You know how much I love those Baby Assassins, the young women in the movie series from writer/director Yugo Sakamoto. Chisato (Akari Takaishi) is an energetic, giggly anime girl come to life, Mahiro (Saori Izawa) is her dour bleach blond best friend, they were raised to murder for money, a job they’re very good at, but that they try to just get over with so they can pursue their passions such as enjoying desserts and making soup and going to restaurants.
In BABY ASSASSINS (2021) they had graduated high school so their organization made them find an apartment and day jobs. In BABY ASSASSINS 2 (2023) they had to get out of an enormous debt because they forgot they signed up for an elite assassin gym membership and ignored all the bills. There’s plenty of absurd humor about the bureaucratic operations of this underworld, but the main attraction is obviously the excellent fights, action directed by Kensuke Sonomura (MANHUNT, HYDRA, BAD CITY). Izawa is a veteran stunt pro (doubling the lead of the RUROUNI KENSHIN movies) while Takaishi is an actress, but they both acquit themselves well in long, brutal battles. I like how in this little scene where they play fight on the beach Izawa can’t help but go into a serious fight stance and reveal the muscles she usually keeps hidden under baggy clothes.
Sonomura’s style is very distinct in its rhythms and movements, often involving quick knife hits, close-quarters shooting, with lots of rolling and spinning and running up walls and things to distract and evade. It’s such a specific approach that I once came across some post making fun of the action in a Resident Evil animated movie and immediately knew from the clip that Sonomura did the mo-cap.
Maybe there’s something nihilistic about this series, that you have to love these two even though they kill people for a living and don’t even seem conflicted about it. Or maybe it’s just proof that we don’t have to take stories literally. We’d never shoot and stab people like Chisato and Mahiro do routinely, but we can relate to some of their fuck ups or their emotional states. Or maybe there’s something poetically true about being used to the horrible things that are accepted as normal in our culture, and being able to forget about them and find joy in life playing video games or enjoying beverages piled in whip cream. Mostly I just think these two are funny, though. I love their chemistry, the ways they’re so different from each other, the ways they’re exactly the same, the ways they bounce off each other both in goofing around and in fighting. I’ve said this about other duos, but I’d watch them in anything, I don’t care if it’s this type of story or they have to solve a mystery or stay overnight in a haunted house or what.
Last year’s BABY ASSASSINS 3 (a.k.a. BABY ASSASSINS: NICE DAYS) is a little different in that there are fewer desserts consumed and we never see them in their tiny, cluttered apartment because it takes place while they’re visiting Miyazaki. It’s for an assignment of course but they finish massacring the gang on day 1 and try to turn it into a vacation. Despite that departure (not because of it) this might even be my favorite BABY ASSASSINS movie so far.
Tonally it might be a little more complex – it opens with a killing that’s not made light of at all. Kaede (SHIN KAMEN RIDER himself Sosuke Ikematsu) kills a guy in the woods, covering his face in blood, witnessed by an innocent child, not fun stuff. His douchebag hipster agent Tsutomu Hirokawa (Karuma, No.1 Sentai Gozyuger) hands him a cigarette and his next assignment, a nerdy embezzler named Tsuyoshi Mastsuura (Kaibashira), who will be the last of 150 (!) people he has to kill, and then he’ll be free.
It’s a real hardship for him. Meanwhile the Babies are having fun.
But the organization sends them after Matsuura as substitutes for a local killer who called in sick, and they interrupt Kaede in the middle of executing him. “I guess we got double-booked, huh?” They don’t really give a shit, “But if we let a freelancer go free, that’ll affect the guild’s reputation,” so the rivals fight until the target slips away. Soon older guild assassins Iruka (Atsuko Maeda, “Refugee,” SHIN GODZILLA) and Riku (Mondo Otani) arrive to tell them they must kill Kaede and then Matsuura (in that order) to restore their standing with the guild. Iruka is a harsh and uptight lady who complains about Gen-Zers having no pride or honor, Riku is a friendly failed bodybuilder obsessed with doing what’s best for his muscles. The ladies bicker and compete while working as a team and eventually, satisfyingly, they learn to kinda like each other.
Kaede has a headquarters with walls covered in notes and photos, and keeps a diary rating each of his hits. “My 100th kill should’ve been perfect, but I wasted bullets. Only amateurs let motivation and mental health hurt performance. Grade C.” His obsession, his anger about this hiccup happening right before he’s done, and the solemness with which Sakamoto treats Mahiro losing the first fight make this one pretty scary, like Kaede is really gonna hurt our girls.
He’s a genuine psycho, but there’s definitely a tragic element to him being stuck in this endless job for some rich family who want to off everyone they consider involved in the cancellation of their dipshit son (“after posting a video of picking, eating, and throwing away strawberries” – this part I didn’t understand).
It’s a good story but as always it’s the little character details: that they brought colorfully printed raincoats and wet wipes to deal with the blood from the massacre, that Mahiro is anxious about having to talk to the stylist during an upcoming haircut, that Chisato has become even more of a cartoon character than before but Mahiro doesn’t seem to notice.
And it’s the little moments like sharing their first beer together in a tent, laughing about it being warm, about the suds overflowing and about it tasting “nasty.” They also get to dress up fancy and pretend to be famous musicians named Ruby and Sapphire. Both sides cross “an agricultural co-op assassin team” called The Farm, giving them more people to fight. Crime scene cleanup guy Mamoru Tasaka (Atom Mizuishi, Tokyo Vice) and his part 2 sidekick Mana Miyachi (Tomo Nakai) also return. There’s kind of a MISSION: IMPOSSIBLE feel to the teamwork and definitely the opening credits with a montage of the Babies in action.
The climactic fight is so good and brutal, exhausting in a THE RAID sort of way. And it has a moment (SPOILER: Chisato grabbing the blade with her bare hand to stop him from stabbing Mahiro) that made me teary the way it uses intense action to illustrate their love for each other. Under all the blood and silliness of this series is a friendship I’ve become very invested in.
Mahiro is paid the compliment of Kaede calling her the #1 toughest person he’s ever fought, but she’s able to laugh it off. “You rank people? What a weirdo.” As often happens in these movies (and works every time) the tired opponents are able to have conversations that they could really only have with someone else in this horrible business. She gets to talk about the guys they killed in part 2. She forgot their names but smiles describing them.
I tell you, man, I understand why some people wouldn’t be into these movies, but if you’re into martial arts based action I think you owe it to yourself to try it out. If you need another push, maybe it will get you primed for Sonomura’s next movie THE FURIOUS, directed by the other greatest working Japanese choreographer Kenji Tanigaki. It’s been getting raves at film festivals and it stars Sahajak Boonthanakit (ONLY GOD FORGIVES), Joey Iwanaga (SAMURAI MARATHON), Brian Le (THE PAPER TIGERS), Yayan Ruhian (THE RAID), Joe Taslim (THE NIGHT COMES FOR US), Jeeja Yanin (CHOCOLATE) and Miao Xie (the kid from MY FATHER IS A HERO!), so I’m pretty sure it’s gonna be an event around here.
September 24th, 2025 at 6:02 pm
One of these days somebody’s going to write the definitive dissertation on what’s up with all these secret societies of assassins with intricate codes of conduct from which there is no escape once fealty has been sworn. I mean, Timo Tjahjanto alone has created at least five or six. Is it something about this particular moment in history or are we just still in the JOHN WICK backwash?
These movie are a hard sell for that reason and others but I believe you, Vern. If you’re willing to go to bat for them like this, I’ll give them a shot if they ever cross my path.