioneer version is still on there. I believe all the same deleted scenes, outtakes and raw footage are there, although they are now just strung together instead of separated out with explanations and script excerpts. If you aren’t much of a fan this will be horse shit to you, but if you’re obsessed like me it’s a revelation the first time you see it. There’s all kinds of raw footage of the house so you can see the weird skeletal furniture close up and notice all kinds of details you never caught before. They also have the shot of a dead dog that was supposed to open the film (they decided it was too gross and went with the armadillo) and a really nice shot of hitchhiker laying dead on the hot cement that would’ve made his death more convincing if they could’ve fit it in there.

The one area I noticed being un-ultimate is the trailer gallery. They have the original trailers, TV and radio spots and a few trailers for unrelated Dark Sky releases like HENRY PORTRAIT OF A SERIAL KILLER 2. But they must not have had the rights to the Chain Saw sequel trailers that Pioneer had. The only reason why I care is because I have a soft spot for the ridiculous Part 3 teaser that parodies EXCALIBUR and has that lake lady throwing a shiny magic chain saw to Leatherface. (Although this Leatherface looks like a complete chump.)

The most significant new extra besides the documentaries is a new commentary track with Marilyn Burns (Sally), Paul Partain (Franklin), Allen Danziger (Jerry) and most ultimately Robert Burns. (Edwin Neal’s also on there for a minute because they call him on the phone at the end.) It’s not hugely enlightening but there are a couple things of note. They discuss the remake for a little bit, and all seem to agree that it’s too slick, not scary and doesn’t capture the personality of Leatherface. (They don’t mention Marcus Nispel’s fur coat and cowboy hat combo but my guess is they would be against it.)

And then there’s the part about the swing in front of the house. To me the most ULTIMATE thing about this edition is the added glimpses of the late Robert Burns, who I have always suspected deserves alot of credit for the movie’s greatness. When he speaks on the commentary track it’s great because he’s the guy who knows the mentality of the family and the thinking behind their home. He talks about one thing I don’t remember ever hearing before – he actually built that swing, because it’s supposed to belong to Leatherface. He’s a big kid so he likes to swing. (I wonder if the cook has to push him?) I always assumed the swing was just at the house where they filmed but they actually built it out of railroad trestles with a wide seat to accommodate the big guy. That’s the kind of attention to detail they insisted on despite the low budget. I guess if it was a Hollywood movie they could’ve done a whole playground made out of bones, with slides and see saws and everything.

Man, what if they had come to the house and seen Leatherface playing on the swings, they might’ve gotten scared by his mask and left, and it would’ve saved them alot of trouble. Instead, stupid Kirk has to poke his head in the slaughter room and get hammered. Dumb stupid luck I guess.

Anyway, Robert Burns was a genius. He did production design for THE HILLS HAVE EYES and built the creepy mannequins in TOURIST TRAP. But CHAIN SAW is obviously his masterpiece because he’s the guy who gathered up the hundreds of animal bones and parts, built all the strange furniture and objects, and of course created the Leatherface masks themselves. In THE SHOCKING TRUTH you hear some of his thought process behind those things. He criticizes Tom Savini’s Leatherface mask for part 2, saying it looks “art directed” and not like something Leatherface could make himself. (No comment on the ugly masks for parts 3 and 4 or the ridiculous evil-browed monstrosity in the remake.)

For the Robert Burns bits alone, this set is way more ultimate than the Pioneer. And then you got the non-Robert Burns parts of the two documentaries, the new transfer, etc. But if you’re STILL not sold, the set comes in a METAL case. Made out of real metal. NO other Texas Chain Saw Massacre edition has ever been in a metal case. This is history right here, people. You can put magnets on it and everything.

So if you’re one of the many proud Americans and/or world citizens who consider THE TEXAS CHAIN SAW MASSACRE one of your favorite movies, even if you already have the ‘Pioneer Special Edition’ or the ‘Maybe With This Cover Stupid People Will Think It’s the Remake Edition,’ and ESPECIALLY if you don’t have a refrigerator – then I would recommend this one.

Well, that’s enough CHAIN SAW excitement for today. But just wait until two weeks from now when I get ahold of the double penetration release (I don’t think that’s the right word) of the sorely underrated TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE PART 2. I already have that one on DVD too but it’s a much less covered topic so I can’t wait to see the extras on there. See ya then ya hog bitches.

Originally posted at Ain’t-It-Cool-News: http://www.aintitcool.com/node/30188

View the archived Ain’t-It-Cool-News Talkback

  • Sept. 25, 2006, 12:49 p.m. CST

    God bless you Vern.

    by brycemonkey

    That is all.

  • Sept. 25, 2006, 12:51 p.m. CST

    Why do we need another DVD release of it?

    by DerLanghaarige

    Because if it sells good enough, it finally comes to Germany! Now, that the movie isn’t banned anymore Or is it again? Every German DVD of Chain Saw (5 minutes ago I would have written “Chainsaw”! Shame on me…)sucks a million donkey cocks!

  • Sept. 25, 2006, 12:51 p.m. CST

    P.S.:

    by DerLanghaarige

    That DVD sounds fucking sweet!

  • Sept. 25, 2006, 12:55 p.m. CST

    Umm…

    by kbass

    Despite being trumpeted as “Ultimate,” “Greatest,” “Bestest” or just “Stuff you’ve never seen before!” This is still a double (triple? quadruple?) dip and it drives me crazy. I won’t be buying it, both on principal and the fact I already have a pretty good version of the film.

  • Sept. 25, 2006, 1 p.m. CST

    Yeah, I already have one of the previous SEs

    by brycemonkey

    I’m not sure that I’d want to double dip it (or get sloppy seconds). To be truthful I don’t watch it all that often… and I love horror.

  • Sept. 25, 2006, 1:08 p.m. CST

    webSITE not webSIGHT

    by whoopdeedoo

    Just wanted to point that out to Vern since he got so hung up on the spelling of chain saw. Nice review though. I may have to check this one out. I’m not much of a chain saw fan but hey it comes in a metal case so it has to be good, right?

  • Sept. 25, 2006, 1:14 p.m. CST

    sounds like a purchase

    by imkindofabigdeal

    Is the newest one going to be a total suckfest????

  • Sept. 25, 2006, 1:20 p.m. CST

    Sigh. Isn’t this like the 17th time on DVD?

    by Trazadone

    Seriously, is anyone out there so intrigued about the “extras” that they would purchase this once again? I’m fully expecting that Evil Dead will soon come out in a “Super-Duper edition, now with commentary from the key grip!” God, who cares.

  • Sept. 25, 2006, 1:26 p.m. CST

    Actually, Vern, “alot” is not a word…

    by Ace Hunter

    … it is “a lot”. Yes. I am a spelling nazi. Thanks for the DVD review. It’s on my “must-buy” list now.

  • Sept. 25, 2006, 1:46 p.m. CST

    Guys, seriously, stop correcting Vern’s spelling…

    by raw_bean

    He knows how to spell. The ‘alot’ thing was a joke and he always deliberately mis-spells website. If you’re ever inclined to think Vern’s made a mistake of some kind in a review, stop and read it again and you’ll usually find it’s a joke.

  • Sept. 25, 2006, 1:58 p.m. CST

    come on

    by axemurder

    you bastards! How can yo not want to buy this and see leatherface do the dance of love with chainsaws better than you never seen it before?? oh people don’t let me down, this is awesome and a must buy for halloween time.

  • Sept. 25, 2006, 2:09 p.m. CST

    to Trazadone

    by Vern

    I think my review already answered your question in detail. I did buy it and I do care. They don’t send me review copies. I was able to pull some strings to sneakily get mine a couple days early, but I did pay for it, and I am not in a position where I can afford to buy all the DVDs I want. But I’m glad I bought it. If you’re not convinced by what I said above then definitely do not buy it. But I think people like Chickychow who share my obsession with this movie will be impressed by the new edition. Plus, there’s probaly somebody out there who doesn’t have the old editions, or who stepped on their old one and crushed it so they have been waiting for a new version where the case is made out of metal.

  • Sept. 25, 2006, 2:29 p.m. CST

    which edition?

    by radjac33

    the meat packers edition

  • Sept. 25, 2006, 2:34 p.m. CST

    You know, Vern…

    by Childe Roland

    …usually I’m right with you in terms of cinematic tastes, but where TCM is concerned, I’ve never been able to get over the feeling that this movie was grossly overrated. Maybe it’s because I had to wait until I was nearly thirteen and sleeping over at a friend’s house to see it (this movie was the one my parents absolutely forbade me to see – based solely on it’s rep) and, by then, it’d been hyped to me by an older friend beyond any hope of living up to itself. But compared to some of the other classic horror I’d been exposed to by then (NOTLD, Halloween, The Thing, Nightmare on Elm Street) it seemed downright lame. Maybe if I’d been old enough to catch it in the theater instead of having to wait for the tape (can’t recall if we watched it on BETA or VHS) I’d have the same reverence for it that so many seem to have, but if you sat me down with a DVD player and the choice between watching the original and the remake, I’d pick Jessica Biel’s bouncy, moist pair and some quality R. Lee insanity every time. I agree with you that the sequel’s underrated, though. That I dug.This “Ultimate” DVD set? I’ll pass.

  • Sept. 25, 2006, 2:51 p.m. CST

    Childe: right on.

    by brycemonkey

    I guess I’m younger than you but never saw it until I got a SE on DVD. As I said above I like it but don’t really feel the need to watch it often. Prehaps it’s impact on subsequent movies makes the originator seem, well, less compelling. Although I’m not sure about the remake (even with bouncy Biel boobies). There is a time and a place for BBB but not in serious movies ;-)

  • Sept. 25, 2006, 2:52 p.m. CST

    Mr. Roland

    by Vern

    I think this came up before, but I can’t remember – did you ever go back and watch it again? If not, you seriously should rent this version and watch it. Most of what’s great about this movie is not something you can appreciate at 13. Plus, seeing it widescreen will make a hell of a difference. I really think if you watch it and are not sold you will at least agree that it’s better than that Jessica Biel horse shit. R. Lee Ermey is good in that but not as good as Jim Siedow.

  • Sept. 25, 2006, 3:06 p.m. CST

    Plasma Burn-In…and other myths.

    by Praetorius

    Why on earth would you call a 16×9 tv expensive?

    They’re $500. If you read this site then you care how your movies look.

    Give me a fucking break.

  • Sept. 25, 2006, 4:12 p.m. CST

    I have to admit, Vern…

    by Childe Roland

    …I didn’t get around to renting and rewatching this. I was gearing up toward it with House of 1000 Corpses and Devil’s Rejects a couple months ago, but my wife’s reaction to those two-in-a-row selections got me temporarily banned from renting anything without prior consultation/authorization (some crap about her needs not being met by my choices…blah, blah, blah). She’s going out of town for the night in a couple of weeks, so I’ll put this in the queue and give it another run then.

  • Sept. 25, 2006, 4:28 p.m. CST

    I much prefer Ultimate Leatherface to 616 Leatherface.

    by OBSD

    Heh… I’m a dork.

  • Sept. 25, 2006, 4:30 p.m. CST

    Praetorius

    by Vern

    you’re probaly right bud. If you want to dig up some change from your couch to buy me one of those things I’ll give you the mailing address. thanks in advance friend.

  • Sept. 25, 2006, 4:35 p.m. CST

    Vern, what is the status of the Seagalogy

    by comedian_x

    book. This has nothing to do with chain saws or chainsaws, but I need to know.

  • Sept. 25, 2006, 4:43 p.m. CST

    “What does the Bible say about this?”

    by Some Dude

    Outstanding, Vern. Outstanding.

  • Sept. 25, 2006, 5:02 p.m. CST

    I found the 2003 DVD

    by Mechasheeva

    for 3.50 at a Gamestop brand new. The best moment in my life, probably.

  • Sept. 25, 2006, 5:26 p.m. CST

    Groovy trailer

    by Subovon

    I’m glad to hear someone else likes the TX Chainsaw 3 trailer, too. I also have a soft spot for how silly it is. I feel the same way about the similar trailer to Friday the 13th part 8: Jason Takes Manhattan. Great trailer for a terrible z-grade flick.

  • Sept. 25, 2006, 7:28 p.m. CST

    Comedian #X

    by Vern

    The status of Seagalogy is still work in progress, but I’m getting there. I’m trying to kick it into high gear. I have a goal for when I want it to be done, but I’m not gonna say when it is because if it’s not good enough then I’m gonna keep working. But right now I’m going back through all the chapters, filling in holes where I didn’t finish things and fine tuning what’s there. Thanks for asking. Hopefully you will like it, sorry to keep you waiting.

  • Sept. 25, 2006, 8:26 p.m. CST

    There’s no such word as ‘alot’

    by Hamish

    Ask your English teacher. It’s a made up word. Like ‘nizzle’.

  • Sept. 25, 2006, 8:51 p.m. CST

    I always thought it would make a great commercial…

    by Zeke25:17

    …if Husqvarna ran an ad for their chainsaws (yes, that’s ONE WORD, dammit, just like “a lot” is two) in which some guy whose face you never see says something like: “You know, when you’re a mass murderer, you need a chainsaw that can cut through all kinds of things. Torsos, necks, legs, you name it. Also, it has to take the punishment of constant jostling when you’re running through the woods after some nubile coed who weighs maybe one-fifteen tops, and can run a lot faster than you! That’s why I always go with Husqvarna. And with the backsplash shield, there’s much less blood getting on your clothes, which will make your Maw really happy.” Sales would go through the roof, huh? And by the way, I LIKED the remake, and offer a big fat bronx cheer to those who don’t. (Or, as Opus might have said: PRBBBLBBBT!)

  • Sept. 25, 2006, 9 p.m. CST

    The remake…

    by jojo-pimp

    damn…the remake really was not that bad!! I mean, I am definately one of those who is opposed to all the shitty remakes of recent years, but as far as the hollywoodized remakes of recent years go, that one was pretty decent, and introduced a whole new generation to Leatherface.

  • Sept. 25, 2006, 10:01 p.m. CST

    the fucking remake

    by Vern

    Well no, I wouldn’t hate the remake as much if I didn’t love the real one so much. And I do have a couple nice things to say about it. I liked the part where fake Leatherface had a mask that was identifiable as the dude he just killed (Eric Balfour I think). R. Lee Ermey is good and is about the only one who seems to be familiar with the spirit of the original movie. However, he does not have the depth of Jim Siedow’s character who he’s based on, because Siedow’s cook keeps apologizing and trying to be polite while also getting a kick out of torturing Sally, and R. Lee’s is just straight up evil and perverted. Also it is nicely shot. Otherwise though it just made me mad because it took everything that is so great and genuine about the original and replaced it with corny Hollywood bullshit. Instead of just being some kids visiting their old family property, now they’re guilty because they’re smuggling pot (slasher movie cliche invented after TCSM) and are connected to the girl’s suicide (I KNOW WHAT YOU DID LAST SUMMER). Instead of the indecipherable features of Leatherface’s masks you get a monstrous evil brow, like he purposely made the mask to look like a spooky demonic Halloween mask. Instead of the mystery of who the fuck these guys are you get a ridiculous backstory about Leatherface being picked on as a kid (that one still makes me curse). Instead of actual Texans dressed like real people you got WB actors wearing cowboy hats and faking stereotypical twangs. Instead of the incredibly tense chase across the property you get this Renny Harlin haunted house shit where she hides in a slaughterhouse and gets frightened by rats. Might as well have had some bats flying through there too. And no dinner scene, and very little family interaction, like they thought it was only about Leatherface. I don’t mean to be a snob, you guys have every right to enjoy this movie, but can’t you see how somebody who loves the original would be pissed off by that shit? Imagine if Michael Bay remade your favorite transformables or whatever, and seemed like he didn’t even know what it was or that anybody gave a shit about it. THAT’S how I feel. That is my pain. Times ten. Minus flames.

  • Sept. 25, 2006, 10:16 p.m. CST

    God Bless Don May Jr. and Darkskys for this DVD

    by sentient

    I’m a self proclaimed TCSM fan. I’ve been trying to resculpt a perfect spot on replica of the Hunter Killer mask for ages now.

    With this DVD I shall finally finish one such attempt that has been resting in a black plastic garbage bag in my closet for over a year now with 2 years worth of free time worked on it! I’ve analyzed Internet posted selected screencaps between the Pioneer/MPI DVD and the Darksky Version and there is a massive difference! To give you an idea of what kind of mental torture I put myself through in trying to recapture shape perfect the look of the HK mask well lets just say that I’ve watched, paused, and frame advanced the Leatherface panic in the rocking chair many many times- for 4 or more hours a day 2-3 times a week for over 2 years!

    I saw nice high res screen caps of this very scene from Horrordvd.com and I’m sold. Fuck that!! I was sold 2 years ago when this was announced. I own the Laserdisc- no player. I own the shitty wrong transfer Pioneer DVD, and the 2003 version which has a different moon dissolve, I even have a few VHS copies as well as a Betamax version.

    This is no double dip. it’s not from MPI or Pioneer. The same guy who did the original Laserdisc version. Mr Don May- remastered this version. It’s not the same one that on the 1999 DVD or the 2003. No this isn’t even the same one that Don May made 1080p for MonsterHD. No this is a total rescan of the original 16mm eco at near 4k resolution. Using some of the same machines used on the Remastered Star Wars DVD.

    Theres a big difference is that the film grain isn’t gone but the artifacts and film tears are- the color isn’t punched up it’s honest color now. The image quality is night and Day. the laserdisc is better than the MPI Pioneer DVD. MPI use The wrong Transfer and unfinished version of the Transfer made for the Laserdisc for that DVD.

    If your a real TCSM fan then you need to know this is the DVD to own! There is a 1080i HD version of this transfer, but it wont come out for a long long time…. It wont come out until one of these new HD players/formats takes a real hold and healthy sales can be made. —————————–

    The right guy worked on this DVD- he wasn’t part of the Pioneer/MPI DVD- They retransfered that transfer behind his back. Sure it was his transfer made for the LAserdisc on that DVD all-be-it the wrong one. Now he’s back! And this is his statement, his testament he skill set. He put oddles of time into this remaster for the fans like him. Damn it this is no double dip. this is the one! Don May will also work on a DVD for Anchorbay containing all of the unused original Camera negatives film found from John Carpenters Halloween for it’s 30th anniversary. Michael dies in the end on one roll of film. Don’t underestimate it!

  • Sept. 25, 2006, 10:29 p.m. CST

    imagecompare

    by sentient

    http://tinyurl.com/hysxy

    You can now see the image information on the side of the mask thats hidden the shadows in this scene on the darksky release (even more so if you brighten up the image) the color of Gunnars eyelids is present as well as his eye color and the cones in that eye + I can count the eyelashes on the eyeholes in the mask now as well as see whats really in the head damaged area of that mask. Fuck the older MPI release! Fuck it in it’s wrong transfered ass!

  • Sept. 25, 2006, 10:28 p.m. CST

    Thanks for answering. The wait is no problem.

    by comedian_x

    However, I wouldn’t want any other author to get the jump on you and publish it first. Although I am sure yours will be the definitive version no matter what.

  • Sept. 26, 2006, 10:37 a.m. CST

    Wake me when they do a deluxe edition of TCM2.

    by rev_skarekroe

    Seriously, most people don’t give that one nearly enough credit. Also, do we really need a “crisper” version of the original? Ideally, this is a film that should be shown on a grainy old 16mm projector in someone’s basement for maximum horror effect. Leave the super-clean digital whojamawhutsits to Lucas and Spielberg.

  • Sept. 26, 2006, 11:34 a.m. CST

    sentient wins

    by where_are_quints_hobbit_set_reports

    Now THAT’s a fan!

    P.S. FUCK THE REMAKE(S)

  • Sept. 26, 2006, 12:48 p.m. CST

    Remake was shit

    by magic_ninja

    70’s era Jessica Biel wearing modern day lowrider jeans? Wait, how do you know they’re in the 70’s? Oh, that’s right, they’re going to a SKYNARD show and they hope they play FREE BIRD. The remake fucking sucked and anyone that thinks it was better than the original is a fucking moron.

  • Sept. 26, 2006, 1:51 p.m. CST

    Rev. Skarekroe: Wake up!

    by FatPaul

    Yeah, they’re doing a deluxe edition of TCM2. It comes out on the 10th. I think Vern mentioned it in the article. They’re calling it the “Gruesome Edition.”

  • Sept. 26, 2006, 4:13 p.m. CST

    Thanks for the info, FatPaul

    by rev_skarekroe

    Looking forward to it!

  • Sept. 28, 2006, 12:21 p.m. CST

    Part 2

    by Vern

    I got an email from the guy who did the “FLESH WOUNDS” documentary I wrote about, and it turns out he also produced the extras for the part 2 DVD. I think this is good news, Rev Skarekroe, because it indicates they will not be half-assed filler extras, but the real deal. If anybody disagrees, a wise movie character once said, “lick my plate ya dog dick.”

  • Sept. 28, 2006, 9:30 p.m. CST

    spoof

    by zepfer

    any one remember the sctv skit where johncandy and joe flaherty walk through a door dressed as hicks armed with hammeres and ogle something offscreen remarking creepily on how pretty who there looking at is then step forward and proceed to bash the hell out of a table full of chainsaws while the narrator announces the release of the film Texas Chian saw massacre?

    At least i thought it was funny, though i was twleve and had only heard of the film..

VERN has been reviewing movies since 1999 and is the author of the books SEAGALOGY: A STUDY OF THE ASS-KICKING FILMS OF STEVEN SEAGAL, YIPPEE KI-YAY MOVIEGOER!: WRITINGS ON BRUCE WILLIS, BADASS CINEMA AND OTHER IMPORTANT TOPICS and NIKETOWN: A NOVEL. His horror-action novel WORM ON A HOOK will arrive later this year.

This entry was posted on Monday, September 25th, 2006 at 12:35 pm and is filed under AICN, Horror, Reviews, Thriller. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.

22 Responses to “Vern’s Ultimate look at the TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE Ultimate 2-disc DVD!!!”

  1. It looks like the German regional court has a few days ago finally lifted the ban on this movie. That’s a pretty significant adjudgment, both in terms of cinematic and youth protection history.
    So one classic is free, several others are still waiting, including TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE 2, THE EVIL DEAD, BRAINDEAD (a.k.a. DEAD ALIVE) and the original DAWN OF THE DEAD. (I guess putting “dead” in your title is a ticket to banishment…)

  2. How do you know they’re classics if Germans are banned from seeing them? You didn’t break the law, did you?

  3. When a movie is banned, it’s not allowed to be sold or shown in Germany, but it’s legal to own it. I own EVIL DEAD on a DVD from Austria and before BRAINDEAD was banned*, it even got an uncut VHS release.

    *Or maybe the label just didn’t care, I don’t know.

  4. CJ, you need to get a projector, some speakers, a big white sheet, and copies of these banned “DEAD” movies. Organize & MC an illegal film festival at a public park, get some publicity, and stick it to The Man.

    The next time you post here, there needs to be blood dripping onto your keyboard from the handcuff wounds on your wrists.

  5. Nah, I doubt many people would show up, given that everybody who is interested in those movies has either imported uncut versions or illegally downloaded them. Also it’s not that showing banned movie would get me into really big trouble. More than a small fine wouldn’t happen to me.
    But I might do it for fun.

    BTW, the German ratings board seems to have its most liberal phase since 2005. Recently TOTAL RECALL got downgraded from “18” to “16” and even the first two HELLRAISERs are now available fully uncut for the first time ever!

  6. HI! Texas Chainsaw Massacre (1974) Black poster does anyone know where I can buy it?

    what does it cost w/ Gunnar’s autograph on?

    Please email web address to me at:
    robbanberntsson@gmail.com

    all the best / Robban

  7. Link exchange is nothing else but it is just placing the other
    person’s weblog link on your page at appropriate place and other person will also do same for you.

  8. Inconsequential but true story that happened to me this morning – I have been in the interviewing job candidates process for the past week, looking to fill a position for the company I work for. One of the questions I like to throw out is about movies (not relevant at all to the role but it’s a good ice-breaker). We had a woman come in today to be interviewed, about mid 30’s, married, very well presented, quietly spoken. So before my boss got into the heavy stuff, I asked her what her favorite movie was. She said, Oh, I like horror, mostly 70’s stuff like THE TEXAS CHAIN SAW MASSACRE, and 80’s horror, you know, before CGI kinda ruined horror movies.

    My internal monologue went something like this – !!!!!HOLY FUCK!!!!!STOP TALKING, YOU HAD ME AT ‘HORROR’!!!!I WOULD LOVE TO GIVE YOU THIS JOB BUT I AM BEING BIASED BECAUSE YOU JUST NAME-DROPPED TEXAS FUCKING CHAIN SAW!!!!DO YOU HAVE A TWIN SISTER?!!!!!ARE YOU SURE YOU LOVE YOUR HUSBAND?!!!!

    I know there’s plenty of women out there who love horror, and who know why they love it, but I sure don’t meet them everyday.

    Yes, today was a good day. Let it be known.

  9. R.I.P. Gunnar Hansen, the first and still best Leatherface. You were a maniac and a gentleman, good sir.

  10. I’ll join Majestyk in wishing R.I.P. to Gunnar Hansen, who by all accounts was a lovely man and gave terrific, horrifying, occasionally even sympathetic performances as Leatherface.

    And F.U.C.K. Y.O.U. to Andrew Bryniarski, who played Leatherface as a hacky, one-note rage monster, and who has been a colossal dick on Facebook about Hansen’s passing.

  11. Welp, looks like the search for the worst person ever is over. Good job, everybody. We got ‘im.

  12. But who would have thought we’d find the worst person ever on the internet of all fool places!

  13. The Original... Paul

    November 9th, 2015 at 3:19 pm

    Mr S – it just goes to show that you really can get everything on the internet.

    And on a more sombre note, my sincere condolences to the family and friends of Mr Hansen, whose work has made a disproportionately large impact on me for the relatively small amount that I’ve seen. That final shot of the dancing Leatherface in the original TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE has been one of those images from a movie that has stayed with me for years.

  14. Just after the awesome collectors edition blu-ray announcement of part 2 about a week ago we get this very sad news regarding the TEXAS CHAINSAW dynasty. May Gunnar Hansen’s soul enjoy that runny cannibal household on the other side of life.

  15. By the way, other than TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE I’ve only seen him as the cult leader in the dumb/fun HOLLYWOOD CHAINSAW HOOKERS, did he have any other interesting roles? I’m curious to see him in more stuff but so many horror icons wind up in barely watchable movies.

  16. I don’t remember seeing him in anything else–though I must have seen HOLLYWOOD CHAINSAW HOOKERS at some point—but I always appreciated that the man-mountain behind the human flesh mask was a thoughtful, soft-spoken academic. I like those kinds of contradictions in people.

  17. Broddie- What new special edition of TCM2? Is it similar to this?

    http://img.tradera.net/images/035/214796035_e9a24ce4-c7c4-4aa8-8ad8-582527a6a0db.jpg

  18. They haven’t announced the extras on the Scream Factory one. I’m hoping they’ll have EGGSHELLS on there like that Arrow edition, but that’s probly a long shot. That edition looks beautiful, but I don’t have a region free blu-ray player (only dvd).

  19. EGGSHELLS is an interesting experimental film. It definitely has the hallmark of a debut director trying to find a style. The film tries to blend some art styles that were in vogue at the time, the more fly on the wall direct cinema style with a lot more experimental stuff. It´s not a consistent movie at all, but very interesting to watch, especially the experimental stuff. You can defintely see an enormous improvement of Hoopers handling of thh craft in TCM by blending both styles much more coherent. Here it feels like two different films.

  20. Mr Majestyk, you must have seen Reykjavik Whale Watching Massacre?

  21. FYI, Amazon Prime has a 4k(!) version of the original TCM streaming for free. I decided to give it my first rewatch in probably 30 years, and even though it’s not going to usurp Halloween or Alien on my favorite horror movie list anytime soon, I can appreciate it alot more now for what it is and what it inspired, even though alot of it hasn’t exactly “aged well”. Two notes: 1) Maybe it’s the 4kness on this transfer, but I actually think this is alot gorier than people make it out to be. People act now like it literally has no blood and it’s all left up to the imagination, but there’s definitely a fair amount of gore and the Hitchhiker getting hit by the truck is pretty gnarly. 2) For years I thought Sally threw sand in Leatherface’s eyes, making him drop the chainsaw on himself. So weird that it was really a wrench thrown by a random truck driver who inexplicably gets out of his truck when him and Sally could have driven off, and then gets ditched by Sally two seconds later and probably killed. Since practically every TCM movie seems to be some kind of reboot or prequel, I’m looking forward to the Rogue One-esque sidequel from the truck driver’s perspective.

  22. […] in Florida, Hooper was able to create a vibe of sweaty southern depravity in the tradition of THE TEXAS CHAIN SAW MASSACRE and EATEN ALIVE, but bigger – THE FUNHOUSE is a $3 million Universal […]

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