At some point on this here internet I started seeing people refer to the alien species from the PREDATOR movies as “Yautja.” I sure never noticed anybody calling them that in the movies. Looking it up now I have learned it comes from a 1994 book called Aliens Vs Predator: Prey by Steve Perry and Stephani Perry*, which is a novelization of the original Aliens Vs Predator comics. Okay, so it seems the word has been around for a while, but still – Yautja mind if you think I’m gonna call those things anything other than Predators. That has always been my stance.
So I laughed when the very first thing on screen in the new movie PREDATOR: BADLANDS was the word “Yautja.” They use the word dozens of times, conservatively. So it’s official now – they’re Yautja, from the planet Yautja Prime. But in this review they’re Predators. (read the rest of this shit…)
I don’t want to fairy-tale-reimagining-sequel you guys out, but the truth is right after I watched THE HUNTSMAN: WINTER’S WAR I decided it was a good time to knock out MALEFICENT: MISTRESS OF EVIL too. I almost didn’t want to post about it, because there is no dignity in being a “not all Disney live action remakes are bad” person, but the truth is I remembered liking the first MALEFICENT when it came out in 2014, so I always meant to see the sequel.
I suppose there’s a distinction that it wasn’t a straight remake of SLEEPING BEAUTY, but a WICKED-inspired revisionist spin-off where it turns out those jerks got the iconic villainess all wrong, she’s another woman who got screwed over and demonized and she’s actually pretty cool if you get to know her. As crazy as it may sound I remember it being structured like a rape-revenge movie, with Maleficent’s prince cutting off her wings as the violation to be avenged. (Yes, in live action she has wings. Also horns. I always thought that was just a weird hat.)
Well, now Maleficent has her origin, the king is dead, the beauty is awake, and I’m kind of surprised how much mileage they get out of “what’s next?” After the not-your-mother’s-Snow-White of THE HUNTSMAN it’s nice to see some yes-this-is-like-the-old-Disney-movies enthusiasm for bright colors, fanciful creatures and shit. There’s more of that in the opening ten minutes of MISTRESS OF EVIL than in all of THE HUNTSMAN. After a prologue about people in the woods at night trying to capture a toadstool-headed fairy (Fantasyland truffle hunters), we’re reintroduced to Aurora (Elle Fanning, SOMEWHERE), now “Queen of the Moors,” convening a meeting of all the magical pixies, talking animals and walking trees of the forest.
A dumb and insignificant pet peeve of mine: Every time a trailer comes out for a music biopic, I see a bunch of posts about “I can’t believe they still make these after WALK HARD.” Yeah, ‘cause that’s the way it always works. After there’s a good parody the whole genre ends. Couldn’t possibly be that this is a type of movie people enjoy.
Well at any rate WALK HARD couldn’t stop the director of WALK THE LINE from returning to the scene of the crime. I’m not sure but there might even be a violation of the Prime Directive here, where the parodied has become aware of the parody, altering the course of the format. While everyone is making fun of biopics that try to explain a person and their art too neatly, A COMPLETE UNKNOWN seems to be arguing, even with the title, that Bob Dylan cannot, in fact, be explained. (read the rest of this shit…)
Nicolas Winding Refn had been around for years before he draped Ryan Gosling in that silver scorpion jacket and became such a name among the movie savvy that he can get a John Hyams remake of MANIAC COP funded and put his initials on the beginning and end of his movies like they’re monogrammed towels. He’d had international acclaim for the PUSHER trilogy and VALHALLA RISING, but DRIVE was such a perfect balance of effective crime drama, zeitgeisty nostalgia and style, and arthouse indulgence that it became a bonafide cultural moment. And he’s been trying to punish us for it ever since.
I like that he lets his freak flag fly, and while most of my friends couldn’t hang with his follow-up ONLY GOD FORGIVES, it really spoke to me with its odd mix of revenge story deconstruction, broken martial arts movie structure and feverish surrealism. His latest, NEON DEMON, swerves even further off the road of logic and coherence in its exploration of the world of young models in L.A.
Elle Fanning (MALEFICENT, SUPER 8, THE NUTCRACKER IN 3D, SOMEWHERE), somehow looking five years younger and more naive than in whatever movie I saw her in last, plays Jesse, a newcomer to town trying to find gigs. Makeup artist Ruby (Jena Malone, INHERENT VICE, SUCKER PUNCH) latches onto her after a shoot and introduces her to Gigi (Bella Heathcote, DARK SHADOWS) and Sarah (Abbey Lee, the Dag from FURY ROAD, also in GODS OF EGYPT), more experienced models who respond with jealousy and cruelty when the gatekeepers start treating her as something special. (read the rest of this shit…)
(lots of spoilers throughout this one, if you care)
I don’t want to bust your fuckin bubble man but some of the shit in the Disney movies is kinda dramatized and what not. For example the movie POCAHONTAS and probly also POCAHONTAS II in my opinion is more a cartoon fantasy musical based on the legend of John Smith being rescued by Pocahontas than a legitimate historical document. Well, now the Walt Disney Studios live action division has courageously blown the lid off the old animation studio, accusing them of fudging some of the facts in their classic SLEEPING BEAUTY. Touché. Hats off to Disney for exposing all this before WikiLeaks or somebody did.
If you are not familiar with SLEEPING BEAUTY it is an ironic title in my opinion because it’s the best looking Disney cartoon but also… let’s say, not the least boring one. It’s about a princess cursed by a wicked sorceress so that when she turns 16 she’ll die except a fairy godmother changes it so she’ll only fall asleep. That’s better than dying, but the catch is she can’t ever wake up, except there’s this loophole that a kiss of true love can do it. But how the fuck would that happen oh wait there’s a handsome prince willing to kiss a sleeping gal, so it works out.
If that whole story seemed kinda suspicious to you then you’re gonna see MALEFICENT and you’re gonna be like “I knew it. I fuckin knew it!” This is the story of how that sorceress Maleficent was not really the wicked old bitch who goes around cackling and talking about how evil she is, she’s just a strong woman who got a bum rap from a patriarchal society. After seeing this, SLEEPING BEAUTY will seem like racist anti-fairy propaganda. (read the rest of this shit…)
Finally the truth can be told. Because you know what? We have the right to know.
Not to brag or anything, but I always thought the official story behind this Nutcracker business was a bunch of bullshit. I mean, how naive can you be? And I knew the truth had to get out eventually. It was only a matter of time. Thank you, Freedom of Information Act.
Here, at last, is Tchaikovsky’s music and the associated Mouse King story (no credit for E.T.A. Hoffman) adapted into non-ballet, special-effects-laden movie form. This unexplainable Christmas fantasy mess was released theatrically in 2010 as THE NUTCRACKER IN 3D. It was directed and co-written by Andrey Konchalovskiy (RUNAWAY TRAIN, THE LION IN WINTER). I read that it was a dream project he’d tried to make for over 20 years, which would mean he started dreaming about it around the time he did TANGO & CASH. But on the making-of extra he said he’d been working on it since 1969. I wonder in which decade he lost track of why the hell he was doing it?
My Summer of 2001 10th Anniversary Retrospective will continue shortly, but as requested here’s a brief interlude in the present to deal with some pressing issues.
SUPER 8 is the new picture from writer/director Jay-Jay Abrams (‘Felicity’) that is produced by Steven Spielberg and done in a style that’s a slavish tribute to the classic Spielberg pictures of the ’70s and ’80s. It takes place in ’79 and it’s about a kid whose mom recently died (if it was a real Spielberg movie it would be about divorce), his dad doesn’t really understand him, his friends are making a zombie movie, and also there is a gigantic train crash that unleashes a monster that scares away the dogs, knocks over alot of shit and kidnaps his girl.
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Recent commentary and jibber-jabber
RBatty024 on Red Sonja (2025): “This absolutely won me over. Maybe they should have tried to film around their budget rather than try to stretch…” Nov 19, 14:18
RRA on Predator: Badlands: “This was the Klingon movie that Star Trek never gave us” Nov 19, 13:33
Bill Reed on Nobody 2: “Nobody 2: This movie isn’t a triumph of narrative or anything– not even sure what the thematic throughline is supposed…” Nov 19, 10:45
Acid Burn on Frankenstein (the 2025 Guillermo del Toro one): “My favorite change/update was the additional contemporary ideas and science GdT included in Victor’s understanding of how to create his…” Nov 19, 06:50
onlaynruletoyna on Basket Case: “Totally agree — Henenlotter’s films are more than just gross-out horror; there’s a lot of social commentary under the surface” Nov 19, 04:20
SR3116 on Frankenstein (the 2025 Guillermo del Toro one): “Interestingly enough, my first thought regarding Isaac’s wardrobe was not Prince, but Michael in terms of Victor’s wardrobe. When Victor…” Nov 19, 01:58
Colin Farth on Frankenstein (the 2025 Guillermo del Toro one): “Thank you Vern. The one with De Niro (Branahag’s one?) took some liberties, but if you take out the “Elizabride”…” Nov 18, 23:23
Acid Burn on Frankenstein (the 2025 Guillermo del Toro one): ““The electric birth of the monster in James Whale’s FRANKENSTEIN is one of the most famous scenes in cinema history,…” Nov 18, 19:53
burningambulance on Life of Crime / The Burnt Orange Heresy: “I liked THE BURNT ORANGE HERESY more than you (and yeah, the book rules; Willeford was an amazing writer). I…” Nov 18, 13:12
Mike V. on Christmas Bloody Christmas: “Uh, well, this is awkward–I don’t have a Facebook account, either. Can you send an email with the details to…” Nov 18, 12:16
JTS on Life of Crime / The Burnt Orange Heresy: “I saw Life of Crime when it came out but don’t remember anything about it at all except the premise…” Nov 18, 12:06
Mr. Majestyk on Christmas Bloody Christmas: “I’m glad you enjoyed UNDERCOVER ELF. I’d be happy to send you PDFs of those two stories. Send me a…” Nov 18, 10:37
At some point on this here internet I started seeing people refer to the alien species from the PREDATOR movies as “Yautja.” I sure never noticed anybody calling them that in the movies. Looking it up now I have learned it comes from a 1994 book called Aliens Vs Predator: Prey by Steve Perry and Stephani Perry*, which is a novelization of the original Aliens Vs Predator comics. Okay, so it seems the word has been around for a while, but still – Yautja mind if you think I’m gonna call those things anything other than Predators. That has always been my stance.
I don’t want to fairy-tale-reimagining-sequel you guys out, but the truth is right after I watched 
A dumb and insignificant pet peeve of mine: Every time a trailer comes out for a music biopic, I see a bunch of posts about “I can’t believe they still make these after WALK HARD.” Yeah, ‘cause that’s the way it always works. After there’s a good parody the whole genre ends. Couldn’t possibly be that this is a type of movie people enjoy.
Nicolas Winding Refn had been around for years before he draped Ryan Gosling in that silver scorpion jacket and became such a name among the movie savvy that he can get a John Hyams remake of 
(lots of spoilers throughout this one, if you care)
Finally the truth can be told. Because you know what? We have the right to know.
