In this new column what it is is I answer your questions and tell you my opinion on various shit.That’s why it’s called “VERN TELL’S IT LIKE IT IS” because frankly that is EXACTLY what I will be doing. And if you don’t like it than fuck you jack.
For my first column, October 11 1999 I will be answering a question which was asked to me by my bud musemalade from rec.arts.movies.current-films. this is a dude who knows a lot of shit about movies and i find a guy like me humble and learning from this man just about every fucking day. so do NOT be disrespecting this guy in front of me in my opinion it would NOT be a picnic.
Hey guy there’s one question I’m curious about and you don’t have to answer it if you don’t want to, since I know you’re trying to practice your writing and become better and all. I have to ask anyway: why are you calling yourself an “outlaw” if you’re trying to sober up and go clean? I think it’s a bit of a contradiction myself, but don’t take offense since I mean no offense by it. I’m just trying to help.
–Musemalade, rec.arts.movies.current-films
Well bud that’s a very good question to be frankly honest and i’m going to answer it in today’s column. i can understand why you might consider it a contradiction or whatever but i do NOT agree in my opinion and this is why.
as an armed robber and criminal i was an “outlaw” in the classic sense of the old west, motherfuckers like billy the kid, bonnie and clyde, eddie the splayer, etc. That is NOT what i am about anymore although i do like a good cowboy movie now and then. (read the rest of this shit…)
I have seen a lot of talk about Jean Claud Van Damme on this news group so what i did was I decided to go out and rent some of his movies over at a “Blockbuster video” that they have here. i made a night out of it actually and so here’s what i think about this much discussed karate man.
Anybody seen this movie. its probaly pretty old but – I just got out so I haven’t seen that many movies, but i just saw men in black at a girl’s house and it wasn’t that bad. personally i thought it was pretty stupid but there was some funny shit at times. she liked it i think i will ask her if i see her again (probly well, wink).
To be frankly honest I almost left off the review of sam mendes American beauty because it was not really my personality in my opinion. Although i worked very hard on it I also had a dude edit spelling errors, grammar etc. for me and looking back it is really not me, it is really not VERN. Too slick, mainstream and hollywood in my opinion. I had been gone from the newsgroup after an incident of hurting a man’s feelings and going in search of myself. I wanted to show that I had really improved as a Writer however this was not very honest to have another man’s help. So please don’t read this review in my opinion thanks. 
I have seen people arguing about Run Lola here so I decided to check it out today. I have always believed in thinking for yourself and a man has a right to his opinion. The movie? what can i say. I don’t know a whole lot about german movies so i didn’t understnad all of it.
This is a movie where Ichabod from Sleepy Hollow teams up with a fat Mexican dude named Benicio Del Toro, and these two drive to Las Vegas on 700 different types of drugs to cover a motorcycle race for a magazine. I believe Bill Murray played this same Ichabod character back in the ’80s based on the real guy, Hunter S. Thompson who wrote the book.
You know with the year 2000 and everything maybe my new year’s resolution should be to cut down on sex with young women. now don’t get me wrong 18 is my cut off point, I’m not going down again and that’s a fact, jack. But still this may be too young for ol’ Vern and let me explain why.
