Recently I got invited to see this new movie called FUCK MY SON!. It’s a disgusting x-rated comedy based on a Johnny Ryan comic, meant as a theatrical experience, they’re road-showing a 35mm print around and it was in Seattle on Friday and Saturday. Beforehand I looked at writer/director Todd Rohal’s filmography and noticed two titles I’d been vaguely aware of for many years. I really had no idea what they were about, just that somebody some time told me they were good. I decided to watch those and review them before the new one, so today we’ll be discussing Rohal’s 2006 debut THE GUATEMALAN HANDSHAKE. It’s the very definition of a “not for everyone” movie, though in an entirely different way than FUCK MY SON!. But I liked it, so I’ll tell you about it in case you’re not everyone.
There is a Guatemalan character in the movie, but I couldn’t tell you what the title means. Other aspects I could describe but not explain. It’s a very odd, absurd but dry comedy (arguably dramedy?) about a group of interconnected characters going on with life after the simultaneous disappearances of a guy named Donald (Will Oldham, WENDY AND LUCY, JACKASS 3D, THE BIKERIDERS), his dad’s goofy electric car, and an old lady’s dog. (read the rest of this shit…)
CHRISTMAS EVE IN MILLER’S POINT is a movie that I heard about last Christmas but it wasn’t on video yet. Some people were really flipping for it and that’s really all I knew about it, so I checked it out when I saw it was on blu-ray this week.
GOOD BOY is a 2025 indie horror movie with a high-difficulty gimmick: the main character is a dog. Played by a dog. I’ve heard it said that it’s in the point-of-view of the dog, but that’s not the case literally (because the camera is usually on the dog’s face) or narratively (because I’ll be damned if I knew what the dog’s thoughts were on all this). But as human events play out nearby the camera is always paying more attention to this dog named Indy (played by director Ben Leonberg’s dog Indy), and that does feel fresh.
BACURAU is a weird 2019 Brazilian film that I know my friend 
I was a child of the 1980s, but not of HBO or Showtime. That’s probly why I never saw DEATHSTALKER (1983) until last week. Still, I knew the idea of DEATHSTALKER enough to be excited when I read that it was getting a rebootmakemagining from writer/director Steven Kostanski, the Canadian goofball who gave us 
SISU: ROAD TO REVENGE came out Friday. It’s a sequel to the 2022 film 
CHRISTY is a biopic of Christy Salters, once known as Christy Martin, a pioneer of women’s professional boxing, competing from 1989-2012. It’s a very effective movie that hits some of the pleasing notes you want out of a normal sports drama, plus the additional joys of watching a woman be tough and rowdy at a time when most of society demanded she be “ladylike.” And if you know any biographical details of Salters at all you will be able to imagine a few other ways it stands out from every other boxing movie.
Okay, I’m gonna be up front about this: RED SONJA (2025) is a movie that I kinda liked, but it took some effort. It’s an underdog movie, you kinda gotta be rooting for it to work, I don’t know if it’s gonna win over anybody standing there with their arms folded. But maybe I’m wrong. It has a sincerity to it. It doesn’t seem self conscious. That can go a long way.
Today I’m looking at a pair of crime movies adapted from books by two of my favorite authors. I almost said “recent crime movies” because you know how time is, but it turns out one is more than five years old and the other is more than ten. It’s just that I put them off forever because I was afraid I was going to hate them. It turns out they’re both pretty well made movies, but yeah, I don’t think they have the spark I’m looking for.
