"CATCH YOU FUCKERS AT A BAD TIME?"

shit you should read: Mark L. Lester analysis

tn_commandoJohn Cribbs over at thepinksmoke.com did a new interview with b-movie great Mark L. Lester. Lester doesn’t seem to get alot of credit or attention, but I figure if one guy directed COMMANDO, CLASS OF 1984, CLASS OF 1999 and SHOWDOWN IN LITTLE TOKYO then it can’t be a fluke. John uses the occasion to go through most of the Lesterography. He offers some interesting analysis of reoccurring themes and has me interested in checking out alot of the ones I haven’t seen, even some recent DTV suspense thrillers.

I love this kind of shit. Check it out when you have a few minutes. Here’s the link: MARK L. LESTER: THE MOVIES

Seed of Fast Potpourri: The Face of Death: A New Beginning: The Dream Child

tn_deathwishvThis space reserved for writing comments about various stuff, things, crap, rigmarole, whatever, what have you, what not, etc., and the like, et al, vice versa, potato patoto.

One important note though. Out of respect for those who have fought and died for our right to, like, whatever, let’s keep it strictly off topic here, fellas.

At this time I ask you to please remove your hats. Thank you. No texting.

All Ages Cinematic Tryptych #3 of 3: Hugo 3D

tn_hugoHUGO is the new “picture” from Martin Scorsese (GOODFELLAS). Like HAPPY FEET TWO it’s in 3D and like THE MUPPETS it’s a nostalgic revival of bygone popular entertainment and involves visiting a long-since-given-up former legend and getting him to reluctantly think about the old days. But in this case it’s the work of early cinema pioneer George Melies. So the history lesson seems more appropriate here. I wasn’t convinced that we needed to be reminded what the Muppets are, but when it’s silent film, yeah, maybe explain some of that shit, Scorsy. (I don’t feel comfortable calling him ‘Marty,’ so I use ‘Scorsy.’)
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Family Friendly Trilogy Episode Two: Happy Feet Two

tn_happyfeettwoThe most philosophically ambitious of the 3 PG-rated movies I watched is the one that’ll probly get the least credit for it, George Motherfuckin Two Men Enter One Man Leaves Miller’s HAPPY FEET TWO. And first of all I want to give them credit for spelling out the number in their sequel title and not misspelling it for a pun. I’m sure it’s not the first spelled out non-homonym sequel title in history, but I couldn’t name you another one.
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Wholesome PG-rated triple feature part 1: The Muppets

tn_muppetsAfter watching the whole HOSTEL trilogy I felt like I had to watch something a little happier, and preferably with less torture, although that’s not necessarily a dealbreaker. Well, it just so happens that three great filmmakers of the ’70s – Martin Scorsese, George Miller and Kermit the Frog – have released new PG-rated family movies in recent weeks. So somehow I ended up watching them. And you know I am hesitant to spend too much time on puppets and cartoon animals and crap like that, but honestly these movies all have a little something to say, a little more going on beneath the surface than alot of the ones they make that are supposedly for grown adults. Maybe puppet movies and cartoons are just such a pain in the ass to make that people figure if they’re gonna do one they should try to make it worthwhile. Although that wouldn’t explain the Chipmunk movies. (read the rest of this shit…)

early review: Hostel Part III (plus, revisiting HOSTELs 1-2)

tn_hosteliiiI don’t know how much faith I’d normally have in a DTV sequel to HOSTEL that Eli Roth didn’t have anything to do with, but this one has a good pedigree: it’s directed by Scott Spiegel. He’s no visionary, but he’s not a nobody either. He was one of the producers of HOSTEL, he was the co-writer of EVIL DEAD 2, he directed that grocery store siege movie INTRUDER, he co-wrote THE ROOKIE with Boaz Yakin. Most important for this though he directed FROM DUSK TILL DAWN 2: TEXAS BLOOD MONEY, which for a long time was one of the best DTV movies in existence, especially among sequels to theatrical releases. To be honest I haven’t seen it in years, but I remember it being relentless in its use of gimmicky POV shots, putting us into the perspective of a dog doing push-ups, an oscillating fan, the inside of a bat’s mouth, etc. If you could accept that it was gonna be a low rent follow-up to a better movie it was a fun time. (read the rest of this shit…)

Juice

tn_juiceJUICE is an early ’90s “hood movie” about four young friends in New York who fall into some stupid shit. Tired of getting picked on by the Puerto Rican kids and the cops and not having money, they decide to get a gun (just one between them) and rob a little mini-mart where the guy is an asshole and yells at them sometimes. It’s not exactly The Thomas Crown Affair they’re trying to pull off, but they’re amateurs so they fuck up this small time crime and have to deal with the aftermath. (read the rest of this shit…)

The Devil’s Double

tn_devilsdoubleTHE DEVIL’S DOUBLE, the new film from the director of ONCE WERE WARRIORS and THE EDGE, is the fascinating true story of a man forced to be a lookalike decoy version of Uday Hussein, the most depraved of Saddam Hussein’s two sons. But shit, I can’t lie to you – Lee Tamahori is also the director of xXx: STATE OF THE UNION and NEXT, and the story is mostly bullshit other than how the poor guy got mixed up in this business. In fact, on the DVD Tamahori talks about how he wasn’t interested in doing a true story, saying it with disgust as if we’re all on the same page and he doesn’t have to explain why it would be boring to tell an incredible truth-is-stranger-than-fiction story. But oh well. I still thought it was worth watching. (read the rest of this shit…)

podcast alert: The Projection Booth on THE WOMAN CHASER

tn_womanchaserIf you read me alot you’ve probly seen me rambling about my love for the writer Charles Willeford now and then. He’s the guy that wrote the books of COCKFIGHTER and MIAMI BLUES and also one I love called The Burnt Orange Heresy that Neil Labute is supposed to be doing, although I don’t see how it would work as a movie. (It’s about a sociopathic art critic, told in first person, and he thinks he’s the good guy.) Back in 2005 I reviewed the little-seen gem of a movie version of THE WOMAN CHASER. Since then I read the book and respect the movie even more because it’s a very faithful and well done adaptation, but I rarely run into anybody who’s even heard of it.

So I was surprised and excited by the new WOMAN CHASER episode of Mike (not the guy who did CHUCK AND BUCK) White’s The Projection Booth podcast. He talks about the movie and interviews director Robinson Devor (who went on to do the acclaimed horsefucking documentary ZOO), executive producer Joe McSpadden and star Patrick Warburton. Since I knew very little about the making and even release of the movie this was really enlightening. Among other mysteries it explains why to this day it’s only been released on VHS.

I should probly cast more of these episodes into my pod. Of the ones I’ve listened to I would recommend the interview-heavy look at THE WARRIORS and especially their excellent ROBOCOP episode. I was impressed by the interviews with Ed Neumeier and others, and also by the use of ROBOCOP related novelty songs between segments. And wait a minute, Monte Hellman shot which scenes!? That episode turned my world upside down.

Superheroes

tn_superheroesIs SUPER HEROES a DECLINE OF WESTERN CIVILIZATION for the Nerd Age? This more-interesting-than-I-expected documentary takes a look at the burgeoning subculture of “Real Life Super Heroes,” people who create their own comic book inspired personas and costumes and “fight crime” (which seems to mostly mean walking around at night with other Real Life Super Heroes).

Seattle’s own Phoenix Jones is not represented. I’m not sure if this was filmed before his time or if he was too mysterious to be caught on camera. They do have a couple guys from Seattle, but one is just a fat guy in a t-shirt that says “Sky Man” on it. Another one carries a bow and arrow – what the fuck are you gonna do with that, shoot an arrow at some drunk guys fighting outside a club? Phoenix Jones got in trouble just using pepper spray. I don’t know about other cities, but I feel that Seattle is not bow-appropriate. (read the rest of this shit…)