I’ve been hearing about this genre-smooshing British crime thriller for a while now. Mostly from Paul, but it’s gotten great reviews all over the place. I did the right thing and didn’t read anything about it or watch a trailer or even know what the other movie by the same director is about. I just waited until I could rent an import DVD of it and check it out. (read the rest of this shit…)
Hey everybody: explain to me what I’m missing about KILL LIST
Valentine
Released in February of 2001, VALENTINE was one of the last of (the last of?) the post-SCREAM studio slasher movies. Its low box office totals, combined with the success of THE RING the next year, might’ve sealed the deal on that particular horror cycle. It’s directed by Jamie Blanks, who debuted with the similarly crappy URBAN LEGEND and later returned to his native Australia, where the spirit of the Tasmanian tiger or something blows in the wind, into his lungs, inspiring him to make much better movies (STORM WARNING, NATURE’S GRAVE). (read the rest of this shit…)
Vern’s Valentine’s Day Special. One night only.
I have already officially over-celebrated this holiday that I don’t even believe in, but I have this CLINT EASTWOOD: 35 FILMS DVD box set and it happens to have the movie THE BRIDGES OF MADISON COUNTY in it and I can think of nothing better to do tomorrow night than eat a sandwich and watch it for the first time with my friends, The Internet.
So tomorrow night, Tuesday February 14th, at approximately 8 pm West Coast time (depending on how fast I get home from work) I will be watching the movie and “live tweeting” it using the “Twitter” websight. I have set up a new account called @OutlawVernLive so don’t worry, I won’t be flooding your screen with my comments unless you “follow” that specific “twitter” using your computer machine. Also I cannot guarantee I will have anything worthwhile to say, or that I will not just be sobbing the whole time.
Sorry for the short notice, but if you also have this box set I trust your loved one will understand that you are cancelling the reservations and the 2-3 of you will be having the most romantic evening of all time with Clint, Meryl, one or more bridges, The Internet, and yours truly. (in a non-sexual way)
thanks
Lovers Lane
aka I’m Still Waiting For You
I didn’t even realize it until I started watching it, but LOVERS LANE is a cheapass slasher movie shot in the Seattle area. Mostly Issaquah, I think. Anna Faris, who grew up in nearby Edmonds, is in the movie (not her first, but Wikipedia calls it “her first significant role”). It was filmed in 1999, but seems more like an ’80s slasher. (read the rest of this shit…)
Hospital Massacre
aka X-Ray
In 1982, a year after MY BLOODY VALENTINE, we got this Golan and Globus production which also begins with a murderous incident on Valentine’s Day, 1961. It looks like the ’80s and the kids even say “Omigod!”, but it says it’s 1961 so I’m taking their word for it. In this one a little boy named Harold leaves a valentine for a little girl named Susan and watches through her window as she reads it. When she sees it’s from Harold she laughs and her (brother? boyfriend?) crumples it up and throws it on the ground.
While Susan goes into the other room to cut two giant pieces of cake for her and the boy, Harold comes in and breaks the kid’s neck and hangs him from a coatrack. (read the rest of this shit…)
My Bloody Valentine (1981)
I know Valentine’s Day is one of those holidays that’s sort of made up to sell greeting cards, like Ziggy Day in May or Rehearsal Christmas in September. It’s based on an actual Christian martyr but the traditions got nothing to do that, it’s all a scam by Hallmark, the chocolatier lobby and Big Flower. Still, it’s enough of a real holiday to have a handful of slasher movies based on it, and therefore I am willing to acknowledge it. (read the rest of this shit…)
Nerd Shit Special Edition: Phantom Menace 3D
I went and saw a revival movie at the local cinema, it’s called STAR WARS EPISODE I: DARTH MAUL (formerly The Phantom Menace) 3D. I’m not sure if you guys are familar with that movie from the dvd and blu-ray, but check it out, you’d probly like it. Anyway they have it re-released in theaters in 3D.
The reason I bring it up is because I think this is more proof of the wrong-headedness of modern 3D. Not because it’s 3D, as is the conventional wisdom, but because it’s not 3D enough. This is a special case because obviously it’s not a movie shot in 3D, it’s one of these postconversions that I decided to stop seeing, but (like TITANIC) it’s one that they spent more time and money on and it was done by technicians who seem to give a shit, so I was hoping it would be done well. (read the rest of this shit…)
The Black Power Mixtape 1967-1975
THE BLACK POWER MIXTAPE 1967-1975 is an unusual documentary. The title means that the footage wasn’t made as part of one movie, it’s a collection of short pieces covering stories of the American civil rights movement, put together and recontextualized a little with voiceovers by activists (Angela Davis), poets (Abiodun Oyewole from the Last Poets) and musicians (Talib Kweli, Erykah Badu) talking about what they’re seeing. There’s coverage of Stokely Carmichael, young Nation of Islam spokesman Louis Farrakhan talking about his church, the Attica riots, Angela Davis in jail (wearing a red turtleneck) telling about the terror of racist bombings during her childhood to chastise an interviewer for asking her if she believes in violence. (read the rest of this shit…)
Sinners and Saints
Hey, remember Leon from THE FAST AND THE FURIOUS? Of course not, nobody does. He’s the guy that doesn’t really get to do anything, or come back in any sequels for a second chance. He’s played by Johnny Strong, the lead in this movie. Strong also wrote and performed the songs, so this must be a passion project for him. He plays one of these Over the Edge Cops, you know. Going Too Far, because of various troubles (son died, wife left him, also war and Katrina vet). At first I was suspicious of Strong as a leading man, but he pulls it off. He’s pretty good. (read the rest of this shit…)
The Woman
Honestly all I knew going into THE WOMAN was who made it, that it was supposed to be really good, and that some dude flipped out when he saw it at Sundance and had to be removed as he yelled that the movie had no value and should be burned.
The director is Lucky McKee (MAY) and he wrote it with the novelist Jack Ketchum, who he also collaborated with on RED (the good RED – sorry Bruce). I liked both of those movies quite a bit, but this is McKee’s best work yet. It’s surprising and it’s darkly humorous and it’s the rare horror movie that works without following the template of any previous movie, at least not one that I can think of. So this is one of those reviews that I recommend you don’t read yet unless you either already saw the movie or don’t plan to see it. I didn’t see a trailer or anything and I was glad I didn’t really know what it was about at all. (read the rest of this shit…)
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