I don’t know why I never got around to seeing the THE CROW sequel from the director of SIX-STRING SAMURAI. Always was curious. Still took me 19 years. Lance Mungia’s THE CROW: WICKED PRAYER, just like the previous one, was meant for theaters, but I think it only played somewhere around here? Wiki(dprayer)pedia says its theatrical run was only in Seattle and only for one week, and I do remember seeing an ad for it and being confused, but I was thinking it was in Eastern Washington. Anyway, I didn’t go.
URBAN LEGEND (1998) is, to my mind, one of the most “obviously we’re making this because of the success of SCREAM” horror movies that exists. It’s another young-people-whodunit-slasher, with a similarly constituted cast of pretty young movie and TV stars, but instead of killings inspired by horror movie tropes, these ones are based on popular urban myths. At the time I think I took it as dumb but pretty enjoyable, which is also how I feel about it now, and about many non-classic slasher movies. Like most of them it benefits from age – it’s a time capsule now rather than the latest the genre has to offer, so we have different expectations for it. (read the rest of this shit…)
A RETURN TO SALEM’S LOT is Larry Cohen’s weirdo theatrically-released sort-of-sequel to Tobe Hooper’s TV mini-series of the Stephen King book. But really it just takes the location – the tiny town of Jerusalem’s Lot, Maine – and the idea of doing a vampire story there. It’s not the same vampire or the same type of vampire. It doesn’t connect, from what I remember. But I like that.
Joe Weber (Cohen’s muse Michael Moriarty) is an anthropologist working on a CANNIBAL HOLOCAUST type documentary when he finds he has to come home to look after his troublemaking teenage son Jeremy (one-time actor Ricky Addison Reed, who IMDb claims was cast to play Robin in Tim Burton’s BATMAN in scenes that were never filmed). Joe brings his son to the old, recently-inherited fixer-upper in his birth-town of Salem’s Lot (as some but not all abbreviate it). (read the rest of this shit…)
Before Riverdale, before the Marvel Cinematic Universe, before Christopher Nolan Batman, before 9-11 even, there was a different type of comic book movie: JOSIE AND THE PUSSYCATS. Inspired by the Archie comic book and Hanna-Barbera cartoon, writer/directors Harry Elfont & Deborah Kaplan told a goofy version of the little-rock-‘n-roll-band-tested-by-overnight-superstardom story.
Actually maybe we should forget about comics and consider this timeline: it was a year before American Idol started. The Spice Girls had packed it up the year before. NSYNC and Backstreet Boys were still popular. The movie seems to offer the Pussycats as a refreshing alternative for teenage girls to obsess over instead of boy bands, but it should be noted that Destiny’s Child, Alicia Keys, Jennifer Lopez, Janet Jackson, Brandy, Madonna, Mary J. Blige, Pink, and Aaliyah (plus Britney Spears and Jessica Simpson) all had hits that year. But I guess the Pussycats do stand out by playing instruments. Their songs are kind of sassy pop punk, not good in my opinion but not as intolerable as some in-movie music. (read the rest of this shit…)
From the director of PUNISHER #2 and the star of PUNISHER #3 comes a solid, entertaining period gangster movie. It’s a biopic of Danny Greene, an Irish American union president, gang enforcer and dodger of car bombs in Cleveland, Ohio circa early ’60s through late ’70s. If it had been done as two separate movies maybe it would’ve got an arthouse release and some critical respect, but they did it as one so it was barely released by Anchor Bay and nobody ever heard of it. (read the rest of this shit…)
What this movie is about is pie fucking. There is a kid who fucks a pie in it. There is also a guy who fucks a grapefruit apparently but you don’t see that. But this guy fucks a pie.
The version I saw is the unrated DVD, which I guess has extra pie fucking footage. in the original apparently it was a standing up with the pie position, wheras here it is a missionary position with the kid mounting the pie. The cover of the unrated DVD shows all the young gals on the cover but don’t be fooled, none of them do any pie fucking in the movie, it is only this one guy. (read the rest of this shit…)
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Recent commentary and jibber-jabber
VERN on Kill Bill: Vol. 2: “I forgot it was coming out this week but got incredibly lucky because Mrs. Vern had taken Friday off from…” Dec 6, 22:08
KayKay on Kill Bill: Vol. 2: “Stu: You lucky devil! Glad you dug it. I snagged the Japanese edition of KILL BILL Vol. 1 on DVD…” Dec 6, 17:57
Miguel Hombre on Code of Silence: “It’s safe to say Carlos Ray “Chuck” Norris contains multitudes.” Dec 6, 12:07
Mr. Majestyk on Code of Silence: “If you’re like me and you spend December looking for movies that technically qualify as Christmas movies but aren’t actually…” Dec 6, 06:13
geoffreyjar on Kill Bill: Vol. 2: “Saw it yesterday with a relative. The way QT wanted us to see it: on a DCP with a guy…” Dec 5, 20:44
Stu on Kill Bill: Vol. 2: “KayKay- It got a UK release. I saw it tonight. Enjoyed it a lot with the first half having the…” Dec 5, 20:42
Dreadguacamole on Predator: Badlands: “Of course they would only make movies about the times the predator is bested, which statistically only happens about 0.1%…” Dec 5, 17:54
KayKay on Kill Bill: Vol. 2: “Vern, you lining up for KILL BILL: THE WHOLE BLOODY AFFAIR? Color me jealous—this is one of those times I…” Dec 5, 16:41
The Allusionist on Christmas Eve in Miller’s Point: “Better yet, you could publish your Hallmark Christmas movie essentials in book form. “From the author of ‘Seagalogy…’ “” Dec 5, 12:53
Mr. Majestyk on Christmas Eve in Miller’s Point: “Vern, you should do a yearly feature on all your favorite Hallmark-style Christmas movies. I would like to delve into…” Dec 5, 10:55
Stu on Predator: Badlands: “To be fair CJ, in most movies the Predator usually kills at least 90% of the humans he fights in…” Dec 5, 07:56
KayKay on Mortal Kombat: “RIP. In the glory days of VHS carnage, two villains carved themselves into my adolescent cortex with switchblades of pure…” Dec 5, 04:45
geoffreyjar on Good Boy: “Enjoyed this one but think it would be better as a short. Hopefully we get a bunch of rip offs…” Dec 4, 20:03
URBAN LEGEND (1998) is, to my mind, one of the most “obviously we’re making this because of the success of 
A RETURN TO SALEM’S LOT is Larry Cohen’s weirdo theatrically-released sort-of-sequel to Tobe Hooper’s TV mini-series of the Stephen King book. But really it just takes the location – the tiny town of Jerusalem’s Lot, Maine – and the idea of doing a vampire story there. It’s not the same vampire or the same type of vampire. It doesn’t connect, from what I remember. But I like that.
Before 
From the director of 
What this movie is about is pie fucking. There is a kid who fucks a pie in it. There is also a guy who fucks a grapefruit apparently but you don’t see that. But this guy fucks a pie.
