KICKBOXER 3 is one of the movies I watched for the Super-Kumite but had to turn it into an exhibition match due to its lack of tournament. This is a pretty enjoyable one though with a weird mix of sports movie and violent shootout movie. Also it deals with sex trafficking just like the last movie I reviewed. (Don’t worry – it’s against it.)
NINJA III is one of the only movies to really explore how much ninjas like yogurt
One of our nation’s perennial VHS favorites, NINJA III: THE DOMINATION, has recently made the transition to digital and high definition disc type formats courtesy of the heroes at Shout Factory. Check out my review of the new blu-ray over on Daily Grindhouse. If you also want to read a review I wrote of the movie a couple years ago then you can click here.
Bolo explains energy transference punches using that desk thing you buy at the Sharper Image
It’s back-to-back Blanks! Everything’s coming up Blanks! This week my column on Daily Grindhouse somehow merged with their regular column Videogeddon. I didn’t intend that, but then the world didn’t intend to use up all their resources and have to move all the rich people underground to be protected by Billy Blanks on a motorcycle. These things happen.
That’s right, I reviewed TC 2000 starring Blanks with Bolo Yeung, Jalal Merhi and Mathias Hues, and celebrating its 20th anniversary this August. Click on the title there to check it out.
Round 1, final competitor, Team Blanks vs. The Red Fist Club
“I didn’t come here to box. I gave that up a long time ago. I came here to find his killer.”
I’m not sure, but could BLOODFIST be the first movie to include sports achievements in the credits? Because it lists the star as DON WILSON – WORLD KICKBOXING ASSOCIATION LIGHT HEAVYWEIGHT WORLD CHAMPION.”
(Rob Kaman, Billy Blanks and Kris Aguilar get similar credits.)
Of course, we call him Don “The Dragon” Wilson for short, and he stars as Jake Raye, a retired boxer who works pathetically giving faked fight demos for bullied kids at Hal & Jake’s Self Defense in the Valley. He coulda been a contender or whatever but he selflessly donated his kidney to his half brother Mike (Ned Hourani, BLOOD CHASE, BLOOD HANDS, BLOOD RING, FIST OF GLORY, ETERNAL FIST, LIVE BY THE FIST). With only one of those things he could die if he went back in the ring. (read the rest of this shit…)
This week in my column at DAILY GRINDHOUSE I take a look at yet another VHS-only martial arts oddity, it’s called EQUAL IMPACT. Hats off if any of you have heard of it. This one stars one-and-done tae kwon do practicing twin brothers Joe and Jay Gates, plus Robert Z’Dar and Joe Estevez. And as I was watching it I was surprised to realize it was filmed in Seattle.
Round 1, Final Bout, Team Blanks vs. The Red Fist Club
“You’ve got steel balls, but no brains.”
How’s this for a weird twist on the fighting tournament movie: mismatched undercover narcotics agents Billy Blanks (USA) and Jalal Merhi (Canada) train real hard to enter an underground fighting tournament so they can impress crime lord Mr. Li (James Hong). It works, he hires them, and the tournament is never mentioned again.
Up until that point it has all the traditional tournament movie touches, though. The older mentor is Master Pan Quing Fu, a hall-of-famer martial artist who helped the Chinese government catch 23 Triad leaders in the ’60s, appeared in SHAOLIN TEMPLE with Jet Li, and is playing himself in this movie! We know he’s a good dude because when Mr. Li tries to “pay repects” to him with a bunch of cash Master Pan burns it with a torch. (read the rest of this shit…)
Round 1, Bout 3, Team Video Games vs. The Men From Hong Kong
Fung Shang Wu Chi is the Darth Vader of the Man Chu Ching Dynasty. He’s a blind man who lives on a mountain disguised as a Buddhist lama, but he works for the Emperor, seeking out the last remaining rebels who support the former Ming Dynasty and decapitating them with the flying guillotine, a scientifically questionable but cinematically unparalleled weapon that’s basically a ring on a chain. When he tosses it over someone’s head it unfolds into a basket with a circle of blades inside, then he yanks it and it’s off with their head. And it’s ingeniously designed because the whole thing can fold up into small cylinder about the size of a pocket umbrella. If these things were easier to master then women could keep them in their purses instead of pepper spray, that would be pretty cool. (read the rest of this shit…)
ROUND 1, BOUT 2, AMERICAN KICKBOXERS VS. THE WOMEN
“They’re gonna be punchin where you’re at. Don’t be there.”
I wasn’t familiar with Mimi Lesseos until I was trying to find more tournament movies and I discovered this one. Actually, her wrestling name “The Magnificent Mimi” sounds kind of familiar, maybe I heard of her back in the late ’80s when she was a contender for the AWA World Women’s Championship belt (which she never got, except in a 1989 Playboy spread). After appearing as The Magnificent Mimi, chief rival to the heroine of AMERICAN ANGELS: BAPTISM OF BLOOD (1989), Lesseos decided to pull a Tom Laughlin and make her own independent action vehicles. She started by writing, producing and starring in PUSHED TO THE LIMIT (1992). (read the rest of this shit…)
SUPER-KUMITE, ROUND 1, SECOND BOUT: AMERICAN KICKBOXERS VS. THE WOMEN
IMDb may list this Cannon production as AMERICAN KICKBOXER, but the DVD cover and more importantly the title screen call it AMERICAN KICKBOXER 1. So going by the DIE HARD 2 precedent that is the official title as far as I’m concerned. Part 1 is the story of B.J. Quinn (John Barett, GYMKATA), middleweight kickboxing champ with a 35-1 record. In the opening fight he takes on the young up and comer Chad Hunter (Keith Vitali, REVENGE OF THE NINJA) and wins with an allegedly accidental elbow. Because of B.J.’s arrogant talk on the way to the ring and the dishonorable means of victory I honestly thought this was the introduction of the bad guy. But I guess he’s supposed to be one of those lovable asshole characters, or possibly just a guy at a low point who needs redemption or whatever. (read the rest of this shit…)
ROUND 1, FIRST BOUT, BLOODSPORT SEQUELS VS. TEAM BOLO
“You’re a true warrior, Alex.”
The hero of the original BLOODSPORT, Frank Dux (played by the icon of tournament fighting movies, Jean-Claude Van Damme) trained in ninjitsu as a kid after stealing a valuable katana and then impressing its owner by having second thoughts and returning it. As an adult he’s in the Army, but goes AWOL to enter the dangerous underground Kumite tournament.
The replacement hero for the Van-Damme-less part 2, Alex Cardos (Daniel Bernhardt, the Swiss martial artist and model who had been in a Versace commercial with Van Damme) is also a dirty sword-stealer, but this guy does it as a grown man, has no regrets and doesn’t try to give it back. He goes to a party at Pat Morita’s house, steals the sword from upstairs and makes a lunch date with a lady he was flirting with named Janine (Lori Lynn Dickson) as he flees. (read the rest of this shit…)
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VERN on The Devil’s Candy: “I saw that trailer too. I really liked both of Byrne’s previous movies, and the idea of Jai Courtney as…” Apr 3, 01:12
Adam C aka TaumpyTearrs on The Devil’s Candy: “The most exciting part of my Ash theatrical experience was a trailer for Sean Byrne’s new movie Dangerous Animals, coming…” Apr 3, 00:11
Mr. Majestyk on Legend of the Eight Samurai: “Any movie with a title that sounds like the name of a lesser Wu Tang affiliate is worth watching.” Apr 2, 11:42
VERN on Legend of the Eight Samurai: “Definitely sounds up my alley. You had me at “I recommend BASTARD SWORDSMAN” though.” Apr 2, 11:05
Borg9 on Mickey 17: “It’s worth remembering that Bong grew up in a country being ruled by the military and may have other insights…” Apr 2, 09:33
Mr. Majestyk on Legend of the Eight Samurai: “Hey Vern, if you’re in the mood for more weird 80s kung fu, I recommend BASTARD SWORDSMAN, a Shaw Bros…” Apr 2, 06:22
Dreadguacamole on Mickey 17: “I liked it but, to be honest I would rate every other Joon-ho movie I’ve seen over it. A few…” Apr 2, 02:41
KayKay on Top Gun: Maverick: “And we’ve now lost Iceman for good!!! RIP Val…you were truly an iconic actor of your generation. The perfect blend…” Apr 1, 22:20
VERN on Mickey 17: “I don’t think Bong was trying to make a movie about Trumpism, I think that character is a whole bunch…” Apr 1, 18:28
Toxic on Mickey 17: “I remember that some people hated TEAM AMERICA because since the backdrop was a satire of the G. W. Bush…” Apr 1, 17:18
KayKay on Everything Everywhere All At Once: “So for those who loved Quan breaking out the kung fu in EEAAO and thought, this guy needs a movie…” Apr 1, 16:15
Ben C. on Mickey 17: “I have to say I agree with Mr Subtlety on this – I really wanted to like this more than…” Apr 1, 14:36
Mr. Subtlety on Mickey 17: “I have to say, I liked much of this, but Ruffalo’s awful Trump analog sort of ruined it for me.…” Apr 1, 13:54