a survey of summer movies that just didn’t catch on
For the momentous conclusion of the Summer Flings series, please join me on a journey down Memory Lane. Actually, just turn with me onto Memory Lane and then stop immediately, because it’s right there on the right – August 9, 2016. That’s when Paramount Pictures and MGM admitted that they had spent $100 million for Timur Bekmambetov (WANTED) to remake BEN-HUR, and that if anyone was interested it would be briefly available for public viewing.
Believe it or not I was interested, but limited showings prevented me from being able to see it in the 3D I felt would be crucial for the full ludicrousness of the director of ABRAHAM LINCOLN: VAMPIRE HUNTER‘s take on one of old Hollywood’s greatest epics, so I gave up and didn’t see it until now.
On its own merits, this BEN-HUR is fine. It’s light on the Bekmambetovian shamelessness that I was excited for, but it’s a solid enough retelling of Lew Wallace’s stirring 1880 tale of fictional Jewish elite Judah Ben-Hur, who is enslaved, freed, and returns to confront his childhood friend turned Roman Prefect Messala. (read the rest of this shit…)
A great historical epic could be made about the Tuskegee airmen, the all black squadron of American fighter pilots in WWII. That’s what George Lucas thought back in ’88 when he started developing RED TAILS. He put together a script that he compared to LAWRENCE OF ARABIA (or NED OF ARABIA to Young Indiana Jones), a three-parter about their training, then their heroic battles, and then coming home to a racist country and Jim Crow laws that don’t give a shit that they’re heroes.
Eventually he decided that was too much for one movie and, like with STAR WARS, chose the middle chapter to focus on. But he also decided that he didn’t want it to be serious grown up drama. He thought it could be a fun movie for black teenagers. It’s an approach he had trouble selling to director Anthony Hemingway (The Wire), but even more to critics, who rejected the movie wholesale, often with some shaming about the movie they thought it should’ve been. (read the rest of this shit…)
We all know the grand American tradition of the movie about the black man but in the POV of the white man. It’s the story of the civil rights struggle and the brave white FBI agent or country lawyer who stood up and made a difference, or the spunky white lady who gave the mistreated black maids of Jackson a voice, but with her name on the cover. These are well-meaning, sometimes good movies, but they’re suspect in assuming the audience can only follow if they have a white surrogate on screen. They don’t trust us to put ourselves in the shoes of black characters. If Spike Lee hadn’t made MALCOLM X I bet it would’ve been about a white dude trying to understand Malcolm X, or giving him his ideas. (read the rest of this shit…)
Before seeing SAVAGES I wanted to catch up on some of the recent Oliver Stone pictures that I’d skipped. It turns out this one is 15 years old, so you could argue that I’m a little behind on Stone. Do you guys know if JFK is any good? What about PLATOON?
This is his most straight-forward crime genre picture before SAVAGES so I figured it was a good one to check out. Based on the book Stray Dogs by John Ridley (RED TAILS, UNDERCOVER BROTHER), it’s about this dirtbag Bobby (Sean Penn), an ex-tennis player in debt whose fancy-ass car breaks down in the middle of Tiny Desert Town, Hell (actually Superior, Arizona) on his way to delivering a bunch of cash to the guy who cut off some of his fingers, and then things get way worse. But he fucks Jennifer Lopez at least. (read the rest of this shit…)
I’m starting to feel like a pushover, ’cause I’m enjoying all these poorly reviewed movies. RED TAILS is a simple pleasure – a straightforward, old-fashioned tribute to the camaraderie between the pilots and crew members of the Tuskegee Airmen, the first African-American Air Force squadron. It centers on the friendship between straight-laced, mustache-having but sometimes flask-swigging Easy (Nate Parker) and reckless, authority-bucking wannabe-ace Lightning (David Oyelowo). Easy (unlike his grandson Easy E) always wants to be professional and follow protocol, Lightning likes to disobey orders to go play chicken with a German ammunitaion train or carelessly dive on a battleship with no backup. (read the rest of this shit…)
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Recent commentary and jibber-jabber
Dooleyn the Gravedigger on A Tree of Palme: “Top review Vern, I had never heard of this one and am seeking it out. Go check out Venus Wars,…” Apr 16, 13:25
CJ Holden on The Flintstones in Viva Rock Vegas: “Thankfully in my youth cartoons only aired on weekends, so I didn’t exactly had a 24/7 oversaturation on anything. And…” Apr 16, 06:43
Alex R on The Flintstones in Viva Rock Vegas: “@Daniel — That’s a good point and totally fair. And plenty cartoons are repetitive– speaking of Droopy, I remember buying…” Apr 16, 06:27
CJ Holden on The Flintstones in Viva Rock Vegas: “Eh. I mean despite enjoying PUP I’ve never been a fan of “dumb Fred”, but in MYSTERY INCORPORATED they cranked…” Apr 16, 06:16
daniel on Space Sweepers: ““They’re a ragtag crew of good-hearted rejects like you get in SPACE ADVENTURE COBRA, GUARDIANS OF THE GALAXY, Cowboy Bebop,…” Apr 16, 05:53
daniel on The Flintstones in Viva Rock Vegas: “@CJ Holden “Which is also why I hate MYSTERY INCORPORATED. The show basically starts with Velma telling the audience how…” Apr 16, 05:10
Anders And on A Tree of Palme: “I looked at the title and thought, what? a Japanese anime film about our killed prime minister? But of course…” Apr 15, 15:53
Alex R on The Flintstones in Viva Rock Vegas: “The main reason I didn’t like Scooby-Doo (the show) as a kid was its repetition. Hanna-Barbera was able to make…” Apr 15, 13:52
CJ Holden on The Flintstones in Viva Rock Vegas: “THE RELUCTANT WEREWOLF is also my favourite of the Scrappy/Shaggy’s Red Shirt era. Just because of how unashamed ridiculous it…” Apr 15, 11:22
Alex R on The Flintstones in Viva Rock Vegas: “Shout-out also to Scooby-Doo and the Reluctant Werewolf, which I enjoyed because it was about a race and all of…” Apr 15, 11:01
Alex R on The Flintstones in Viva Rock Vegas: “The main reason I didn’t like Scooby-Doo (the show) as a kid was its repetition. Hanna-Barbera was able to make…” Apr 15, 10:57
Ben C. on Space Sweepers: “I remember having a good time with this when it first came out… specifics are lost to the fog of…” Apr 15, 05:39
daniel on The Flintstones in Viva Rock Vegas: “@Alex R Surely a Phantom would slip out of any stocks. @CJ Holden “I admit that the Scrappy phase is…” Apr 15, 05:03
A great historical epic could be made about the Tuskegee airmen, the all black squadron of American fighter pilots in WWII. That’s what George Lucas thought back in ’88 when he started developing RED TAILS. He put together a script that he compared to 
We all know the grand American tradition of the movie about the black man but in the POV of the white man. It’s the story of the civil rights struggle and the brave white FBI agent or country lawyer who stood up and made a difference, or the spunky white lady who gave the mistreated black maids of Jackson a voice, but with her name on the cover. These are well-meaning, sometimes good movies, but they’re suspect in assuming the audience can only follow if they have a white surrogate on screen. They don’t trust us to put ourselves in the shoes of black characters. If Spike Lee hadn’t made MALCOLM X I bet it would’ve been about a white dude trying to understand Malcolm X, or giving him his ideas.
I’m starting to feel like a pushover, ’cause I’m enjoying all these poorly reviewed movies. RED TAILS is a simple pleasure – a straightforward, old-fashioned tribute to the camaraderie between the pilots and crew members of the Tuskegee Airmen, the first African-American Air Force squadron. It centers on the friendship between straight-laced, mustache-having but sometimes flask-swigging Easy (Nate Parker) and reckless, authority-bucking wannabe-ace Lightning (David Oyelowo). Easy (unlike his grandson Easy E) always wants to be professional and follow protocol, Lightning likes to disobey orders to go play chicken with a German ammunitaion train or carelessly dive on a battleship with no backup.
